Three Days in Two Years

by Frost Bear

The Princess

Twilight followed the pegasus for several miles.

The unforgiving sun blazed on her back. Sweat dripped from her wing, dragging in the sand. She panted heavily. The stallion refused to speak a word. Her questions remained unanswered. The only thing she knew was where she was.

And she did not like it.

“Are we there yet?” she huffed.

“Yes,” The stallion finally spoke.

Twilight glanced around. There seemed to be nothing but sand and dust around them.

“That’s not funny,” she frowned.

“I wear glasses and you’re the one that can’t see?”

“See what? There’s nothing but sand, sun, and OMPH!” Twilight tripped over something, “rock…”

“That’s actually a boat.”

“Who in Equestria has a boat in the middle of a desert?!”

“This isn’t Equestria.”

Twilight moaned, “I’m going to die because of you.”

“So long as we agree it was an accident,” the stallion chuckled.

Twilight picked herself up with a grunt. She continued following the pegasus. It was now that she noticed solid ice up ahead. A miraculous sight, the closer they got to the ice the more she could see. Eventually a small town covered in sand, stone, and ice was visible. The stallion lead her to a small tavern with a couple ice sculptures in front of it.

“These sculptures are so life like,” she said as she touched the face of one, “Who did these and how did they get ice out here?”

The stallion turned back, “Those… aren’t sculptures…”

Twilight felt the blood drain from her body as she stared into the eyes of the face of a screaming pony frozen in ice. She jolted back with a yelp. Scanning the other not sculptures left one question on her mind.

“What sort of monster would do this?”

“That’d be my mom you’re talking about,” the stallion laughed, walking into the tavern.

“I- I’m sorry.”

“Did I tell you about the time she chopped up some pony and buried her in a box in the middle of Nowhere?”

Twilight shook her head.

The tavern held several ponies. Most of them looked like common bandits. Others appeared to be… ‘flamboyant’ criminals. Only a select few looked unique. Herself, the stallion she followed, and two ponies standing at the bar. An earth stallion twice the size of Big Macintosh and a pegasus mare talking to one of the bandits.

“Listen lady, I got orders to get that money. Either give it up or else,” the bandit threatened.

The earth stallion grunted. The mare held a hoof out that told him to stand down.

“I told you, I don’t owe anyone anything. Now get out before I add you to the collection.”

“You’re bluffing!”

“Well I might get creative,” the mare turned towards Twilight and the blue stallion, “Oh, Teddy, Back so soon? You’re just in time to help out.”

The stallion nodded and trotted to the bandit. On comparison, the stallion was a LOT smaller and thinner than the bandit. The bandit himself was roughly the same size Twilight was.

“Ha! This scrawny little thing? What’s he going to do, collapse?” the bandit laughed hysterically.

The stallion shook his head, “Nah, I don’t fight. Idiots tend to kill themselves for me.”

The bandit growled, “Why you little,” he lunged for him only to see the stallion swiftly step to the side. The bandit flew onto a poker table. The game ended with a very angry stallion. The bandit looked up and gulped loudly.

“Could you please take it outside? I just mopped this morning,” the blue stallion whined.

The angry stallion nodded and grabbed the bandit by the tail. The bandit struggled and cried as he was dragged outside. An audible crunch was heard once they went past the door.

Twilight shivered at what kind of place she stumbled into.

“So who’s the mare?” the pegasus mare eyed Twilight, “Alicorn eh? Well at least she has wings.”

“Mom…” the blue stallion groaned.

“Mom?” Twilight whispered, remembering the not sculptures outside.

“Ok, you can tell me about it later. I embarrassed you enough,” the mare giggled, “So what’s you’re name princess?”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“I’m Cloudy Bear and these are my sons,” she pointed to the giant earth stallion, “Pig Pen…” she moved her hoof to the blue stallion, “and Teddy Bear.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Twilight offered her hoof to Pig Pen. Said stallion just grunted.

“He’ll warm up to you eventually,” Teddy stated, “Since your here that means you don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Well I should get back to Canterlot.”

“Don’t bother. Nothing gets back to Equestria once they’re banished,” Cloudy frowned.

“I wasn’t banished! Discord just sent me here so that thing wouldn’t turn me to stone.”

“Right, and Pig Pen is a genius!” Teddy sarcastically said.

Twilight fumed but let it pass, “Fine, whether you believe me or not I still need supplies, rest, and a drink.”

“I’m thirty too, we got cactus juice?”

Cloudy ducked under the bar and pulled out a pair of frozen cacti sliced in half. The liquid in them was lime green and had a powerfully sweet aroma.

Twilight inspected it thoroughly.

“Just drink it. You’ll like it,” Cloudy smiled.

Twilight took a sip of the juice and saw Teddy leisurely drank it like it was fine wine. Twilight quickly finished it.

“Ok, now where can I get supplies?”

“Huey, Dewy, and Loui can help you with that. They run the general store in the center of town.” Teddy commented.

“You may have to help her,” Cloudy winked.

“Alright…”

Teddy tapped Twilight on the shoulder and led her outside. Twilight couldn’t help but flinch at the remains of the bandit. She felt even more nervous at the fact that Teddy didn’t even notice.

“How can you not react to all this?”

Teddy shrugged, “You get use to it.”

As they walked deeper into town, Twilight took mental notes on the ponies in town.

Much like the tavern, they mostly consisted of bandits. What caught her eyes were the strange ponies in masks. They were reminiscent of the crystal ponies’ festival masks. Brightly colored with gem stones around the rims and eyes. Twilight originally thought they were friendly nobles of this town… until two of the opened their mouths.

“I WANT YOUR HEAD ON MY CAROUSEL!” a stallion in a cyan mask shouted.

“EAT MY HOOF SO I CAN CHEW ON YOUR FACE!” a mare replied.

The two then bashed their heads together and passed out.

Twilight couldn’t decide if she wanted to be disgusted or laugh.

“Daw… cute couple,” Teddy cooed.

“If you say so.”

Twilight felt nauseous as they continued their walk. More psychotic ponies in masks appeared along with unique looking ponies. One, she noticed was a red unicorn mare with glowing blue tattoos on her left side. As in the entire left side of the mare was covered in tattoos. Twilight suspected the glowing part was caused by some sort of magic. Next to her was a pink filly with a mask on the side of her face. Twilight averted her eyes when she noticed her cutie mark was a bunch of dynamite with a lit fuse.

Eventually they made it to the store. Twilight expected some stallion that was just as crazy as the rest of the ponies in this town. Instead she was staring at a changeling with a red hat and red shirt.

“Ah, Teddy, how was your trip? Bring me anything?” the changeling hissed.

Teddy pulled out a small ball of sentient fluff. It was the cutest thing in the universe! Big vibrant emerald eyes with cubby cheeks and little paws nearly caused Twilight to have a heart attack. It even held a paper heart with the words ‘I wuv u’ on it. Even though she cringed at the spelling on it she felt enchanted by it.

Teddy threw it at the changeling.

The changeling sucked energy from the creature, “Delicious!”

Twilight flared her wings and lit her horn.

“Calm down, it’s just a Wuv Duv,” Teddy glared.

“A what?”

“Wuv Duv. Town used to be infested with these thing,” Teddy explained, “Until these guys showed up,” he pointed at the changeling with a smile.

“We get fed and keep the town pest free,” The changeling giggled.

“Oh… So this the store you were talking about?”

“That’s right!” the changeling chimed, ”This is the Main General Goods Market! I’m Huey, I run the clothing department.”

“That’s nice but I need supplies.”

“Than you’ll need to speak to my brother Loui. He runs the weapons and farming department.”

Twilight and Teddy walked into the store behind Huey.

“I’ll let my brother know you’re coming to see him!”

The two ponies wandered through the store. Mannequins displayed many cloths and weapons. A fancy dress with an axe, a scarf and fedora with a knife, mixed matched armor with a spear, etc. etc. It felt more like junk than actually goods. Judging by the looks of the ponies in town, this store was their Carousel Boutique.

Twilight bumped into another changeling with a green shirt and green hat.

“Hi! I’m Loui, I run the weapons and farming department,” he greeted, “My brother told me you need supplies. We got a great deal on Boom-spores! Buy two get a Chilly Pepper for free!”

Twilight glanced over to the produce. All the strange plants looked like nothing she’d seen before. A blue pepper laid next to a pair of twitching yellow mushrooms. She assumed that was the ‘boom-spores’ and ‘chilly pepper’ the changeling was talking about. Twilight respectfully declined.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Well what can I get for you today?”

“Just enough food and water to get back to Equestria.”

Teddy and Loui burst into laughter. It went on for a couple minutes. Loui whipped a tear from his eye.

“Sorry but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Teddy leaned in close, “A dainty little princess like you wouldn’t last long in the Badlands alone.”

“You’re one to talk,” Twilight muttered looking at Teddy’s incredibly small frame.

“HA! You got burned!”

“Shut up,” Teddy grunted, “Unlike you, I actually know what’s out there and have years of experience living here.”

“Oh yeah? All I need to do is some research and I’ll walk through the Badlands no problem! Where’s the library?”

“Oh! My brother Dewy can help you! He runs the information department,” Loui ran off around the corner. In a second, a changeling with a blue hat and blue shirt walked up to them.

“Hi! I’m Dewy, I run the information depar-“

“I get it,” Twilight cut him off, “Couldn’t you settle on one name though? It’s pretty obvious when we only talk to one changeling that just changes shirt colors.”

“What do you mean?” Dewy raised his eyebrow.

“Well, Huey ran off to get his ‘brother’ and we haven’t seen him since. Loui ran off to get you and that only took a second. Hardly any time for someone to notify someone else about anything.”

“You think my brothers and I are the same person? That’s racist.”

“What?!”

“Yeesh, princess, didn’t peg you one for stereotyping,” Teddy sarcastically grumbled, “Shame on you.”

“Are you serious?!”

“It’s ok. I’ll forgive you this time. Just don’t mention it again,” Dewy walked away with Teddy.

Twilight fumed for a moment before sighing and catching up to them.

They made it to a library filled with sheets of paper held together by strings. Many pages to the books scattered across the room. Ink spots dotted the walls and ceiling. All attempts at organizing were in vain as the only thing keeping order was a small magazine with the word ‘I-dex’ on it in red paint… or she hoped it was paint. The smell in the room made her wish she was in the tavern.

“I know it’s a mess but I can tell you where every piece of information that’s in this room,” Dewy picked up a roll of paper, “This here paper talks about the recent attack on Ponyvile!”

“WHAT?!” Twilight grabbed the papers and scanned over them several times, “How did you get this?”

“Same as all other news papers,” Dewy deadpanned.

“How do you get news papers,” Twilight glared not enjoying her time with the changeling.

“We get all important papers from Princess. She likes to keep tabs on the ponies she banishes here and offers anyone born and raised here room in Equestria.”

“Sunshine ain’t getting anyone!” Teddy growled, “She causes all our problems, what right does she have to make offers?”

Twilight jumped away from him. She noticed his head twitched. Subtle psychosis, the most dangerous kind. She immediately regrets being Celestia’s student.

“Relax, she’s been turned to stone!”

“HA! Serves her right.”

“So has Luna.”

“Oh… Well… sorry to hear that,” Teddy reeled back with a sad face.

‘huh? Hates Celestia but likes Luna,’ Twilight thought, ‘Wonder why?’

“So… The papers on the Badlands. Where are they?”

“Um…” Dewy looked around, “Take a seat on one of the tables. I’ll see what I can find.”

Twilight deflated, “Ugh! Figures,” she had had it with this insane place. If she couldn’t get out now she was going to loose it!

Comments

[Nightflight406]

Hewy Dewy and Loie see what you did there