4. Explanations and Allusions
“Dinky,” Ditzy Doo said, breaking the silence that had lingered between the two of them for the past hour, ever since her mother had returned to their apartment and gave her mail bags to another pony to finish her route, promising to make up for it later. “What were you doing at Amethyst Star’s?”
Dinky didn’t look up from where she’d been sitting, on the cushions of the living room’s couch, staring at her hooves and trying to figure out what had happened. On the floor was her school bag, still laden with the hundred bits. She did blink a few times at the question, though, unsure how to answer it. Was everything ruined? Her surprise? A year of hard work, gone, just like that? Surely her mother had seen Sparkler scoop up all of the bits and put them in Dinky’s bag…but the question was phrased as though she hadn’t noticed that.
That meant there was still some way to salvage this. Somehow. “I…it was a new store,” she lied. It tasted like bile was filling up her throat and mouth even as she did, but she continued anyway. “I wanted to check it out.”
Dinky didn’t look to her mother. She didn’t have to; she knew that her mother’s wings would be sagging, her face a look of resigned sadness. Ditzy Doo always knew when her daughter was lying to her. Dinky had never lied about something so big before, though, and never in such an outright way. Until now, her worst ‘lie’ was that she was spending the money that Fluttershy was giving her every week on candy or toys, and even then that was technically still true, just not the whole truth, and Ditzy had never questioned it before.
Dinky heard movement, and a few moments later she felt her mother sitting down on the couch next to her, though she seemed almost careful not to touch Dinky. “I have tomorrow off,” Ditzy said. Her mother was forcing her voice to be bright. “We…we should do something. Go to a play, maybe. Or Cloudsdale is nearby this time of year! You’ve always wanted to go, right? I could take you there! We could go to the Cloudiseum and see – ”
“I have school.”
“You could skip it. One day won’t hurt. I’m sure Miss Cheerilee will understand.”
“I can’t fly.”
“I could carry you. I don’t mind – ”
“You knew Sparkler,” Dinky interrupted, as she felt something rising inside of her. It was hot and bright and yet somehow cold and dark at the same time, and Dinky didn’t like it very much, but didn’t stop herself from letting it rise. “You knew Sparkler! How come Sparkler hates you, momma? What happened?”
Dinky spun around to face her mother. Ditzy Doo had recoiled at her daughter’s outburst, wings raised high in surprise. She had previously had only one eye focused on Dinky, the right one, but at Dinky’s outburst both had come into focus. After a few moments of silence, she looked away from her daughter, closing her eyes tightly, wings sagging.
“I…Dinky, I’ll tell you. I swear to Luna, I’ll tell you, tomorrow. Just give me one more day, Dinky. Please. Please.”
Dinky opened her mouth to shout again, but faltered at the state of her mother, who once more looked like she was on the verge of tears. It was all Dinky could do to stop herself from throwing herself at her mother, hugging her and promising her a million more days of not knowing if she’d just wouldn’t cry.
But she didn’t. “But I know something’s wrong, momma,” she said. “If we do go to the Cloudiseum or a play or whatever I won’t be able to have fun, ‘cause I know something’s wrong. And you know something’s wrong too.”
Ditzy Doo closed her eyes. “I…I know,” she said softly. “I know…okay.” She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, focusing herself, though the focus was ruined as soon as she looked to her daughter again. She steeled herself anyway. “This…this has to do with your father.”
Dinky blinked several times at that, eyes widening. Dinky Doo knew, of course, that she had a father, or at least had possessed one at some point. She’d asked her mother about him a few times, but she’d always told Dinky that she’d tell her when she was older. “Does Sparkler know him too?” Dinky asked.
Ditzy nodded. Her wings were twitching slightly in agitation and discomfort, but she pressed on. “Amethyst Star – Sparkler – is the daughter of a unicorn named Castor Cut. And…and so are you.”
The unicorn filly looked down, taking this in. “My father’s name is Castor Cut,” she said. “And…Sparkler…Sparkler’s my sister? But then why – ”
“Half-sister,” Ditzy interrupted. “Castor Cut is your father and Sparkler’s, but I’m not Sparkler’s mother – she’s only a few years younger than me. Sparkler’s mother is named May Bell. Castor Cut’s wife.”
Dinky considered this, trying to fit the pieces together in her head. Her mother was giving her time, at least. It almost felt like a math problem, one where there was something that wasn’t adding up. “But…but why would Sparkler hate you?”
Ditzy Doo looked like somepony was hitting her every time Dinky asked a question. She looked down, away from her daughter again. “When I first met your father,” she explained, “I was barely more than a filly. I mean, I was almost a full-grown mare, in another few months it was going to be my birthday…but I didn’t really act like it. I just went to parties, came home late, didn’t do my homework, I was a superficial, stupid pony.”
“What does superficial mean?”
“Um…shallow. Anyway…when I first met your father, it was at a bar in Fillydelphia. He’d been fighting with his wife and just wanted to relax and unwind, and I was in heat so I also wanted to relax.”
Dinky nodded a little. She’d yet to have what being in heat meant explained to her in detail. All Dinky knew was that every autumn for about a week, her mother would get agitated and moody, and often needed to take time off of work, and alternated between not wanting to be around any stallions, and wanting very much to be around them. She’d had only the bare bones basics of it explained to her – that being in heat meant that her mother’s body was very receptive to becoming pregnant, but nopony would explain to her how that happened yet. Her questions were always answered with a very awkward ‘when you're older’ no matter who she asked.
“So we talked,” Ditzy Doo explained. “We danced, and we…we had fun together. Adult kinds of fun.”
Again with not telling her what that meant. “I don’t get it, momma,” she said flatly. “What’s so bad about that?”
Ditzy bit her lip. “It…it wouldn’t have been so bad, Dinky, if it had just been for a single night, and then forgotten about. Bad, but not so bad. But like I said, Dinky, Castor Cut was married, and…and what we were doing, it’s only supposed to go on between two married ponies, or at least two ponies who are very much in love and who aren’t married to some other ponies, like my friends Lyra and BonBon.”
Dinky thought a moment. “Okay…” she said. She didn’t have a lot to go on – she had frustratingly little, in fact – but she accepted that her mother didn’t want to go into the details of whatever it was Castor Cut and her were doing. Dinky didn’t understand why, though.
“I kept seeing Castor Cut for months, and he kept seeing me. But we had to do it in secret. We didn’t want Castor Cut’s wife finding out, or his daughter. Because, Dinky, he still loved May Bell, he just…hadn’t been getting along with her.”
“So you were helping, then!” Dinky exclaimed. “If you were helping him relax and – ”
Ditzy shook her head. “No. No, I was making things worse. Because rather than talking with May Bell and trying to work through his problems, or else divorcing her because the two just couldn’t get along, he’d just come and see me. It was really the worst possible choice he could have made…but I let him do it. I even encouraged it.”
Dinky stared, uncomprehendingly. Her mother…the kindest, sweetest mare in the whole world, the Element of Kindness – had been acting like that? “Wh…why, momma?” Dinky asked in a small voice.
Ditzy’s lip was trembling. “I…I was selfish. I wanted your father all to myself. But I didn’t want to have to deal with the fallout from him getting a divorce, even though that was not my choice. I thought it was because I loved him, but it was really only because he made me feel good and I was being selfish. It’s not the same thing. But then something unexpected happened. Something that meant that Castor Cut had to choose between either me or his wife.”
“Me,” Dinky surmised.
Ditzy blinked. “Y…yes,” she said, unnerved by her daughter’s leap of logic. “I became pregnant with you…I’d actually been pregnant with you since just shortly after Castor Cut and I had met, but didn’t realize it until about three months later. And…and that’s when Castor Cut told me that we weren’t going to see each other anymore. He had to choose between his wife and daughter, or me and you. He chose his family.”
“But…” Dinky objected to that. She felt tears stinging her eyes. “But…but I’m his family too! Aren’t I?”
Ditzy just looked sad. She didn’t have tears in her eyes, though, as she moved over on the couch, sitting closer to Dinky and putting a wing around her daughter, holding her close. To her infinite relief, Dinky pressed herself tightly against her mother, eyes wide as she tried to understand what her mother was telling her. “Your father,” Ditzy said, “wanted to…to just ignore that he and I had ever been together. Find a reset button and just push it. And I didn’t have the courage to try and stop him…but, well, Dinky, pregnancy isn’t exactly something you can hide. My parents found out, and they found out who gotten me pregnant…the next month or two was just a disaster for me, for Castor Cut…my parents tried to make Castor Cut take responsibility, dragged me to his front door - his wife and his daughter watching the whole thing - and put me in display and were going to bring him to court, but I didn’t want to see him ever again, so I packed up my things and took my savings and moved to Ponyville. I don't know what happened to Castor Cut, but it wouldn't surprise me if he and May Bell got a divorce."
Dinky was staring at her hooves. Tears still stung at her eyes, but she wasn’t really crying…the tears just came and fell as she tried to understand what her mother had explained. “S…so that’s why Sparkler hates you,” Dinky surmised.
Ditzy nodded.
“And…and that means that I’m a mistake. That I shouldn’t of ever been born – ”
“Don’t say that,” Ditzy interrupted fiercely. “Don’t you ever even think that, Dinky Doo. You are not a mistake. You weren’t expected. You were a surprise. But I have never thought of you as a mistake, Dinky, and I never will, and you never should either. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me. You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re hard-working, you’re smart…you’re everything anypony could ever want from a daughter. I don’t deserve you.”
Dinky looked to her mother in disbelief. “Yeah you do!” she exclaimed. “You’re the best momma ever! You work real hard and teach me how to do things and you saved me and everypony else from Corona…”
“Dinky, that’s just what’s expected of mothers. That’s how they’re supposed to act, what they’re supposed to do, for their daughters.”
“Maybe,” Dinky said, wiping away the tears from her eyes. “But you do it better, momma. It doesn’t matter what you used to be like.” She fixed her mother with a pointed stare. “So don’t ever even think that, momma. I learned to be sweet and kind and hard-working and smart from you.”
Ditzy stared at her daughter for a few moments, before her lip began to tremble. She drew Dinky into a tighter hug with her wing, and leaned down, nuzzling her daughter. “Not your smarts,” she insisted. “You didn’t get that from me. Not your father, either. That’s all you, Dinky.”
Dinky began to respond to that, but after a moment decided against it – words would only cheapen the moment, she knew. Instead, she leaned into her mother’s nuzzle, and let silence reign between the two of them.
Internally, however, Dinky felt determination come over her. I need that necklace, she told herself in no uncertain terms. If momma really doesn’t think that she deserves me, I need to show her how much she’s wrong…but Sparkler won’t sell it to me. I need to find some way to trick her into not knowing that she’s selling it to me…
Dinky had to keep herself from reacting as she hit upon an idea. Of course! I know exactly who could help me out! But…but I have to hurry. Dinky glanced at the clock on their living room wall. It was just past three PM. If Sparkler’s jewelry store was anything like every other shop in town, then she’d be closing at five, and Dinky wasn’t sure if she’d have time until her mother’s birthday. She needed to act fast. But…but that meant she’d have to…
Dinky closed her eyes, simultaneously steeling herself and fully thinking through everything she had to say so that she wasn’t making things up on the spot. “Momma?” Dinky asked.
“Yes, muffin?”
“I need to go over to Scootaloo’s house,” Dinky lied. “She needs help with her with homework. We have to write a paper on early Equestrian history.”
Ditzy looked her daughter over, eyeing her. Despite the gravity of their previous conversation, she seemed to switch gears easily. “And?” she asked expectantly.
How does she do that? Dinky asked herself. The lie was ninety percent true and her mother still knew something was up. But that was why Dinky had held back a little. She looked away, feeling some genuine embarrassment. “It’s…um, it’s because in history class today, me and her…we weren’t paying attention. So Miss Cheerilee gave us a paper, and I said I’d meet her at her house.”
The gray pegasus ruffled her wings a little. “Not paying attention in class?” Ditzy asked, her voice full of maternal concern.
“Um…yeah.”
Ditzy Doo sighed, looking to the clock. “Alright. But be back by five. I think we should have dinner together…and plan what to do tomorrow.”
“Okay!” Dinky promised, as she grabbed her school bag telekinetically, then retrieved her winter cape and hat, heading towards the door of their apartment, though not before sparing a moment to plant a firm kiss on her mother’s cheek, lest she start to suspect anything.
Dinky did not like all the lying she’d been having to do recently – surprise or no surprise, it was beginning to weigh on her conscience, and she didn’t like that she was starting to make choices based on trying to sell her lies – most of all to her mother. But it would all be worth it. She was certain of it.
---
If there was one pony she could count on to help her out – one pony who would be able to put on an act of buying a necklace for herself but secretly actually buying it for Dinky Doo, and not let Sparkler know, one pony she could trust to want to help her – then that one pony was the Representative of the Night Court of Luna, Miss Trixie Lulamoon.
Fortunately, Scootaloo’s house and Trixie’s home were in the same direction, so Dinky didn’t need to worry about her mother watching out the window. As Dinky approached the iron fence that surrounded the Residency – only chest-high on an adult pony, but one which towered over the unicorn filly – she took note of the fact that it had been fixed up nicely. After the Longest Night, the Residency had been a complete disaster from ponies who were very mad at Trixie for reasons that Dinky didn’t fully understand, but all the damage seemed to have been repaired, making the place good as new – especially the front window that looked into Trixie’s office, which had needed to be replaced a second time afterwards when the replacement furniture had arrived and somehow a couch had ended up going through it.
Dinky passed through the front gate and felt herself smiling. This would be easy –
The door to the Residency flew open, Trixie dashed out of it, then closed it behind her, horn glowing brightly as a cerulean aura surrounded her door. Something banged into it from the other side, hard.
“That sounded like it hurt,” Trixie noted. She was wearing her hat, but not her cape, and clutched in her telekinetic grip was a book stuffed full of notes written in hurried script.
“BonBon?” a voice, with no owner that Dinky could see, asked. It sounded like Lyra Heartstrings, one of Trixie’s and Ditzy Doo’s friends and the Element of Loyalty, but something was…off…about it. “You okay, sweetie?”
“She’s fine. Earth pony,” Trixie said, glancing straight up as she turned around, and noticed Dinky for the first time. Her eyes widened a little. “Oh! Dinky!” she exclaimed, blinking a few times. There was a notable pause before she added “hi!”
“Hi, Dinky,” Lyra’s disembodied voice added, from next to Trixie.
Dinky stared. “Hi,” she responded, slowly creeping forward and looking to where Trixie kept talking. “Miss Heartstrings?”
“You can just call me Lyra,” the voice said.
Dinky jumped in surprise at the sound of a voice from nowhere. “That’s…it’s really weird talking to nothing…”
Trixie’s brow furrowed at that, and her horn glowed as she waved a hoof. In front of Dinky, Lyra seemed to materialize from nothing, a bright grin on her features.
“My horn is not that short,” Lyra said – without moving her mouth. Dinky looked to Trixie in confusion.
“Illusion,” Trixie explained to the filly, before looking back to the image of Lyra – or rather, some point in space above the image of Lyra. “And yes it is. And we don’t have time to argue right now.”
“Did…did you turn Lyra invisible and now can’t make her not invisible, and only you can see her?” Dinky asked, as she mulled over the information in front of her. “And make her giant, since you keep looking up to talk to her?”
There was a pause, as Trixie looked to her side, and presumably Lyra looked back. “Sure,” Trixie said after a moment. “That’s what happened.”
Dinky eyed Trixie. “No it isn’t,” she objected to the obviously transparent lie.
“No it isn’t,” Trixie echoed, as she began walking towards the front gate, Dinky following and the illusion of Lyra keeping pace, trotting along normally, though her bright grin didn’t move and her movements were exaggerated, more like a puppet moving than a pony. Trixie opened the book in front of her, looking it over. “Look, we’ve narrowed it down to just these three, all we need to do is – ”
“The last ritual took half an hour and it didn’t even do anything!” Lyra exclaimed. “The train leaves in fifteen minutes!” There was a pause. “And my hooves are freezing! Or whatever these things are called!”
Trixie glared at Lyra again – the real Lyra – but then stopped walking and frowned. “I feel I’m forgetting something – ”
Crash.
Dinky turned around at the sound of glass and wood breaking, and saw a cream-colored, blue-and-pink maned earth pony rising from the garden in front of the Residency. Before Dinky could react, BonBon – Lyra’s mare-friend – had cleared the iron gate and landed almost on top of Dinky Doo, a look of pure rage on her face – but a look which was, fortunately, not directed at the filly, instead focused first to her left, then her right, as though she was looking around for prey.
Dinky, for her part, was confused at earth pony confectionist’s actions, though after a moment she saw why the earth pony was looking around rather than taking her anger out on somepony – Trixie and the illusion of Lyra had disappeared.
“Where’d she go?” BonBon demanded. She looked down to Dinky, her gaze softening a little. “Dinky Doo? Sugar? Where did Trixie go? I’ll give you free candy for a month if you tell me.”
Dinky knew that it was wrong to lie. She also knew that it was wrong to be an accessory to murder.
“That way,” she told BonBon, pointing down the street. In a flash, BonBon was off.
Dinky wasn’t surprised when, as soon as BonBon was out of sight, Trixie seemed to bleed back into reality, the invisibility glamor she’d woven over herself falling off of her in a blue mist that quickly dissipated into nothingness. She didn’t re-create the Lyra figment, instead looking to Dinky. “Thanks,” she said. “I owe you, kiddo.”
“She is going to be so mad at me…” Lyra’s voice mourned.
Dinky looked to Trixie. “I…I actually came needing a favor,” she said. “See, there’s this new jewelry store, and I need to get something there today for my momma but my momma can’t know or else – ”
“We don’t have time,” Lyra’s voice interrupted.
The blue unicorn looked to the invisible Lyra, then back to Dinky. “We don’t,” Trixie said, a pained tone to her voice. “I’m sorry, kiddo, I really am, but me and Lyra need to hoof it…leg it…whatever…to the train station. She has a show in Canterlot she can’t miss.”
Dinky stared, wide-eyed. “But…” she objected. “But, I need – ”
“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry,” Trixie said, as she turned and began galloping off towards Ponyville’s train station. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”
Dinky tried to object again, but it was too late, as the unicorn mare was already off, presumably with the invisible, giant Lyra in tow. “But…” Dinky tried, though unlike Trixie, she really was speaking to empty air. “But…what am I supposed to do now…?”
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Looks like we're gonna have five chapters, then.
Aww... poor Dinky and Ditzy. (I do hope that we see what Trixie and Lyra are doing at some point, because it sounds hilarious). I"m also loving that apparently Lyra is human now, and they can't seem to fix it.
Can't wait for the last chapter!
I hope everything gets resolved then! Yeesh, seems like Lyra and Trixie are gonna have one very odd story to tell.
Poor Dinks....seriously, is she the best filly in the world or what?
hopefully a really long chapter. I don't see how one chapter of similar length could solve the problem at hand. Perhaps six?
Also, i just love this story, so the longer the better lol
the shit hit the fan
So is Trixie's house getting destroyed gonna be a running gag?
Very good chapter. I really like your backstory for Ditzy, I can imagine her acting out as a teenager. Looking forward to that story featuring Lyra and Trixie, the glimpses we get are hilarious already.
I'm still not really sure on how this is going to be resolved, lol.
Also, obligatory spelling correction:
weigh on her conscious
I would expect it to make her more guilty than tired, personally.
Look for Raindrops, Dinky, I bet she would be willing to help -- as well as possibly kick some Sparkler flank if need be.
It is wrong to be an accessory to murder. Dinky is so smart =)
Did... did she turn Lyra into a human?! Because that's the mental image I've got and my right eye is doing a Lesson Zero-class twitch.
Also, excellent Ditzy/Dinky. Very heart-melting. And I think Trixie was sincere in her regret, too. Go character development!
Well, at least Ditzy is honest about being a spoiled, horny "teenager" who let her THROBBING BIOLOGICAL URGES do her thinking for her. That counts for something, right? As far as we know, it's more than Castor is capable of.
(I do, though, think that she's wrong about his splitting off with the little missus.)
In any event, her "All My Sins Remembered" hibbety-jibbety is a weakness that's as crippling as her defective vision. Being forced to grow up knocked more than enough sense into her to make her the Element of Kindness. Sure, the Amethyst Stars of this world would feed her need to loathe herself for who she was instead of being proud of what she became but there is only one pony who thinks that she's trash that has to be convinced otherwise: (Hint:
)
Lyra who doesn't want to be a human.
This is new.
And I love it.
The above chapter is the version I finally settled on for how Dinky is going to find out about her relation to Sparkler. I've been bouncing around different ideas for awhile, now, since it's important as it functionally sets the tone for the rest of the story. In addition to the above, I had to other ways planned:
- Carrot Top, Raindrops, and Cheerilee, having heard about what happened, come over to Ditzy's place to make sure she's okay. Dinky has, at this point, gone to bed, but she isn't asleep like her mother thinks. Ditzy explains everything to the three of them, and Dinky overhears it all. This is what we call the angsty version.
- The next day, Dinky goes to Sparkler's again and insists on buying something. Sparkler is as patient as she can be but eventually just snaps and tells Dinky everything. Angrily. This is the RAEG version.
I settled on the one above, though, because it just seemed the most natural way for both the characters to progress.
717389
Well, we'll see.
717363
Eh...to be fair, it's worth pointing out that, while I don't know how long heat actually lasts in horses and ponies, in the MLP fandom it's generally accepted to last for about a week or so. So while Ditzy may have met Castor Cut while in heat, that isn't what kept her with him.
717103
That line has been planned to be included in this fic for months now. I'm glad to finally write it down.
716864
Her window, anyway.
716648
Well, we'll see how things play out.
New chapter, and what a chapter it was. Wow, just wow. Gonna be mixing up minor corrections with a lot of thoughts and opinions here, take of it what you will.
on the cushions of the living room’s couch, string at her hooves
staring
That meant there was still some way to salvage this. Somehow. “I…it was a new store,” she lied. It tasted like bile was filling up her throat and mouth even as she did, but she continued anyway. “I wanted to check it out.”
No problem, I just really like this paragraph. It is so full of hope and emotional conflict, most evocative, made all the more so by Dinky's certainty that her mother will know it to be lie in the following paragraph.
Then there is the way that Ditzy tries to lighten the whole mood, to put off the inevitable discussion she'll have to have, even suggesting Dinky cut class so they can hang out, yet by that point it already seems too late as Dinky is starting to at least partly figure stuff out. To her credit though, the little filly while angry in ways she can't quite understand still feels the need to console her mother. I could write volumes about how this whole first half of the chapter with only mother and daughter made me feel, but it can really all just be summed up as emotional roller-coaster, and I loved every minute of it.
I was a yearling, still.
Personal issue here, but while the is indeed a real term for young equines, it also literally means between 1 and 2 years of age, and as MLPs seem to age more like humans it doesn't seem appropriate. I'd prefer something like, "I was barely more than a filly."
On a similar note, while I'm fine with using the term heat, I'm also leery of specifying an exact time of year that it occurs. Again because MLPs are in some ways as much humans as they are equines. Still, it's only just my personal opinion on the matter, so I won't say you're wrong.
All that said, I just adore watching Dinky trying to puzzle through all the details and consequences of the situation when she barely has a half-working knowledge from which to start. The, "when you're older" excuse is always one of the worst things about being a kid. Then when she finally does have enough to start figuring out why everything is wrong and we get the ever pungent "I’m a mistake", heart breaking, all the more so as Ditzy follows it with what amounts to herself being the mistake and unworthy of Dinky, only for the foal to tell her she's the best, and ... airtight where are my tissues?
Then there was the plan, to bad Trixie's got bigger problems on her plate, can't wait to read that story. Plus this little gem, "She also knew that it was wrong to be an accessory to murder," love it.
“I’m sorry, I so sorry,”
Thinking maybe that second "I" should also be an "I'm"
Anyway, great work. I'd complain that I want more NOW, but I've got the patience and confidence to wait for the epicness that will be the conclusion.
717781
And she explained the what it was too: her being a self-absorbed kid with no real thought of consequences or blowback. Thing is that while she does know about all that now, she treats herself like the mess she used to be. What's more, I'm guessing that she'll let Amethyst Star go right on thinking the worst of her so she can feel good by feeling bad about herself. People who've done something stupid for a selfish reason get like that.
Yay update!
I can't wait for that Lyra story! It's going to be a hoot.
Ditzy and Dinky are such a sweet family.
I hope everything end ups okay in the end. Dinky is the best filly ever. I think she needs to go confront Sparkler herself at this point. Unless she finds Raindrops or Carrot Top in time. I find it funny that Dinky knows Trixie is the best as schemes and lying :p
716864 Well Trixie IS on a first name basis with Windowpane.
Trixie: Out for the count
Lyra: Out for the count
Ditzy: Out for obvious reasons
Raindrops: prolly not a good idea due to honesty.
Go to Cheerilee or Carrot Top!
BAM! Curve ball right in the feels! I had the tryst figured as a one night stand. Threw me off here, but I kinda like the character development Ditzy gets as a result. Poor Sparkler though, once would have been bad enough, but to find out your dad was dating a teenager for three months on the side? Ouch.
To say nothing about how May Bell would have felt.
717794
Mostly I'm going with the Beating the Heat version of a pony's heat, wherein mares have a "time of the year," but it varies from mare to mare (but mares who spend a lot of time together can "sync up"). But there isn't, like, a "mating season" or something.
I had intended "yearling" to be used by ponies to basically refer to teenagers. I dunno, we have a word for kids, and for boys and girls, and for men and women, but nothing for teens.
718898
True, the lack of adequate terminology is a bit depressing. Foal is also kind of abused too, since it probably shouldn't apply to school aged fillies and colts, but at least unlike yearling it doesn't literally describe a specific age range, so from a kind of odd technical stand point foal probably describes a wider age range than yearling would in Equestria.
I suppose we could just use teenager, but much like yearling that has the problem of describing a specific age range, and it might be best to leave the details of how MLPs age compared to their real world counterparts vs humans vague. Could maybe go with the more generic adolescent. Maybe pre-mare/stallion, though that might just sound weird. Not sure there are really any good solutions here.
As for mares having a time-of-the-year, but no specific mating season for all of them, I can be fine with that. Though, I'd probably still prefer it if that was just the most fertile point of their cycle rather than only fertile point. Then again since I'm not really planing on any stories were it would be of any prominent concern, the point is mostly moot.
718898
Ah, I love that story.
heh. Syncing up. I feel sorry for Lyra and Bonbon's neighbors for the week that happens.
I was in a similar situation writing Applejack as Apple Bloom's mother, and I also said Applejack was "barely more than a filly". I think that conveys the teen pregnancy vibe without being weird or creepy. Also, full marks for researching equine pregnancy enough to know that going three months before finding out a mare is pregnant is common.
Ditzy's remorse over the affair is very poignant, and I think she's done a very good job of explaining the situation to Dinky. (Should have done it a long time ago, but oh well.)
720104
Y...yes! Research! That is a thing that I did.
(Truth be told, I just guessed that with an 11-month gestation, it's got to take some time before a mare will visibly show).
For a minute there, I was planning on saying that I would have preferred the RAEG version, but now I agree that this is the best way to handle the explanation. Partially because I don't want to see Sad Dinky any more than is absolutely necessary. I agree with those other commenters from the last chapter, Sad Dinky is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
I gotta say, Dinky and Sparkler's dad sucks. When you have a kids, then no matter the circumstances of their birth, THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU ARE.
He could have showed up every once in awhile, on her birthdays at the very least.
Oh please don't make Sparkler a total nag. I like her.
720307 Even the 11 month gestation is more than some authors manage! Silly authors - nine months is for humans.
The interesting thing is that most of the foal's growth happens in the last 3 months of pregnancy. Before that point, the foal is very small, doesn't change the mare's shape noticeably, and doesn't really impact on the mare's nutritional requirements (in fact, overfeeding is a problem at that stage), nor is the mother particularly unsuited to exercise. It's the last three months where most of the growth happens, and hence the mare needs to eat a lot more and not exercise. Another interesting fact is that foaling rarely takes longer than about half an hour, so agonizingly long waits for expectant fathers just don't happen (unless you're Mr Cake).
I've never used the estrus cycle in my stories - I just assume that mares are about as influenced by their cycles as human women (i.e. not much). In natural horses, though, estrus seems to be a cycle of about one week of being sexually receptive followed by two weeks of being unreceptive, and this three week cycle continues throughout spring and summer. Real horses generally go into anestrus (not ovulating or being sexually receptive) during autumn and winter, but horse breeders can manipulate this by messing with the lights in their stables to make their bodies think that it's spring. Given the amount of artificial light in pony towns, it wouldn't surprise me if ponies are fertile for almost the entire year. I can see some ponies perpetrating an urban legend that "you can't get pregnant in winter", which is about as effective as "I've been counting the days since my period, I totes can't get pregnant!".
In other news, I think it's very sweet that Dinky's primary reaction to finding out that she's the result of Ditzy's teenaged affair with a married stallion is "I need to buy momma a present to show her how awesome she is!" Dinky is best daughter.
720564
My personal take on the MLP ponies is that they *can* get pregnant at any time of the year, but the chances are relatviely low unless the mare is in heat. But most of my "research" comes from a quick browing of Wiki (where I learned the gestation) and "Beating the Heat," which is probably not a reliable source.
We'll just file this under Artistic Liscence - Biology.
I was going to do a little more research, but I was looking around on YouTube for videos of how young foals act and...
...don't do a YouTube search for "foal." If you do, do not watch a video entitled "stallion meets newborn foal." I'm going to spoil it now: it's some wild horses, and there's a newborn foal who's not standing up for some reason despite having been born hours ago, and a rival herd shows up and most of the newborn's herd gives them some distance, including the newborn's dam, and the rival herd's head stallion goes up to the newborn foal, and it looks all cute, and I'm thinking it's going to be this really nice scene of the stallion helping the newborn stand, but nope, the stallion friggin' breaks the newborn's neck by grabbing it with his teeth and shaking it around like a rag doll.
It was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen, especially given that the video offers no warning that it's going to happen, even in the title or description ("stallion meets newborn foal"). This really isn't aided by the fact that I'm, personally, kind of afraid of horses already.
This is especially bad because I'd previously seen this video about a bulldog meeting his puppy daughter for the first time, and that was nothing but cute, so I was expecting a similar thing from friggin' herbivores.
(the video I linked is 100% safe, I promise).
So...yeah, in short: I'm kinda' afraid to look up anything involving ponies and foals right now that isn't an MLP fanfiction and so is, therefore, presumably appropriately labled.
720631
Oh, yeah. That video. Well, herd animals like that tend to do crap like that. It comes from the male need to have all the offspring be his. (This is why carnivores make better parents. They're smarter and better able to make sure of things like that.)
That being said, I should think that since Equestrians can be said to have much the same relationship to horses as we do to baboons and chimps, an adult male would have a vague feeling of being ill-at-ease at being near offspring not related to him buried somewhere in his subconscious. It wouldn't affect how he acted but how he perceived how he acted. The result would then be that on some level he can barely feel or willingly acknowledge, Hypothetical Stallion would be feeling like a big freaking hero for not murdering Hypothetical Filly/Colt.
I nearly put my head through a wall at the words "in heat". Seriously. So pissed off.
you're
718898
Foal = Child
Filly/Colt = Girl/Boy (Can be used ambiguously regarding age list like toward humans)
Mare/Stallion Woman/Man
All age related terms from humans, assuming lifespans are approximately similar, are viable. "Teenaged filly" is a perfectly acceptable term. (Foal colt, adult filly, adult mare, young stallion, etc)
724641
Why?
Not necessarily, since that's based off of the idea that ponies age the same way humans do. They might not. After all, Granny Smith is hundreds of years old.
I'm also referring to teenager as a physical and mental developmental stage, not simply as a block of a person's or pony's life that happens to fall between the numbers 13-19, inclusive.
724711
Because i is o of h 3 things (along with unexplained character corruption and illogical OOC characterization) that pisses me off more than anything any "normal" fic can do.
Because it's stupid. We are primates but because we developed extreme intelligence and the ability to control out own environment, we lost the need for a scheduled breeding urge to ensure species survival.
Also the very fact that one would be able to tell when they are fertile would pretty much make accidental pregnancy impossible.
Also no, teenage refers to being of an age in which the number of years you have been alive ends in "teen". You can use the term to refer to maturity level but it's almost always a blatant metaphor.
724748
We might have the need for it, but we still have it, and we still use it. It's called menstruation. It happens approximately once a month, when an unfertilized egg enters a woman's uterus through one of the fallopian tubes. Other common terms for it are "ovulating," "period," or "that time of the month." Couples attempting to induce pregnancy still use it because anyone with basic level sexual education knows that the woman is more susceptible to conception at the time.
And while the literal definition of teenage is the number of years where the number ends in "teen," most people just use it as a synonym for adolescence.
724748
When most people use "teenager" when talking about us humans, we're talking about that period of life where our hormones get active and puberty is setting in. It is, coincidentally, between the ages of 13-18 that this typically happens (with it, in some cases, starting earlier or ending later).
But take as a counterpoint, for example, cats. The equivalent phase in a cat's life is between 1 and 2 years old. A cat in his teens is actually the equivalent of an old-aged human, since most cats live 12-15 years. You also can't justify it as saying that it's because their lives are shorter, because if you extend out a cat's life by six times (72-90 years, which would be longer than humans typically live), then their equivalent of "teenage" years still happen between the ages of 6-12. Their aging process is completely different from humans: They sexually mature proportionally faster and have a longer "adulthood" before old age starts to set in at a proportionally later point in time.
Now, I don't know that ponies age like normal horses (who are "teenagers" between the ages of 3 and 4, or so, although properly they aren't fully adults 'til age 5), but I do know that I don't feel comfortable making the assumption that they age like humans or like normal horses. So I wish there was some word for a horse between ages 3 and 4.
As for going into heat: You're okay with magical unicorns and pegasi and earth ponies in a magical land of friendship and adventure and okay with them looking like ponies...but you're not okay with them having a pseudo-equine physiology? They should just be humans with a different body shape?
Interesting . . . . Great story too!
Did Sparkler know that Ditzy was living in Ponyville before she moved there herself?
725533
The best indication of pony aging is given by canon. The developmental difference between newborn and 6 month old cake twins, as well as the developmental difference between Fluttershy (who is a year older) and the rest of the mane 6 as foals. They appear to mature at aproximately the same rate as humans.
They have big brains, control their environment to a degree we can only dream, manipulate a comparable level of technology without opposable digits (horn, wing and tail dexterity not withstanding), have hospitals, give birth to infants rather than foals who can run in 10 minutes, practice animal husbandry, enjoy love and marriage rather than a harem society, and are omnivores but practice vegetarianism for the most part by choice. I'm not saying they're pony shaped humans, they're significantly more highly evolved than humans. There is almost NOTHING about them that resembles terrestrial equines other than their shapes.
Besides, the way you define "heat" isn't indicative of equine physiology either. I saw you mention "beating the heat" there, but that should not be considered a positive refernce for a fic like this. That was an erotic comedy, and very random. This is a more serious and believable series, I hope.
And it still doesn't deal with the plot hole that if a mare caan only get pregnant for one week a year, accidental impregnation should be impossible.
It really adds nothing to the plot since you don't need an excuse for a teenager to be stupid and horny, and just adds a level of disempowerment to the species as a whole.
725449
That is a completely irrelevant comparison. We are discussing an estrus cycle, not a menstrural cycle.
727461
I know, It's just that I don't actually care about the whole "how pony biology works" argument. I was just having a knee jerk reaction.
727461
Fluttershy is a year older than Pinkie Pie, but we don't know how old Pinkie is, so knowing that fact is pretty meaningless. As for Pound and Pumpkin Cake, they were one month old, not six.
Sauce and more sauce
The Cakes' babies are much more developed than a human baby of the same age would be. It's usually two to three months before a human baby can even roll over, let alone crawl around.
I didn't say that they could only get pregnant for one week in a year; I just said that mares are very receptive during that one week.
727925
Oh, a month? My mistake there then.
As for Fluttershy I only meant that she appeared about what you would expect someone a year older to appear like in comparison to Pinkie and Dash.
As for the estrus thing, I don't see how having estrus yet being able to concieve out of estrus. Isn't an irreconcillable contradiction. One should negate the other.
Not to be a bother, but after having taken a few moments to reflect on the way the confrontation was seen to play out in Ch5, I can't help but think this excerpt from Ch4 was poorly phrased. It makes it sound like Ditzy's parents confronted Castor after she ran away and that she's only relating information she learned after the fact. Granted it can still be interpreted otherwise, and since it's being spoken by Ditzy herself may be very much colored by her perspective and current emotional state, but I still think the order of events as described here is a little confusing.
I do think the order events were told is probably already in the most effective order to convey the proper emotional tone. Knowing that this is what caused Ditzy to runaway is the more important part, with Castor's fate being appropriate as an afterthought. Maybe for additional clarity though consider changing "well, when my parents confronted him" to "well, before I left, my parents confronted him" or some similar such.
...man, knowing your penchant for dysfunctional half-victory endings so far, I'm expecting this to end in unresolved disaster with Sparkler
I like this character development.
"You are not a mistake. You were a surprise."
That't the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
HURG.
THE FEELS
Dinky is awesome.
Words do not describe how much I want to give Dinky and Ditzy a hug. All the hugs, actually. Because Dinky's just so adorable, and Ditzy's just so sad and guilty, and just all the d'awwwws.
727461 To comment on pretty much the most irrelevant thing you said, I don't think you can really call them omnivores. Unless I'm forgetting something, their diet consists of various plant materials (duh), eggs (but not, I think, on their own, just in baked goods and the like), and dairy (though again I'm not sure if they ever consume it in a way that would imply adults are lactose-tolerant to anything like the levels considered normal in Western society). I'd call them something like ovo-herbivores, and then probably have to define the term repeatedly.
Well... this certainly explains why Ditzy felt like she didn't deserve to become the holder of Kindness...
What I like here is that it doesn't immeaditly go into blaming Ditzy for twhat she had done (Though she is, but that is understandable. I also love that she tells Dinky that she is not and never will be a mistake!) and that it remembers that its the son of a gun's fault too. He was the one that decided to mess around while he was still married and the moment he hears that Dinky is on the way he is like, "Uhhh, got to go!"
Dinky is also suitably adorable, as she is both trying to take this all in and trying to reason it out like a filly.
Smart filly.