My Adventures in Equestria

by ThatDiscordGuy

A Changeling in Direction

As I continued to venture in the Everfree Forest I felt unstoppable. Finally I was in Equestria, finally the universe took pity on me, finally everything is going to be okay, and finally I was off that hell hole of a planet. While this all seemed fan and good, there was still some bad. Wildlife that ranged from Manticores to Timberwolves (surprisingly no normal animals turned up, guess they were with Fluttershy) tried to ruin my fun but they really can't ruin my fun anymore because they're all dead because I'm just that awesome. After a while of relishing in my pure awesomeness I started to notice that this forest looked the same at every turn. I started to rage inside.

Why does this forest look the damn same at every turn? This place is stupid because if I can't figure out where to go with my I.Q of 300, then no one can figure it else. It's impossible and stupid. It's totally the forest who is stupid and not me because I'm usually amazing with directions….

As I continued to walk around in circles and rage at the bizarre, magical, shape shifting, forest that is also stupid I noticed that I walked into an even more eerie section of the Everfree Forest. It was even darker than before even though it was in broad daylight, there were strange noises that kind of sounded like bugs buzzing around and rustling from places that I couldn’t see (awesome eyesight was something I didn’t have), and for some reason I felt and saw green goo everywhere. I started to think again.

Seems legit, this setting reminds me of the time that I had to kill this giant green blob monster that was trying to eat the moon and sun. Of course I stopped it because I’m just that awesome though it was a good battle because the thing actually had me on the ropes but I pulled through and banished it with my dimension warping capabilities. Due to Earth and humanity being a giant asshole to me, I didn’t get rewarded or any recognition.

I was brought out of my pondering time (which I have a lot of) by the noises coming closer. I didn’t really care for these so I continued on in this goo covered forest. Things got even creeper which was odd because I rarely got creped out. I didn’t really think much of this still so I continued. As the noise grew louder and more persistent, I became much faster with my walking. It reached to the point that I was walking at a speed that one may consider speed walking. Finally the noises stopped but from behind me something jumped out and seemed ready to attack.

It was a Changeling. How cool is that?

As I tapped into my inner brony I started to talk to the lone changeling.

“Cool it’s a changeling. How did you get here? How did you catch up to me? Can you change into me so I can how awesome I am because it seems that there are no mirrors around? There are so many things to ask but so little time to get answers because I need to find mai waifu so can you please answer them quickly.” I said excitedly while I was pulling out a piece of paper that had questions that were fit for a changeling on it because who doesn’t?

As I bombarded the changeling with questions, I ignored the fact that it obviously looked ready to attack but who cares because it was a damn changeling. Those things were awesome. The changeling seemed to just stand there, trying to be all intimidating. I noticed this and decided to snap the changeling with my great charisma.

“Awww, the little changeling thinks it can intimidate me. Normally I would take this as a sign to destroy you completely because you are challenging me to a throw down but how can I kill something that is so adorable. You things are the most adorable pony bug things in this world.” I said in a smug voice. The changeling just looked flustered.

With this changeling’s attention caught I decided to ask it the most important question.

“Where is your queen? If you know then take me to your leader for I have an important meeting to attend with her.”

This seemed to alarm the changeling as it lunged towards me. I quickly dodged the speeding changeling missile. When the changeling missed it ran into a tree and knocked itself out. I laughed at this changeling’s fail.

“Is that the best you’ve got? Seriously how did you things almost take over Equestria? Is this a joke of some kind because you’ve sure hit my funny bone?” I said between laughter. This was the point in time that I noticed that I was surrounded by what seems to be hundreds upon hundreds of changelings. I just stared blankly towards them.

“I guess this is how you almost took over. You just did the zerg tactic and decided to just overwhelm Canterlot with thousands upon thousands of expendable units. I just hate that dreaded zergling rush, especially when my friends use it against me. Although I do love zergling rushing my friends cause it pisses them off.” is all I could say.

The changelings just looked at each other blankly, probably wondering what the hell a zergling was. I just sighed.

“Never mind, let’s just get this over with. Challenge accepted I guess. I can take you all on for I am John Smith.” is all I said before the mini changeling army charged towards me but before they charged they made sure to confirm my suspicions that Queen Chrysalis was around.

“DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!” is all they shouted before they initiated combat.

Normally I could just step out of the way and easily dodge their pathetic head-butt attacks but there were so many of them it was hard to avoid one without running into another. This was going to take some amount of skill because I didn’t feel like out right destroying them with my supreme battle powers. So I resorted to just trying to make them hit each other in hopes of knocking themselves out. This worked out before one smart ass changeling decided to transform into me. This angered me inside greatly.

“You think that you can steal my devilishly handsome image without my permission!? Such a crime is punishable by a horrible death at the hand of me you fool!!” is all I yelled before I shot my awesome heat beam at the idiot changeling.

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The changelings in the area could only look in fear as one of their best men was burning alive. After the changeling burned into a crisp the onlookers could only stare at what was now the remains of an ally changeling. The changelings decided that transforming into this thing that called itself John Smith was not the best idea. Unfortunately their run into the enemy with blinding speed was their only option of attack. So they continued on doing so.

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This was starting to get tiring for me. When I thought I was done with the rush, another one came shortly after. They weren’t hard to defeat at all, it’s just that wave after wave it gets kind of tiring and it depletes your stamina after a while. Soon I was becoming overrun by changelings and couldn’t really do anything about. This was exactly like a normal game of StarCraft with my friends.

“DAMN CHANGELINGS, WHY CAN’T I JUST SEE YOUR QUEEN, ARE YOU JUST LIKE THOSE ANNOYING ZERGLINGS THAT WON’T LET ME GET AN EXPANSION!?” is all I could yell before getting swarmed by another wave of changelings.

While all seemed futile I just kept fighting. I had to keep up my name of John Smith so I couldn’t lose, not to a bunch of underlings. That’s just embarrassing. When all seemed lost, something suddenly happened.

“Cease this at once my drones!” boomed an echoing female voice. Was this who I think it was?

Suddenly a giant pillar of green fire came out of nowhere. As the pillar of fire ceased it revealed someone that I was looking forward to see for a while. It was Queen Chrysalis in all her changeling glory. In an instant every changeling in the area stopped and kneeled (or as best as a creature on four legs could kneel) to their queen. Chrysalis just glared down at me.

“Who and what might you be and why are you fighting all my drones?” is all Chrysalis said in a cold voice.

“I’m John Smith and I’m here to see you. Also I’m here to look for an exit so I can get out of this stupid place.” I said with all my confidence coming back full force. Nothing can keep me down.

Chrysalis just kept glaring at me; surely this wasn’t going very well. The next thing Chrysalis said kind of surprised me.

“Very well, follow me.” is all she said as she signaled me to follow along.

As I followed along a single thought came to my head.

I’m not getting out of here anytime soon am I? At least Chrysalis is awesome.

With that I went deeper into what seems to be the changeling’s encampment.

Next Time: The Obligatory Chrysalis Chapter

Comments

[IncoherentOrange]

Lol, *flat what*.

[ThatDiscordGuy]

607632
Exactly.

[ThatDiscordGuy]

Hello. Is this thing on?

[ACTION2234]

Speed walking...I am laughing my ass off.

This is a piece of art.

Please continue this amazing story XD