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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Holy Throne, that was intense!
You really need an editor. Other than that the story's pretty good, just the only part that bugs me is the sheer amount of grammar and spelling issues that are dwelling within this story. Only thing that I hate more than grammar and spelling? Spiders, giant spiders that scream death and horror.
.....i cant tell if the grammar problems from you lacking an editor/proof reader, or from the rat people being utter idiots and not being able to speak properly, making the errors intentional.....
Can you picture Mag's voice sounded like Elder Supreme Kai from Dragonball Z?
8841045
no, not at all.
I got one thing to say, rat people are best people