It was a peaceful morning, which might surprise most ponies who weren't familiar with Manehattan. Just after the sun rose was the best time to find peace and quiet in the city while still enjoying the warmth of the sun. In another hour or so, the streets would be packed with pedestrians and carriages, ponies on their way to work or delivering goods to the various businesses found in this, the most sprawling metropolis in Equestria.
A lone white unicorn sat outside of Good Cup’s Cafe and Bakery, a steaming coffee cooling on the table in front of him. He was sitting with his eyes closed, humming a tune softly to himself while the breeze rustled his leaf-green mane.
The unicorn at the table showed no reaction as another unicorn stallion approached, this one charcoal grey and sporting a white-grey beard. The newcomer bounded up, displaying what some might call an inappropriate amount of enthusiasm for a pony his age.
A grin crossed the charcoal unicorn’s face when he saw that his friend was sitting quietly, apparently unaware of his new company. With a soft orange glow, his magic reached into his saddlebag and took out a neatly folded newspaper, moving it carefully until it was directly over the table. Then, with a smirk, he let his magic wink out.
The white unicorn’s horn flared a deep purple and caught the paper just before it smacked into the table. Purple eyes opened, and the white unicorn sighed.
“‘Morning, Mad Lib.”
“Aww. I thought I had you, that time!” Mad Lib shook his head. “I’ll get you one of these days, BP. And my guess for today is ‘Buttered Pecans’.”
“You’ll have to get up earlier than this, then,” BP said, his smile just a touch smug. “And sorry, that’s nowhere near right.” He moved the paper to one side of the table and gestured at the chair opposite him, which Mad gratefully sunk into.
“Eh, I’ll figure out what your initials mean eventually, BP.” Mad shrugged and grinned. “Of course, that guess may have been influenced by my lack of breakfast so far.”
“Order something, then,” BP said as he returned to his coffee.
“You’ll want to read that paper, BP,” Mad said as he signaled the server with a raised hoof. The mare nodded and began to make her way over.
“Oh?” BP picked the paper up in his magic once again and began reading it. “Anything new?”
“Very much so. Some cub reporter by the name of Typeset actually went to Ponyville.”
That got BP’s attention. “Somepony went there? I thought the Princesses said Ponyville was off-limits to non-local reporters.”
“Not exactly,” Mad said to BP. Then, to the server, he said, “Coffee, three sugars and no cream, okay? And… do you have any fresh crullers?”
“We sure do!” the mare said.
“I’ll have a couple of those, then. Thank you kindly.” Mad looked back around at his friend in time to see that BP had a look of irritation on his face. “What?”
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”
“They didn’t forbid us, so much as just ‘asked nicely’.” Mad shrugged. “It’s most clear Celestia just wants the Element Bearers to live as peaceful a life as possible.” He chuckled. “You know, outside of the occasional world-ending threat. But it’s not like they’re going to chuck us into prison if we go to Ponyville for news. Well, maybe you, but not the rest of us, hah. Oh, thank you, Miss.” The returning server put a cup of coffee down in front of him, along with a plate holding his crullers.
The mare smiled. “Anything else I can get you two?” When the two stallions indicated that they were fine, she nodded and added, “Just flag me down if you need anything,” before trotting off.
“What a sweet mare,” Mad said, watching as she left.
“And half your age, you old goat,” BP pointed out distractedly as he read the front page story. A few minutes later, he grunted and pushed the paper away. “Sunflower, eh? That’s the human.”
“What human?” a third voice asked.
The newcomer was a tan unicorn with a teal mane and ready smile. He trotted up to the table and helped himself to one of the two remaining empty chairs.
“Hey, Spotty,” BP said at the same time Mad said, “Hiya, Tomes.”
“Hey, BP,” Spotty Tomes said. “Hey, Mad. I see you still haven’t decided to chop off that ridiculous muzzle-moss.”
“It keeps my chin warm,” Mad said defensively. He waggled his eyebrows and added, “Also, it’s devilishly handsome. In any case, we were just talking about a news report from Ponyville. Apparently, some young cub reporter decided to go check out the rumor that a certain human-turned-pony was living there again.”
“Oh, wow!” Spotty leaned over, trying to see the paper next to BP’s forehooves. “Is she?”
“Indeed. And apparently she’s got wings and a horn, this time.” Mad snorted and flicked his tail. “Though, everypony there is quick to say that she’s not a real alicorn. More human trickery.”
“Well, that makes sense,” BP said, passing the paper over to Spotty Tomes. “I don’t know all the specifics of what is and is not an alicorn, but I doubt you could just build one in a lab. A human lab, at that.”
Mad stared off. “How can you be sure, though?” he asked.
BP shrugged. “I can’t. Just a gut feeling.”
“Well put, sir. Very scientific, as you would no doubt say,” Mad replied, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, just because I’m a science reporter doesn’t mean I can’t have gut feelings,” BP nodded at his cutie mark, an Erlenmeyer flask crossed with a quill. “My intuition didn’t turn off when I got my mark.”
Before Mad could reply again, the fourth member of their little group trotted up. This one was an earth pony, a rich brown in color, with a scruffy grey mane and tail. His grey-tinged muzzle made him look older than he was, though that was just a product of his distant Trottingham ancestry.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?” the newcomer asked as he sat down in the last unoccupied chair. “Mad, did you know that you still have a wild animal attached to your face?”
“I don’t think his face-squirrel is wild anymore,” Spotty smirked.
“Does my beard really look tame to you?,” Mad asked with an exaggerated grimace that morphed into a smirk of his own. “We were just talking about the human in Ponyville, Mr. Fix.”
“Humans, huh?” Simple Fix grinned. “Fascinating creatures. I can’t wait to get my hooves on some of their technology!”
“So you can break it?” Spotty Tomes asked, giving the earth pony a good-natured elbow to the ribs.
“Hey, I fix whatever I take apart!” Simple Fix said, glancing at his cutie mark of three interlocking gears. “Though, granted, not always to its original function.”
While this was going on, BP had taken the paper back. “Look at this nonsense, though. I mean, kudos to this Typeset fellow for having the guts to go to Ponyville as a reporter, but what’s with talking to everypony but Sunflower? I mean, it’s great to know what the average pony thinks of her, but why not do a complete job by actually talking to her?”
“Maybe something happened that stopped him,” Spotty said with a shrug. “I wonder why the local reporters won’t talk about her, either.”
“I suspect the subtle hoof of one or more princesses,” BP replied.
“Can I read the story?” Simple Fix asked. “Thanks,” he added as BP set the paper in front of him.
For the next half hour, the four friends talked and passed the time. Their server made several more appearances, clearing away empty cups and bringing out fresh ones. The topics of discussion ranged all over, though they always seemed to end up touching back on the humans in some way.
For example, the separatists on Starfall Island were making waves again, campaigning to shut down contact with humans. It was a campaign that was gaining some ground, though mostly among the older ponies who disliked change.
Still, if there was one thing the four of them agreed on, it was that any real and in-depth reporting on humanity was distressingly absent.
“It’s all fluff pieces,” BP complained. “I want to know more about their technology.”
“Yeah, no kidding!” Simple Fix said.
“I’d like to know more about their literature,” Spotty Tomes said. He chuckled and indicated his mark, a spotted tome. “It’s my special talent to put together all sorts of different information, after all. I hope she brought many human books.”
“Hm… Maybe we should start up our own publication?” Mad suggested.
“Ha! That’s a good one!” Simple Fix’s smile faded after a few seconds. “You aren't kidding.”
“Not at all! Of course I want to write about the humans!” Mad grinned and flung out his forehoof dramatically. “Think about it. Humans in Equestria… and beyond!”
“Watch it, you goof!” Spotty Tomes said, ducking the out-flung hoof.
“Seriously now.” Mad stood up, placing his forehooves on the table. “Surely you’ve been dreaming about something like this since college! We’re always talking about getting back together and working on some big project. Can you think of anything bigger than this? The field is open, we’d be one of the few groups actually working on it!”
“Huh,” BP said, rubbing a hoof along his jaw. “Reporting on humans, both in and out of Equestria. I’d work the science angle, I’d suppose?”
“Yeah!” Simple Fix’s eyes lit up as his ears perked up. “You take the high-science stuff that the eggheads like, I take all the gadgets and appliances that the common pony is interested in!”
“I could work on their media,” Spotty Tomes said, warming up to the idea.
“And I’ll… uh… I suppose I’ll do everything else?” Mad said, then shrugged. “We’ll need somepony to cover the magic angle, at least. Maybe we need more reporters and staff.”
“We do,” BP said, nodding. “Probably some editors, too.” He snorted at that. “Unless you want to try editing each others’ articles and stories again?”
“Ugh, no thanks!” Spotty Tomes said, shuddering. “That didn’t work out so well, last time.”
“Took me a week to get the smell of wood smoke out of my mane,” Simple Fix added.
“Well, we are missing the fifth member of our little club,” Mad pointed out. “Sure, he moved all the way to Las Pegasus, but he might be willing to come back for this.”
“Hmm…” BP thought about it before nodding. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try to contact him and see if he’s in. He’s a damned fine editor.”
“So, what do we call ourselves?” Simple Fix asked. The others looked at him and he shrugged. “Hey, it’s a fair question.”
“Well, how about… Human Investigators?” Spotty grimaced as he probed the name.
“What about ‘The Earth Post’?” BP suggested.
“‘News of Two Worlds’?” was Mad’s contribution.
“‘Harmonics Journal’?” Simple Fix added.
“Happy Fun Time With Humans!” The other three stared at Mad Lib. “What?”
“How about ‘The Crossworlds Journal’?” Spotty Tomes suggested.
“Sounds too much like ‘crosswords’, but you may be onto something there,” BP said. “I like ‘Journal’, makes it sound like we’re serious about what we’re doing.”
“Maybe we can do something that relates to humans specifically?” Mad Lib suggested.
“That would be a good idea,” Spotty Tomes said. “Like what?”
“Well… Uh…” Mad Lib considered something. “They’re bipeds? They wear clothes all the time?”
“Neither of those seem like a good idea for a title,” Simple Fix said with a shrug. “Besides, I think we need to have something that has humans and ponies together.”
“Humans have hands, and ponies have hooves,” their waitress said as she refilled their various coffees and teas. “How about ‘Hoofinhand Journal’?”
The four friends looked at each other, startled, before the chuckle started up. Four cups raised in unison, three lifted by magic and one by hoof, in a spontaneous toast.
“The Hoofinhand Journal!” they said together.
This was a little something I whipped up as a "thank you" to my editors. In order of appearance, they are:
BP - Brilliant Point
Mad Lib - Merlos the Mad
Spotty Tomes - Ekevoo
Simple Fix - Ludicrous Lycan
Coandco helped edit, but declined to have an OC in this story.
These guys have been an amazing team of editors! They've stuck with me even through my recent writing drought, and I can't thank them enough.
off
ha ha
6041448
Thanks, fixed!
I've always wondered about Manehattan. It's the Equestrian city most out of sync with the rest of Equestria. Perhaps it's an "experimental city"? Or maybe, Manehattan is the city organization ponies are gravitating towards, but the Princesses are (subtly) holding the rest of the nation in check?
Eh. I like 'Happy Fun Time With Humans' better.
I feel like I'm missing something with the Hoofinhand Journal...
6041892 Agreed. It sounds like a pun, but I can't tell what...
6042160 6041892 I'll help with some hyphens: "The Hoof-in-hand Journal". You know, like a handshake?
At least, that's what I got from it.
6040592
Gee, I was half expecting BP to be Boron Phosphide, with his name being hidden in plain sight.
6042321
Also, "hand-in-hand" is a phrase used occasionally to indicate holding hands, as in "They walked down the street hand-in-hand."
YOu know, three interlocking gears would jam if you tried to turn them....
This won't end well...
In a diner, guessing initials. I see you there, Bebop reference.
6042841
Not necessarily. "Three interlocking gears" could just mean a three-gear train as in this illustration.
I think I preferred ‘The Crossworlds Journal’ to what they ended up deciding on. Feels more serious and less cutesy.
6042841
That's disturbingly appropriate for this guy.
6045489
Serious? This is Equestria!!!
(I'm only slightly ashamed.)
Hmm this is a promising idea Hoopy, good luck
I thought BP stood for British Petroleum.
6040592 Aw, now I'm blushing. :twilight smile:
With all the shenanigans during editing you have more than enough material for the guessing game.
These four strike me as the Beta generation of the CMC. Be afraid. Be very afraid...
6041643
Or perhaps the inverse: Celestia's little pet project to accelerate the technological development of the nation.
6055400 The first thing that came to mind when I read the initials was "British Petroleum."
A nice fun little side-story.
They are definitely a unique set of characters you have got there.
Also interesting to see an outsiders take on what is going on in-universe.
Brilliant Point sounds better because it's not as overly specific as Bernoulli's Principle (or Berneighli Principle), let alone Bessemer Process (can't think of a pony pun offhand), but I'm still disappointed that my guesses were wrong.
Its as beautiful as the first time i pre-read it! Still love Simple Fix, as well. Im awful sad i missed the release, but this reminds me I had a hand in a great story. Thanks again, Hoopy. I hope to return to writing very soon. And with that, pre reading and editing.
I would read that paper. Then I would set up a conspiracy board
BP = Best Pony.
“Hey, just because I’m a science reporter doesn’t mean I can’t have gut feelings,” BP nodded at his cutie mark,
Shouldn't it be a period after feelings? ^^;
“Does my beard really look tame to you?,” Mad asked
remove comma
6040592 Cool! Will we be seeing them again?
Okay, might as well check these out as they happen in story. So, that title... seeing things from the reporters POV? His article?
Given he was from Canterlot, guessing no. So, Pony editorial on the whole 'Human' thing?
Oh, so it is about the article, just from a rather unexpected direction. Kind of neat, get an idea what some random ponies in Equestria think.
Huh... that would explain the lack of so many of them given all the events that should have been big news. Now, was this before or after the whole Sunflower thing? Due to that, or just standing orders ever since NMM to keep the Mane 6 from being swamped by them? Also, if she forgot to rescind that order... would explain why so few ponies seemed to realize there was a new Princess in Season 4.
Ah, so it was for the Mane 6's and not Sunflower's sake.
..... That is a really awesome name for beards on ponies......
Okay, so guessing we got somepony not to happy about Humans. Also, is it really 'trickery' if they come right out and say "this isn't really what it looks like" up front?
He's still not sure how he turned that toaster into a high power bread launcher able to stun a pony at 500 yards with some heavy rye loaded into it. And unable to toast at all.
Well can you really blame them? Though, maybe setting her up for a sit down with one or two of the more reputable, discreet, yet respected pony journalists could do some good.
you know, I kind of liked how that resolved. Them parting way and going to seclude themselves, but amicably. Of course they had to not leave it at that... even though there is no longer going to be a mass migration.
"Back in my day, we had to gallop to school 15 miles through the snow, uphill both ways!" "I don't care much for these new fangled wheels. Back in my day we were happy to have skids on our carts!" And other required old grumpy conservative jokes.
See this... I'd say this is a valid concern and really is something that The Princesses should address. And no not JUST so I can get more stuff on humans from the pony POV or anything. I mean sure, that too, but not just that.
TO INFINITY!
Well, you might want to save that one for... certain other types of periodicals.
I like it!
That was sweet, it's great to see ponies interested i Humans, that the biggest issue is really simply they need to learn more, give the common pony outside of Canterlot a chance to get to know them. And, wanting to work to bring the two sides together. Just... yeah this is awesome. (per normal) So yes sweet little side bit.
Five males, lame~
Hoofinhand sounds distressingly like Hoof-in-mouth disease