Pinkie Pie and The Quest for Missing Smiles

by Venates

The Exchange

"Throw in another fire pepper, and you've got yourself a deal!"

"You got it, mister!"

Although the map drawn for her by the friendly swamp ponies was a very generous gift, Pinkie needed one a bit more detailed for her to complete her quest. Lucky for her, she came across a cartographer with an affinity for swamp pony culture, and was willing to part with one of his charts for a few relics from a settlement that's difficult for most ponies to get to. Pinkie had been saving her fire peppers for a midday snack, but after getting lost once already, she knew the importance of being able to find her way to her destination — and her way home.

Pinkie Pie hoofed her new furled parchment to Gummy, who promptly found a place for it in one of her packs.

The pair hit quite the fortune when their path intersected with Rainbow Falls and its once-a-year Traders Exchange. Stalls and booths with all sorts of goods available for trade were lined up from one side of the village to the other. After half of their supplies disintegrated in the fires of the swamp, a place to restock and refuel was exactly what Pinkie and her companion needed.

"Wow, look at it all, Gummy!" marveled Pinkie. "I don't think I ever noticed just how much stuff there was at these things!"

Pinkie skipped back and forth between stalls, and although she started by looking for things that would be useful on their journey, it soon turned into a form of window shopping. While a dealer showed her the inner mechanisms of his own party cannon, Pinkie reached for her water tube, only to find an unfortunate surprise.

"Huh?"

She pulled the tube where should could see it better. It felt damp in her hoof, and pulling the lid off the top showed that there wasn't a drop of water inside of it. As she tried to put the lid back on, the cardboard crumpled from the pressure.

"I don't think this tube was meant to carry water for long, Gummy," said Pinkie as she replaced the item in a pack. "Paper snakes aren't wet after all."

Gummy gnawed at a strand of Pinkie's mane.

"You're right, Gummy," Pinkie conceded, "I have been distracted since we got here. Maybe we can see if a pony is selling a bottle that we can use."

Pinkie walked around the exchange for several minutes, but to her surprise, not one was selling food or water. Or rather, trading food or water. Was it because ponies didn't want something that would only last a few days?

The adventuring duo eventually came across an exotic animal booth, and, to Pinkie's relief, they had a bottle prominently on display. She rushed over to it only to be disappointed; at the bottom of the container hopped a strangely-colored cricket.

"Can only be found in the Badlands!" the dealer told her. "Very hard to come by, but make excellent pets for richer ponies with less time to take care of a more maintenance-heavy animal."

Pinkie put on a hesitant smile. "Um... well, we're only really interested in the bottle. Would you trade something for it?"

The stallion shook his head. "I don't have anything else to hold the critter, and I'm not about to let this one hop away. Almost lost my eyebrows to a dragon for it, I did."

Pinkie sighed. "Thanks anyway," she told him before slumping away from the stand. She only walked a few paces before perking up. "Wait!" She pulled Gummy from her back to speak to him directly. "Gummy, wouldn't that make a great gift for Fluttershy?"

Gummy blinked.

"A really rare animal! I bet she would love it!" Pinkie turned around to talk to the animal dealer again when a familiar blue and yellow outfit caught her eye.

"Ooh!" Pinkie trotted over to another stand. "That's an actual Wonderbolt uniform from before I was even born! Can you imagine how happy Rainbow Dash would be if we brought this to her?"

Pinkie Pie hopped as ideas came flooding to her. "We could get gifts for all of our friends, Gummy!" Pinkie bolted between various stands. "We could get this sleep aid pillow for Twilight and her stress-y nights!" At another booth: "And this antique sewing kit for Rarity! Gummy, can you imagine how happy they'd all be?" Pinkie Pie went into a full gallop with her head on a swivel. "If we can find something for Applejack too, then—"

The pink mare skidded to a halt. She shook her head and caught her breath. "That won't work, Gummy," Pinkie explained. "I can't just give my friends gifts to make them happy again. And even if it did work, I'd have to get gifts for the whole town! No way we have enough to trade for something like that."

Pinkie Pie sighed and resumed a slow walk. Her mind reeled as she tried to think something that could work. Her thoughts rolled back onto the raincloud.

"What if we just asked the cloud to return my friends' happiness?" asked Pinkie. "Surely he would understand."

Gummy nibbled on his tail. Pinkie nodded. "You're right, Gummy, but what if he does still have the town's happiness?" She then passed by a florist with several colorful arrangements.

"What if we got a flower?" she pitched to Gummy. "Not for the whole town, obviously, but what if we gave the raincloud a new flower to be his friend? Do you think he'd give us the Joyflower?" Pinkie walked several paces, waiting for Gummy to end his silence. "You're right, Gummy," replied Pinkie, "if a pony tried to give me another alligator so they could have you, I wouldn't do it either."

They walked past two mischievous colts using feathers to pester an older patron.

"What if we got the cloud something else he could use?" pondered Pinkie. "If he can take happiness away, maybe we could convince him to take sadness instead. Would the Joyflower like sadness?"

Gummy sneezed.

"Okay, but what about water? Don't all plants need water?"

Gummy gurgled.

Pinkie Pie sighed. "You're right, Gummy. We can't even find water for ourselves right now."

A flash of light blinded Pinkie for a moment. She rubbed her eye, then turned to see where the light came from. A gruff-looking crystal stallion stood at a counter, and in the tent behind him sat ropes, hooks, winter clothes, lanterns, and a plethora of other survival and adventuring goods.

"Maybe he has some stuff we can use, Gummy!"

Pinkie trotted over to the crystal pony, making mental notes on how each of the items behind him could benefit her journey.

"Hello, my good sir!" greeted Pinkie Pie, "I am in the market for some adventuring stuff, and you look like the pony to talk to!"

The crystal stallion chortled. His voice matched his gruff exterior, but couldn't hide a soft heart. "Indeed I am adventurer, small pink one. What goods catch interest?"

Pinkie Pie pulled out the soggy tube from her pack. "We need a new water bottle," she told the stallion. "Do you have anything like that?"

"Water bottle?" the stallion repeated. "Bottle is too soft for adventure." He pulled a shiny silver flask from under the counter top. "You want solid steel canteen. Will not leak, will not break. Is what you need, yeah?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie chimed. "Is there water in it right now?"

"No, ponies usually ask for goods empty," the crystal pony told her. "Fountain is north of here. Canteen can be filled there."

Pinkie Pie grinned and pulled the canteen closer to get a better look. When it stopped catching her interest, she peered behind the vendor at some of the other wares. "What about that stuff?" she asked. "That coat looks really warm."

"Like large animal's insides," the stallion told her. Pinkie flinched. "Is much warmer than what most pony need though. Where do you travel, small one?"

"We're going to Mount Neverquest!" exclaimed Pinkie. She got out her new map to help illustrate her path. "It's way up past the Crystal Empire, right in the—"

The stallion put a hoof over the map. "Am familiar," he said, unsmilingly. "This mountain... is not safe. Why must you go there?"

Pinkie Pie pulled the map from under the stallion's hoof and chose her words carefully while she rolled it back up. "My friends are sick," she explained, "and I think the only thing that can make them better is on the mountain."

"Is suicide mission," the stallion uttered. "Should go be with friends, not chasing fantasy."

Pinkie Pie lowered her eyebrows. "It's not fantasy." She placed Gummy at her hooves, then pulled the packs from her back and dumped their contents onto the counter between her and the vendor. Streamers littered the grass, bouncing balls went every which way, a kitchen-sized oven left a sizable dent in the counter's surface, and several others things that only Pinkie Pie would think to take on a journey piled up around them. "I will trade you all of this for all of that," Pinkie said, pointing behind the stallion. Her tone was uncharacteristically severe.

The stallion looked at her vast assortment in shock, then sighed. "I have no need for these things," he told her. His voice sounded more regretful than anything. "And this does not change that you should not go to this mountain."

Pinkie Pie glared. She packed a home's worth of belongings faster than what most ponies would think possible. "I'm going," she insisted, "and if you won't trade with me, then maybe another pony will. Come on, Gummy." Pinkie scooped up her scaly companion and turned away from the booth.

"Wait!" Pinkie stopped and shot an ugly look over her shoulder. The stallion clopped two of his crystal hooves together while he thought. "You are..." He gulped. "You are going to mountain, even without gear, no?"

Pinkie Pie turned to face him completely. "Yes."

The stallion sighed. He looked at the ground for several seconds before speaking. "I will trade with you."

"REALLY?" Pinkie made sure that no matter how fast the stallion raised his head, her grin would be the first thing he saw. It was, but the sight caused him to back up a few paces. He collected himself and nodded.

"Oh, THANK YOU!" Pinkie firmly grasped one of the vendor's hooves and shook it vigorously. When she stopped, she asked him, "What made you change your mind?"

The stallion attempted to regain feeling in his foreleg while he spoke. "You have strong spirit," he told her. "I respect strong spirit. I do not think you should go, but you will be safer with equipment, and there are no other traders here. I do not want you unprepared." After testing some weight on his hoof, he re-approached the counter. He leaned in and motioned for Pinkie to do the same. When she did, he said in a low tone, "Also, my travels mean I am not home often. My kids... they do not see me much. Your goods may make them happy. Happier than if I came with just me."

Pinkie Pie leaned back and smiled. She stuck out her hoof, and the stallion hesitated before taking it a second time. The second shake was much gentler than the first. "Making ponies happy is what I do," Pinkie told him.

The stallion showed a sad smile. "Then these tools are yours. I teach you to use them, yes?"

Pinkie Pie nodded with gusto.

A few quick tutorials later, Pinkie Pie left the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange with considerably different gear than when she entered it. As she walked, a long mountain range loomed in the distance.

"You know," Pinkie said to Gummy contemplatively, "if he really isn't home all that often, then I bet he doesn't need to bring his kids gifts. I bet they'll be happy just to see him."

Gummy hiccuped and Pinkie shrugged in response.

"Just a thought."

Comments

[Swashbucklist]

And even if it did work, I'd have to get gifts for the whole town!

Pfft! That's usually the sardonic response I get from jackasses who hate Spike when I express a desire to see him counted among his own goddamn friends...something this fanfic--according to a ctrl+F search--refuses to do. "Sure, I'll put Spike in this picture/fanfic/song! And while I'm at it, I'll also include Derpy, Big Mac, the CMC, the Cakes, the entire population of Griffonstone, King Sombra..."