Harpflank and Sweets: Forced Introspection

by Arcainum

Fever Dreams: Commander Derpy Hooves

The smoke obscured her vision, stinging her eyes as she stumbled through the wreckage. The acrid smell almost blanked her mind as she gasped the cloying dust into and out of her lungs, caking her tongue in dirt. The heat tore at her, searing her coat a speckled black. The roar of the flames and the crackling of burning wood blocked out all sound. All but the screams.

She forced herself to keep walking, blind and almost deaf, through the devastation. Her mind raced.

It had happened again. How could this happen again? The time between dragon migrations was measured in centuries! But this had happened twice.

Twice.

A roar from above sent her cowering to the ground, throwing her hooves over her head in a desperate mockery of protection. Morbid curiosity drew her eye upwards, and what she saw sent a chill through her that all but dispelled the seething pain of the fire.

Hundreds of dragons, a rainbow of scales, all flying north in an unbroken line. The few that had swooped down to casually burn everything she held dear had returned to the flock and the multitude was moving on, continuing their natural pilgrimage. But the dragons were not what held her gaze, what filled her with rage and sorrow and loathing and fear and dreadful determination.

The black shadow of a chariot, silhouetted against the moon. A pair of mighty wings, spread wide in sadistic glee. A head thrown back in laughter, the sound deadened by the dragons’ roars and the raging flames. A flowing mane...

A mane filled with stars.

A strength filled her bones, a strength she thought had been burnt away. She stood, oblivious to the pain that shot through every inch of her. From the midst of the death and the destruction and the senseless waste of life, she stared into the sky and silently swore to the tyrant in the sky.

“Never again.”

~

The sinuous creature wiped his brow in mock exhaustion.

“Oh my, heavy stuff. I didn’t even have to make that one up!”

Derpy glared at him, a visible tension in her defensive stance, and spoke in a low, calm voice.

“You must be Discord.”

The target of her aggression bowed theatrically then raised an eyebrow.

“Wait, that’s it? ‘You must be Discord?’” He frowned. “Maybe something a little closer to the heart.”

He snapped his claws and suddenly

~

“Carrot, please.”

The orange-maned mare sitting opposite her shook her head firmly.

“No, Ditz. This is wrong. What you’re doing is wrong.”

Her heart sank even as her conviction strengthened.

“It’s not wrong! It’s what the city needs! The Princess has agreed, Carrot! The Princess! What more do you need?”

Carrot Top’s expression softened. She gently placed her hoof against Derpy’s, a loving hoof-bump, recreating the gesture she had used to made her feelings clear scant years ago. Derpy almost pulled away, but relented, taking comfort in the small pressure.

“I need Derpy Hooves. The pony who helped me tend the garden, and blew bubbles in the sky. Not the pony that came flying out of the fire, full of vengeance.”

At the word “vengeance,” Derpy slammed her hoof on the table and leapt from her chair onto all fours, wings raised in anger.

“What’s wrong with vengeance?! Luna destroyed our home twice! Twice! And she wants to do the same to the entire city! To millions of ponies! Who will stop her if we don’t?”

Carrot stood up too, standing strong against her partner’s ire.

“The ponies who are meant to.”

Derpy scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, the police force? Yes, because we’ve seen how good a job they-”

“If you have a problem with the MPD, you have a problem with me.”

Derpy stopped as if she’d been slapped in the face, blinking in shock.

“You... you already joined?”

Carrot met her gaze, steady as a rock.

“I already joined.”

Derpy’s face collapsed, all the anger and resolve draining from her.

“But... M.A.R.E. needs you. I need you.”

~

“Ouch.” Discord cringed as the memory faded, fanning himself like an offended noble. “I’d go on, but... well, we both know how that little discussion ended.”

Derpy herself had fallen to haunches as the memory overtook her. She looked up at Discord and cocked her head questioningly.

“So, you’re the one Lyra and Bon-Bon saw after they ‘ported into the sun? They were right, you do feel dangerous.”

Discord slicked his mane back with his paw and grinned.

“Well, yes, I do have a certain je ne sai-Hey! You’re supposed to crying, not asking questions! One more!”

He snapped his claws again, irritably, and

~

“They what?”

Vinyl flinched. The Commander was angrier than she had ever seen her. There was a fire in her friend and leader that Vinyl had never seen before.

“The public... hate us. Pretty much every media source is running polls and... well, M.A.R.E. ain’t looking good in any of them.”

She flinched again as Derpy beat her wings in frustration, flinging paper and crumbs around the room. The pegasus hovered above her desk, quivering with rage.

“How?! How can they hate us?! After all the good we’ve done for this city! Luna would’ve destroyed these ponies’ lives a thousand times over if we hadn’t been there, and the moment they realise what we’ve done, they resent us?”

“Commander... Derpy, I really don’t think you should be-”

“After all these years!”

Derpy closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, trying desperately to find a way to vent her impossible fury. In one fluid motion, she span in the air and planted a hoof in the metal partition that hid her rifle, Bubbles from the office proper. Her kick tore the metal like paper. Vinyl stepped back, terrified despite being used to Lyra and Bon-Bon’s prodigious strength.

“Derpy, seriously, I think you should calm do-”

Derpy whirled to face her, and the look in her eyes sent shivers down Vinyl’s spine. This wasn’t just a response to public opinion. There was something deeper, some far-off ache in her friend’s gaze that she couldn’t possibly understand. Derpy spoke through clenched teeth.

“Please. Vinyl. Just go. I’ll be... fine.”

Vinyl nodded. Despite the fear that whispered at the back of her mind, she had faith in her commander. If Derpy said that she didn’t need her help, she was willing to believe her. She left the room, glancing back as the door hissed closed.

Derpy was left alone in her office. She slowly alighted, breathing deeply as she settled back into her chair. She sat in silence, staring at the picture on her desk, a picture of a grey pegasus and an orange-maned earth pony making faces. Minutes passed. A thousand memories flowed as one through her mind, images of fire and stars and battles and nights together and nights alone and victories and... and failures.

Very slowly, she reached over and faced the picture down.

“I’m not wrong, Carrot. They’ll see. I’m not wrong.”

~

“Ooh, such resolve!”

Discord faded into view, and Derpy gasped as he released his grasp on her mind. Looking smug, he floated closer in the silence of the void.

“So? Anything? I mean, look at you. You failed to protect your home, your mare left you, the public don’t appreciate your work... Even your subordinates are scared of you! Everything you’ve ever loved, you’ve lost. Everything you’ve ever believed, you’ve gotten wrong. How do you carry on?”

Derpy stared at the her hooves, silent. Discord’s body twisted, sticking his head into her eyeline. She met his gaze as his face assumed an expression of deepest concern.

“Maybe it’s best if... you don’t.”

Comments

[Puzzle Reader]

Derpy Hooves is a boss. Literally and figuratively. I mean, holding out for this long is what made Fluttershy so even-more-awesome-than-she-already-was in the Discord episodes I can't remember the name of.

[PresentPerfect]

rare to see such a solid rundown of a character as this