Contact

by DATA_EXPUNGED

Dawn: Debriefings Part 1

Sol system, Equus high orbit
July 23rd, 1173 a.n.m.

Dawn Wing sat. He’d been sitting for quite some time, and, the way he saw it, he’d be sitting for a good deal more. The room in which he had been consigned to languish was bare except for a table, a pair of chairs, and a tiny viewport; its walls, floor and ceiling were painted a warm beige. The viewport faced the planet below and provided a, assuming Dawn could dredge up the willpower to care, spectacular view of the mother world.

Just as the dull purple pegasus had decided that a nap would be the best use of his time, the door, a sliding automatic, hissed open, admitting a rather unassuming, at first glance, unicorn mare. That impression changed completely the moment she stepped in the room.

She wore a plain, dark blue jacket without insignia of any kind, save for the eclipsing sun and moon of the government, and carried in her aura a stack of files nearly as tall as she was. Her step was measured, confident, and every facet of her being radiated authority.

Dawn felt himself straightening reflexively, his Guard training kicking in. His prosthetic gave off a quiet whir as the servos within worked to adjust his posture.

The chair opposite his scraped, the door hissed and clanked, and Dawn suddenly found himself locked in a gaze that held no warmth.

A dull thump accompanied the files’ landing on the table.

“H-hi, I’m-”

“Staff Sergeant Dawn Wing of Their Majesties’ Royal Marines, yes, I know.”

Dawn managed not to flinch, barely.

“I’m here about your after-action report on the incident in the El-Vee two-eighteen system. Further investigation of the events have rendered it no longer as complete as we would like.” A file floated from the top of the stack and settled in front of the so-far-nameless mare. “We’d like you to elaborate on it.”

“Elaborate?”

The pony across from Dawn sighed in visible annoyance.

“Staff Sergeant Wing, you were involved in events of a magnitude matched only by our contact with the Changelings. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you how that went.

“This is something we need to understand very, very well before we can deal with it; and we can’t do that,” she tapped the file with a hoof, “with just a bunch of two-page reports. We need to know as much about what went on in that system as possibly can.

“So, please,” Dawn again found himself pinned by a glare, “elaborate on what you experienced in El-Vee two-eighteen.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Glad we’ve come to an understanding.

“Now,” she glanced at the file, “it says here that you were part of the initial landing on the surface.” Dawn nodded. “Start from there, in as much detail as you can remember.”

“Well, uh, I don’t really know what happened star-side, but I guess you’ll talk to one of the ship-jockeys at some point,” Dawn started, falling into his training again as he recounted his experiences with growing confidence.

“My squad and I got the orders to gear up and report to the landers. It was pretty standard stuff; grab your gear, strap on your assault saddle, strap in, kiss your flank goodbye.

“From what I saw, it was a pretty textbook landing; a little turbulence from re-entry and then nothing until we hit dirt. It was actually kind of too quiet, almost, like something big was gearing up to wallop us, but it never came. Spooked me something fierce. I know that sounds kinda-”

“Just continue with your report, Staff Sergeant.”

“. . . Yes, ma’am.

“The place was barren, barely habitable. Gray gravel and dust everywhere, air like you gliding at high altitude, not a lick of life. Anywhere.”

Dawn Wing advanced across the plain, his weapon at the ready. Around him, he could hear the hoofsteps of his comrades as they moved with him, soft crunches emanating from the dusty gravel beneath their hooves. In the distance was a piercing howl, like the screech of some beast in Tartarus.

Above him, the dull throbbing growl of high-altitude aircraft maneuvering could barely be heard.

Beyond that was the sharp whistle of the wind as it raced through the thin atmosphere around them.

And then nothing. Maddening amounts of absolutely nothing.

Dawn shivered, the sheer nothingness around him pushing his paranoia into overdrive, and turned again to look at his squad-mates. They were just as spooked. Dawn’s pace slowed, the safety provided by the herd calling to him on an instinctual level, and he allowed his squadmates to catch up to him a bit more.

They were advancing in the direction of a pair of hills outside of the alien compound, which could be seen through the gap between them. What little of it he could see looked nothing like pony architecture. Squat, brick-shaped buildings in different shades of gray, with no softness and, like the terrain around them, no life.

They had a cold, efficient, vaguely threatening look to them. They also seemed to be the source of the unearthly howl.

As well as the flight of fighters that suddenly screamed over Dawn’s head before climbing to meet their equestrian counterparts.

“Describe the fighters, please, Staff Sergeant.”

“I counted four of them, but aside from them being huge and having even larger wings, I didn’t get a good look at them. They moved too fast, ma’am.”

“I see. Please continue.”

A pause.

“We were within a couple hundred bodylengths of the hills by then.”

More of the compound had become visible. A tarmac, black mottled with gray, surrounded the horrible brick-buildings, more of which, including what appeared to be absolutely massive hangars which must have housed the fighters Dawn had seen, had become visible.

Wait a second.

Something on the hills, so faint he’d he’d almost missed it. Blurs at the top of each hill, low and indistinct. Had he been a unicorn or earth pony, Dawn would likely have never seen them

“Hey, Dia-”

One of the lieutenants disintegrated; there one moment, and then a cloud of mist another.

BANG!!!

The sound reached them a split-second later, again and again. Officer after officer disappeared in puffs of red mist amidst the thunderstorm of noise.

In a matter seconds, before anypony had any idea what had happened, the company had been decapitated.

Dawn was the first to recover. The blurs on the hills and the sudden, devastating attack had to be connected.

“THE HILLS! THEY’RE ON THE HILLS!”

The mad dash began, weapons fire and magical blasts blanketing the two peaks as the surviving ponies scrambled to retaliate. The thunderstorm continued to rage at them all the while.

Dawn, meanwhile, had taken flight, as had the other pegasi in the unit.

He prepared to dive-bomb the blurs, to take their attention off of his ground-bound comrades, when his existence exploded in pain.

He never felt the impact with the ground.

“And the next thing I know, I’m in a hospital signing for a prosthetic and it’s been a month.” Dawn raised the robotic forelimb for emphasis, before nodding at the file, “I got my new leg attached, and dictated that as soon as I could.”

The stylus, which the still-unnamed mare had brought out when he’d begun, twitched and danced across the tablet for a moment more before laying itself to rest beside it.

“And you’re sure that’s everything?” Again with the stare.

“Yes, ma’m.”

She stared at him for a moment longer, her eyes darting across his face as though she were searching for something. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face for a second before the mask came back down, her face once more becoming perfectly neutral.

“Thank you for your cooperation, Staff Sergeant. I’ll make sure this information gets to the right ponies.”

Still nameless, the mare left as suddenly as she had entered, though the door stayed open this time, indicating Dawn was free to go. He caught a glimpse of the mystery mare’s mark just before she walked out of sight.

It was an old-fashioned cloak.

Comments

[mastermenthe]

Good pacing, good writing; interesting and enticing!

[FanNotANerd]

I wasn't sure what to expect when you first contacted me about this. But my expectations were generally low. So saying that they were surpassed doesn't say much.

I'll say instead that I'm impressed. And I'm really tough to impress. Keep the action coming, don't let things get bogged down in space politics, and this could end up being really good.

I only noticed one error:

Star from there, in as much detail as you can remember.

I think that first word was supposed to be "Start." Forgot a T there.

And I only have one criticism: the chapter lengths are a bit short. Technically, those first two chapters can be grouped together without much difficulty. Most people here are accustomed to chapter lengths between 2 and 5k words, simply because when you're scrolling, 1,500 go past in the blink of an eye. Just something to keep in mind.

As for what you've done with the admittedly shallow world I set up, this is pretty good. I mean, the Dusk's stealth properties seem to behave the exact same way as the Normandy's, but since the original fic was heavily inspired by Mass Effect anyway, I've decided I don't care.

Just one question: why is the Human tag there? I won't try to write the story for you, but I only intended there to be ponies and Changelings in the fic's universe. It's probably hurting your view count a bit, seeing as everyone who sees it automatically assumes this is a bad HiE fic. Just my two cents on the matter.

Anyway, after that decidedly confusing review, have a like and a fave and all that. I'm interested to see where this goes.

[DATA_EXPUNGED]

5665200

I wasn't sure what to expect when you first contacted me about this. But my expectations were generally low. So saying that they were surpassed doesn't say much.

I'll say instead that I'm impressed. And I'm really tough to impress. Keep the action coming, don't let things get bogged down in space politics, and this could end up being really good.

Glad it's not a train wreck yet.

I'll be trying to tell as much of the as I can through the eyes of the grunts to avoid that very problem (or at least try).

I only noticed one error:

Star from there, in as much detail as you can remember.

I think that first word was supposed to be "Start." Forgot a T there.

You are correct, sir. Easy fix. If you find any more, please, don't hesitate to point to them out.

And I only have one criticism: the chapter lengths are a bit short. Technically, those first two chapters can be grouped together without much difficulty. Most people here are accustomed to chapter lengths between 2 and 5k words, simply because when you're scrolling, 1,500 go past in the blink of an eye. Just something to keep in mind.

Yeah. What you read was as much to get over my muse's inertia ("What do I do, George, what do I do?") as it was to actually tell the story. Now that I've established a pattern, I should be able to get longer chapters out in the future.

As for what you've done with the admittedly shallow world I set up, this is pretty good. I mean, the Dusk's stealth properties seem to behave the exact same way as the Normandy's, but since the original fic was heavily inspired by Mass Effect anyway, I've decided I don't care.

Magic Effect is definitely in play, and Dusk was built with that in mind.

Just one question: why is the Human tag there? I won't try to write the story for you, but I only intended there to be ponies and Changelings in the fic's universe. It's probably hurting your view count a bit, seeing as everyone who sees it automatically assumes this is a bad HiE fic. Just my two cents on the matter.

Hearth's Warming 2.0

That's all I'm saying at this point in time.

Anyway, after that decidedly confusing review, have a like and a fave and all that. I'm interested to see where this goes.

I will endeavor to not disappoint.

5664639
Glad you like it.