The Ponyville Garrison

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Fresh out of the academy, Lieutenant Spears has now been given his first assignment. The command of a small garrison in the town of Ponyville.

Chapters (2)

Chapter 1: I'm being assigned where? · 25th Apr 2015 · 2,156 words
2,156
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Chapter 2: Ponyville · 16th Aug 2015 · 4,018 words
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blue999

blue999 #1 · Apr 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1: I'm being assigned where? ·

This looks like it has potential from what I've read.
I'd like to see a few more military scientifically correct stories around here, keep it up.

Comment posted by That Pony Writer deleted Aug 16th, 2015

Shadow_Wolf

Shadow_Wolf #4 · Aug 17th, 2015 · 1 · · Chapter 1: I'm being assigned where? ·

I'm intrigued. Poor Spears....he really had no clue what he's getting into

Zocarik

Zocarik #5 · Aug 18th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·

As he stood in front of the castle, watching those guards, he knew that he was nothing but a guess, for his

guest

Most of the training the local garrison received was that off evacuating ponies from their homes and maintaining order in times of panic, as
well as receiving the occasional ‘getting a cat down from a tree’ experience.

You hit return/enter in the middle of a sentence

So as he walked away from the crystal castle and towards the location of the local garrison’s barracks, he began contemplating on his next
moves.

See above

And as Spears walked towards the garrison’s barracks, approaching the structure that was supposed to house his first command, he began to recent the idea even more.

Resent, not recent. Resent is a negative emotion, recent is time

Curious at this, the sergeant gave him a stiff and steady gaze, as he raised a brow and looked Zapper, who seemed to cringe from the words
and began to cower at its possible after effects. “What does she mean, Corporal?” Pike said, teeth gritted as he gave great emphasis on the last word.

Enter/return issue again

“Wait…corporal?” The mare said, cutting him off, as she moved towards the edge of the bed to add her own cold gaze on him. “You told me
you were the commanding officer of this place.”

As above.

“You want to know where the fire is?” Pike asked. “Well, the fire is right here and it’s coming in the form of an officer who would take command of the garrison. And when he gets here to find nopony but as too, then I’m pretty sure that we would find ourselves in a life of hurt.”

will
us two
'a life of hurt'? Typically it is a world of hurt or a life of hell/Tartarus

Never had he encountered such a complex problem in the many years of his career and he wished that he would never will again.

Just read this out loud. You will see the problem. Fix it.

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