Well, it looks like you've got something interesting here. Did you know that there's a Compilation Document of Fallout: Equestria stories like yours? We'd be glad to have you come over and chat with us.
If you haven't already, come on over to the Fallout Equestria Side Stories Compilation Document here! You can post your story and develop your ideas there
Seems promising! Precious' personality is PERFECT! just needs some grammar and punctuation fixes. Here's two major ones: I sighed rolling my eyes and hoof palming Facehoof, not hoof palm. pent up energy for latter…” later other than that, I'm liking this so far! keep up the good work!
743462 The concept of this story is nice. It's suffering from some surface errors, though. The most obvious would be the amount of run-on sentences you have. When you have a moment, familiarize yourself with introductory clauses, appositives, and nonessential phrases. Something else that was quite apparent was a shift from past-tense to present-tense. The majority of your story is written in past-tense, so you should stick to writing that way. Then there was the occasional misspelled word.
Other than that, the story is great. It has a lot of promise. Just be mindful of any errors you could make (like those above) and you should be golden.
Yes I do have a issue with run on sentances. And comma grammer. I was for this in a self stylized...on a roll where I can just knock out pages of work and immediatly publish it. Now that I can write without the need for time concerns before work I canpre-read more and find some pre-readers to go over it.
Well. Finally I managed to get back to the story. I did not realize how bad errors were until I re-read it! Hopefully, I managed to fix the majority of errors or at least bring some conformity to it. Next chapter will be up soonish.
Well, it looks like you've got something interesting here. Did you know that there's a Compilation Document of Fallout: Equestria stories like yours? We'd be glad to have you come over and chat with us.
If you haven't already, come on over to the Fallout Equestria Side Stories Compilation Document here! You can post your story and develop your ideas there
743333
743323
As much as appreciate the words of advice which I will now look into. I was curious what you thought of the story too?
Seems promising! Precious' personality is PERFECT!
just needs some grammar and punctuation fixes. Here's two major ones:
I sighed rolling my eyes and hoof palming
Facehoof, not hoof palm.
pent up energy for latter…”
later
other than that, I'm liking this so far! keep up the good work!
743462
The concept of this story is nice. It's suffering from some surface errors, though. The most obvious would be the amount of run-on sentences you have. When you have a moment, familiarize yourself with introductory clauses, appositives, and nonessential phrases. Something else that was quite apparent was a shift from past-tense to present-tense. The majority of your story is written in past-tense, so you should stick to writing that way. Then there was the occasional misspelled word.
Other than that, the story is great. It has a lot of promise. Just be mindful of any errors you could make (like those above) and you should be golden.
743942
743937
Yes I do have a issue with run on sentances. And comma grammer. I was for this in a self stylized...on a roll where I can just knock out pages of work and immediatly publish it. Now that I can write without the need for time concerns before work I canpre-read more and find some pre-readers to go over it.
lolol first chapter is hilarious
this is fantastic.
some minor spelling/grammar errors but otherwise, see the previous statement.
Is there a second chapter in the works? I would hate to see this fic die on the first chapter...
1229243
There is a second chapter in the works I just keep getting side tracked. I just need to expel one more piece of fiction before I can get back to it.
1229994
Cool
743942
743937
Well. Finally I managed to get back to the story. I did not realize how bad errors were until I re-read it! Hopefully, I managed to fix the majority of errors or at least bring some conformity to it. Next chapter will be up soonish.