By some unspoken agreement, the two of us didn't talk about anything once morning arrived. We simply woke up, kissed, then I left. There wasn't much more we felt like doing, given the circumstances. We didn't want to have some big, romantic night, we just wanted to feel something other than fear and uncertainty.
Upon returning to my palace, I prepared a press statement regarding the new findings about the scorpipony venom, and how there was no way it could kill Bludworth on its own. Hopefully that would drum up a lot of support on our side. I left out the part of their venom being a hallucinogen, though. It'd come up eventually, but now was not the time.
I spent probably ten minutes on the thing before casually tossing it on my desk and walking back to my room. The sun had risen only half an hour prior, so I had a little time before court started. I planned to use it wisely by sleeping. I still needed time to re-charge. Every guard and servant I walked past seemed to notice my demeanor, as none of them even attempted to stop me to ask for something. I'd go be Prince Antares in an hour when I woke up. Right then, I just wanted to shut the world out.
I wasn’t well-rested, but the mere fact that I could just close my eyes for an hour helped a lot. I guess times of insane stress are another instance where an alicorn's lack of need for sleep goes away.
My alarm clock went off, and I immediately slid out of bed, putting my regalia on and heading out to court within a minute. Hopefully court wouldn't take too long because most ponies realized I wouldn't be hearing war business unless it dealt with stuff like logistics. I truly did not care to hear petitions from ponies asking if I'd change my mind about drafting them.
Though speaking of the draft...
We'd been doing it town-by-town, working our way across Equestria until we had our army drafted. Today we were drafting another town.
Ponyville.
I gave a shaky sigh as I sat on my throne and motioned for my soldiers to open the door. Now, the Mane Six were exempt based on the fact that they wielded the Elements of Harmony, though we had already informed them that they'd be used if we needed them. Still, we wouldn't put them on the front lines and risk one of them being killed and rendering the Elements useless. We were talking about moving them and their families into Celestia's palace, as it was far safer than Ponyville. I know they will hate it, and we didn't like it either, but better that than something happening to them.
That and I still needed to figure out what to do with Kathyrine. Having the former princess, and current rightful heir, of the griffin nation in my palace was a card I needed to figure out how to play. It could cause serious strife in Griffonia if the country at large knew what happened, and I needed as much internal conflict in that nation as I could get. If they were fighting each other, they couldn't very well be fighting us. Eh, I'd worry about that a little later. For now, court. Though, I admit that I pretty much zoned out the entire time and ran on autopilot. It was mostly stuff about how various farms and factories needed more resources and funding if they were going to help with the war effort. I did like that we tried to take as few farmers as possible for the war. It meant that Big Mac would be exempt from the draft as well, as we needed him to work Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack eventually going to Canterlot.
Court ended after a few hours, leaving me with the job I had been putting off for a week, but could do no longer. The Ponyville Draft. I walked out of my throne room, escorted by Lieutenant Rapids and Private Blaze. The three of us had decided that I would be the one, as I was the one least connected to Ponyville. Proportionately. I still had strong connections there.
I entered my office and closed the door behind me, while Blaze and Rapids stood guard. On my desk stood a box with the names of every single pony in Ponyville eligible for the draft inside it. Celestia enchanted it so that, even though I was doing it alone, I couldn't tamper with it and set aside a name if I didn't like it. The second I pulled a name out of the box, it would be magically written down on a list in Celestia's office.
I sat down at my desk and stared at the box. I had to do it. I had to ignore my own emotions and do my job. I was a prince of Equestria, and I needed to be fair to my subjects. I couldn't scold Vichy for trying to get his sons exempt, then play favorites in Ponyville.
It'll all be okay. Someday. I just had to keep telling myself that.
I took a deep breath and ignited my horn, feeling around the hundreds of slips of paper to pick a single one. My magic honed in on one, and I slowly slipped it out of the box to look at the name written on it.
Time Turner.
I shakily gasped and flinched back as the name magically appeared on a list beside the box. Much like the one in Celestia's office.
Push through. It will be okay someday.
I pulled out another piece of paper. Flitter.
Another. Cloud Kicker.
Another. Caramel.
Another. Sea Swirl.
Another.
My eyes widened and I shot to my hooves as I read the name on the next piece of paper. I whimpered and backed into a corner, my ears pinned against my head and tears streaming down my face. I wanted it to go away. The paper floated to the ground as my horn fizzed out, and I squeezed my eyes shut as the name burned itself on the sheet next to the box.
Cheerilee.
* * * *
I stopped after that. I couldn't handle it. I'd come back to it later. I needed a little while to calm down.
My best friend in Ponyville, the mare who taught the foals I loved teaching, which gave me my only purpose in life when I first came to Equestria, and I had to be the one to send her off to a war she'd possibly never come back from. I couldn't give her special treatment. I couldn't make her exempt. Otherwise I'd be a huge hypocrite after what I said to Vichy. Besides, it's not like the foals would be left alone. We'd get a veteran teacher to sub for Cheerilee until she returned.
She would return. I'd make sure of it. Whatever I had to do, I'd make sure that Cheerilee would return to her foals in Ponyville. I still had to make her a soldier, though. Otherwise I'd be no better than Vichy.
After a half hour, I returned to the task at hoof. Given Ponyville's small size, I only needed to pull a dozen or so more names out of the box. I went back into my office and sat down in front of the box, ready to face the worst again.
Thunderlane.
It'll all be okay someday.
Daisy.
Just keep moving forward.
Raindrops.
It'll pass.
* * * *
I canceled everything I could for the day. I really needed more time to get emotionally centered. I couldn't very well make rulings about the war while I was that upset, even if I had gotten really good at alicorn stoicism. I had learned really quickly, and both Celestia and Luna confirmed this, that alicorn stoicism is nothing more than a mask. It doesn't transfer at all to what we're feeling. But we keep it bottled up in front of our ponies. Because they need us to look strong. Unshakable rocks that can weather any storm for them.
I wish. I wish more than anything.
With little else official to do, I decided that I might as well get the most unpleasant thing out of the way: delivering the draft notices. I decided to deliver some personally. Just to let them know that I'd be watching over them. That they'd be okay. Maybe. I gathered up all of the draft notices for the ponies of Ponyville and picked a dozen or so guards to join me in hoofing them out. Ones that I knew could be gentle about it.
We reached Ponyville a few hours later, around the middle of the afternoon. Given the warm weather, most ponies were outside, either in the market, the park, or just socializing around town. A few of the townsponies saw me land and waved to me, some greeting me by my human name. It sounded oddly foreign, really. In a few generations at most it would completely die out and become some legend, along with my former species. But here, they still acted as though I was still TD and just got a really cool job. Heck, they didn't even bow to me.
Granted, when I first ascended I told them I'd raze Ponyville if they did that. The memory brought a small smile to my face as I walked through the town. It faded quickly, and I flicked my wing out, signaling to my soldiers that they should begin hoofing the notices out. They saluted and spread out to their assigned districts while I walked alone to one cottage in particular. One I hadn't been to in... gosh, about three years, I think. Before my ascension, that was for sure. I reached it and knocked on the door and only waited a few moments before it opened up, and my best friend in Ponyville appeared on the other side, smiling as usual.
"Oh, hello, TD. I didn't know you were coming today." Cheerilee motioned to the inside of her house. "If I did I would have cleaned up a bit."
I smiled at her and waved my hoof. "No need for that, Cheers. We're friends, and you don't have to put on a show for me."
Cheerilee nodded and stepped aside. "Well, do come in, TD. Can I get you anything to drink?"
I shook my head as I walked inside her house, shutting the door behind me with my magic. "No, no, that's fine. I'm actually here on..." I took a deep breath. "Official business."
Cheerilee frowned and tilted her head. "Oh? Something about foals or education, or something about the war?"
"The war," I said grimly, motioning for Cheerilee to take a seat. "And I'm afraid the news isn't good." I held up a hoof to forestall her questions, as her expression turned into one of fear. "Don't worry: the Saddle Arabians, buffalo, and Zebrican berserkers are protecting our borders until we get our army ready to join them. They'll keep us safe for now. No, the issue stems more from..." I sighed. "The draft. We just drew the names for the Ponyville draft today."
"Oh," Cheerilee said, flattening her ears. "Yes, I can see how that would be something that would hurt you. You and the ponies here have a connection with each other."
"Yeah, but there's a bit more to it than that." I fired up my horn and slipped an envelope out of a bag I had strapped to my side. I floated it over to her, letting her take it in her hooves. "That's... that's your draft notice, Cheerilee. The draft was done by lottery, and your name came up."
"Oh," Cheerilee said, much quieter than before. My stomach tied itself into knots when she flinched back at the words "your draft notice" like she didn't think it was real. I sat down in front of her and put my hoof on her shoulder.
"You'll come back to your students, I promise you. We'll get a temporary substitute, and you can resume your duties when you get back. But I promise you that you will return."
"How?" Cheerilee whispered. "How can you promise that? You're taking the field with Nightmare Weapons out there, right? How can you promise that you'll come back?"
"Because those Nightmare Weapons will never see the field," I said. "My human weapons are going to end this war very quickly, even with the size of the griffin and minotaur armies. That speech I made when I announced the war to the press: I believe every word of it. This is a scary time, Cheers, I know that, but I'm going to do everything that I can to make sure that you're as safe as you can be. I promise you."
Cheerilee's jaw began wobbling and tears streaked down her face. I moved closer to her and wrapped my wings around her, letting her lean into my chest and cry her fears away. For now.
The war would end soon enough, right? My human weapons would make sure of that.
I had to be right about that.
* * * *
Smoke bellowed out of the train as workers began shoveling coal into the furnace to start it up. I looked down the length of the train, watching for anything suspicious. It wouldn't do for something to happen to it. This was our initial invasion force, after all. There were too many soldiers and supplies in there for anything to go wrong. So far nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but Antares' human weapons were a big unknown. We didn't even know what they looked like, much less what they'd actually do. For all I knew, they'd transport the entire country into space.
I was taken out of my thoughts when one of my subordinates, Private Sharpwing, came up to me and saluted. I half-heartedly returned it.
"Captain, I've talked to the rest of the troops. We've scoured the train, but nothing seems wrong. The troops stationed on the train are a little uneasy, but that's to be expected when they're going to war, I guess. Anything can happen. All of the gear in the rest of the train cars looks fine."
I sighed and slowly nodded. "Yes, yes, that sounds good." Maybe I was just being paranoid. Our intelligence said that Antares claimed he had created his weapons, but we had no solid proof of that. He could very well be bluffing. One could only hope. I looked over to the conductor, who looked at me expectantly, waiting for the signal to move toward Equestria. I nodded at him and he saluted back at me. He turned to the griffins shoveling coal and said something to them that I couldn't quite hear, but I noticed them picking up the pace.
"Captain..." I turned to Private Sharpwing who seemed to be a bit uneasy. "Maybe this isn't my place, but... do you think this whole war is a good thing? I mean, I know the Emperor says so, and I would never say that he would want to get us in a war we couldn't win, but I dunno. With Antares' human weapons and what Celestia and Luna did at the Battle of Baltimare, is all of this wise?"
"You are right, it isn't your place," I said stiffly. "Our glorious emperor will lead us to victory, of that I'm sure."
Private Sharpwing bowed his head and muttered some apology. I didn't care to hear it. Truth be told, I had been thinking the same things. Were I a similar rank as he, I would share my misgivings. I looked over to the locomotive, watching it move towards Equestria and a war I wasn't sure we'd come out of in one piece.
That's when the lead car exploded. The coal car followed in seconds.
I squawked and hit the ground, covering my head with my forelegs as shrapnel flew through the air, a few bits striking unfortunate griffins who had rushed towards the noise to see what had happened. I heard a deafening groan of metal and looked up to see the cars tipping over one-by-one. Even through the crashing, I could hear the cries of the soldiers inside the cars as they were thrown about when their cars crashed on their sides. I stood up, but knew that there was nothing I could do. I could only watch in horror as the train and everything in it was destroyed, one car at a time.
* * * *
"The train was rendered totally unusable, Prince Antares, just as you predicted. Our intelligence indicates roughly three thousand dead and twice that many injured, many severely. The rest aren't going to be going onto any trains headed towards Equestria anytime soon."
I smirked and put down the report. My first use of a human weapon seemed to be a resounding success.
"Thank you, Private Blaze. However, if you could be a dear and sabotage as many of the train tracks as you could, that would be lovely. I'm counting on them being less inclined to move their army and supplies by train, but just in case, let's make it harder for them."
"Sounds like a plan, Prince Antares," Blaze said, saluting me. "Anything else?"
I shook my head. "No no, not right now. I'll be flying to Canterlot later today to update Celestia and Luna about what happened yesterday. This is the first big event in the war. They'll want to know about it."
"Of course, though..." Blaze frowned. "Is Princess Celestia feeling up to it? Last I heard she was under the weather."
I sighed and rested my head against my hoof. For the past week or so, Celestia had come down with... something. It was beginning to worry us. Alicorns didn't really get sick, though there were a few diseases specific to us. Contracting them was still fairly rare. Like once every few decades rare, if that. We hoped that she didn't have one of those. Now would be the wrong time, for sure.
"It comes and goes," I finally replied. "I'm hoping that she'll be better by the time I fly over tonight." I glanced over at Blaze. "Keep her condition to yourself, though. I don't want word getting around that she's not feeling the best. The last thing we need is for her to appear weak in front of Cromwell and Purgle."
Blaze saluted. "Of course, Prince Antares. We'll see you when you get back from Canterlot. Have fun with Princess Celestia."
I rolled my eyes.
* * * *
"Alright, ladies, let's get down to brass tacks." I turned to Celestia and smiled. She said she felt well enough that she could show up for our meeting. So, herself, Luna, Cadance and I all sat inside our private meeting room, ready to discuss the war. "As you know, a Griffonian train was blown up, resulting in heavy casualties and damage. Before you ask: yes, it was one of my human weapons that destroyed the train."
"Yes, We... I am curious to hear about this weapon," Luna said. She'd been trying to cut down on the "Royal We" thing ever since I had pointed out that the "We" also included me. "The explosion was destructive, but only in its effects. The explosion itself did not destroy the whole train."
I nodded. "Yes. I didn't use napalm to blow up that train. I used a coal bomb."
"A coal bomb?" Cadance said, tilting her head.
"Yup. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's an explosive disguised like a piece of coal. I just get a soldier to slip it into a train's supply of coal, the engineers shovel the bomb into the furnace and..." I spread my hooves apart, mimicking an explosion. "It's not quite as over-the-top as napalm, nor as damaging, but it has the dual effect of destroying their supply-slash-troop trains while at the same time messing them up psychologically. I have several coal bombs hidden in military trains around Griffonia. Give it a few more times and no soldier is going to get on one of those trains, nor are they going to risk sending supplies that way. Hence, their mobilization efforts are going to be slowed considerably. They're going to have to rely on supply convoys, which are far easier to ambush. This is all on top of the fact that Mesud is attacking them from the other side."
"An interesting strategy," Celestia said with an approving nod. "If the griffins believe that every time they attempt to move towards Equestria they will face severe casualties before they even see the border, they will be far less inclined to try."
"And demoralization from the griffin troops means that they'll not want to fight, causing internal strife in Griffonia, knocking them out of the war and allowing us to focus on Purgle," Cadance finished.
"Yep." I shrugged. "Of course, nothing ever goes completely to plan, but they have to be at least a little shaken up by now. And if they're not, a few more blown up trains and destroyed railways will do the trick. Until then, the next order of business." I turned to Cadance. "How are your efforts to find all of the leaders of the opposition going?"
"Decently, I'd say, seeing as how I'm pretty sure my Blade Wings found all of them," Cadance said, opening up a saddlebag and putting a manila folder on the table. "I think the hard part about assassinating them is going to come from the fact that there is a lot of security around them. Your best chance at taking out Purgle is on the battlefield. Cromwell isn't going anywhere near that. Auntie Celestia would have an easier time getting into your secret weapon room than you would have getting Cromwell right now."
I grimaced and clicked my tongue. "Great. I was hoping we could cut the head off quickly."
"We do still have Kathyrine," Luna pointed out. "We must find a way to utilize her to cause strife amongst the griffins. Surely there are some still loyal to the rightful heir to the throne."
"That's what I'm thinking too, yeah," I agreed. "I think the first step with that is to talk to her and find out what she's willing to do, then go from there."
"A sound idea," Celestia said."Is there anything else for today?"
"Nothing that I can think of," I said. "The draft is going well enough, I guess. We're up to a hundred thousand, but we still have to train and equip them, something that's going a little slower than I'd like." I sighed and massaged my temple. "I think Las Pegasus is being obtuse about it. Just enough to slow us down a bit, but not enough to be that noticeable. I don't think they appreciated us executing Soaring Skies."
It's not like we hanged her in public, or anything.
"Hmm. That's something that we'll need to deal with, then," Celestia said with a frown. "Until then, I feel that I need to eat. It has been a taxing day."
"Are you feeling better then?" I asked as we all stood up.
Celestia smiled and nodded. "Yes, I feel much better since this morning." Her smile faded into a frown and she tilted her head thoughtfully. "In fact, it's strange. The illness only comes in the early morning. By around eleven or so it is gone. It's like I've contracted this morning sickness that--"
It hit all four of us at pretty much the exact same time.
Cadance squeed and began bouncing up and down, a gigantic grin on her face. I, however, had only a few moments to register the fact that Celestia was pregnant with my foal before Luna punched me right in the face.
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After the number of times TD has punched Celestia in the face (not necessarily all in this continuity, but whatever) this has been a LONG time coming.
Celestia, you've been around for thousands of years, and you STILL FORGET TO ASK IF HE HAS A CONDOM!?!
Three words: Ouch, poor TD.
has no one thought about weaponizing the diamond dogs? they`d be great gorilla warfare harassment and they work for gems which equestria has a ridiculous supply of.
5961831 ... dude. How did you do that?
5969279
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And remember kids, use protection.
With "quiet dignity and grace"?
What goes around comes around, TD.
That ending was hilarious. You, Sir, are a wizard with words.
Well then... considering the timing of this latest development, everything's going to be that much more interesting. Especially considering Celestia couldn't reasonably join in the war effort personally for the foreseeable future. As if it wasn't complicated enough already...
Oh shoot...poor TD.
5969318
I believe the word you're looking for is 'guerrilla', but I do think that that is a good idea. The minotaurs seem like very confrontational warriors that would prefer to fight in the open, so if the dogs fight from the shadows, that might throw the minotaurs off their game.
Also, I just realized: Celestia's out.
Now that she's pregnant, she can't join the war and fight without endangering the child. TD just effectively took out Equestria's most powerful fighter.
5969389
most effective? Ajemph!? LUNA, CADENCE, and if they manage to convince her CHRYSALIS are still there, and they are equally strong as Celestia, not most effective ONE of the most effective you mean
TD might have to worry about Luna more than the minotaurs and griffins.
We could start a new tradition. When TD punches Celestia, Luna can punch him back whenever she wants. Like Slapsgiving.
So…a war child, well this complicated things, you can't had a wedding in the middle of a war, and Celestia needs to stand back so they can't announce the pregnancy, they might as well put a giant target sigh in Celestia head under a neon sigh that say, 'shoot here'
They will need to keep this under the belt and end this war as soon as possible before words gets out that TD and Celestia are getting married (because yeah something as big as this will reflect and child born without marriage doesn't sit well or give the right message to the ponies that watch them all the time)
Well the good news is that TD and Celestia church will converge in the near future, I just can't wait to read what their bibles will tale with how TD used sarcasm.
And those, Prince Antares hump the queen of the sun, until her creation shy brighter than never before, and it was good, as the queen of the sun tongue lolly out of her mount and her eyes role eyes confirm.
5969403 Remrmber, Celestia is outright stated to be more powerful than Luna. We don't really know what the extent of Cadence's magic is, and Chrysalis only defeated Celestia while powered up with love.
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Well, that's a cliffhanger and a half.
5969431
What about the time Luna almost defeat Celestia and force her to used her last card: the elements
Or when Cadence and Shining proved that love can beat anything even the power of Celestia.
Yeah, I get it what you mean Celly could be the strongest with Luna being absent by 1000 years and Cadence needing Shining but yeah, Celly is not the only weapon or 'card' at their disposal…kind of, is like they lost the king of their deck of cards and now they will had to make due until the Ace is born.
Also do you wonder how much last an alicorn pregnancy?
5969425 Celestia always had this huge target on her head. Personally I believe that it'd increase morale. The first natural born prince... Oh boy.
Well now.... well now. The next conversation the 4 of them have could fill a chapter by it self. Im guessing both Td and Celestia just plain forgot seeing as a regular pony probably can't get her pregnant.
Annnd of course they'll be talk of a wedding... which could be an amazing war moral booster. Hmm even the foal could be used to inspire fellow equestrians... Not great topics to talk about but valid ones that will probably come up.
So what would the son/daughter of a princess/prince be called? Probably heir apparent or somewhat but now I'm curious.
5969462
First natural ALICORN prince, consider both are alpha alicorns, I kind of also wonder if this mean that TD and Celly will had to ascend to the position of king and queen?
Or if this is like Satellite lovers, by traditions he will need to date marriage and impregnated Luna too so they keep the equality in power?
5969442 That was Nightmare Moon, not Luna. For all we know, NMM could have given Luna a temporary power boost. Cadence and Shining, while very powerful, are nowhere near the level of Celestia.
I assume an alicorn pregnancy lasts from 9-12 months. I'm not acquainted with horse biology.
If I'm completely honest, I thought "pregnancy" as soon as I saw the title. How it was delivered was masterful, though.
Now then, go forth , TD, and show these nubs the might of a species that has several thousand years of war experience!
5969442 Eh, to be honest, I see that more as Celestia choosing the only option that could stop Luna without killing her. As in, Celestia could have defeated Nightmare Moon but the cost would have been a fight to the death, all out, drawn out over their castle. And then there's her using all six elements when it was shared between them both. Just a personal opinion though.
As for the chapter itself... yeah, I thought the draft would be a friendship killer. I'm just waiting for the time where it picks up one of the Mane Six's family, like one of Rarity's or Twilight's parents. That would certainly hit hard.
About the war though, I'm fairly certain the dogs and the changelings are not going to be cooperative on Equestria's side.
And... yeah, end of chapter, baby bomb, a classic. Oh, TD, should have seen it coming. Next, the big question, scorpalicorn?
5969491 i don`t think that's a fair assumption that Celestia is more powerful then Luna, if anything Luna serves a much greater threat to the minotaurs and gryphons then Celestia ever did.
she can attack there solders in there dreams giving them endless nightmares from anywhere on the planet, and you can`t kill a dream.
Really love this chapter. TD's strategy of using coal bombs was great and. I was laughing my ass off with the Alicorns' reaction (especially Luna) towards discovering that Celestia is pregnant. Hope to see more of this story.
5969536
The possibilities are endless, the only thing for sure is TD although is sad manage to give a very well place hit on the griffons mental and physical with that move, witch in turns made that all casualties for now are enemies and were all militar, both sides will had to step out their game and if he play his card right, could end up griffons and minotaurs fight each other instead of Equestria.
I think TD is using psychologic war, and another thing he could used is place in certain well guarded places in the forest, low and constant music with a tune that has no sense, that will render travel by forest a second no, no, soldiers will be tense with the music and will start to panic thinking there are monster or ghost there and even if they reach Equestria they will be to scare and disorganised to try make much a resistance
My face and reaction pretty much mirrors Cadance's. Not 'cause of the child (though I grinned at that). no, I'm like this cause Luna punched him in the face.
At this rate having royalty being punched in the face will become tradition.
So that makes the death penalty ok? I am firmly opposed to the death penalty, dead people (or ponies in this case) can't learn from their mistakes. Did Soaring Skies really deserve to be executed?
5969596 Well, she did orchestrate the attempted assassination of one of Equestria's monarchs. In every society I've heard of, that's a death penalty right there. It's a tough question, but it was either that or they kept her in jail forever.
If there's one thing humans have been good at, it's killing each other.
If TD makes even 1/3rd of the weapons we've had in our history, this will be a short war indeed. Can't wait to see if there's some kind of magic powered dragon tank that blasts across the battlefield spewing napalm on the enemies.
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5969605
The debate on Capital Punishment is one that will not go away anytime soon. I can understand why some people would use it, but personally I'm against it. Not complaining about the story, definitely one if the better ones I read. Luna clocking TD/Antares in the face though....brilliant, just something I can see Luna doing. She be a good godmother (I'm assuming they have them).
5969628 upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/27/M67_Flamethrower_Tank_Vetnam.jpg
Yes, punches in the face for EVERYPONY!
Heh, I see that Luna is finally learning to control herself. Instead of throwing him through multiple walls she acts like TD instead.
Payback is a bitch, TD.
5969728 No, no, Twilight threw him through multiple walls. Luna snapped his spine over the back of a chair.
Cadence face when
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5969383
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
HAR HAR HAR!!!
PS - Dat Cheerilee thing made me tear up. D:
5969817 Um... wtf, dude? Am I missing something here because that was not okay. He pretty much agreed with you.
But yeah, it is guerrilla warfare. Gorilla warfare would be with apes.
5969848
The joke.
Your head.
It's an old copypasta, I'm actually kind of surprised you don't know about it.
5969862 I have, actually. I thought it looked familiar. It just came right out of left field.
5969848
This wasn't even the same person... 5969318 was the one I was replying to!
One of the few times I decide to comment on a story and this is the kind of attention I get...
36.media.tumblr.com/7585d12bc3d7ba6688618fd36f3b57c7/tumblr_nnquj420CJ1sj5dd9o1_500.png
Luna took the news of TD getting her sister knocked up better then I thought she would. I was expecting her to blast him completely through the moon.
Can't wait to see how everyone else reacts to Celestia being pregnant. I'm particularly looking forward to seeing the reactions of both Twilight and Blueblood.
I guessed that she was pregnant as soon as the illness was mentioned. Good chapter.
I wonder why Luna punched him. It's not like Celestia is her daughter and she's the father.
That sounds more like a jealousy thing. She's mad that big sis got pregnant before she did or something. I don't know. I'm just throwing crap at the wall.