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AbsoluteAnonymous

Joined October 2011
1,886 followers

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Stories (17)

  • The Light Goes Out
    Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia's final conversation together.

    3,014 words · 17,152 views · 1,761 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Pinkie Watches Paint Dry
    Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis about paint.
    2,500 words · 38,056 views · 3,335 likes · 56 dislikes
  • A Million Things to Do
    Pinkie Pie forces Rainbow Dash to help her complete a list of things to do before the world ends.
    6,046 words · 8,705 views · 713 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Diamond in the Rough
    Applejack gets drunk and Rarity has to help her get home.
    2,961 words · 11,137 views · 711 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Shipping Goggles
    2,778 words · 25,699 views · 1,620 likes · 33 dislikes
  • Transdimensional Zoology
    3,811 words · 12,052 views · 1,212 likes · 24 dislikes
  • Ambition
    4,714 words · 4,117 views · 364 likes · 5 dislikes
  • The Cold Light of the Stars
    4,919 words · 4,089 views · 502 likes · 9 dislikes
  • The Games We Play
    137,602 words · 23,145 views · 1,884 likes · 54 dislikes
  • Sweet Nothings
    9,419 words · 6,102 views · 532 likes · 12 dislikes

This is the story of a certain pink pony who's decided that she wants to have babies like the Cakes, and of the much-enduring pegasus who must explain to her why that might not exactly be plausible for them. Will either of them succeed in their mostly-noble endeavours? Probably not. Dedicated to device heretic, who gave me the idea. Please don't take this too seriously.

Featured on Equestria Daily, and quickly shaping up to be my lowest-rated story yet!

First Published
4th May 2012
Last Modified
4th May 2012

Comments ( 239 )

#1 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>reads description

>oh gawd

edit

I LOLD SO HARD!!!!!

#2 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

IM CRYING CUS IM LOLING SO HARD

Obselescence
Moderator
#3 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I swear, you write too fast.

It makes the rest of us look bad.

Good on you anyway, though. :P

#4 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Not sure if want, to be honest.

#5 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

This looks interesting. :moustache:  Will mark as 'Read Later'. :twilightsmile:

#6 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Just use magic. Story over.

Badu Bump Badu Bump!

#7 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Another one, seriously.

AA, I swear do you want to give others a shot at featured?

#8 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

6 legged pinkie? DO WANT. :pinkiegasp:

edit- hahahahha! good story! made me laugh out loud a few times. :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

"Your parents are coming to visit and you need me to play along with whatever crazy story you gave them about what you've been doing away from home all these years."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!:rainbowlaugh:

This is a great story. The "punchline" if you might call it that is both hilarious and, when you get to it, quite logical; there is a method to Pinkie's madness and you get why she do her crazy Pinkie thing, instead of her just being random.:twilightsmile:

#10 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

A brief summary of my reaction to this story:

A solid giggly feel-good story. I even d'awwed a little at Dash at the end, and I'm not a d'awwing type.

Oh, and:

:facehoof: : "That's my brother's name for me from when we were foals. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't really like it much. It sounds silly."

#11 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Well, scratch that, amazing story. :ajsmug:

#12 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: awesome oneshot, really good relationship you've developed there between Rainbow and Pinkie!

#13 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Too late, I've already decided I'm totes going to take this seriously.

#14 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

You know, it's not as random as I had expected.

:rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

That was funny. Very cute too.

#16 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

My comment will surely say somthing importanat, Ahem:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

...okay I'm done laughing...

P.S. Do more stories like this, okay?:pinkiehappy:

Double P.S. I'm not kidding.

Triple P.S. No seriously, I'm not kidding.

Quadruple P.S. I'm being entirely serious and I mean that 100% honestly.

Quintuple P.S. I'm not joking okay!

Hextuple P.S. Why are you still reading my comment?

#17 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Holy crap, you write fast! Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Another excellent story; it regularly cracked me up and actually left me somewhat intrigued by the possibilities of these two with foals :rainbowlaugh:. Twilight's and Rarity's closing remarks were very nice as well.

#18 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Pfffffft hahahahahahaha! Very funny. I can see Pinkie's thought process taking this exact route. Very enjoyable, and I'm not even a fan of PinkieDash! :rainbowwild:

#19 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Quite, quite. I say, jolly good!

#20 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: How could Dash say such a thing?

Don't worry Gummy. We all know you're secretly a genius. :pinkiesad2:

This is awesome, boss. I was laughing the whole way through - your Pinkie/Dash dynamic is just incredible. And hey, look - a second story where Pinkie isn't psychologically traumatised. :pinkiegasp: And you did this one excellently, too.

I now forgive you for declaring OTP day after it was already May 5th here. And the ending is hilarious, too. :rainbowlaugh:

#21 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Oh pinkie you are so random....i hope tank is ok

#22 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544105

No way, I actually beat you to something AbsoluteAnonymous posted... the world just ended...

#23 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Lol

PresentPerfect and I both had fics with this premises in the works. Hah!

#24 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

This story was pregnant with possibilities and gravid with joy. It was a fecund festival of fun!

#26 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I won't lie. I am of the firm belief that this is the single greatest story I have ever written.

#27 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544169

You. Are. Correct. :pinkiehappy:

#28 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Pinkie Pie is so delightfully random. I now want to see a story where Twilight's worst fear comes true, and Pinkie-ness is contagious.

Great story.

#29 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I was skeptical in the beginning, but your effective dialogue and good characerization left me feeling good and smiling throughout the rest of the piece. I'm not one to ship, but here I felt the relationship was plausible and downright amusing. Fantastic job. :pinkiesad2::rainbowkiss:

#30 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I absolutely loved that story; my Luna that was too funny.

#31 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Pretty good, made me smile a few times :pinkiehappy:

Noticed two cases of missing words: "Because you top, duh", and the other one I completely forgot while writing this.

#32 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Mind-bogglingly accurate characterization!:pinkiehappy: Have a mustache.:moustache:

#33 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544310

Hahahahaha! No, that wasn't a missing word. She meant that Rainbow topped. SEXUALLY.

#34 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I generally only read girlxguy fics, but this was pretty cute as well. I guess it's good to venture out now and then. Silly, cute, romantic in its own way. Keep writing! I look forward to more from you! :pinkiesmile: :rainbowderp:

#35 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544329 Yeah I got that, but I've never heard someone say it like that before. Would expect something like 'you go on top' or 'you prefer to ride' instead.

Not a missing word then, nevermind.

#36 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I think my favorite part of this, actually, is the implication that 'wee-wee' is an Incredibly Naughty Word.

#37 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Pinkie teaching Dashie the facts of life... oh man. I haven't giggled this hard in a while.:pinkiehappy:

#38 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I'd think Rainbow would make a great dad! :rainbowhuh:

Can anyone picture Rainbow Dash breastfeeding? :rainbowderp:

Cute story! Needs more Fluttershy though. :rainbowlaugh::yay:

#39 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

And it's a featured story already, about 2 hours after it was posted.. Most impressive.

#40 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Lol, this is awesome! :twilightsmile:

#41 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm going to laugh so hard when this one reaches "Pinkie Watche Paint Dry" levels of "I didn't mean it to be taken this seriously"

#42 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544169

I wouldn't say best, but you've most certainly done it again!

#43 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Rainbow's eyes grow wide.

GAH TENSE CHANGE TENSE CHANGE, IT BURNSESSSSS USSSSSSS!:raritydespair:

thrusting her marefriend's head towardsTwilight.

You missed a space between "towardsTwilight". Also marefriend = ladyfriend, fillyfriend = girlfriend.

Anyway, this story was funny and adorable and completely pointless. Thumbs up, but can't say it's a favorite. Funny, deja vu for the other 2 of your stories I've read.

#44 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

> Oh, you mean a wee-wee!

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#45 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Nice random comedy your wrote there. All of Rainbow Dash's suffering could have been avoided if she'd just asked the when question sooner.

I have little doubt that Dash was freaking out while thinking her marefriend was the fastest pony in Equestria instead of her.

"Only a month of dating and now suddenly we're having foals?!" :rainbowderp:

#46 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Wow, this was brilliant!

I especially liked the Tank part.

Great job!

#47 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

5-stars once it hits EQD and a +1 for now.  

Some little things: the ending with Twilight could've been better with more sleepy/exasperated motions.  

Since your writing is nearly grammatically flawless, I'd like to point out an error that is extremely common in fics.  

"Fluttershy, [...] that morning, never learning of the strange conversations among her friends [...]"

-ing words are technically supposed to be next to the words they apply to.  This rule gets annoying fast, but in long sentences like this one, it's probably worth watching out for.  

#48 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Personally, I prefer Rainbow Sparkle... Gah, that sounds awful. I prefer Twilight Dash ships, but this was a good read.:derpytongue2:

#49 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

Rainbow Pie baby story? I want more, if you please.

#50 · 116w, 3d ago · · ·

>>544626

That's not actually a rule, though.

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