7. Hope and Faith (April 2021)
Chapter 7: Hope and Faith
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
Shepard would be the first to admit that she’d killed many times before. Among the listed dead were bloodthirsty mercenaries, ruthless criminals, slavers, terrorists, hostile aliens, and sick machines with a fetish for galactic annihilation. The reasoning had always relied upon her duty as a soldier and in the name of preserving galactic peace.
The ends did justify the means.
Yet, there were always consequences to her choices and, as strong as she was, there was no way to control whether the outcome was good or bad. It was with that reluctant expectation that she awaited the buffalo’s explanation as to her alleged godhood
“Like it or not, Commander, you’re a hero to these men and women.”
Fatigue and shame replaced neutrality as her facial muscles went lax. The spark of curiosity shined through as her ears noticeably perked. Chief Thunder had wanted to explain where he’d learned of her name and background, and she would be a fool to ignore it.
“Please explain how you know my name and about humans as well?”
“Yes, I can do that.” The Chieftain grasped in his hooves a calumet. Otherwise known as a peace pipe, given how closely the tribe’s culture reflected that of ancient Native Americans back on Terra. The pipe was a long and narrow tube made of hollowed out clay baked into a solid cylinder and decorated with a chain of beads, feathers, and a couple of precious stones. At the far end, away from the mouth piece, was a bowl shaped receptacle where tobacco was packed in and set aflame. The Chieftain took several small puffs of the burning plant. The release of smoke gradually grew bigger as he orally stoked the flames.
After a couple of puffs, the Chieftan passed the calumet off to Sheard.
She took an experimental sniff of the released incense and realized that it wasn’t tobacco or ganja being used, but something entirely different. It was still a strangely familiar smell that spoke to long forgotten memories of when she was a teenager growing up on the far flung colony of Mindoir, at the border of the Terminus Systems.
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
It was over twenty-one years ago, when she was fifteen, on Mindoir, Shepard had caught one of the workers in hydroponics red handed while they’d been harvesting and sampling a small harvest of cannabis in one of the rear growth chambers. The stash had been cleverly hidden amongst the various floras and other foodstuff. While cannabis had been legalized on Earth for well over a century, growing it in the utilitarian limitations of a colony’s hydroponics facility was considered a serious felony.
Shepard distinctly remembered being close friends with that worker, but she could not remember a name apart from the initials B.P. It had turned out that B.P. was making a small fortune selling the secretive crop to Salarian merchants who had been making infrequent deliveries of goods and equipment to the colony. Who would have thought that an advanced alien race, with a natural lifespan of thirty-five to forty years, would be transfixed on a drug meant to elicit feeling of euphoria and contentment? Of course smoking cannabis made them hungrier than a swarm of locusts and caused the drug to be banned all throughout the Salarian Union.
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
“Of all the memories of home why did that one come up” Shepard shook the thought off, but memories were persistent things. She couldn’t help but think of Mordin, the Salarian scientist who had perished setting a terrible tragedy to right.
“The sun sails high, so I shall make the tale as pithy as I can.” Thunder Hooves released a large cloud of smoke, as it flowed from his lips it contorted into strange images of roaming buffalo, and other desert life.
The sight was mesmerizing.
Shepard took the calumet into her hooves and was met with a moment of hesitation, as an active Alliance soldier she could be faced with sever disciplinary action if caught smoking the offered pipe, even off duty. Alcohol and tobacco were only permitted during diplomatic talks where said imbuement was part of a cultural or religious exchange. Even then there were strict limits on what was considered acceptable behavior. She dared a peek towards Anderson, who seemed to have come to the same conclusion and nodded his permission.
Shepard balanced the calumet with both of her forelegs, treating it as if it was a loaded firearm. She was a little reviled to put her mouth on the recently used mouthpiece, at the same time she was also curious. She put the pipe into her mouth and inhaled; then forcibly blew out in a spasm of uncontrollable coughing.
“What,” cough, “is that,” cough, “stuff?” She inquired, yet already anticipating the answer as she passed the pipe to Little Strong Heart. The female calf, unabashedly, showcased her skills at smoking the calumet. Exhaling a cloud that was a work of art in motion, a brilliant tapestry of bison and ponies playing together with a human added in.
“The finest Indica this side of the Appleloosian Mountains,” the lithe bovine said with a smile as she continued the calumet down the line, “those familiar with its use can reflect a part of themselves in the images revealed in the smoke.”
“I’ll take your word,” cough, “for it. Anyway you were going to explain about humans and my name.” Shepard was pounding a hoof on her chest, breathing still ragged and uneven.
“Yes.” Thunderhooves reached into his fur coat and pulled out a rectangular black box, with rounded edges. It was about the size and depth of three moderately sized text books. On the top was a circle indentation with, two more, progressively smaller circles set inside. Shepard immediately recognized the device and, without thinking, reached out to grab it.
Well, I suppose I did just write your name in the stars.
She frantically examined the device for any kind of identifying feature. The outer shell was scratched and buffeted with innumerable pocket marks and deep cuts. It looked ancient; it felt heavy with the weight of generations pressing upon it. Sadly the device was no longer functional because the eezo power core had been removed.
“Where did you get this?” Shepard demanded while holding the capsule like aonflicting emotions fought against her.
“As ‘The Shepard’ I know the name Liara T’Soni holds meaning for you.” The Chief’s held only the most stoic of expressions. “That is her voice carried down through the ages, to warn up of the Reapers.”
Even in the most optimistic of circumstances victory over the Reapers was, a dream built on a fragile hope, not reality. The immanent extinction of Humanity and the allied galactic fleets had all but been assured. Liara had not been satisfied with that reality and had built multiple time capsules that she’d intended to be seeded across the galaxy. A way to carry information into the future, to warn the next generation of organic life of the threat the Reapers represented.
Each capsule contained a staggering amount of data crammed into it. Everything from a virtual AI with multiple translation programs, to ship and weapon schematics, technological marvels, Reaper schematics, blueprints for the Crucible super weapon, and topped off by the aggregate of the cultural and historical collection of the dozen space faring races that met the Reapers head on without fear or hesitation.
“Liara,” the name carried a lead weight in the mare’s throat, “Liara was here? Is she still alive?”
“It all happened so very long ago,” the Chief shook his head in sorrow, “many, many generations have come and gone since the prophet T’Soni descended from the heavens. If she still lives, I do not know, her message foretold of your return to once again stand against the enemy that threatened all life. You know of whom I speak.”
“The Reapers…no,” Shepard felt her blood run cold as a core of dread seized her, “no, no, the Crucible was a success! The Reapers were defeated! The Crucible had to have worked, it had to. What else could have sent Anderson and me to this world?” She was adamant in her claims, yet that seed of doubt strengthened. The Chief took a moment time to adjust his headdress as he weighed his next words carefully.
“Many years ago, my great, great, great,…my distant ancestors abandoned,” he swept a hoof across the desert around him, “these ancient stomping grounds to live amongst the ponies as equals. We shared the pursuit of magic and science, to lift our selves above nature with thrones dedicated to our own ambitions. The goddess of the sun…,”
“Princess Celestia.” Little Strong Heart eagerly inserted.
“…was most benevolent in welcoming our kin into her kingdom. I hear that there are still great works of art and architecture made by buffalo hooves standing in the Royal City…,”
“Canterlot.” Strong Heart, again, amended.
“…to this day.”
“Canterlot? Don’t you mean Camelot?” Anderson inquired, subconsciously scratching his stubble.
“Sure, they may sound alike,” the lanky buffalo laughed, “but Camelot is the capital city of the camels in Humpbackistan, right next to Saddle Arabia.” Her explanation failed to address why the two Alliance soldiers smiled.
“It’s only a model.” Anderson started.
“It is a silly place.” Shepard finished, leaving the Chief and his daughter confused.
“You were warned about the Reapers, and yet you eventually returned to old traditions. Why?” Anderson inquired as he took another bite of the mush that was called food before noticing that Shepard had yet to even touch hers.
“Commander, you’re not eating?”
“I ate earlier, remember?” She waved with casual panache, recalling the yucca she’d nibbled before. Her stomach chose that moment to speak otherwise, letting out an audible groan. She austerely grinned and ignored the pain, not realizing she was flashing her slicing incisors and pointed canines for all to witness. Several of the bison instinctively retreated from the sight of the pony’s unnatural meat cutting teeth. Whether through ignorance or willpower, the Chieftain and his daughter refused to allow any reaction.
“It was the only way to avoid destruction. The prophet warned us of the avarice of dividing ourselves from the earth. Thus the ancestors were compelled to return to our stomping grounds and the olden traditions.” Thunder Hooves finished.
“I see. So they were convinced that the Reapers could be placated into seeing your race as a non-threat by regressing to a more prim…to a less advanced state and avoiding the development of advanced technology.” The human concluded just as he was given his turn at the calumet.
“It is as you say.” The chief nodded in conformation.
“Alright, maybe I can believe you learned about me and humans from this,” Shepard angrily tapped on the black box for emphasis, “but where did you find it and furthermore why has the power core been removed? You can’t access the database without it.”
“Patience Shepard, I am coming upon that,” Thunder Hooves set the mare’s hoof aside, “It was Chief Igneous Red that opened our eyes to the truth. He was a learned shaman who loved the earth and wished to study all of its secrets.”
“In other words, he was a geologist.” His daughter translated yet again, this time earning an annoyed scowl from him.
“One day he and several others of similar teachings…”
“The story mentioned a pony archeologist who had dreamed of finding rare and powerful artifacts.” Strong Heart vibrated like a fervent schoolgirl eager to prove herself, “and, and, and, the stories say there was a griffin with them as well. A biologist, I believe is the modern Equestrian word for it.”
“Ah, yes…those…” Thunderhooves intended to say more but surrendered the spotlight to his daughter since she was bursting with excitement.
“Three buffalo set out one day to cross the badlands. They wanted to explore the undiscovered territories that lay beyond the Equestrian border. Few would have been brave enough to travel a harsh wasteland where a terrible war had been fought against Discord and his magic” Heart’s initial enthusiasm became tempered at the mention of the god of chaos.
“They discovered the ruins of a long dead civilization,” the bison leader interjected, “located deep within the heart of the wastes. It was within those ruins that they found the codex.” He gently placed the time capsule in the dirt for all to see. “A wellspring of knowledge left behind by the prophet Liara.”
“It changed everything,” Strong Heart continued, “the codex revealed the existence of life beyond our plane of existence. Of the humans, their designs, their technology, and that they had to flee when their enemy came for them.”
“I can imagine that such a discovery must have caused quite a stir.” Anderson passed the calumet along.
“That it did. Tensions rose between the ponies, griffins, dragons, minotaurs, and our own kin over who had the dominant claim to the codex’s secrets. The end result was a terrible conflict that lasted many years. The sun goddess, in her infinite wisdom, decided that the world was not yet ready for such knowledge. She gave Chief Igneous Red one part of the codex and the other half to the Griffins, before ordering the human ruins to be sealed off and placed under the watchful eye of Equestria’s royal guard.” The large bison slumped as if under a terrible weight.
“Igneous Red’s piece of the codex is our gift to you, Shepard. Keep it close, keep it safe.” The bison hooved over what at first looked like half of a square. Upon receiving it she realized that the device was more like half of a laptop, and all she needed was the lower half. Lacking pockets she passed the device over to Anderson, who attached it to his tool belt.
“Sadly, we can do little else to help you, but I can show you the path ahead.”
“What path would that be?” Shepard felt more than a little worried. If the disparate races of this planet already knew, even a fraction, of the details concerning the Reapers then why were the species at odds with each other and locking the knowledge away? Hadn’t they gotten the hint that they needed a united front to stand a fighting chance against the machines?
“Go to the Royal City and speak with the Sun Goddess.” The Chief continued despite Shepard’s hesitance, “she will want to know of your return. It will be your first step, to convince her and the griffins to relinquish their holds the other pieces of the codex you seek. You must show the world that the ancient enemy of a million eyes may return.”
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
Conversation around the campfire had turned to more relaxing subjects. Most of it was the Alliance soldiers listening intently as the buffalo regaling them with simple stories of everyday life on the prairie, traveling across the stomping grounds and occasionally finding landmarks of odd or surreal nature. Meanwhile Anderson demonstrated his sharpshooter skills using his pistol to shoot several rocks posed as targets. Shepard also was also granted an opportunity to show off her biotic skills in a more controlled fashion, to the cheers and hollers of the buffalo. Laughs and smiles were shared until the sun passed it apex, afterwards the buffalo shared their secret to foraging in the wild for food, water, and other basic necessities.
Shepard and Anderson followed closely; learning all they could till the sun had begun to disappear past the mountains.
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
All of the teepees at the camp were big enough to comfortably accommodate two buffalo apiece. Anderson and Shepard had found themselves both sharing the same tent, which turned out to be double the size and set aside for important guests. Their inquiries revealed that they had been granted VIP access to the Chief’s own personal teepee. Naturally, they both had tried to turn down the favor, but surrendered once the Chief had made it clear that it would be a great dishonor of they refused.
The flap of the teepee was similar to hand stitched canvas, and was secured by several cloth laces threaded through holes in the material. The doctor’s stolen bag was thrown into a corner and the bed sheets were cleaned and neatly folded. Exhausted the soldier and vanguard laid the sheets out and settled for a quick night’s rest, accompanied by the sounds of crickets, snoring bison, and the odd nocturnal bird letting out is mating call. The two of them shared a silent moment that stretched into a single minute, and then passed ten, yet neither would yield to the other, until the mare in the room couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“Permission to speak freely, sir.” Shepard finally opened up, though she spoke with no emotion. Her inner thoughts tortured by so many questions; clutching her dog tags to her chest.
“Granted.” Anderson replied with equal detachment.
“I’ve been thinking about something, Chief Thunder mentioned it before, but it has me worried. He said ‘many, many generations,’ and could be…,” she hesitated, taking a moment to steel her resolve. “could it mean we’ve not only been transported to a new world, but also into the future? It makes sense since Liara seeded those time capsules recently, but the Chief talks about them like it was hundreds of years ago. Would this mean the Alliance is…what about my crew? Edi, Joker, Grunt? What about Garrus? We had plans…we were going to be…”
“Commander,” Anderson quietly broke her out of her downward spiral; sitting up as he did so, “as compelling as their story is, it’s still filled with unverifiable accounts and hearsay. I don’t doubt their sincerity, but all we have to go on is a mix of religious fanaticism, folklore, and very little evidence. Let’s not come to any conclusions until we learn more.”
“The evidence seems pretty damning to me.” She ran a hoof over the broken codex. Her ears were limp and her mane seemed it had lost some of its fiery color.
“Shepard,” Anderson pulled a hand through his graying hair, “maybe it is, and maybe it isn’t. Either way, we’re here and we must press on, if not for us, then for their sake.” The human could not stop the humorous chuckle, “besides I wonder what Garrus would have to say about being married to a living deity?” That got a smile out of Shepard.
“He’d call it bullshit, pun intended.”
“Then what do you recommend we do, Commander?”
“That…we should keep our eyes and ears open. If the Illusive man is out there we need to be ready and get ready to meet royalty.”
“Agreed, so we’ll make our way towards Canterlot; see if we can talk to the princesses and get access to the colony ruins. Find out which planet we’re on and how far we are from Alliance space.”
“Possibly find the salvage we need to build that transmitter. Weapons and armor too if we’re lucky.”
“For nowI think we should get some rest. We have a long road ahead of us.” The Admiral lowered himself back down, back still facing his subordinate. The previous days fatigue and mental strain was quickly catching up and his eyes grew heavy; slowly drifting off into quiet slumber.
“Anderson…” Her quiet murmur of his name deprived him of silent slumber, just for a moment.
“Something else on your mind, Commander?”
“Thanks…,” she released a tense breath, “for stopping me.”
“You’re one hell of a soldier and…well, I would’ve hated to lose you like that. So since we’re going to be stuck here for some time, it’d be best if we both take it easy. I think we’ve both earned deserved vacation.” He turned to give her a reassuring pat on the back.
“Is that an order?” She asked curiously.
“Do I need to make it one?”
“No,…no you don’t. It is about time I started cashing in all those vacation hours, anyway.” The color in her mane was returning as her speech grew stronger, “I had been hoping for someplace warm and tropical, but roughing it in the middle of freezing desert will do in a pinch. How about you?”
“Anywhere that has booze and lots of it.” He replied.
“I did find a nice little bar in town,” She shuffled back a touch, enjoying the sensation of shared body heat, “I’m sure you could, as ‘living legend,’ convince them to a couple of free rounds.”
“This legend,” he emphasized the word with strident sarcasm, “would much rather collect his retirement check and ride quietly into the sunset.”
“Hey,” she feigned offense, “just because I’m a pony now doesn’t mean I’m about to carry your ass into said sunset.”
“Perish the thought. I prefer my steed to be a majestic stallion, and not a sassy loudmouth.”
“Heh.” The Commander snickered as her tail eagerly flipped back and forth. It made her look so adorable that it was easy to forget that there was a trained killer and biotic powerhouse underneath it all.
“So much for a first-contact situation.” He coughed.
“We fubar-ed that one up the ass.” She nonchalantly agreed.
“I hate politics.” Anderson took a moment to scratch his chin stubble.
“Your not alone this time,” she pointed a hoof at herself, “does the phrase, ‘the entire galaxy united,’ remind you of anyone?”
“No offense, but your idea of diplomacy frequently involves punching people and shouting at them. Not the best way to spend a vacation.”
“That’s the beauty of it.” Her grin turned wicked. “Give me a loaded gun and a room full of politicians and just watch me unwind.” The two of them continued to trade shots back and forth until blissful sleep eventually claimed them.
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
The Citadel council was in session. The central chambers was one of the few places where real pants were allowed to grow naturally. The design was laid out to better resemble a casual Sunday trip to the park for picnics and sandwiches. In reality it was home to numerous and frequent groups who had nothing better to do than argue all day about political matters and machinations.
There was a loud thump as the chamber doors blew apart as mare Shepard marched in with a pistol in one hoof and her omni-blade over the other.
EXPLOSIONS!
In the back a man named Conner let out a fan girlish squeal of delight, before fainting into a pile of instant noodles; with sauce. Without question or regard Shepard charged into the room with a reckless abandon spouting as the assembled politicians trembled in fear.
EVEN MORE EXPLOSIONS!!
“This cold war just got hot.”
“It’s tool time.”
DOUBLE SUN POOWWWEEEEEEEERRRR!!!
“Show me yours tough guy; bet mine’s bigger.”
“Knife to see you.”
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
“F$%*” Shepard swore as she bolted straight up out of her dream. Apart from her outburst, nothing else was disturbed or out of place. “That’s the last time I smoke before bed.”
(…………………………………………………………………………………………)
“Father? Can I talk with you?” Little Strong Heart was feeling frightened and uncertain as she entered the patriarch’s tent. The makeshift hovel was largely unadorned and filled with indica smoke as the Chief continued to use the calumet. A small wooden box sat discarded at his hooves, it had once been used to safeguard the codex, but now it laid empty, apart from a slip of folded brown paper.
“Ah, my daughter, I see you can’t sleep as well. What concerns you?” He spoke in a much softer pitch than before, more fatherly and gentle this time.
“Father…I have a something to tell you.” She sat down, staring him straight in the sockets.
“It has to do with our ‘guests,’ does it not?” He dumped the spent ashes out of the pipe bowl and stomped them out.
“Yes, I…” she stopped and meditated for a short time, controlling her breathing with a slow gentle rhythm. She had practiced what she had wanted to say in her head, but her throat chose to tighten in protest. No member of the tribe had done what she was about to do since Chief Red Igneous had delivered the buffalo back to their ancestor’s traditions.
“I went to Shepard’s tent…I wanted to talk to her, but I just listened.”
“I am disappointed that you would commit such a deed. It is disrespectful and dangerous."
“I know, I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but I heard her and Anderson say some things…and I’ve come to a decision.” Thunderhooves waited patiently while his daughter built up her courage. Then, with the pounce of a lion, she made her declaration clear.
“When Shepard leaves for Canterlot, I’m going with her.”
“My…my daughter!” He spluttered, like he’d been sideswiped by a locomotive’s cattle catcher. “You don’t mean to…”
“I do father, I’m leaving the tribe.” she said with a steel conviction.
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While I already knew what FUBAR and SNAFU meant, thanks to a US marine friend of mine and a brief stint in the Royal Australian Navy, it's good you included the meanings for those who don't already know.
I think I may of had seen this of FanFiction.net, and I'm glad to see that it got on here as well. Well, time to pick up where I left off, after Sherpard Who? Anyway, good job so far!
I loik er stoyal!
2146397 i would call it a neutral ending.
Steak, Liara. I think about when there's so much steak. I fucking love steak!
hmm... wasn't she pretty badly banged up (aka practically dead on her feet) in the Citadel, or as she was transported her wounds healed up? Anderson still has his gunshot wound, so I highly doubt that Shepard no longer has her wounds.
2146536 All of my lol
Best. Series. EVER 
dont worry shepard you did defeat the reapers. But time eventually erases all things. so whats most likely to have happened is that you have gone so far into the future that all the races that you knew about have died off. Also I beat the ruins are ether the N7 training fucility or edin prime, or the alliance navel command on earth.
I'm going to giggle if the threat ISN'T the Reapers. Gonna be like "galaxy is in danger because Krogan swarm now, trololo" and Shepherd is going to facehoof SO HARD.
Can we haz Rachni or Geth?
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to the new chapters.
I can just imagine Shepard meeting Pinkie Pie
LOL so snafu and fubar as things are normaly fo shepered.... And asari and krogen live long time Liara might still be around if not her daughters would be... and you know grunt and wex are to stubern to die with out frist haveing drinks with shepered and trading storys.
please let Legion be in the ruins. Shepard walks in and legions just standing there, it would be preciless, or EDI
To my great surprise, I am really enjoying this crossover.
Keep it up!
Shepard must be going "Whisky Tango Foxtrot" about now.
\ba-dum-tssh
2147390 EDI. Legion is kinda pointless since he sacrificed himself for geths ascension to actual beings not programs.
‘I don’t know how you do it. You’ve always stayed focused, even in the worst situations.’
‘When there’s so much at stake, I think about the people I’d lose if I failed.’ had been Shepard’s honest, if simple, reply.Steak, Liara. I think about when there's so much steak.
1:19
Definitely worth upvoting. Also, favorited and followed.
Cool! A new squad member!
Another great chapter. I did know what fubar meant, but I didn't know about snafu. Thanks for that.
2150363 First of all, no idea why would you spend too much money on fuel. Oh well.
Second, there are indeed three choices in the finale. You get different options depending on your readiness rating, and these options yield different results, which range from every single human on Earth dying to all synthetics and organics truly uniting. I think, there are around 9? possible endings.
2148311 EDI, or maybe some geth that were from the collective that the geth named Legion was from.
2146807If that were to happen, I would seriously hope that Shepard would be remembered by them as either their greatest hero(the only person greater than Urdnot Wrex) or their worst enemy. This Shepard seems like she would have aided the Krogan and Mordin cure the Genophage.
2150632Hey! That isn't funny! Tali had serious issues after having sex with Garrus. She was coughing and hacking everywhere. Remember children, use protection!
I can't believe I forgot to fave this story. I got a notice about a reply over here and I saw two or three updates.
This is why I need to read durimg the day and not whwn I should sleep.
2146428Might wanna throw in a certain reporter as well. I just love her 'interviews' with Shepard.
2150822
I shall wear it with pride!
“That’s the beauty of it.” Her grin turned wicked. “Give me a loaded gun and a room full of politicians and just watch me unwind.”
That line alone made this chapter worth reading.
This is...nice
When's the new chapter coming out?
Hmmm, not bad really; I actually like what you've done here with this Mass Effect crossover. I like how you've tried to stay neutral on the events of the series, and I also appreciate how you've chosen to make Shepard morally neutral as well. Some things here and there I find a little out of left field though; take the Bison's cultural and seemingly technological regressions. They're not bad, just different. But there is one major issue that I see: Who's the 'Big Bad Wolf'? Can we see some Sovereign or Illusive Man levels of evilness? Or is this going to be an over due vacation that Shepard and Anderson always wanted?
Update?
2413102
Ah i see! i don't have that...only activated game and i play in offline mode
Update?
Heh, no good spots to describe the usual shep approach after things get bad, TARFUN? But this is just enjoyable, and really hope your muse helps you so. My hats off to you!
LMAO loved the horrible one liners
Haha... Nice bit of recall from them. The Crucible did nothing more than throw them across time.
I can believe that, actually.
~Skeeter The Lurker
My reaction to this chapter was basically "OMG it's all starting to make sense now. but my god if Shepard is in the futur or something it's gonna suck balls."
That all said, I like very much where this is going. I was confused up until this point as to why he was considered a chooser of death or life or whatever as Buffalo had said.
“Go to the Royal City and speak with the Sun Goddess.” The Commander’s vision was filled with the Chieftain’s somber countenance, “she will want to know of your return. Your first step to convince her and the griffins to relinquish their holds the other pieces of the codex you seek. You must show the world that the ancient enemy may return.”
Now THIS sounds like an adventure of truly epic proportions!!!
:
I can't WAIT to see what happens next!!:-)
3015303 (jokingly) Says the guy with Aku as his avatar?"
Hitting reporters is always fun.
So I'm looking at this ad under your story showing three mice. One of them says, 'the most cringe worthy animal puns.' And that's it. It's so odd and oddly relevant that I need to express my confusion.
"Adrenaline and rage skill pumped through her veins"
'still' might fit better
"a series felony"
'serious'
"Doubly so with unimportant"
I believe 'where' is the correct word, not 'with'
"for a moment their met"
missing a word here. I'm guessing eyes from the context. Or gaze...
Well, that's about all I noticed... and about your military terms, I have but one word.
TARFUBAR! (Shepard's usual situation)
I like how you included the ending with the Normandy. That's clever, wonder what state the old girl is in.
Yes! That's great advice!
Getting onto contact with the Equestrians, arguably the dominant regional power, if not global, is the first very important step. Getting to see the Mane 6 is also great.
Also, the mystery of the messages left by the humans is, well, intriguing. I shall have to see where this goes.
Loving the re-write. While your core story is the same, the details and interactions around it have noticably improved. Well done.
Also a quick error I spotted, just missing the space between words.
Shegave
10769253
I wondered if my updates had been effective in improving the story, and yet, kept the central themes the same. Thank you for the feedback, I needed to hear that.
And I fixed that spacing error, good eye spotting that.