Deep in the everfree forest, in the long-abandoned Castle of the Two Sisters, a dark force stirred, and prepared. Nightmare Moon is back, and plans to bring about eternal night once more! However, something is off. Her normally nebulous galaxy of a mane is instead just locks of dark blue hair, and her onyx fur is lacking its normal luster.
This is because she had to recreate her body, using up almost all of the power she had gathered since the accursed Elements of Harmony tore her and her old self, Luna, apart an unknown years ago. Hard to keep track of time when you don’t have a body, or any conventional means to experience the material world. All that she can be sure of, is that doppelganger the Elements created is still around, and generally healthy.
She knows this because there is a connection between them, for all the differences between them, they were once one and the same. Nightmare Moon could only guess that he counterpart hasn’t noticed the connection, for surely if she did, they would not have left her alone for the past month that she has had a body, resting and preparing for the next step of her new plan.
For there is a problem, she is weak. Even in the month she has been back, mostly resting, she isn’t much stronger than her Sister’s - Nightmare Moon mentally snarled at the thought of her - protege. The purple unicorn - Trixie or something, she’s sure it began with a T at least- was certainly powerful, but she was just that, a unicorn. Leagues below Celestia and her. Shouldn’t have gone easy on her. Shouldn’t have underestimated her. Nightmare Moon mentally berated herself. While she was indeed comparatively weak after breaking her seal and taking care of her sister - She STILL doesn’t take me seriously. Wouldn’t even put up a fight, just sat there while I sealed her. - she should have still been able to annihilate her and her friends, but instead she tried to scare them off, or break them up such that they would not be able to wield the Elements. That plan backfired horribly, and by the time she stepped up her game, the Elements were in their grasp and she was as good as defeated.
This brings her back to what she’s doing now. She needs a way to get her power back even faster than otherwise, for while she could hide out for a couple decades as her power returns, it not only grated at her pride, but increased the chance of Luna noticing the connection between them, as her end got stronger. So as soon as she got her body back, and had the power to do so, she started scouring the library for any useful information, old spells or forgotten rituals that were locked away for various reasons. She found several things already, but none of them of use to her, requiring things she did not have, or things she’s not willing to sacrifice.
However, she found one. Instructions for a ritual to summon a powerful familiar and bind them together. Having a familiar had many upsides for a Mage, including a guardian to protect them, a servant to aid them, and more importantly here, as a magical focus. Lesser familiars serve mainly as a pool a mage can store magic in and retrieve later, while stronger ones could actually help in spell-crafting. However there is a grade above that, for very powerful familiars not only serve the previously stated functions, but increases the power of the mage as well, and accelerate their growth.
There is a down-side however. In that the binding goes both ways, and if one’s familiar is too strong, it could take over. This was one of the reasons why familiars fell out of style, and was a risk Nightmare Moon was willing to take however.
The ritual was rather intricate, involving complex runes drawn in the casters blood - another reason Familiars fell out of style. Modern mages are a bunch of wimps. Back before the creation of Equestria, while she and Celestia were exploring the world, blood rituals while few were not that uncommon - and candles placed just so. Those were arguably the hardest part, having to sneak into towns and steal them while lacking most of her magic.
There was another part of this ritual that was different from usual rituals however. Unlike the normal binding ritual for Familiars, and the reason this one was locked away, was despite all the intricate set-up, it does not take any magic at all from the caster. This is because, unlike almost all other rituals and spells, the work is not being done by the caster, but something else. What is very poorly understood, and through the ritual they are, for the lack of a better term, making a bargain with this unknown entity. In exchange for a fair sized chunk of power - and should the caster lack sufficient power, it would be more than happy to take something else, something precious to you - it will give you a powerful familiar to aid you in your goal, whatever it might be. Nightmare hoped she had enough power, how much was not thoroughly described, but her desire was great enough that she would be willing to put up with such sacrifice.
Everything in place, Nightmare took a calming breath, and with a stomp of her hoof, activated the ritual by speaking words of an unknown language “Bi amidral, ükhliin Khaalga ni üzegchdiin urialj baina. Minii möröödöl biyelüülekhed tuslamj khariud ni minii amidral, minii biye sanal bolgoj baina.” With the last syllable uttered, Nightmare suddenly found herself unable to move, paralyzed. Slowly, a large set of intricately carved stone slabs shimmered into being before her in the center of the circle, before they opened like a gate, revealing a deep blackness. Then, in that blackness, a number of slitted eyes opened and gazed at her, and she could feel them gazing into her very soul, judging her worth. Then, after what felt like days, a deep voice that sounded like it came from all directions sounded out “Offer accepted.” Then, out of the darkness sprang a number of black and rushed at Nightmare, who was unable to move as they darted past her head on either side, and wrapped around the base of her wings, before violently RIPPING them out, Nightmare unable to even so much as scream, before retreating with their prize back into the darkness. Then, once they were gone with her wings, the eyes closed and disappeared, before the doors slowly swung shut, and the gate shimmered out of existence, leaving behind a short hunched over figure on the floor. Nightmare was unable to investigate it further however, was as soon as the door was gone she collapsed to the floor screaming in pain.
Alex stirred, and this confused him greatly. Ever since his “defeat” at the hands of Heller, all he could experience was darkness. No, darkness was not accurate enough, nothingness. There was a spanse of nothingness in between Heller and now, a nothingness that defied any measure of time. He could have been there a second, or eons. As consciousness slowly returned to him - and wasn’t that a odd concept, he rarely ever sleeps, and even then he was woke up he came awake instantly - , and his senses expanded and he became aware of the sound of hoof-steps a small distance away from him, and they reverberated oddly. Out of habit, used a skill picked up from a bat in a castle in Europe, and let out a soft, high pitched chirp unhearable to almost any creature but himself, and was flooded with detail when it returned. He was apparently sitting in a bedroom of sorts, a stone one at that, judging by the how cleanly the sound reverberated. As consciousness further returned, he opened his eyes, and confirmed what his ears told him. A stone bed-room with a rather fancy looking four poster bed, various book-shelves, and a number of other things you would expect to find in a bed-room, all decorated in various shades of blue or black, with some silver trimming. He himself was situated cross-legged on a blue pillow in one of the corners of the room. Though, while clear of dirt or dust, it all looked aged, like it was sitting there for a couple centuries. Alex tilted his head, and let out another chirp, this one low pitched, again well below human hearing. Low-pitched sounds aren’t as good for clear pictures as high-pitched ones, but are more able to penetrate walls. What he got back confirmed his suspicions, he got a fuzzy picture of a large series of more stone rooms, all surrounded by open air, and with such information concluded he was in a castle of sorts.
Preliminary investigation done, he turned his head to the hoof-steps, having gotten closer, and currently situated on the other side of the door to this room. Right on cue, the door pushed open and in walked a black unicorn with a blue mane. Its mid-section was heavily wrapped in bandages, the top of which were starting to turn pink.
“What the fuck.” he mumbled to himself, accurately surmising his opinion of the situation.
The Unicorn turned its head towards him and spoke “Good, you’re awake, I thought I felt something. I was beginning to get worried that that thing left me with a useless familiar.”
Before she could go any farther, Alex interrupted her (guessing by the tone of her voice, and the shape of her body. Knowing some animals, it could be a male) “What the fuck are you?”
The black unicorn was obviously not expecting that, backing up several steps in surprise. “You can talk! Quite crudely too. That is quite rare. I guess I wasn’t cheated after all.” She said, sounding quite displeased when mentioning his language. She then trotted over to her bed and laid down on it facing him, trying to act like the wounds on her back weren’t bothering her, she’s good too, if Alex was anyone else he might have been fooled. “This certainly makes some things, especially till we get use to each other. Now, I have some questions which I think I’m entitled to, considering I paid with my wings to get you.”
“Your wings?” Alex asked, still quite lost. He’s usually more on the ball than this, but then again, usually he isn’t having conversations with black unicorns.
“Yes” Blacky replied, throwing a sad look over her shoulder towards the red spots on her bandages. “They were the price to get you as my familiar, and hopefully you will turn out to be worth it. While you aren’t the most… powerful looking creature, I rather hope I got something good for such a price.” She finished, giving Alex a evaluating look.
Alex almost had to stifle a laugh “Yeah, I’m powerful alright.”
Still giving him a evaluating look, she asked “What ARE you exactly? In all my travels, I have never seen a creature like you. Your upper appendages and torso are reminiscent of a minotaur, however the face and legs are wrong. And if you were one, you would be the scrawniest minotaur I have ever seen.Even their kids have more muscle than you.”
Alex smirked “Whatever I want to be.” He replied, in what he thought was a vague answer.
Apparently it was less vague than he hoped. “You are a shape-shifter then? Would certainly explain your weird look.”
Alex’s smirk faded, surprised she actually believed that. Do they have shape-shifters here, wherever they are. “Of a sort.”
“Hmm.” Blacky let out a thoughtful hum, still looking him up and down.
After a moment of silence, Alex prompted “And since I answered your question, why don’t you answer mine? What are you?”
“I am a Alicorn. More specifically, I am Nightmare Moon, Rightful Queen of Equestria!” The newly dubbed ‘Moony’ replied, voice full of pride and smugness, obviously expecting Alex to be impressed.
For his part, all he did was lift a eyebrow, and give a teasing smirk before replying “So I’m in the presence of deposed Royalty. I guess this is a honor, Moony.”
At hearing that, all of the pride fell off Moony’s face, before giving him a rather fierce glare. “My name is Nightmare Moon. I will not accept you calling me by anything else, except maybe ‘Your Highness’, ‘Your Majesty’ or even ‘Master’. But, under no circumstances, can you call me Moony.” She replied, voice dripping with anger.”
Alex being Alex, just smiled bigger, before replying “Whatever you say, Moony.”
The surrounding forest was filled with excessive yelling for the next half hour.
This insufferable creature! Nightmare mentally fumed. If she had the strength, she would put it in its place. However, the ritual to summon it took not just her wings, but all the power she gathered as well. It has been three days since she summoned it, and she only just has gotten enough power to walk around the castle, and even then she was drained afterwards. And, in those three days, the creature didn’t move once besides when she was miraculously able to drag it to her old bedroom. She had gotten rather worried, till during one of her exercise walks she felt something in her mind. A Familiar and a Mage share a connection that allow for sharing of thoughts and power, however the one between her and her familiar is still immature, so currently all she could tell was it was coming awake. With all the speed she could muster - a slightly faster than normal walk - she hurried back to her room to check on her familiar.
This brings her back to the present, her laying huffing and puffing on her bed staring at her insubordinate familiar. It had insisted on calling her that insufferable nickname, and seemed to only draw pleasure from her anger. Nightmare tried to intimidate it and command it to cease, but all that ultimately did was drain the little energy she had left after her walk.
Her familiar raised an eyebrow at that, and commented “You must be pretty out of shape to be so exhausted just by yelling at me.”
“Due to recent events I have lost most of my power, “ she huffed “ and the ritual took what little I had left. So… “ She paused taking a few more deep breaths “So I have to regain my power.”
“Hmm.” Her familiar hummed thoughtfully, rubbing it chin, and then said “You keep calling me your familiar. Explain what that means.”
“Well,” she began, having regained her breath, “a familiar is a creature bound to a mage, and is meant to serve, and defend the mage when needed.”
“Yeah, fuck that.” With that bit of course language it stood up on surprisingly thin legs, and turned to the door. “I don’t work for no-one lady.”
“What!?” Nightmare darted to her hooves in panic. “Don’t go!” And right then, her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed to the ground.
Her familiar just looked down at her with a blank face for a moment before saying “Normally, I’d eat you-” at that she froze, eyes widening while all the blood rushing away from her face in fright “- but I’m feeling lenient. Now I’m leaving, don’t try to stop me.” With that, he turned around, open the door, walked out, and closed it.
Nightmare stayed like that for several long seconds, unable to even think in face of what just happened. Her familiar just left her. Didn’t even have it for a week, not even a hour since it woke up, and it just left her. The familiar she lost her wings for left her. Her last hope of achieving her dreams, and it left. Nightmare Moon started to cry.
Alex stood outside outside the castle, facing a conundrum. Namely, a emotion he is largely unfamiliar with and has only felt with one other person before, guilt. It was ever so slight, but it was there, which confused him greatly.
As always with such situations, the voices in his head were no help.
Pushing the matter aside for now, he continued on his way, for a casual stroll through the surrounding forest and ultimately to see what there is to see. He always could just run, that would get him around so much faster, or jump and see all there is to see from up high. But neither of those thoughts appealed to him, for they were way too quick, and quite frankly, Alex wasn’t quite sure what to do now, and wanted the time to think.
For what WAS there to do. He had already accomplished all of his goals of his old life, all the ones that mattered to him anyways. Blackwatch was going to collapse within a week after his management of it, filling it with psychopaths and generally making it do so many unsavory things, and then arranging for the world’s greatest leak to ensure that it would be shut down completely and utterly, and a good number of their agents thrown into jail if not executed for their crimes. Dana was safe, or at least as safe as he could get her, with Heller. While the man’s a brute and a idiot, with language that would make Dana blush, he was still sorta a nice guy. He wouldn’t abandon her. He even took a crack at saving the world, to try to quiet that feeling of Noblesse Oblige, and while he didn’t succeed, he did leave someone else with the ability to do so, so it’s not Alex’s responsibility anymore.
He stopped for a moment observe a Manticore - which are apparently a thing here, wherever here was. It’s certainly not Earth, a quick glance at the night sky confirmed that - sleeping in a cave, having not heard Alex’s silent approach. Alex suppose he could travel the world, seeing what there was to see, and while the thought held some interest, Alex felt it wasn’t the answer. For what would he do after he’s seen all there was to see? He would be back to where he was now, with no idea of what to do next. And he rather doubted he would somehow wind up on a third world with more to see.
A quick strike to the neck finished off the manticore, before Alex dug in, observing the collected DNA for interesting developments and sequences. The poison was rather interesting, striking and neutralizing a targets nervous system, simultaneously removing their ability to run, and breath leading to a slow painful death if the Manticore didn’t do it itself. But ultimately nothing he didn’t already have. It's the wings that truly interested him, why in the world did it have wings? Or why did Moony claim to having had some as well? Unless the wings were absolutely massive, and in the manticore’s case it wasn’t, they should not be able to produce enough lift to glide let-alone take off. However no matter how he looked at the sequence, they were normal wings.
This annoyed Alex, not liking something defying explanation, even though he admitted he was one such case. He should not be able to do what he does, yet somehow he is able to pack together flesh to a impossible density, and somehow decrease his mass for limited periods of time without decreasing how much of him there was, and he has no idea how the Hive-mind works despite having extensive personal and ‘donated’ experience with it.. This also annoyed him greatly.
Turning the majority of his attention back to the real world, he found himself nearing the edge of the forest, and when he reached it he stopped and looked around. He could see a short distance away a hamlet, or maybe a village, it might be big enough. Off to one side was a GIANT Tree, towering over the hamlet. However, the buildings looked off, squatter than you would expect of a house, a normal sized guy would have to constantly be ducking their heads inside them, and have to double over to get through the doors, so definitely too small for Alicorns.
Thinking back on the conversation with Moony, Alex guessed that based on the fact that she wasn’t overly surprised he could talk, only moderately so, that Alicorns aren’t the only intelligent species, and as such this hamlet must be of some other species.
Then when his eyes strayed a short distance up, and noticed a cloud house, that sealed it. He was going in for a closer look. Creeping into town, Alex shifted his form to that of a cat, to be less noticeable. Into the closest building he went, and in one of the rooms he discovered a mint green, diminutive Alicorn with a harp tattoo on his butt, though how tattoos work through fur he has no idea.. Or, as further investigation discovered, a Unicorn perhaps, given the fact that she neither had wings, nor did it look like she had any scars on her back where they might have been. In another room he found a tan horse-like creature lacking both horns and wings, and had purple and blue stripes through its mane. It looked similar to a pony, though its a proportions were off, Alex decided to call it a Pony for lack of a better term.
And so Alex went, taking quick tours of most of the buildings in town, and discovering more Unicorns and Ponies, and even a number of Pegasi. The last building he visited, that he was a bit surprised to discover was infact a building, and it was the giant tree. A good bit of it was hollowed out, into a rather large mansion. That wasn't the most interesting part however, it was the fact that it was way bigger inside than it had any right to be. Another annoying fact Alex had to tuck away before it annoyed him too much. Exploring this tree-turned-mansion, Alex was rather happy to find it had its own library, filled with books, and was further pleasantly surprised to find they used English for their writing. While consumption was a better method of information gathering by far, Alex has come to the decision that he will take things easy this time, go about things the slow way. As such, he liberated himself a good number of promising sounding books, turned back to human to help him carry it all, and made his way out just as the sun was rising. So as to not be seen, he poured on a bit of speed, and was hidden in the forest before anyone saw him.
Nightmare Moon laid on her bed, having crawled back there a hour or so after her familiar left her. She was morosely wondering what she is suppose to do now. Even at her strongest, she was at best a match for Celestia if she fought seriously, and now it wouldn’t be just Celestia she would have to fight, but her doppelganger Luna as well, and while she might not be as strong or vicious as Nightmare use to be, she isn’t a pushover either. And it’s only just a matter of time till her counterpart noticed their connection, so she wouldn’t even have her full strength. She put her all in this plan, to get a familiar to help her, fight along side her, spend time with her. She sacrificed all of her left over power, and even lost her wings for this plan, and it fell through immediately.
Nightmare was broken out of her somber contemplations by a tingle in the back of her mind. It was something she remembered feeling once before, only a couple of hours ago. Her head popped up and stared at the door hopefully, when it opened and in came her familiar.
“Hey, I got bored and I-” He was cut off after Nightmare practically pounced on him and gave him a giant hug.
After a few seconds, she heard him grind out. “Get. Off.” At that, realizing what she did, she hurriedly backed off, blushing.
“Sorry, I was just so happy you came back.” She replied.
He just glared at her for a moment, causing her sink further into the ground, before saying “As I was saying. I got bored, and decided I might as well help you till I find something better to do.”
Nightmare didn’t know what to say or do, her emotions and feelings all tangled up after the events of the past few days.
Just then her familiar turned around and headed toward the door saying “I’m going to explore the castle, while you get rest. You are exhausted, and we can’t get stuff done with you like that.”
“Wait!” She called out, causing him to pause and look over his shoulder at her questioningly “Well… I don’t know your name.”
He just smirked again, and kept walking for a moment before calling over his shoulder “I’m Alex.”
Alex sat in the castle’s library - apparently he didn’t have to steal those from that tree mansion - reading through a book on Equestrian history. It had been about ten hours since he left Moony’s room, so he was expecting her to get up sometime soon.
Almost on cue, the black alicorn came trotting in, with her refined and and imperious air back to her that she had when he first woke up, so he assumed she was able to get her emotions mostly under control. Good, emotions make it hard to work efficiently, and requires more careful handling of the person to get the desired results.
“Greetings.” She said before taking a seat in a cushion across from him. “If you are going to be assisting me in taking back my throne, then it would behoove me to have an accurate assessment of your capabilities.”
Alex raised an eyebrow at that, considering how much he should tell. He decided he might as well hang around the mare and help her, considering he truly had no goals of his own. That said, he also won’t be helping to his full capabilities, because then things would be too easy. No matter what she wanted, money, fame, power, war, or revenge. Alex was sure that if he fully applied what he could do, things would probably be over before a full day had past, a week at MOST.
Considering this, he replied with a short answer. “No.” He likes messing with people.
“Excuse me?” Moony replied, offput by his negative response.
“I’m not going to tell you what I can do. I’m going to leave it a surprise.” He said, with his practiced smirk.
At that, Moony’s frown turned into a glare “You’re being obtrusive on purpose.” she stated.
In response he just shrugged and replied “If things are too easy, then they would be over and done with before you could have fun.”
Moony then grumpily turned her glare to the wall, seeing it was having no effect on Alex.
“Which brings me to a very important question. What is your goal? Hard to help you if I don’t know what you want.” Alex said.
Hearing this, Moony turned back to Alex and declared “I will bring about eternal night.” The way she was looking at him, she obviously was expecting him to be impressed, and Alex will again disappoint her.
All he did was raise his eyebrow once again, and commented “You never struck me as the genocidal type.”
Moony obviously wasn't expecting that, given how she almost fell to the floor, before recovering and looking at him with a bewildered look “What?”
“I assume you do know that plants need the sun to live. Causing eternal night would deprive the plants on this side of the Hemisphere of the sun, and they will die. Then all the animals who eat plants will die, having nothing to eat. Then all the animals who eat those animals will starve as well. In short order, almost everything will die.” he stated matter-of-factly.
Moony looked positively flabbergasted at hearing that. Then, in a small voice, she responded “I- I never thought-”
When she closed her eyes and a few tears slipped out, Alex couldn't help but roll his eyes. Seriously, what’s so objectionable about killing lots of people? “Right. Well, since we apparently aren't doing that, what then? What else do you want?”
“I- I don’t know.” Moony replied haltingly “That’s been my goal for the last 1000 years, I don’t know what else to do.”
“Take your time figuring it out. I got plenty to read.” Alex uncaringly replied, gesturing to the rest of the library, before returning his attention to the book in hand.
Nightmare sat in the Castle’s Library with her familiar, Alex, doing some introspection, trying to come to terms with herself.
Why DID I want eternal night? I know that plants need light, why did I never realize that? she thought to herself. She thought back to before she took on the name Nightmare Moon, and thought about how everypony adored her “perfect” Sister and her “wonderful” day, and shunning her and her night. She remembered pleading with her sister to let her night last a while longer, so that ponies might experience and come to love it like Celestia’s day.
Was that why I wanted the Night to last forever? So that they would have to experience it and its wonders and come to love it? And then, maybe me? That thought was certainly a blow to her pride, yet she couldn't say even to herself it’s untrue. So is that what I truly wanted? For ponies to like and appreciate me? She spent several long moments pondering on this, and found that it was true.
After affirming it a couple more times to be sure, she turned her attention back to her familiar, who was on his third book. “Alright,” she began softly, nervously “I think I figured out what I want.” Closing his book and turning his attention to her, he gestured for her to continue. “I- I want ponies to like me, to appreciate me.” She said, haltingly.
“Really? Is that it?” He replied, and Nightmare felt a swell of embarrassment and anger at him. “I was expecting something more actiony, like revenge or conquest, or usurping the current Queen and/or King. But whatever.”
Putting his book aside, he then leaned over, propping his upper appendages - arms she think they are called - on his knees. “Well, in that case, I need a history lesson. It’s gonna be hard to run PR when I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
“Well,” Nightmare began, suddenly feeling nervous again about sharing the details of her past. “As you know, I currently go by the name Nightmare Moon, but I use to be known as Luna…”
And so the History Lesson began.
In a Tree Castle, a pretty purple pony princess awoke. She sat up, stretched while letting out a giant yawn, and got out of bed. Looking in the mirror to see her mane is a mess as usual in the mornings, she cast a quick spell she made that instantly straightened her name and combed her coat. She so loved that spell. With that done, she trotted downstairs to her kitchen, where her number one assistant was making breakfast. On her way, however, she felt something off. Stopping, and turning around, she noticed a book missing from the nearby bookshelf, one from her personal collection.
“Spike! Have you been reading Equestria: A History!?
“Nope!” She heard from down the hall. “Why you ask!?” he yelled back, still in the kitchen.
“It’s missing!” She responded.
“Well, didn't you tag all your books with a spell to help you find them!?” He yelled questioningly
“Oh yeah.” She said softly to herself, before casting the locator spell. Following it, it lead her right to the window, where she was confused to find it indicating it was in the Everfree Forest. “What the hay?”
lots of promise
I agree, this shows promise.
Favourited and liked, good luck.
Same as all the others: shows promise. I'll keep an eye on this fic. Also, that's a lot of deleted comments there, bud.
Seems legit, can't wait for more.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
Hmm, good premise. Nightmare is a bit too whiny, not at all the imposing majesty she claims to be, and Alex is less abrasive and more sarcastic, which isn't really him. Also play through P1: He doesn't exactly strike me as the kind of guy to hold back out of sport or fun.
Strange how he can eat manticores, given that his strain was designed to break down human tissue, but he did eat a bird, so I guess he has some leeway. Though I doubt he could eat Nightmare even if he wanted, since it seems her new body is made entirely out of magic; she didn't bleed out from losing her wings, after all.
Speaking of which, you'd think Familiar Spells would magically bind them to your will; mind magic does exist, after all. And I think Nightmare Moon was aware of the whole eternal-night-kills-all thing; she's Luna driven mad with anger and jealousy after all, I think 'revenge on those who shunned' was kinda part of the deal. But that's getting into headcanon vs headcanon so meh.
Interesting fact, it wouldn't be the dying plants that would be the biggest part of eternal night, it'd be the dropping temperatures. It'd get very close to Absolute Zero, very fast. Earth's average temp is some 25 C, some 77 F. In 1 week it drops to 0 C, freezing point. Then it goes lower...
On a side note, WELCOME! Welcome to the wonderful world of writing fanfiction! A few problems here and there with not including an apostrophe for possessiveness, or a/an, and other such typos probably caused by your fingers flying faster than your mind. Eager to see what else you come up with; remember to add this yourself to any groups you think it belongs in.
Definitely going to like and favorite
This seems very interesting... I wonder how Changeling DNA would work with Blacklights abilitys...?
why are there four deleted comments on the first chapter? This does not bode well at all
And so the epic journey of Twilight leading her into the Gryphonian Empire begins, the epic journey at which end she realises that the book she did it for was after all the time in her library! Or atleast Alex put it back there during said journey, and sorry if I disappoint you, but from what is Alex?
EDIT:Fixed by looking into description: Prototype 2.
This story has got great potential to turn into something awesome. Keep it up.
5482502
5482957
5483396
Comments by people before the chapter was even fully submitted.
5482575
Recent times have been a bit emotional for her. Lets take a look at what has happened recently from her perspective,
Got kicked out of her body and replaced by a younger version of herself.
Is fresh off of her 1000 years on the moon, before which she was feeling rather shunned and that no one loved her or appreciated her
Lost her wings 3 days ago as a price to achieve said love and appreciation, and it seems like that sacrifice is in vain
Yeah, emotions are all twisty for her, and she got issues, including that anger and jealousy you mentioned. So emotions are all over the place.
I did. This isn't P1 Alex, but Post P2. He's been through life, and found that doing things to his full potential has those things over with way to fast. Even what he did in P2 wasn't all he could do, he was holding back a lot, despite completely owning everyone.
I'd think that would be leveled out by the fact the sun is shining continuously on the other side of the planet, rapidly raising temperatures there. That's assuming that Equis is spherical, at least.
Looking forward to more.
5483433 Ah, makes sense.
5482957
5483396 Yeah we were kind of messing around
5483433 in my headcanon, equis is a 4-sided pyramid
I will kill you if I have to wait for this to update.
Never mind. I'll inflict severe pain instead.
5484380 You know, pain makes it hard to type coherent sentences, let alone a good story.
5484542 Nightmares?
5484551 Reduced sleep and/or less restful sleep can have severe detrimental effects to one's cognitive abilities.
Pretty good story so far for a first shot, keep up the good work. Sure there are some errors in there, missing words that got left out and the like -or so I think, as sometimes I feel there is a word missing when there isn't so don't quote me on this-
Still very nice, I'll be watching this.
You have good recommendations, and I love this kind of story. I'll hold off on reading it until you post some more chapters, I don't feel as if one is a good judge of how you are as a writer. Please continue!
5484558
5484733 Coffee?
5484994 I don't drink coffee.
5485022 Tea?
5485273 Nope
Awesome chapter you are doing a amazing job I can't wait to see the next chapter
Just so you know, Nightmare Moon cannon wise never was Luna, but was rather a separate entity that took control of her, as shown via the official comics.
Anyways, back to reading the chapter. Other than what I just stated, the writing style at least looks good so far. I'll be able to judge better once I finish the chapter though.
5485453 I have read the comics, or at least the first 18, and no-where in them does it say that she wasn't. I know of the arc with her taking over Rarity, but all that proves is that she's separate NOW, and if anything, more strongly supports that she wasn't always a separate entity. Take a closer look at their conversations and wording, several bits do not make much sense if she was truly separate.
One bit I can think of off the top of my head, how worried Luna was that she would become Nightmare Moon again. In the case of possession, she shouldn't be worried, cause it's not like she would let NMM in again with honeyed words (unless she really is that weak willed), however if she became NMM on her own, the worry makes sense.
prototype crossovers are awesome
You need a better proofreader for another thing. Lots of grammar misusage, especially with using 'too' instead of 'to' as a common thing.
5485532 Considering all the proofreading it got was me doing my best when writing it, and Google Docs sometimes catching stuff, can't say you are wrong.
5485462 Not really. The possession occurred due to Luna having a weak heart, emotionally speaking. She succumbed to her negative emotions, which gave Nightmare the chance to take over. Heck, Nightmare is even the ruler of the nightmares.
However, it never was clarified what happened to Nightmare after the second defeat by Twilight and them. Never was confirmed to be dead.
5485572 A weak heart is quite clearly not enough, as is shown with the case of Rarity, she needs to actually be let in. While they might be able to be manipulated into giving, Rarity didn't know she was dealing with Nightmare Moon, nor was she aware that possession was what was going to happen. It's a trick that works fine on the unaware, but Luna is hardly unaware.
5485582 We know that. But does Luna? She fears a relapse. Fear can lead one to be illogical, especially if it's a fear of something that has proven to have occurred in the past.
5485613 Alright, point there. But wait, there's more!
From the episode "Luna Eclipsed" we have this line.
A lot of possessive nouns there, if it was all NMM's fault. While I suppose you could argue that she's refering to the combined entity she and NMM made, it just doesn't feel that way, especially since she goes on to say that it's traditional to use the royal we when talking to subjects.
And then there is their apparent preference of Luna as NMM rather than Rarity, and it can't be a power thing, considering Nightmare Rarity was strong enough to fight the other princesses fairly evenly.
Well, caught up on the chapter. Very nice beginning, despite my original complaints.
Though, I do believe that Alex wasn't holding back against Heller. Sure, Alex could have put on his armor... but honestly, that armor, I found, has limited use. It makes him very hard to damage, sure, but it hinders his mobility... and against someone as aggressive as Heller, mobility is a must. The armor is more for against slow powerhouse enemies. Can still dodge, but the armor compensates for against those you can't dodge.
Oh, by the way, liked how he chose not to reveal all his powers to her.>: ) Surprises indeed.:D
5485657 From what I have seen, Nightmare enhances the natural powers of those it possesses.
Regardless of our debate on Nightmare though, can't deny that this is a very good start for a fic.^^
5485675 If you want my headcannon on Alex, it's over on the blog. In short, the main reason I put Alex so far above Heller, is cause of the huge-ass power-boost he got at the end. He took out ALL of Red Zone in one big tentacle blast. Even if they were even power, and consumption lead to doubling of the winners power, that would mean Heller could have wiped out half of the Red Zone on his own.
5485708 Well, that battle wasn't entirely just power alone. As I stated, what good is power if the attack can't hit? Mobility is the key as well. As such, I do believe that Alex gave it his all during that fight. However, Heller is one thing. Things in Equestria are another matter entirely, eh?
In truth, when it comes to Heller, I think he's more dangerous than Alex when it comes to battling.... But Alex one-ups him in a different way, which I'll get to.
Heller's powers seem more combat oriented and hunter oriented than Alex's. Better suited for battle and hunting.
However, Alex's powers seemed to grant him better access to the memories and abilities of those he consumed, more so than Heller had. This makes Alex's powers more focused towards intellectual combat as compared to Heller's. So, basically, Heller is more savage, and Alex is more intellectual.
5485730 While I might give that Heller is a better combatant, the point is that Alex is SO far above him power wise, that it doesn't matter, when his hits do hit, they should cleave Heller in half, yet they don't.
5485736 Who says they don't? Don't forget, both of them have regenerative capabilities. Heller merely outlasted Alex in regards to this regenerating. Meaning, there's a limit to how much the two can regenerate. Heller was able to outlast him, his combat instincts being better.
Which is somewhat fitting, really. Heller started out as a soldier that knew how to fight. Alex started out as a scientist. So, basically, combatant vs. intellectual.
With that in mind, it makes sense that Heller outdid Alex. But that was in combat. If it were a challenge of intellect, Alex would run circles around Heller.
5485859 The fact you aren't in two separate pieces when Alex hits you?
And really, just the fact that Heller started out a Soldier doesn't really have any real baring on their current abilities. They have both eaten tons of soldiers, and would have collecting know-how from them (except there's something up with Heller's ability, considering he didn't know how to work a computer despite eating the dude who worked there (got a explanation for that too)), and between the two of them, Alex has eaten way more, more variety too. Plus, with all that extra power, that means greater speed is also possible (Force = Mass * Acceleration).
5485875 And yet, Heller has abilities that Alex lacked. It seems to me that Heller's strain of the virus evolved towards combat rather than intel collection.
And the cutting in half? Remember, Alex recovered from a mere puddle, so the virus easily allows for regeneration from extreme circumstances the more evolved it is, and it was most evolved for those two.
5485886 I believe Alex did have those abilities, cause where did he get them? From the Infected, that Alex made.
I'm not saying that recovering from being cut in half is undoable (easily done for them, though it would cost a lot of biomass, specifically all that was in your legs), but you WEREN'T cut in half is the thing.
5485895 If that applied (it totally could), then Heller would be under similar constraints, and again we would be back at him not being faster than Alex.