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Nightmare Moon has conquered Equestria. Arrogant in her victory, she begins a reign of terror and an orgy of executions. She abducts a human from his home world to advise her. She thinks that her state craft is done well. The Human tends to disagree. He explains why.
A one shot examining the relationship between tyrants and their people.
Cover art, if possible, would be appreciated.
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Human, respect.
That's what I call arguing without leaving any traces behind.
Sure, there could be counterarguments, but I don't want to see them.
And yes, I would like to see more stories about this human adviser.
How would he explain the coming food-shortage to his ruler, telling her it's her fault with her eternal night?
5472579 Well, I wrote him to be a bit of a dick, so the rudest way possible. Thanks for the comment.
5472581 You know, if the tyrant allows it, then you should be a dick to show him how wrong he/she is.
And you don't have to thank me for commenting, it's coming natural to me. I should have a cutie mark for it!
MORE!
Ugh, can't change the size of Emotes.
This requires a continuation. Well Done.
I'd love to see this continued, this human adviser is pretty interesting so far.
This really BEGS for a sequel.
Yes, more would be great.
Please sir, may I have some more
This is a really good story, I like how it played out in the end. Keep up the great work!
Nightmare Moon is bad at quoting things. It is better to be loved and safer to be feared, but above all the wise prince should endeavour to never be hated.
Continue this please.
I'd like to see more of this. It's an interesting idea. Shape up NMM into a good evil overlord. I see he already introduced her to The List. But that's merely Evil Overlord 101.
As a one off, being that showy works, if you make it longer I'd hope for more subtle dickery, otherwise I love when humans use our historical bullshit antics as an intimidation method. Proceed!
All hail democracy! Of course, by acceptable and civilized election.
At first I thought that it was either Schneizel el Britannia or Lelouch vi Britannia before you mentioned Nazi Germany. Oh well.
Nice short story that brings up a good point in alternate history. What if Hitler didn't believe that the Russians were inferior?
more
That god damned human adviser is amazing. More of the man, I say!
This is nice. I can only think of a modern age Niccolo Machiavelli talking sense into Nightmare Moon.
Speaking of Old Nick, perhaps you could use his portrait as a cover image? Better than nothing and it goes with the title.
5473354 His portrait does look kind of troll-y doesn't it? That smile...
Thanks for the suggestion.
Hell yeah I would like to hear more of this human adviser. Name him Edward. Or maybe Isaac. Ooh! How bout Michael?
Please sir may i have some more
Please continue to make more of the Human Adviser
Well, here's an image that fits the same thematic elements, if you need coverart.
https://img1.derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/17/4853__safe_human_nightmare+moon_wallpaper_elements+of+harmony_canterlot_tower_artist-colon-moe.jpg
5473585 Thanks.
There's a line attributed to Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord in a conversation with Napoleon Bonaparte: "You may do anything with bayonets, Sir, except sit upon them..." There's also a passage in a popular genre author's work where a mercenary officer tells a potential client, "...Force accomplishes a lot of things. They just aren't the things you want to accomplish here..." Those are the quotable quotes that came to mind when I read this confection. Watching NMM barely restraining herself from conniptions when the adviser bursts her balloon was a great deal of fun...
Liked. And, by all means, please do continue this...
5473692 Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I will utilize those lines in the future.
I don't know about you guys but i ship this! Lol
That said i would very much want to see more of these two ship or no ship.
Fear may work temporarily, but resentment will build.
The resentment will build into a force will arise to destroy the tyrant.
And they will show no mercy.
Just a little outlook on the whole tyrant thing.
MORE I SAY! He needs a name, though. How about calling him Lucifer? Like the fallen archangel in the bible?
5472581 I wouldn't say dickish. I would say he's blunt without remorse for the fallout of what he says.
Sir this story is extremely adequate if you should decide that you shall continue with this brilliant idea then I shall be behind You the whole way ;) "like a sir"
I'd love to see this guy tearing apart the other villains in the show. Yes please on that continuation.
5473746 And thank you, as well. Feel free to lift them - as stated, they're not my lines.
I have this image in my mind. [NMM has just proposed some other egregious course of action] "... The adviser cleared his throat. "Your Majesty, you hired me to tell you what you needed to hear, instead of just telling you what you wanted to hear..." Nightmare Moon's ears fell flat against her skull. How she had learned to dread hearing those by-now ritualistic words from her human! ... And yet, she waved a hoof in surrender.
'"Speak. How do you say I erred this time?" The human's lips bared his canines in an almost lascivious display of schadenfreude as he coldly and clinically dissected the monumental stupidity of {insert situationally-appropriate despot of your choice}.'
BTW, you may want to change the flag on this to "Incomplete" if you're going to add to it, rather than do a series of one-shots. New postings might get missed, otherwise.
The problem here is that the concept is actually very good. The plot of this story might be totally dialogue and debate, but this will allow opportunities for reams of character development and worldbuilding, similar to what was done in RealityCheck's The Audience. However, several problems stand in the way of this story being excellent, or even good. Other characters and Nightmare Moon are far too OOC. Equestria is a setting with magical shenanigans up the wazoo, but the population maintains an idealistic attitude overall. Moreover, the Nightmare's evil is born out of envy and ignorance, not whatever twisted idiocy this one's mind is made of. Also, the human's attitude is far too nonchalant and smug about his situation that you're describing. He should be scared, wary, and slightly bitter/biting in his retorts. Finally, the narration is sloppy and far too blatant.
In summation, the concept is good, but the execution falls short.
You should definitely consider making this a thing, but only if you can pull it off with the same finesse as this. This guy better be some stone-cold mother fu**er though. Only a true badass could shake off an execution of aliens like that.
5472961 Glad that someone finally brought up Machiavelli.
yes MORE!
this is a unique story!
are you updating here or in another story?
also get a little from Machiavelli and the athenian politicians and philosophers
Did you really need to have a human lecture NMM? That just seems contrived. And did you have to play the WWII card?
Aren't there hundreds of other stupid actions NMM is making? The fact that she requests proof without having any for her own beliefs - indeed, when there's so much proof that love leads to utopia - strikes me as hypocritical, and the MC culd play on that, making her see that she's deliberately ignoring evidence. Widespread executions encourage going wild - after all, if everyone's going to be executed anyway, we may as well go all out and try to kill the princess outright!
And her rescinding of the executions signifies weakness and inconsistency, so she shouldn't have done that - not that she should have been killing people wholesale in the first place, but since she's already started she may as well go all out;quitting now will just encourage retaliation while she's weak.
5474417
Really. If you're going to throw around philosophical quotations, you really owe it to yourself to at least know the source well enough to get them right. You just end up making yourself look ridiculous otherwise.
Wow you have a very skewed understanding of history.
Please, sir, might I have some more of this human?
This one needs more. One shot? It's a good idea, and people are liking it- time to switch off that complete tag and write moar.
5474650 I don't suppose you could elaborate for those not willing to wade through the swampy well of knowledge that is wikipedia?
nice work man, kudos to you, and yeah, if you have more in you i would like to see it.
Nice fic, though I'm preeetty sure the reason Nazi Germany lost was due to them taking on the entire world, refusing to gear up their industry for total war until 1944, and some really poor military decisions. And with regards to the Arab Spring - well, the guy who's used the most brutality (al-Assad of Syria) is still standing, so...
Again, though, nice fic, nice concept, and I guess the reasoning fits well with an idealistic place like Equestria.
5475177
Germany lost because of the Soviets, full stop. Completely accepted historical fact by anyone with a degree in the field.
5474650 to be fair it's the characters interpretation of history, he might have gotten a D- in history, or only read Wikipedia cliff notes or is twisting it to make his point.
As for this story: I'm flat out unsure of whether I like it or not. Its lazy, short and way to simple. But it does do something that I haven't seen before and providing that the human isn't just a mary sue f*** wit I would like to see where this goes.
More! :)
5474650 Actually, as far as I am aware this is pretty accurate: particularly in Ukraine, the Soviet government was utterly, UTTERLY hated, to the extent that Germany was able to form a small army of defectors. The Werhmacht's vanguard was welcomed with flowers and kisses. Only when the extent of what the Nazis had planned became clear were they dispelled of the illusion that they were being liberated.
Sequel!