Together Forever
Together Forever
Applejack opened her eyes with a groan, wondering for a very brief moment where she was. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. She hated the dreams more than she hated being awake. The dream was always the same, reliving that day over and over again. The day she had killed her babies. It felt like Luna was punishing her.
With a grunt and a yawn the farmer rolled up and off her bed, trying to find her clock.
6.25 pm
Applejack had slept all day. She remembered Twilight had been to see her earlier, and had asked her to attend the service for their foals.
“What time had Twi said it was at?” Applejack tried to remember through the sleepy fog of her brain, it was however uncooperative in assisting her as she retrieved her hat. Hoofing her stetson to her head it suddenly came to her. Four! Twi had said the funeral was at four! Another glance at her clock confirmed it was 6.27 pm. Despite her earlier refusal to Twilight, Applejack had intended to go.
Now she had missed her chance. If it was possible to feel worse than she did already, Applejack managed it. She felt hollow, a void in her heart where Fluttershy and her foals should be. Remorse and regret fought for dominance within her, mixed with a deep shame she felt for abandoning her wife at a time like this.
Her wife. Applejack let out a snort of mirthless laughter at the thought. “What must she think of me?” She asked out loud to her empty room.
“Go and say goodbye young’un.”
Applejack hadn't noticed Granny Smith stood at her door until she spoke, snapping the farmer out of her reverie. Applejack cast her green eyes to the floor, scraping it nervously with a hoof.
“Granny, ah don’ know, ah…”
“Young,un, y’all been holed up her fer days. Wallowin’ won't bring ‘em back Applejack. Now, you go and you talk to them foals. Get it all out.”
Applejack slumped her shoulders in defeat, she knew better than to argue with her grandmother. She gave a small tearful nod as she walked past the aged mare. Granny Smith stopped her with a gentle nuzzle on her way out.
“Take as long as you need young’un, we’ll all be here when you get back.”
Applejack returned the nuzzle with a small forced smile that didn't reach her eyes. “Thanks Granny, ah’ll – ah’ll be back soon.”
The sky was starting to darken as Applejack left the homestead, the dull slate grey clouds reflecting her somber mood. The earth pony wasn't aware the Pegasi weather team had scheduled rain fall later that evening. She kept her head down, snout almost to the floor as she began her slow walk to the cemetery. Her heart felt like a leaden weight in her chest, every step felt like a marathon. Eventually after what felt like hours Applejack found herself at the gates to the cemetery.
Applejack raised a hoof to the ornate iron gate and pushed against it gently, feeling it give under her as it swung open. Luna's moon had risen by now, casting a pale white glow over the graves and their tombstones. Applejack walked carefully amongst them, not really knowing where to start looking for those she was here to see.
“Really is beautiful here at night,” she thought to herself as she walked, reflecting on how the moonlight shone from the marble and granite tombstones, silent sentinels guarding their graves like a watchful army. Applejack nodded to each grave she passed, paying her respects even if she hadn't heard of the pony in question, these were after all someponies loved ones.
After twenty minutes of searching though Applejack stomped a hoof in mild frustration. She couldn't help but feel foolish. What had she expected? Still she was determined to find her foals. They were laid here somewhere, it was just a matter of time before she found them.
She felt the first raindrops on her orange coat, heard them thud gently on her hat and roll down her straw blonde mane. The rain didn't deter her from her search though, diligently she kept looking. Applejack crested a little hill, and paused to look around her before deciding upon a direction to take. She was about to head left when Applejack thought she saw a splodge of colour move to her right, down at the bottom of the hill. The rainfall obscured her vision somewhat, but peering through it Applejack was sure there was somepony down there.
A yellow somepony.
Fluttershy! The realisation hit Applejack like a lightning bolt.
Almost at a gallop she quickly made her way down the hill towards her wife, not caring about the mud or the rain, her sole focus was the sun yellow pegasus in front of her, getting bigger the nearer she got. A few feet away Applejack slowed to a walk, panting heavily, as much to announce her presence as from the exertion of the brief run.
Fluttershy heard the heavy breathing behind her, and turned to face whoever it was. A very small smile played across her face at the sight of Applejack stood behind her.
“You came.”
It wasn't a greeting, Applejack noticed, merely a statement. She inclined her head slightly, tentatively returning Fluttershy’s smile. It faltered as Fluttershy turned her back on Applejack without another word and settled back down at the grave in front of her.
Applejack hesitantly took a step forward, expecting Fluttershy to tell her to stay away. When it didn't come she took another step then another, until she was at her wife's side. Bending her legs she sat herself on the ground next to Fluttershy, her head bowed towards the grave in front of her, not wanting to look at it just yet. They sat in silence for a few moments, the rain gently pattering off their coats, neither pony knowing what to say to the other.
Eventually Fluttershy looked across at Applejack, her blue eyes finding the green of the farmer.
“Why?”
“Why what, sugarcube?”
“Why didn't you come to see me? Why weren't you at the service today, why wait till now?
There was no anger in her voice, which was as softly spoken as ever. Applejack couldn't help but hang her head further in shame.
“Ah dunno, ah was scared ah guess, ashamed o’ what ah’d done, ah just couldn't face you in that hospital knowin’ ah was the one who put you there.”
“I see. Do you think it was easy for me then?”
“Fluttershy ah didn’ mean it like tha…”
Fluttershy didn't wait for Applejack to finish, she cut her off with a look before continuing. “I woke up in the intensive care ward and you weren't there. The doctors told me about the miscarriage, and you weren't there. I cried to see you every day, but you didn't come. Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow and Twilight came every day. You were the only one I wanted, but you didn't come.”
Fluttershy never raised her voice, not once. Applejack would have preferred it if she had. Anything would have been better than the sheer disappointment that laced her voice as she spoke.
“Ah’m sorry ah let you down. I should’a been there by your side all along, ‘stead o’ wallowin’ at home like a scolded filly. You deserve better than that, better than me…”
Applejack stopped speaking as Fluttershy extended a yellow wing over her back and pulled her into a close hug while resting a foreleg over Applejacks own.
“Wha..?”
“Jackie, don't ever tell me I don't deserve you. You're a wonderful pony, you're my wife and I love you, always. Don't ever forget that.” Fluttershy laid her head against Applejacks, nestling in her warm fur.
“You– you love me, still? After what ah did?”
Fluttershy still had her head pressed against Applejack, still embraced in the cuddle. Sometime before the rain had stopped. Neither of them had noticed. Ever so softly, Fluttershy whispered, “what did you do?”
“Ah– ah killed our babies! Ah put you in the hospital and ran away! Ah didn't want to admit it, like if I didn't talk about it then it wouldn't be true.” Applejack heaved her shoulders, a cascade of tears flowing down her cheeks into Fluttershy's pink mane.
“Jackie, listen to me please, it was an accident. There was nothing anypony could've done. It was just that, an accident. And yes, I love you. I've always loved you, and I always will love you, understand?”
Applejack sniffled, bringing her tears under control. “Ah love you too sugar.”
Fluttershy ran her hoof down her wife's leg a couple of times while nuzzling her cheek softly. “Tell me about our foals.”
Applejack took a deep breath, steadying herself before she spoke. “Ah saw em, in the operatin’ room after the doctors were done. They let me an Twi in to see you, you were out from the gas though. Ah saw our babies in them boxes, an’ they were perfect, just perfect. They could’a been sleepin’, ah was hopin’ they were just sleepin’ but they were too still. Ah nuzzled ‘em, that one time. Ah said ah was sorry. They would’a been such fine ponies, kinder than you, more honest than me. Everypony would’a loved ‘em.”
Applejack couldn’t say anymore, she could feel the hot sting of fresh tears and wanted desperately to blink them away. She didn't want to cry again. Fluttershy lifted her head to her wife's face and brushed her lips over Applejacks closed eyes, kissing away her tears.
“Come on, love. Let's go home.” Slowly the yellow pegasus got to her hooves, and nudged Applejack to do the same, before noticing the farmer wasn't moving. “What's wrong Jackie?”
“Will they, y’know, be alright?”
“Sure they will,” Fluttershy smiled, “they have whole of heaven to play in, they'll be together forever, just like you and me.”
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Amazing! Great story, and I love how it's still marked unfinished
5355073 you are very kind, thankyou. There is one more chapter to come my lovelies.
Hands up all those who want a happy ending!
Excellent story so far, can't wait to see how you end it!
5355652 you won't have to wait too long, I'll do the next part Tuesday. But will that be the end?
5355684
Oh mysterious
I told myself I wouldn't cry. I obviously lied.
5355079 As happy as you can make it JP. Shy and Jackie deserve it... Um, if that's okay with you that is....
I cant tell if the ending is going to be happy or sad. Is there something wrong with me if I kind of want it to be sad?
5356671 nothing wrong with a little liquid pride, you let it all out mate
5356685
5357202
Chapter three will be up tomorrow, I'm sure you'll both be pleased :)
this... this is good.
5359012 thankyou. I'm working on chapter three right now
So bittersweet, an awesome story! And I can attest to how it feels wanting someone to yell at you instead of talking in soft tones like that, it can hurt a lot worse than the yelling.
Never morn for a death,
Rejoice for a life well lived.
Just a quote I thought up.
Oh god, the feels!
This makes me cry...........
I want my mommy!
5824336
That's exactly why we mourn in this case, though...
There was no life lived to rejoice.
6874223
A few short short months in warm darkness is very little life, but it IS a life.
Heaven has apple trees to kick.
Heaven has fuzzy animals for whom Heaven is a soft hoof and some quiet Hush.
In proper time Heaven will have first a mother, then another, each with joyous reunions to make