• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2015

MathChomp


T
Source

Vinyl just wanted to go to a school where social statuses could not matter less. Fresh from expulsion from a string of private institutions, she enters Greyside Public School with great optimism and hopes of making some true friends. Little does she know that a certain grey mare from the past is in her class. A grey mare who is barricaded so deeply within herself no pony can hope to bring her out. Nopony except one.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 13 )

Well it has good potential :twilightsmile: Lets see where this goes hehe

Losing touch with a friend you got along with really well is an awful feeling. I've felt it on a few occasions myself. I hope Vinyl can do what I never could and rekindle this friendship. I can't wait for more.

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Yeah, I can see how you can think that. It's a flaw in my writing style that I been meaning to fix but I have no idea where I can even start. Could you point out which elements make it too fanfic like?

MoRe PlEaSe! :pinkiehappy:

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Did you get the notification properly now?

Thanks! That gave me a lot to work with. Been trying to pay attention with how I converse with my friends but I can never remember to. Conversation comes naturally and I guess I've just been thinking too hard on what the characters 'should' say instead following the natural flow of it all. I really appreciate that you took the time to type up all that advice. I'm fairly new to the whole fan fiction thing and it's awesome that there are people who are willing to help you improve with some constructive criticism.

I'll revamp the next chapter I have in the works and hopefully, improve the flow and characters. Thanks again!

It has been annoying her many years of how restricted her movements and actions were due to her age.

It had been annoying her for many years, how restricted her movements and actions were due to her age.

He told Vinyl before his began glowing.

He told Vinyl before his horn began glowing.

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