Some Chaotic Advice-Sunset Shimmer
Seven days. One week.
That's how long the portal was normally open, and that's how long Twilight would be locked out of Equestria.
Their theory had been more or less confirmed when they checked the date. It had definitely been a year and three months since the portal was last open by itself. In the terms of lunar cycles, fifteen moons.
Twilight had made a little bed for herself in the school library, comprised of a bunch of books and a sheet. It didn't look very comfortable to Sunset, but her friend insisted that it was fine, and that it wasn't the first time she'd slept in those conditions.
It had been two nights since the portal closed, meaning Twilight was stuck in the human world for another five or six days, and Sunset was starting her day with her usual morning bowl of cereal. The problem was, she wasn't feeling that hungry.
Since Monday, her mind had been occupied with thoughts. To be precise, thoughts about Twilight. When she was spending time with Twilight and the girls, she found herself distracted by her. Sunset even found herself losing focus on her own conversations because she was too busy paying attention to what Twilight was doing. Even when she wasn't with the princess, it was still the thing she thought about most of the time.
The way she commanded a social circle like a benevolent politician. The way her pink and violet highlights just made her blue hair look like a beautiful piece of art. The way her face shifted into that adorable expression when she was trying to teach you something.
What did it all mean?
Sunset continued to stare into her cereal, trying to comprehend what was going on with her mind. But her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a male voice.
"Dude, you gonna finish that?"
She turned her head to find herself face to face with Lens Flare, a thirteen year old boy who was also known as the biggest nerd at Miss Peachbottom's.
"I don't think so..." Sunset replied, seeing a hungry look in his eye. "Why not."
She gently pushed the bowl towards him before Lens Flare grabbed it and started digging through the cereal with his spoon. Normally sharing food with other people was considered weird, but the orphans had pretty much accepted each other as family, and they shared their food with one another like it was nothing.
"Whoa," She said, noticing how fast he was eating the cereal. "Slow down. Whats gotten you so excited?"
He quickly spun around and gave her a fierce look in the eye. "Are you kidding me? I spent the last two years of my life shipping Korra and Asami from The Legend Of Korra, even though deep inside I knew that it would never happen in canon. But this very morning, Mike and Bryan themselves confirmed that the final scene where Korra and Asami hold hands was in fact intended to be romantic and not platonic, making them the first bisexual main characters in western children's cartoons! This is not just a victory for me and other Korrasami shippers, but the entire LGBT community! Korrasami is canon!"
There were a few seconds of awkward silence between them. "Yeah...I don't watch Avatar, so...only half of that made any sense to me."
He gave her a disdainful look before uttering "Hab Sosli' quch!" and running off.
"And I don't speak Klingon either!" She shouted at him.
When her spoon and bowl were done being washed, she checked the clock to see that it was fifteen minutes until the bus arrived.
As she walked upstairs and went down the hallway towards her dormitory, her head was still plagued by thoughts of Twilight and her attempts to understand why she was thinking like this.
'Maybe...' She quickly dismissed the thought, not for the first time. 'Stop it Sunset. That can't be the answer.'
Could it though?
She suddenly realised that she had passed her door.
'I really need to stop thinking about this stuff.' She thought. 'Its starting to mess with my head.'
She opened the door and made her way to her bedroom, where her bag was waiting for her. It was already filled with everything she needed, so she didn't need to pack anything. She picked the bag up and slid her arms through each strap, ready for another school day.
"So how are you doing, Miss Shimmer?"
The sudden voice made her jump and screech a little. She turned around to see Discord sitting on one of the beds, in his normal Draconequus form.
"Discord!?"
He was picking his teeth with a small wooden toothpick. "The one and only. Especially since I haven't been able to find that human me yet."
"What the hell are you doing in my room?!"
Discord lowered the toothpick and raised an eyebrow. "There's that hell word again. Honestly Sunset, if you want to speak to me you had better use proper language."
Sunset was getting impatient. "Skip the games, Discord. I don't have time for this. Why are you here?"
"Sheesh, someone's grumpy today." He flicked away his toothpick, and as it hit the ground it grew two wings and six thin legs before flying out the window. "I saw that you were having some trouble with yourself, and as a good friend, I thought I could help."
"What do you..."
She was cut off when Discord snapped his fingers, and the entire room was engulfed in a white light. When the light faded, Sunset found herself sitting on a soft cushiony chair, while Discord sat on an identical one. Another difference was that Discord was now wearing a grey overshirt, a white undershirt, a black and white striped tie, and a pair of glasses. In his hands he held a clipboard and pencil.
"Now Miss Shimmer, how are you feeling right now?"
Sunset was kind of confused but decided to get on with it. "Fine." She felt a slight rumble in her stomach. "Kinda hungry."
'Maybe I should have finished that cereal.'
Discord started to scribble on his clipboard. "Fine. Hungry. Interesting."
"Why are we doing this?" She asked.
"Sunset, don't try to hide it from me, you seem to be going through some emotional obstacles right now."
'Is he talking about Twilight!' She thought. 'I can't be thinking about her that much. Can I?'
Whether that was the case or not, she wasn't going to admit something like that to Discord.
"No, I don't think I am." She replied.
He put down his clipboard and pencil, and placed his elbows on the armchair while interlocking his fingers. "Sunset, from one ex villain to another, I want you to be honest with me. What’s been troubling you recently?"
Sunset sighed a little. 'I guess I might as well.'
"Recently..." She struggled to find the right words. "I've been doing a lot of thinking."
Discord picked up his clipboard and pencil, and continued to scribble. "I see. Now, have you been thinking about anything or, dare I say it, anyone in particular?"
She sighed again. "I've been thinking a lot about...Twilight."
Discord nodded his head. "Okay, I think I understand. So, are you team Jacob or team Edward?"
"Not the books you idiot, the princess!"
Discord responded with a slight smile that made her wonder if he genuinely made that mistake. He shook his head and put on a more serious expression.
"So, are there any details you care to share on what you think about that involves Twilight?"
'Are you kidding me, I'm not gonna talk about thing that personal with you of all people!'
So why was she about to do it anyway?
"I'm finding it hard to stop thinking about her. When she's with me, she's the one thing in the world I really seem to acknowledge. And even when she isn't with me, I still keep thinking about her. Her looks, her personality, her scent. For the past few weeks I've spent my days anticipating the weekend so that I could see her again. And when the moment comes that I have to leave, I feel something inside me suddenly become this...void. I want to feel sorry for the fact that she can't go home for a week, but at the same time...I can’t stop feeling so happy about the fact that she's stuck in this world with me."
There was a moment of silence between her and the Draconequus.
'Sweet Celestia did I really say all that to him?'
"I see," said Discord, who for once looked like he was taking something seriously. "Is there any reason why you think like this?"
Sunset thought about it, and a thought came up in her mind. It was a thought that had appeared some time ago, and had been growing ever since. Before, she would dismiss it. But now, it felt more real than ever.
"Because..." she tried to get her words out. "Because I'm in love with her."
Discord said nothing, and neither did Sunset. The world around them was replaced by complete silence, as they let the words sink in.
'I can't believe I just said that!' thought Sunset. 'Twilight's my best friend! I can't just start telling people that I'm in love with her! I don't even know if I really feel that way.'
She wanted to believe she saw Twilight as a friend. She wanted to believe they could have a normal relationship.
'But then...why did I mean every word I just said?'
Discord took his glasses off, looked deep into Sunset's eyes, and smiled. "Called it."
"What?"
"I'm just saying, I saw this coming a mile off. I mean, I told Twilight that I could see an interesting relationship coming from her friendship with you, and look where we are now."
In a white flash he was wearing a black and white suit and tie with a black top hat and shiny black shoes. He also had some kind of walking stick that he held in both hands as he did his tap dance of victory.
"Well good for you," Sunset said, trying to look unhappy even though that was a very amusing site. "Now could you please stop goofing off and help me fix this."
In another white flash Discord was wearing nothing again, while the chairs had disappeared. "In what sense?"
"I mean, could you...I don't know...make me stop loving her."
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Sunset, I may be an all powerful spirit of chaos but I'm not exactly a god. I can't just make your feelings disappear. At least, not without turning you into some bitchy grey minion of mine. And we both know that's not what you really want, your ideal resolution to this is that Twilight loves you back. Am I not right?"
Sunset wanted to argue, but the thing was that he was in fact absolutely right. "I guess."
"Sunset, just take my advice. Tell her how you feel."
"Really?"
"Heck no! That's really stupid advice. What if she doesn't love you back? What if your relationship with her is ruined forever? Its much better to be friends with someone that tortures you with your repressed feelings for them than not being friends with them at all. Trust me I know."
"Gee, thanks for the help!"
"Fine." Discord rolled his eyes. "If you insist on wooing her, just wait. See if you spot any signs of her harboring similar feelings towards you, and if the signs are clear, act on your feelings. Heck, maybe you should try waiting for her to make the first move. If there are no signs that she's into you, then you can give up and have your friendship with her that tortures you with your repressed feelings. That's all I got."
"You are really unhelpful."
Discord chuckled a bit. "You sound just like your mo..." He stopped for a second. "Oh wait, your bus is leaving in about forty seconds. Bye."
In a final white flash, he was gone.
"Jackass." Sunset whispered to herself.
She heard the door open behind her, and turned around to see Sweetcream Scoops standing in the doorway.
"Sunset, the bus driver's waiting for you, hurry up."
"Sorry, I'm coming!"
***
As always, Vice-Principal Luna's office was dark. A bit too dark. Even if she was an inter-dimensional counterpart to the princess of the night, it still struck Sunset as odd that someone would want to keep their office in a state that made it feel almost like night time.
"So you two wish to get this job done, even if it means staying after school?" Luna asked them.
Sunset saw Twilight nodding her head, and proceeded to do the same. "Yes." She responded.
"Well then, I must say I am impressed." The Vice-Principal started writing something down, though it was too dark to see. In fact, how could Luna even see what she was writing? "You're one of the only four students that volunteered to do so. But with the money we save by not hiring professionals, we won't have to indefinitely cancel Taco Tuesday."
Twilight flinched a little bit. "Honestly, I don't care much for Taco Tuesday, but I'm glad to help."
"Thank you." Luna smiled slightly. "You two are dismissed."
As Sunset was slowly following Twilight out of the office, she thought about her talk with Princess Luna a few days ago. That encounter had given her a lot more respect for the princess, and she felt a bit more respect towards her Vice-Principal as well. She wondered if this Luna had been through similar turmoils. A thought suddenly struck her.
"Vice-Principal Luna?" She asked, turning around.
"Yes?"
"Does the name Nightmare Moon sound familiar to you?"
Even through the darkness, Sunset could see Luna's face turn to shock, before she slammed her hands on her desk and leaned forward from her chair.
"Who told you about my World Of Warcraft account?!"
***
The school day was a lot like any other. But there was one big difference. It wasn't just that Twilight was a part of it all now, but that Sunset had accepted the feelings inside her. She knew why she was thinking about Twilight so much, she knew why she was trying to spend so much time with her. And because of this, her thoughts and feelings were coursing through her so much more smoothly.
But by accepting the fact that she was in love with her, she found herself slightly tormented by those feelings, as Discord said she would. He was also right when he said that the resolution she wanted was one where she and Twilight could be together as a couple. Every time Twilight smiled or laughed or did anything remotely positive, Sunset got that surging feeling in her chest and just wanted to pour her feelings out to the princess. But Discord was also right when he said that Sunset shouldn't be so straightforward. If Twilight didn't feel the same, then they could never have the same friendship again.
At the end of the school day, Sunset and Twilight headed to the school auditorium for the job that they volunteered to do earlier that day.
Sunset's home was only an hour walk from the school, so she had no problem staying after the final class had ended, and Twilight was actually staying at the school, so she didn't have a problem either.
The job itself was just repainting the auditorium and since Vice-Principal Luna said that they'd be joined by two other volunteers, it would likely take no longer than two to three hours.
When they entered the auditorium, it looked like they were the first to arrive, as there was no one else there. They had been given clear instructions on what to do if they had to start. The painting supplies were in storage room number two, which was located at a left turn from the entrance.
Upon opening the door to storage room number two, they found everything they needed. Buckets of paint, painting aprons, and ladders. But among this, they found a much more unexpected site.
On the floor was a white skinned girl with a head of spiky light blue and cyan hair, with a pair of blue headphones around her head. She wore a white jacket, a white skirt, and pink fingerless gloves, while her legs were covered by purple leggings with blue shoes. Even more interesting was that on top of her was a light grey skinned girl with hair that was such a dark shade of grey it was almost black. She was dressed much more fancily than the other girl, wearing a purple overshirt over a short sleeved white blouse, a pink skirt, long white socks within black shoes, and a pink bow tie around her neck.
They were both on the floor ferociously pressing their faces together while the gloved white hands went up and down the other girl's back.
Sunset couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Vinyl?"
The bottom girls eyes opened to reveal hot pink irises. A split second later they grew wide with shock.
"Oh crap, Octy get up!"
The grey girl fell off of Vinyl and stumbled on to her feet while Vinyl herself scrambled to get up. She slipped on a pair of hot pink shades that immediately fell onto her nose.
"Octavia?" Sunset said in a confused voice.
"Uhhhhh..." Octavia looked like she was struggling for words.
"We were early!" Vinyl interrupted, trying to maintain a cool posture. "And...we tried to get started..."
"Vinyl," Octavia said in her English accent.
"...aaaaaaand...this bucket fell from the drawers...and hit me on the head, knocking me unconscious..."
"Vinyl, this is futile."
"...and Octavia...she...was giving me mouth to mouth..."
"Vinyl Scratch!" Octavia shouted, getting Vinyl's full attention. "They aren't buying it. I think the way you grabbed my ass was a bit of a dead giveaway."
Vinyl blushed heavily and stuck out her arm, leaning against the wall in an attempt to look cool. "So...Twilight, Sunset. You wouldn't mind...y'know...not mentioning this to anyone, right?"
Twilight looked like she was still getting her head around what she just saw. "No...of course not."
"Please," Octavia said, with a slightly desperate look in her eyes. "If anyone found out about...this, our social lives could get more or less destroyed."
"Hey," Sunset answered. "We've got nothing to gain from telling anyone about this. Your secret is safe with us."
"It better be," Growled Vinyl, still blushing.
Twilight walked over the painting supplies. "Why don't we just forget about this and get to work."
"Good idea!" Said Octavia, trying to put on a smile.
The next hour and a half was filled with them repainting the faded beige walls of the auditorium into a more appealing yellow. There was little to no talking, thanks to awkward atmosphere created by them walking in on that little make out session.
"Sunset," Twilight said. "Do you mind if I take a quick trip to the bathroom?"
"Of course you can, no need to ask me."
As Twilight left the room, Sunset went back to thinking.
Was the universe trying to play some cruel joke on her. She accepts the fact that she's in love with Twilight, has problems dealing with those feelings, and BAM, she comes across two girls making out. It was like some divine force was teasing her with what might be.
Then again, what if it was some sort of sign? What if it meant that she was supposed to act on her feelings? Then it hit Sunset. She was alone in a room with two girls that seemed to be in some kind of romantic relationship. These were the perfect people to get advice from.
She walked over to Vinyl Scratch and started painting the walls alongside her. Octavia was on a ladder at the other end of the wall, painting a higher section.
"Hey Vinyl," Sunset said, before noticing that the DJ's ears were blocked by headphones. Sunset waved her hand in front of Vinyl's face to get her attention.
Vinyl removed her headphones. "What?"
"I'm sorry about what happened earlier. We didn't mean to intrude or anything."
"No problem Shimmer, just keep quiet about it. That's all I'm asking. To be fair, it probably wasn't the best idea to make out in the storage room with the paint supplies when we knew we were gonna have company that had the intention of painting."
"So...when did...this..." She pointed towards Vinyl and then towards Octavia. "...start?"
Vinyl raised an eyebrow. "Do you really expect me to tell you the story of how Octy and I got together. Um, no thanks."
'Well if I'm gonna get her help I might as well be honest.'
"Look Vinyl, I know I'm not someone you'd expect to trust, but I need advice. I think I've...fallen for someone."
Vinyl glared at her. "And...you need my help because?"
"Because It’s a girl."
The DJ said nothing, and continued to glare.
"Please Vinyl. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and after seeing you and Octavia, I realized you might be the only people I can get good advice from."
"You're...serious..."
"Yes. I am."
"Wow. Well, I guess I might as well. Not much else to do besides continue painting, and I've already done a bunch of that. To start off, since the beginning of last year, I was permitted to work on my mixes for a few hours after school on Wednesdays. It was originally scheduled as a club, but since you don't find many DJ's at CHS, it became a more personal thing for me. The equipment I worked with was set up in the main music classroom, which, as you know belongs to Mr Melody, Octavia's dad. He tends to work for hours after school in his office, so Octy was stuck practicing her Cello in the music classroom with me.
"At first we weren't exactly fond of each other, I saw her as a stuck up posh brat and she saw me as 'an uneducated talentless ruffian' as she put it. But, as we spent more time together and learned more about each other and our music, I saw a bit more than some snooty classical musician, I saw a friend. And after a while, I saw a bit more than a friend. I started to look forward to Wednesdays more than anything, and she was invading my thoughts like a beat in a song. So, I tried to express my feelings by remixing some romantic songs I knew she liked, heck I more or less made my own. During one after school session, I played them for her, and she really liked it. Before I knew it we were dancing...pretty soon we were...kissing...and then...she was mine."
Sunset had been listening to every word of Vinyl's story in silence, and when the DJ was finished, the silence was shared between them for a moment.
"Crap, that sounded cheesy as hell," Vinyl said, grimacing.
"No, no, no," Sunset stuttered. "That was really sweet."
"Now I think you see why we don't want you spreading the word of what's going on between us. If you know Mr Melody well, you'll know that he can be a pretty overly posh and snooty guy. And he's definitely not one of the most liberal guys in the world. I love Octy, but I don't think her family, or pretty much all of CHS will accept something like that."
"I understand," Sunset replied. "So, your advice is for me to just spend a lot of time together with my crush?"
If that was all Sunset needed, then she was already on the right track by visiting Twilight every weekend.
"Well, that's how I fell in love with Octavia. But to be honest, I think she fell in love with me thanks to this..."
She reached into the bag on her back and pulled out a CD case. It was a simple white plastic case labeled, 'For Octy'.
"It might have been Octavia's love for music that made it so effective, but I think it could work for any girl."
She held out the CD for Sunset to take.
"Really? You want me to take it?" Sunset asked.
"Not permanently, of course, I'm not that generous. Well...unless there was twenty bucks involved. But what kind of DJ would I be if I didn't let lend out my music? Anyway, that's what we bi's do. We help each other out," Vinyl replied, before frowning a bit. "At least, I think that's a saying."
"Thank you," Said Sunset, who put the CD in her bag.
Just a few seconds afterwards, Twilight came back into the auditorium. As she did, Sunset was struck by an idea. She may have already been spending plenty of time with Twilight, but she remembered an opportunity to spend even more personal time with her.
As Twilight went back to painting the walls, she was approached by Sunset.
"Hey, Twilight."
"Hey."
"Umm... I was wondering. A smaller orphanage a few miles away is set to close down, and Miss Peachbottom offered to take the orphans in, so...we'll basically be getting a 'fresh batch' of orphans. Miss Peachbottom needs some of the more run down rooms in the building rejuvenated, and I offered to take the job. I was wondering if...like...you'd care to join me. Y'know, I could...show you my home...introduce you to my roommates...stuff like that. And it would be nice to just spend time with you. As friends. And stuff..."
'Man I am doing this awkwardly...'
But despite that, Twilight smiled. "Of course! That sounds like fun. When is this?"
"There's not so much a specific time as there is a deadline of a week. We could do it tomorrow."
Twilight nodded. "I'll be there."
While Twilight went back to painting the walls, Sunset looked at the couple that was painting at the other side of the room, and then looked at the pocket on her bag where she had put Vinyl's CD.
Things might just go her way.
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First!
Ahem...
This chapter was great. A lot of good humour, characters being well in character, everything played out as it could in a show. Kudos to you for that!
However, the very end felt rushed. The scene with Vinyl speaking with Sunset was too short and "compacted", also mentioning "we, bis, help eachother" felt a tad bit forced, put there only to show "Vinyl's a bi! Look at it! Watch in awe! I went there!"
But that may be only me, some trauma because of a SunLight crapfic I stumbled upon some time ago, where the very first dialogue was about determining which girl was bi, which one was les, which one was straight.
Sunset talking with Twilight and inviting her could also take more time. Now it's just "Wanna come over?", "Sure!". I'd like you to expand on that, and make Sunset a bit less straightforward. She's shy towards Twi, regarding her feelings. Something like "Ummm... Twilight? I was thinking... there's the thing, and... I kinda want you to help, so, if you want to..." would be more appropriate.
Nonetheless, well deserved place on my favourites bookshelf! Kep it up, mate! Don't make the fic die, like half of SunLight fics!
5456401
I understand your problems with it. I wanted to get the chapter done by last night and I may have rushed on the end.
I tries to expand the ending, but all I really managed to do was extend about one line from Vinyl and one line from Sunset, along with a few more scene descriptions. I just don't know what else to write.
By the way, in what does it mean if a fic dies. Is it that if the fic gets bad, the story has a sudden rushed ending, I just stop writing it or something else.?
5456554 A fic dying means it gets updated less frequently, once a month, once a half a year, then once a year, then not at all... Then I go to my library, browse through the fics and see great ones, that got abandoned for whatever reason, but don't have "cancelled" or "on hiatus" tag.
Which makes it even sadder, since it brings false hope.
Honestly, I was impressed by how fast you published your last two chapters. It rarely happens with the fics I like, it's an evenement. Usually it takes few weeks between any "XXX has updated" e-mails in my inbox.
That's why I'd be much obliged if you decide to keep up the reasonable schedule (not meaning daily updates, but at least not yearly)
Though rushed endings can kill a story as well. That's the other kind of "dying", though, I'd rather call it a murder. Fortunately, I stumbled upon it only once. Unfortunately - it was in a great SunLight fic..
NOOO! SHIMMY! DON'T USE THE CD!
You would want to do something for Twily, and it would have to be specifically to her from you, not something Vinyl made for Tavi (I call her Tavi, not octy, deal with it)
Anyways, great story so far, although there's a few grammatical and spelling mistake's but that's in every fic
5457521
Don't worry, I don't intend on letting this fiction die. A lot of authors that I've seen have a large number of stories going on at once, and most of them arent updated for a long time, and thats probably because they're working on too many stories and they forget about some others. I don't intend on writing more than one story at once. I only wrote Hello 2015 at the same time as A Sparkling Sunset because the latter was being edited, and the former was so short I wrote it all in one morning.
5462158
Yeah, I was wondering wether to shorten her name to Octy or Tavi, and while I prefer Tavi, Nowacking (basically the internet voice of Vinyl) called her Octy in Bronies react to Rainbow Rocks, so I thought it would be more fitting.
As for the whole 'CD' thing...yeah...I'm afraid to say that I've already planned whats going to happen in the next few chapters, and that CD will come into play. I did think 'wait thats more of a thing musicians like Vinyl and Octavia would do romanticly, not super students like Sunset and Twilight!'. But to be fair, I originally planned for Vinyl and Octavia to just make a quick appearance making out in the closet and the CD would have just been a random one Sunset owned.
5462363
Ah yes, a new person commenting on my story, my favourite kind of notification.
And yes, thats my reaction as well. In fact, I don't know if there is a single MLP fan that doesn't cringe at the appearance of Flash Sentry.
So, do you have an editor?
5462392
Yep.
5462396
... Want another?
Just saying, I did spot some errors in the last chapter like mixing up 'site' with 'sight'.
5462402
I think I'll write a few more chapters before I think of getting them edited. When I lent the story to Feather Flyer to edit chapters 1-8, it was over a day before I got it back. That doesn't sound like long, but writing is one of my prefered forms of passing the time, so it'll probably be a while before I get my latest chapters edited.
Thanks for the offer though. I'll consider it when I have enough chapters published.
5462166 Well that's a relief. It always pains me seeing a great fic not being updated for half a year, and noticing, that in "recently updated" box there's a crapfic with 300 downvotes, yet it hits 40th chapter...
5462585
Whats even sadder is a genuinely good story that goes under appreciated. One of my favourite stories on Fimfiction, Dreamlocked Chronicles, has popular author, but has barely 300 views.
5462585 To be fair, most crap fics have rather short chapters, which might explain the quantity of them.
5462628 That's not always the case, though. I remember a crapfic called "A Haze in Equestria", or rather it's sequel. It hit like 50k words and 20 chapters.
Though I've seen even 200k-long ones.
But, yeah, generally I must admit, it's usually like:
1. How I Became A Pony (500 words)
2. How I Defeated Discord And Saved Equestria (300 words)
3. How Wildly I F*cked Fluttershy And Made Her A Lot Of Babies (600 words)
5462668
OH MY GOD!
Send me the link to that story!
Its sounds Genius.
5462747 Which one? The one with three short chapters?
I'm afraid it's just a creation of my twisted mind, but...
Yeah, one can never be too sure. Such fic probably exists somewhere, in the deepest parts of Fimfiction.
5462808
Okay in all seriousness, I did know you made that up, I was just pretending that it sounded like an amazing story.
In less seriousness, Sweet Celestia, you made that up! Thats great! Now I can lay claim to that GENIUS idea of a story! Hear me people! If you write that story I will sue your ass!
5462843 Damn, I forgot to call dibs on that :/
5462873
Too late! The story is mine! And I already have a name for chapter four...
4. How I Became Supreme Lord Of The Alicorns (12 words)
MWAHAHAHAHA!
5462899 The main hero will be called Dark 3dge, will have black coat, and his mane will be made of perfect black body (you know, the one from physics).
Oh, and give him
twosix pair of wings, because why the hell not!We should do a crackfic someday, sir. You, me, bad OCs and our twisted minds.
5462966
I was actually thinking about doing an actual story with those exact chapters (titles, numbers and all) for the sake of parody.
5467082 Well, the brony that gets to Equestria can become an Alicorn with six pairs of wings in the end, can he not? :P
As for the fic based on these exact chapters? Count me in, whether you need a prereader, proofreader, or anyone else
5449213
The biggest problem with this is why did they not know each other? Both of them ignored socializing in exchange for studying they would have run into each other more often than flash sentry and twilight just because of shared hang out spots.
Celestia also clearly puts a lot of effort into those apprenticeships, between that and princessing where would she have time for two?
And in the first movie sunset pointing out "Well i couldn't expect her to find a replacement as talented as me."
Everything states sunset was Celestia's previous apprentice.
Also there's a lot of stuff with the way sunset reacts to Twilight being a princess in the first movie making much more sense with time dilation as she sees herself replaced and the replacement given everything she wanted in just 2.5 years, but it was actually a lot longer to Celestia. frex. Her finally losing her cool and going berserk at the ending when rarity calls Twilight "A real princess".
Thousand five hundred or so, so verrrry different perspectives as times.
You sang a love duet with her at the end of the first movie just replacing the word love with friend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LblDBbODkXI
Everyone saw this coming a movie away.
Sunset why the fuck would you actually listen to discord for relationship advice.
Second off what is your cutie mark telling you? That you are powerful and confidant? Yes, that. Just tell her, dancing around issues because you are afraid isn't you, like we had a whole movie about that and how when you stopped dancing around issues cause you didn't feel it was your place you got your magic back, and magic being the soul and all.
Your place is to be sunset shimmer. Go be sunset shimmer.
Music's pretty you sure, but someone else's music fuck that, put on your rock outfit and shout your love in song form. I'd say just sing friend for life but twilight may in fact be dumb enough to miss the obvious signal.
5456401
Go listen to the end of welcome to the show again, remember that entire thing from that point forward is post redemption sunset's charecter song.
The very first line is "Your never gonna bring me down, your never gonna break this part of me." once per magic, her soul, is returned to her she has all the confidence and more that she had in the first movie, because sunset is who her cutie mark is telling her to be now.
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/277/5/0/sunset_shimmer_by_itstacos-d81m37o.png
This is the credits song picture of sunset shimmer for a reason, and that reason is to reinforce the character song because they didn't have time to show sunset shimmer as she is meant to be.
5467594
I'll add it to my list of future stories I'm considering. Others include:
A collection of short stories based off A Sparkling Sunset (including a story revolving around Sunset's dad and a a full version of the little story Vinyl told Sunset regarding her and Octavia).
A story about Chrysalis being an alicorn princess (in the same way as Twilight) who rebels against Celestia and uses a magical item that allows her to draw power from the love of others but slowly corrupts her into the monster she is in season two.
A story about a batman style pony hero (mainly because I like the idea of an actual character like Mare Do Well).
And a story where Gummi, Winona, and the other pets get turned into ponies.
5470794
To be fair, I imagine that a lot more confidence is needed to build up the courage to tell someone you love them. And yeah, listening to Discord on relationship advice is just plain stupid!
And Sunset Shimmer is not stupid.
Or is she?
(*ominous laughter of uncertain implications*)
5470794 Yes, what you're saying is true, I have no doubts about it. But still, having stronger character and being more confident does not mean she should be like "Sup, Twilight! So, I thought I could honour you with a position of my girlfriend *grabs Twilight's face and shoves her tongue into princess' throat*".
I'm all for confident characters, but I believe, that anyone would have trouble being that straightforward, especially when they do not know exactly what they feel. And after what Discord said, about the possibility of destroying the friendship. She should be just a tad bit more reserved, I'm not saying "Turn her into Fluttershy 2.0".
5471186 Everything that contains Chryssi - I'm all for it!
I mean, I usually look only for Chryssi's shipfics, not so much about other stories with her (since they always tend to portray her as a ruthrless villain, which is highly incorrect according to my headcanon), but I'm sure as hell gonna read yours, sounds like a neat concept.
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More like "Hey twilight, would you like to {Go do some private activity you think they'd enjoy}?" or a simple "I was wondering how you felt about me, because to be honest i really like you."
I've done it plenty of times, it's not hard.
Sup, apparently you have trouble believing in me. I understand, the doctors think i should be dead.
If she doesn't know how she feels all the more reason to just try one date, just nonchalantly ask to do something that basically is a date ie said {private activity you think you'd both enjoy}.
Let's go over an easy one "Hey twilight i only got my magic back recently and i'm a bit out of practice, would you like to come over to my place and help me practice? I can make us some strawberry fields salads, since humans don't get drunk off salt we can go all out on the feta." BAM worst case they turn you down no biggie, minimum probable case you have a fun night with a friend, best case scenario you got yourself a date.
5471504 Now that I look at it... Yeah, I agree.
Still, I think it could've been more fleshed out. Now it's:
- What should I do, Vinyl?
- Do stuff with her
- Twilight, you wanna do stuff with me?
- Yeah, I'd like to do stuff with you.
Me, personally, I think it would've been better if there was some more thought put into it, some inner dialogue like "Okay, Sunset, you have to do stuff with her... Is there anything... Oh, there's the stuff, I'll ask her to come with me! Just as friends, to not spook her out, it's not a date, she'll just be helping me... Though I wouldn't mind if it turns into a date..."
Maybe that's where my feeling about that scene being too "flat" and short comes from. Now Sunset asks Twilight for help completely out of the blue, as far as I see it.
I don't even LIKE WoW and I laughed
5474744
Same here, and I WROTE that joke!
Damn... everyone is arguing in the comments. Let's join them.
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I think that she is justified for being hesitant about loving Twilight. She is still unsure about her feelings and I think Discord just got her to confess out loud. I'm glad that this does not turn into a typical movie ending, where as soon as they realize the solution to the problem it's immediately solved (I'm looking at you Frozen), I like that she is not 100% sure about what to do next and that she stutters when she invites twilight to her orphanage. Sunset is still developing her character and her conversations with Twilight are only slightly more confident than before, leaving room to improve. I think slower pace is better because more (serious) relationships develop like this.
>>Ferhog
Love the jokes you put in about WoW and Vinyl and Octavia, can't wait for more.
5478621
We had a movie for that, sunset got her magic back.
The entire back end of welcome to the show and her picture in shine like rainbows show what sunset is like with her magic back, and it's incredibly confidant.
If she hesitates more than me, someone who doesn't have literal magic backing her confidence, that's not what we've been shown.
5479919
Yeah, I don't mean to undermine Esterdell's brony status, but he hasn't seen anything else besides season 4 of FIM, including the Equestria Girls movies, so he doesn't know much about Sunset or her character development.
Again, no offence to Esterdell. He's still a Brony, but he's something of a brony novice, only watching the latest season.
5479919
Yeah, I suppose I can't be correct right off the bat...
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5479919
I apologise, dear devoted readers, but due to my stacked up homework, it may be a while before chapter 10 comes out. I hope you don't mind the wait.
5483693 No problem, I know how you feel. I myself have quite a few exams incoming, so I understand you pefectly fine
5483693
Life happens.
Status of sides: Orbitting Andromeda Galaxy.
5518334
I am genuinely surprised at how popular that joke has become. I just wrote it for the sake of lazy attempts at comedy.
You mentioned Korrasami....... This story gets a like and fave
Let me guess, she plays as a... :sunglasses: Night Elf! (YEAAAAH!)
>Discord knows Sunset's mother
Well. Guess that narrows it down.