• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 1st, 2015

justintimekazoo


Don't take life *too* seriously.

T

All Jamie wanted was a nice, quiet night to complete his work. He was minding his own business and everything, when a creature from a different world decided to show up and give him a concussion. What's up with that? Well, okay, it was an accident, but still! Jamie will probably never finish that work.
(This is fluff, by the way.)

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Criticism welcomed with open arms!

Oh, and I'm fully aware about horse anatomy, and how the hoof is not actually furry and such, but I'm keeping with the "MLP pony" style where they don't actually have the hoof-nail-part.

Lastly, I don't really know the protocol on cover pictures, so I just got a random shot from an episode. If anyone wants to tell me what the deal is (can you use any picture at all, do you need permission, do you just have to link it, etc), that'd be great.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

Eh. It was alright. I'm afraid I can't say I enjoyed it. Nor did I dislike it. It was...ok. Seems all I can really say. I will leave a thumbs up though. Carry on.

Hmm... It's ok, as mentioned below... Maybe continue it? To me at least, it seems to end rather abruptly.

5310906 Hmm, yeah, I was half writing with the idea that I'd continue it. Though since I really didn't know how it'd be received, I wasn't sure I would even continue. (Probably.) We'll see.

5310667 Do you have any idea why it didn't quite strike your fancy? Was it uninteresting, or my writing in general? (Like I said, I really have little experience, so I'm trying to learn whenever I can. Thanks!)

5311224
If I may, I may have an answer for you on this. It's an imperfect answer for a number of reasons, and a stock one, but your story doesn't have conflict or crisis, and it really doesn't have any theming or metaphor.

It just kind of happens, then leaves. Without meaning insult, it's like a bag of chips you leave on your desk to munch when you're hungry. Nothing wrong with it, per se, and it does fill the space, but there's really not much there to remember.

5311350 Oh, I totally see. Perhaps I should mention that it's fluff in the description? (That is a correct label, right? Is romance required for it to be considered fluff?)

5312628 Ya, pretty much what 5311350 said.

Another visit from Luna is required.

5312628
Fluff really just means very light/without weight, or without real consequence. While the term applies, it's a 'six of one' situation if you were to put it in the description, it won't change much one way or the other.

Pleeeeeeease make another chapter, it's so good :twilightsmile:

perfect ending, just enough cliffhanger to leave the reader wanting, but just enough closer
10 out of 10

A very good read

For a first time writing piece this is very good, a little slice of life with comedic parts, good dialogue, and my favorite princess. Keep writing like this and you'll be able to tackle much grander stories, i know it.

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5312903
Well, something is being formulated, whether it be another chapter, or more likely a different story. Just have to figure out the direction I want to take it.

5314806
Why, thank you! That means a lot to a new, impressionable writer! :twilightsmile:
(You even got me to use an emoticon!)

5315928 No problem:
eune.leagueoflegends.com/sites/default/files/styles/scale_xlarge/public/upload/pvp.net/yasuo_poster_header.jpg?itok=IC5POyxB

It is the job of us veterans to inspire you, the next generation, to write. We walk the same path, and if you wishI can be your mentor.

5315928 well, whatever you do, I know it will be superb

No, I had friends. I just didn't truly connect with any of them. None shared my views of the big things: life, death. Time.

Damn, that hurts.

*Looks at thumb count*
*Compares to story just finished with 600-odd thumbs*
*Despairs for humanity*

What I'm trying to say is... s2.quickmeme.com/img/a9/a960a0ac740d9b1e1a6250ec130b3ea4a7c0f2a79de6a058feb55eeaded97408.jpg

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