Okay, I have one piece of advice for you as an author. Show, don't tell. Describing his vomiting as feeling as if a Timberwolf is trying to claw its way out of him is good, but what color was his vomit? Was it hay colored, or carrot orange? How far did he make it before he began puking? Also, has he been keeping himself and his clothes clean? If not, he probably smells so bad everything in the forest simply avoids him for the scent alone. If he has, then he probably smells of water and engrained sweat. Son and so forth, point is, description makes stories memorable by putting images in the minds of your readers.
Good start but you need to slow down your chapters and put more words and details to give the reader a picture of what is happening...but overall good story so far and let me know when the next chapter will be out
It's a good story but you need to get an editor.
Okay, I have one piece of advice for you as an author. Show, don't tell. Describing his vomiting as feeling as if a Timberwolf is trying to claw its way out of him is good, but what color was his vomit? Was it hay colored, or carrot orange? How far did he make it before he began puking? Also, has he been keeping himself and his clothes clean? If not, he probably smells so bad everything in the forest simply avoids him for the scent alone. If he has, then he probably smells of water and engrained sweat. Son and so forth, point is, description makes stories memorable by putting images in the minds of your readers.
Good start but you need to slow down your chapters and put more words and details to give the reader a picture of what is happening...but overall good story so far and let me know when the next chapter will be out
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What thease people said.
i want more of this its funny to all hell
Deaths a dude
Enjoying it so far, but obviously grammar could use some work, although there's definitely been improvement
I would like to see MOAR!!!!!!!
Update please...