During her second liberation of Canterlot High, Twilight notices something strange in the way Sunset Shimmer acts around her. Eager to find the truth, she goes back through her portal and confronts her about it.
5568027 Thanks! 1.) It's complete, I was just a goof and forgot to update it 2.) because... :I Well EG dimension is anthro, right? That's where this takes place?
Finally, I'm glad somebody finally used the fact that Twilight was obviously going to declare her love for Sunset Shimmer in that one scene from Rainbow Rocks. We all know it's true...
Yup. It's another TwilightxSunset Shimmer fic. BECAUSE IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!!!
Well... It's not like we can have enough SunsetSparkle fanfics, right ? (And especially not clopfics)
You know what. I was originally just going to leave it as a one-off, but since you guys loved it so much and so many of you are asking for a sequel, plus since it's done so incredibly well so far... I think I'm going to change my mind and do another chapter or two.
This was so cute! So adorable! And so sexy! I would have liked to have seen more of Twilight's turn on top but oh well. I'd also like to see Sunset's reaction to this being Twilight's first time. That could lead to a very cute conversation I think.
To those of you who doing know, im going to be doing a Q&A tomorrow and post the video on my page. If you have anything you wanna ask, please message me
The thing I love about this is how innocent both Twilight and Sunset are. The love is apparent here, and I just love this coupling. I might have to start supporting this ship.
Hmm... Calculating... +keeps consistent character... especially our protagonist... +writing is pretty good... flows well... -circumstances feel perhaps a tad contrived... but not such that they are too distracting
I might recommend that the phrase including
*messy eraser marks*
be replaced with a simple ellipse. Such a phrase breaks the immersion a bit for me; it certainly is understandable that Twilight would change her mind, but a better way of communicating it may be with a pause and parenthetic remark rather than a simulation of handwritten words. In addition, the use of "you" among the phrase
but you've probably picked up on that notion already
does so similarly in that the writer (Twilight Sparkle) hadn't previously used her writing in a diary-esque or letter sort of fashion. I apologize if I have offered advice where it was not requested.
=Very good. Thank you very much. This isn't normally my favorite set of tags, but you've done them well.
5577873 Thanks for the constructive criticism! Well, I don't personally think the scenes are too terribly contrived, but hey, I can't escape my own bias can I? The story is written in the form of Twilight's narrative via a journal entry so when she mentions "you", she's referring to whoever happens to read it I guess. I thought I made that pretty clear but maybe not; I apologize.
Twilight is talking about Tirek's problem back in Equestria, but Rainbow Rocks and so this story aren't supposed to be juste after Tirek, since Twi's having her new castle?
The only gripe I have can have with this story is the "Thud" sound effect twilight's panties make when dropping onto the floor... It momentarily broke the mood for me and made me snicker.
I mean, was she wearing panties made of bricks or something?
Aside from that little thing I truly enjoyed this story and I am secretly hoping for more.
5588722 Hmm I see what you mean. I was trying to go for that sound that cloth makes when it falls on carpet but that might not have been the best word. I might go back and change it later, thanks!
That..was amazing. Good job.
1. Is it complete or are there more?
2. Why the Anthro tag?
5568027 Thanks!
1.) It's complete, I was just a goof and forgot to update it
2.) because... :I Well EG dimension is anthro, right? That's where this takes place?
5568104 Actually, no it's not. You can put Human tag here.
This story was... Wow, one of the best Sunlight clops over here. Keep like this! Also:
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/258/7/2/lady_boner_by_mmishee-d6mdy90.jpg
5568203 Oh Did not know that.
I believe a sequel is in order. i loved it!!!!
5568557 Well I really need to get back to one of my other stories, but hey I might. Thanks!
Noo problem it is a great story!! ^ω^
Nice
Sequel please Q_Q this was... sexually... BEAUTIFUL!!
Thank you all so much for all the positive feedback! I'm actually really surprised
Damn that is an awsome story
Not bad, not bad at all...
first TwilightxSunset Shimmer fic I've ever read, it's so beautifully written I think I've struck Fimfic gold
I agree with several of these comments this deserves a sequel, probably something involving the other girls
hmm- lepší příběh o těch dvou jsem ještě nečetl. dobrá práce autore.
Well done.
Finally, I'm glad somebody finally used the fact that Twilight was obviously going to declare her love for Sunset Shimmer in that one scene from Rainbow Rocks.
We all know it's true...
Well... It's not like we can have enough SunsetSparkle fanfics, right ?
(And especially not clopfics)
5571193 Jumping to conclusions, aren't we?
5571172 Wat.
You know what. I was originally just going to leave it as a one-off, but since you guys loved it so much and so many of you are asking for a sequel, plus since it's done so incredibly well so far... I think I'm going to change my mind and do another chapter or two.
5571735 That's great, but where are going to go from here?
5571728
I just appreciate your work in my language - czech
Better explain to their Canterlot High friends.
5571942 Ohhhhh. I had no clue, it sounded kinda like italian but I looked it up on translate and nothing came up :I Děkuji za přečtení!
5571903 You'll see. I actually had an additional part thought up just in case.
*see Incomplete tag*
quickmeme.com/img/27/273fe8631cf4f18e104ba9d066caa11bac641cedbd5656d5f14a51796c3e352e.jpg
Well... That was good.
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This was really good. Fave.
as you know. I am a big fan of your stories. you have not disappointed me here
This was so cute! So adorable! And so sexy! I would have liked to have seen more of Twilight's turn on top but oh well. I'd also like to see Sunset's reaction to this being Twilight's first time. That could lead to a very cute conversation I think.
5571735 only one or two? I was hoping for 10 or 20.
More of my absolute favourite shipping? Yes please
To those of you who doing know, im going to be doing a Q&A tomorrow and post the video on my page. If you have anything you wanna ask, please message me
And yes, by anything, I do mean anything.
This was f*cking amazing! Very well done, sir!
There is only one favorite button. This is unacceptable.
The thing I love about this is how innocent both Twilight and Sunset are. The love is apparent here, and I just love this coupling. I might have to start supporting this ship.
I MIGHT. Still unsure of it.
Well hot damn.
Hmm...
Calculating...
+keeps consistent character... especially our protagonist...
+writing is pretty good... flows well...
-circumstances feel perhaps a tad contrived... but not such that they are too distracting
I might recommend that the phrase including
be replaced with a simple ellipse. Such a phrase breaks the immersion a bit for me; it certainly is understandable that Twilight would change her mind, but a better way of communicating it may be with a pause and parenthetic remark rather than a simulation of handwritten words.
In addition, the use of "you" among the phrase
does so similarly in that the writer (Twilight Sparkle) hadn't previously used her writing in a diary-esque or letter sort of fashion.
I apologize if I have offered advice where it was not requested.
=Very good. Thank you very much. This isn't normally my favorite set of tags, but you've done them well.
The best story I read on here loved it so much
5577873 Thanks for the constructive criticism! Well, I don't personally think the scenes are too terribly contrived, but hey, I can't escape my own bias can I? The story is written in the form of Twilight's narrative via a journal entry so when she mentions "you", she's referring to whoever happens to read it I guess. I thought I made that pretty clear but maybe not; I apologize.
My Q&A is now posted on my main profile page! Go check it out if you want :D
Twilight is talking about Tirek's problem back in Equestria, but Rainbow Rocks and so this story aren't supposed to be juste after Tirek, since Twi's having her new castle?
Great story though! :)
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mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw302_small.jpg
Sunset + Twilight shipfic eh? Flash is going to be pissed at Twilight for getting with his ex mate lol
5584904 I don't care what flash sentry thinks :I
*grumble grumble grumble*
5586003 You tell em!
The only gripe I have can have with this story is the "Thud" sound effect twilight's panties make when dropping onto the floor... It momentarily broke the mood for me and made me snicker.
I mean, was she wearing panties made of bricks or something?
Aside from that little thing I truly enjoyed this story and I am secretly hoping for more.
5588722 Hmm I see what you mean. I was trying to go for that sound that cloth makes when it falls on carpet but that might not have been the best word. I might go back and change it later, thanks!
Sequel please? Q_Q
5593395 It's coming soon
5597746 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *FlutterShy's Voice* :3
Be sure to check out my Sunlight fic.
Here