My Life as a Bipedal Quadruped

by Snakeskin Ducttape

Tales of Mild Thrills

As I stood, or rather, as my wheelchair stood, and I sat, at the top of the stairs leading down to the main area of Golden Oaks, my trails of thought on how to tackle the problem of descending said stairs were competing for brain capacity with some fairly inane observations.

The reason I was even considering what I was considering was that the stairs of ponyfolks were not very steep. ‘It makes sense,’ was my first thought, but then my brain conjured up memories of wildlife documentaries, where gazelles or antelope, or some similar animal, were doing seemingly impossible stunts when escaping large cats, probably leopards, including climbing seemingly vertical cliff-walls. 'So a quadrupedal configuration does not automatically mean improficiency with steep angles.

‘Then again, walking down human stairs on all four as a pony might place one’s rear end uncomfortably higher up than one’s head, much like on all four on a level surface as a human. And those weren’t ponies on that show.

‘But then there’s the issue of the long necks, which could negate- Ugh! DOORSTOP!’ my head yelled at itself, quieting the other out-of-control thought processes.

‘Go get the doorstops from yours and Armor’s rooms and keep them in front of the wheels in case you lose control. Do it now, before I get angry.’

‘You don’t get to tell me what to do,’ I thought as I lit up my horn, turned on the spot, and made my way back down the short hallway to my objective.

‘No. I’m gonna be the one that tells me what to do. And I certainly hope it stays that way,’ I thought as I collected the central parts of my cleverness, shaking my head at the strange sensation of the mirage of separation of wills in my head lifting. And no, I wasn’t crazy, just a little quirky.

My practice last night, with some supervision by my host, had yielded results. I still couldn’t float around things all day like Twilight seemed to be able to, or even for an extended period of time, but it seemed like I could move myself several more laps around the library today than I would’ve been able to yesterday.

So it was with adequate accuracy that I placed the doorstops down the first step of the stairs, and gently willed my wheelchair forward.

Halfway down the stairs I realized that a safer approach would’ve been to get out of the wheelchair, crawl down the stairs, and bring my wheelchair along separately, but by then I was making fairly good progress and shortly after I was down the stairs, making my way towards the kitchen with its breakfast table.

I approached the kitchen and heard Armor and Twilight’s voices from inside.

“Perhaps it’s your training. I really am just a normal pony,” I heard Twilight say. “That’s why I’m so glad my brother was the captain of the guard before I was a princess. He knew what it was like to suddenly be so important… and it also made it easier for my parents, I think.” I could practically hear her roll her eyes at the "important" part.

“Perhaps, but- Oh! Gabe!” Armor said as I wheeled into the kitchen. “You’re awake?”

“Uh, yeah. What time is it?” I asked.

“Around ten,” Armor said. “Have you been up long? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just left–”

I waved him off. “Don’t worry. I’m supposed to learn to take care of this stuff myself.”

“Well, okay. How did you get down the stairs?” he asked.

“With these,” I said and showed them the doorstops.

‘Useful things, especially when used for something other than their intended purpose. So not just useful, "utilizeful"! I should keep some of these with me.’

“Maybe I should add a little bag or something to the side of this thing? Humans have pockets to carry around their stuff in.” I decided to not go into the subject of purses and why I didn’t appreciate them.

“We can get some saddlebags and have Rarity make them fit the chair for you.”

“Great, if she’s up for it. Anyway, have you guys had breakfast? I’m hungry.”

“No, we were waiting for you,” Twilight said. “Speaking of which, Derpy was here earlier. She’s the mailmare, by the way. You got something.”

“Really?” I asked. “What?”

Twilight gestured to the large bouquet on the table. “It’s from Daisy, Lily and Rose. The ones you met by their market stall yesterday,” Twilight said. “I think it’s an apology.”

“Oh,” I said, taken a bit aback. “Well, that’s nice. They look nice.”

‘The more pony names I hear, the more odd I feel.’

And it did. Hyacinths, lilies, yellow roses, and a few I didn’t recognise, all arranged in a very appealing manner.

“They look delicious,” Twilight said.

‘Oh, right. Of course.’

“I know you said you didn’t like flowers yesterday, but maybe you’d like to try some anyway? This looks really good.”

“Maybe as a side thing,” I said skeptically.

The flowers tasted like flowers. I decided to give the bouquet to Twilight and Armor to share, who in turn decided to save it for dinner. It felt a bit rude to give away a gift moments after receiving it, but I felt that being nice in turn to Twilight and Armor topped being disrespectful to three stranger who wouldn’t even know about it.

“Well, at least they smelled nice,” I said.

“I hope you’re not too disappointed,” Twilight said, her ears drooping.

I looked at her in confusion before realizing what an expression I had on my face, courtesy of nice smells’ constant companion. “Ah, I’m not scowling, I’m feeling a sneeze coming.”

“Oh,” Twilight said.

“Besides, you’ve already offered to order some of that, ah–” I started before the tickling in my new muzzle started building up “– sub– ah stit–”

(The traditional sneeze includes two verbal parts. The "ah" and the "choo". These two can morph into many similar but appropriate forms depending on the context. The statement that someone is about to sneeze, for example, can be appropriately responded to with the claim that "that’s- ah, not- ah, thcue!". I recommend that any visitor to Equestria to seize the opportunity to point this out to any young filly whom one suspects is about to do just that, especially in the presence of the stoic of demeanor and the serious of temperament. A standard kit for the visitor to Equestria should involve some sort of sneeze-inducing agent, and insulin. With this aside taken care of, we should return to the breakfast table of Golden Oaks, and focus on the lingering unfamiliarity recently shape-shifted humans can have with their own bodies, especially their muzzles.)

In my experience, the force of a sneeze needs to be appropriately distributed through both the mouth and nose. Too much through the mouth and it’s nothing more than an awkward and wordless exclamation, too much through the nose and your face feels like it’s punched from the inside, with the risk of a lingering unpleasant feeling in the ears. So with decades of experience with sneezes as a human, I brought my foreleg up to my muzzle, and even had the presence of mind to compensate for its forward positioning.

I had not, however, considered the large amounts of atmosphere it can accommodate. What would be a small puff for a human turned into something else entirely.

“– Tchute!” I finished with a trumpeting sound, immediately followed by a thick splashing sound. I opened my eye and beheld the results sprayed upon, and hanging from, my foreleg.

“Oh, eeeeew!”

‘Yeah, large noses with large amounts of content.’

I glanced up at Twilight's and Armor’s wide eyes.

“Well, I’m used to having a nose a lot smaller than this,” I said defensively. “Could someone help me into the bathroom, please? I don’t feel like touching things like this.”

-

I later found myself in the bathroom, clearing out any latecomers from my muzzle, and contemplating on what to do with my day.

‘I’m getting restless, but I don’t really want to go out into… well, "town" ,again, if people are just gonna stare at me. Then again, the flower-trio with the flowery names did send me an apology. But my computer’s also sitting down in the basement. Maybe I should watch a movie or something?

‘… Nah. When there’s magic, and a whole new world to learn about, I’m just gonna feel like I’m wasting my time if I sit and watch things I’ve already seen.’

I looked at myself in the mirror, still amazed at my seemingly impossibly voluminous mane. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t get enough of seeing myself as a pony.

‘Heh! Whaddya know? Mirrors are more fun than television.’

“Gabe!” I heard Twilight call from outside. “You have visitors!”

‘Really? Who? Well, I only know a handful of people around here, so it’s probably gonna pretty easy to figure out.

‘Well, you’re not gonna have enough time to figure out who, seeing as you’re thinking this while wheeling out the door.’

“Hey, Gabe!” a trio of voices called. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stood in the doorway, with Twilight and Armor by the side.

“Hey, guys,” I said happily, then looked around me. “Looking for books?”

“Nope,” Scootaloo said. “We’re here to get you.”

“Oh?” I said.

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said. “We figured that since you’re gonna be revisin’–” Sweetie Belle whispered something into her ear “–advisin’ the princesses, you may wanna start with practice advising three ponies on a great quest.”

“And, uh, what quest is that?” I asked.

“To get our cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle said.

“And you think I can help?”

“Yeah! Or well, actually...” Sweetie Belle started. “Rarity said you didn’t have a very good time in town yesterday. So we thought we could show you around Ponyville.”

I was starting to suspect what, or who, might’ve motivated the flower ponies into sending me that bouquet. “Okay, uh, good plan,” I said and turned to Twilight. “Any timeframe for comings and goings in this hou- library?... residence?”

“Not really, I guess,” Twilight said slowly. “Just try and keep it down if you’re coming back in the middle of the night,” she continued before giving me a small but warm smile. “Coming home in the middle of the night.”

That caught me off guard. I gave her a smile of my own before turning to Armor and then to the crusaders. “Is there room for five on this quest?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Scootaloo said. “We’re heading to Sweet Apple Acres first, If he turns out to be too lame for crusading, we’ll just leave him there.”

I gave an amused snort and turned to Armor to see him smiling good-naturedly. He leaned down to me and whispered, “I’ll be where you want me to, and I can keep a small distance if you want.”

“Thanks,” I whispered back, mostly worried about three enthusiastic fillies getting my wheelchair stuck in some underbrush somewhere.

-

“That there’s the school,” Apple Bloom said and pointed to a quaint building as we traveled through what could be called the "outskirts" of Ponyville. Actually, everything around us was quaint, with the occasional gaudy additions mostly found in and around the marketplace.

We were beyond the mainline of houses, here there were the occasional cottage or park or something of that nature found dotting the landscape, but it wasn’t the rows of charmingly non-uniform houses.

I wasn’t completely convinced that earth ponies weren’t at a disadvantage next to the other tribes of ponies, alicorns notwithstanding, but my conception that it might be difficult for earth ponies to maintain a community by themselves with full amenities were quickly proving to be unfounded. Ponyville was founded by earth ponies, and was still indeed mostly inhabited by earth ponies, but rusticness aside, the well-maintained look of Ponyville, with houses, bridges, lawns, shrubberies, parks, and other picturesque landscape/-architectural additions, spoke volumes of their capabilities.

I looked at the building that Apple Bloom pointed at. “How many peo- uh, ponies go there?”

“Every foal in Ponyville,” she said. “But don’t worry, there’s room for more.”

She said it like it was supposed to be impressive, but the size wasn’t, at least to me. “How large is the faculty?”

“The what?” Scootaloo asked.

“She means how many teachers there are,” Sweetie Belle said. “Just Miss Cheerilee. But she gets help with cleaning every week and sometimes we have guest teachers.”

I thoughtfully looked at the building again. ‘Well, with ponies being able to control the weather, I guess there’s not really much of a need for a PE building, so that’s quite a lot of profile shaved away from the building. Maybe there’s a lot of lectures outdoors?’

I looked back at the town. It was large enough for a newcomer to get lost in, but not for longer than a few minutes- the maximum amount of time needed to exit the housed area from the town’s center at an easy walking pace. “So it’s all one class?”

“Yup!” Apple Bloom said.

“And Cheerilee teaches most subjects?”

“Almost all of them,” Sweetie Belle said.

I shook the questions out of my head. ‘Perhaps this Cheerilee is a scholar to rival Twilight, or perhaps education is very basic in Equestria… no, probably not. Not with the long lifespans and impressive libraries. Sure, they don’t have a lot of high technology, but as far as I know, agriculture isn’t a pushover subject and magic adds a whole new dimension to knowledge. Also, on physical education with ponies here being, well, ponies, perhaps it just isn’t a thing in school here. At least I hope so, I shan’t miss it.’

Memories surfaced of the dreaded, flamboyant, short, and moustached fat man in the far-too-small training set, who insisted that dancing be the center of most PE classes.

I shuddered.

“That there is White Tail Woods,” Apple Bloom said. “We can go there all we want, so long as we don’t go near Ghastly Gorge.”

I looked in among the trees and saw a big shape moving around in the distance. I angled my ears towards it but it didn’t seem to be making any sounds. “And there’s nothing dangerous in there?” I asked.

“Nope!” the trio said happily.

“And that big thing that’s moving in there?” I asked.

The shape moved out of sight just as the Crusaders got a look at it. “Oh, that’s just Harry the bear,” Scootaloo said. “Don’t worry about him, he’s Fluttershy’s friend. I guess he’s hungry.”

‘“Harry the bear”, right. And his good friend “Barry the hare”?’

“And he’s not dangerous at all?” I asked.

“Of course not,” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, Scootaloo’s crashed into him twice,” Sweetie Belle said while Scootaloo shot her a dirty look. “He barely noticed.”

‘Oh, puns.’

“Okay...” I said.

‘Well, you’ve seen that video with the 70’s hairdos and the lion. A friendly bear isn’t that much of a stretch when in a magical world.’

A small river and a bridge later and we found ourselves by a very large fenced-off area with apple trees dotting the hills and plains as far as my eye could see.

“And this here is Sweet Apple Acres,” Apple Bloom gushed and I could understand why someone would be enthusiastic about living at a place like this. Not only was it picturesque, it was absolutely enormous. “Come on! Let’s show you around!”

Apple Bloom babbled on about the glory of Sweet Apple acres as we made our way down the path. The orchards of apple trees were neat and orderly, and I wondered what the Apple Family’s secrets were to keeping a landscape of this size orderly and picturesque with only four ponies. Not that I would have much use for them myself, but I did feel I might as well learn as much as I could about ponies, and if this was earth pony magic at work…

I registered Apple Bloom’s voice beside me, and realised that she was still talking. I looked back and shared a look with Armor, who was helping me around as always.

“And that there’s the main house,” Apple Bloom said and helpfully pointed to the only non barn-building in sight.

‘This seems like a nice point to rejoin the conversation.’

Not that the main house didn’t have a barn theme going on, too, but the window boxes and multiple entrances sort of gave it away as a place of residence. The lines of apple trees had opened up and made way for some other crops, as well as some fenced-off areas for animals and storage sheds and so on.

‘This could be a good time to find out what other creatures are sapient here. Do the pigs have horns and wings, too? Heh, a winged pig, that swine flew.’

“Are pigs intelligent around here?”

“Huh? Of course not,” Apple Bloom said. “Or, wait. Are they where you’re from?”

“Nope, but neither are ponies,” I said.

“Really? Did you make them dumb?” she asked and then let out a gasp. “Can you human-apes drain other’s brain power and make yourselves smarter and that’s how you made those machines that Spike talked about over at Sugarcube Corner!?”

‘That reptile might be a bit too into those comics. Then again, one theory goes that the proteins that humans’ ancestors got from eating meat was vital for evolving higher brain capacity… whatever, let’s not get into that.’

“Not quite, but I swear, what passes for pop music these days is actively trying to kill my brain cells.”

‘Is there pop music around here, hmm? Heh, “colt bands”.’

“Do you have that around here?”

“Not sure if the pop music’s the same, but I’ve felt the same with marching songs,” Armor said. “But at least we could spend the time thinking up our own lyrics.”

I could practically smell the smirk trying to muscle its way onto his face. “And what were those lyrics about?”

“Nothing to be shared in respectful company,” he said, and the smirking intensified.

The farm was seemingly still, but far from lifeless, with the vibrant colors and the sound of activity from both the house and the barn. We entered the house, and I took in the rough, but still homely, interiors. Like most of what I’ve seen of Ponyville, it had a warm but rough charm of an old, lived-in home, but without things like grime and cobwebs. Golden Oaks was still the winner, though, but this was nice, too.

“Well, howdy, y’all,” the jovial voice of Applejack sounded from the doorway leading into the kitchen. “I see you brought guests, Apple Bloom. Two of ‘em, at least. You two don’t count with how much free reign I give you ‘round this place,” she playfully chided Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, who had the sense to look at each other with at least somewhat abashed smiles.

“We’re gonna show Gabe around while we’re crusadin’,” Apple Bloom said enthusiastically.

“Well, if you’re starting out here, come on in, make yourselves at home,” Applejack said, and turned towards the open window., “Big Mac! We got visitors, you get over here and introduce yourself now!”

I caught sight of the big, lumbering form of who I had to assume was Big Mac, walking past the window a little ways away and called, “Eyup!”

The relaxed manner in which he called it helped a little bit, but I still felt like I was a source of distraction. ‘This is a place of work, after all.’

“Ah, I don’t wanna take up anyone’s time,” I said.

“Aw shucks,” Applejack simply said. “He needs to meet ponies anyway. I ain’t no o-ra-tor, but I still think he needs to learn to use more than two words a day.”

‘That seems a bit hyperbolic, coming from the element of honesty,’ I thought as Big Mac entered, in all his appropriately named glory. He had a relaxed smile of his muzzle, and opened his mouth as if to say something when he caught sight of me and immediately froze up, with eyes wide. My shoulders sagged a bit, and my ears joined them.

Just then, Applejack looked out from the kitchen to see her brother gaping at me. “Big Mac,” she said sternly, “didn’t I already tell you about Gabrielle?”

He tore his gaze away from me to meet his sister’s. “E-... yup,” he said and hung his head with ears folded down.

“So I would’ve assumed that you would be ready for the sight, and not just stand there with a dumb look on ya.”

Big Mac looked like he was about to say something, but seemingly decided not to, and instead just nodded. ‘Hmm, I guess he does only say two words per day.’

“Now, apologize,” Applejack said.

Big Mac turned towards me and further hung his head. “Sorry,” he said after a pause. It was muttered, but still sounded genuine.

‘Well, maybe he saved one from yesterday.’

I realized that me just sitting there looking dejected didn’t really help anyone. I forced my ears up. “It’s okay,” I said. He looked really ashamed of himself for something that the whole town did yesterday. At least, it seemed like the whole town at the time. “Really, it is.”

He slowly perked up, as emphasized by his ears, and gave me a hesitant smile.

“And the three ponies I met at the market just froze up and took a whole day to apologize. So, not bad by comparison,” I said, trying and probably succeeding in sounding carefree.

“What did they do that took a whole day?” Applejack asked.

“Sent a bouquet for breakfast,” I said, a phrase that didn’t sound any less absurd to me when I said it out loud.

“Well then, I don’t think we should do any less,” Applejack said as she walked up towards Armor. “This here’s Studded Armor. Big Macintosh, Studded Armor, Studded Armor, Big Macintosh.”

‘Oh, that name makes more sense.’

“You just entertain our guests for a spell while I go get something ripe.”

I looked back to see Armor looking at Big Mac with an apprehensive look. At first I was afraid that he taken the introductions poorly, but then he shook hooves with Big Mac. “A pleasure,” he said.

“Eyup,” Big Mac said.

“You’ve been at the hardware store in town, right?”

“Eyup,” Big Mac said again, but this time I could swear that he said, "Of course".

“Thought so, I recognised you. I think I’ve seen you there when I was here a few years ago.”

Big Mac gave Armor a scrutinizing look. “Eyup.”

“You fillies hungry?” Applejack asked.

Her choice of words reminded me of how old she, and everyone around me really, was compared to me. I had felt very confused every time I considered age-related topics in Equestria. How these old beings could still act so… not childish, or even innocent, but perhaps "playful" is the right word, or "un-solemn".

Then again, A lot of older people I’ve known, humans that is, weren’t very solemn or dignified, themselves. It might be a quirk of humans, without magic to help us, we’ve had to hurry up and grow serious when we became adults. Leaving behind the distractions of fun and games in order to improve our lives. And perhaps those undignified and playful older people had finally learned to reconcile that a productive existence can still contain plenty of levity.

Perhaps it might also have something to do with being a senior human sort of losing the desire to prove themselves. If these ponies can lead such safe, full, and comfortable lives, coupled with their slow aging, perhaps the seriousness that many young adult humans have doesn’t manifest. ‘Frankly, if this is the case, I’m with the ponies on this one. That tense ambience I remember from school felt a lot like posturing… am I coming across as immature for acting like an adult?’

“Well, I’m not,” Apple Bloom said. “How about you guys?”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle let out some noncommittal denials.

“Not me, thank you,” I said. “We ate just before we left. How about you, Armor?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s good, because I don’t expect we’ll have dinner ready until sundown. But all the apples in here are fit for eating,” Applejack said. “Granny just finished inspecting them.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Our granny, Granny Smith.”

‘… Right.’

“Eeh, did somepony say something?” An almost comically gravelly voice sounded. Actually, all of the Apples sounded funny to me, but I’d never say that.

We made our way into the kitchen and I saw a green, elderly earth pony, with emphasis on "elderly". Ponies could live for hundreds of years and now I believed it.

“Granny Smith, Studded Armor and Gabrielle Desrochers. Gabrielle, Armor, Granny Smith,” Applejack said with all the correct gestures.

Granny seemed to have eyes only for me and walked up and inspected me closely with a highly scrutinizing look. I would normally be a bit sick of staring by now, but while my right side got a good, long look, Granny’s gaze mostly lingered on my face.

Then she instantly mellowed and took my hoof in hers and shook it. “Well, fine visitors, that’s nice. Always a pleasure,” she said and shook Armor’s hoof as well.

“Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres,” Granny continued in a pleasant tone before making a small pause and leaning up to Applejack. “Keep an eye on her ‘round the hen houses!” she whispered and then turned away from a startled looking Applejack, back to us. “You tell us if we can offer you anything. Only food we have here is produce, though, fair and plain.”

Armor and I looked at each other, and the other Apples seemed a bit puzzled and embarrassed, but mostly puzzled, by Granny’s behavior.

“Why, thank you. That’s very nice,” I said hesitantly, wishing that Armor could take the reins in situations like this. “So it’s only you four that lives here?” I asked.

“Well, us and Winona, of course,” Applejack said.

“Who’s Winona?” I asked as I heard the quickly approaching barks of a dog.

“Winona’s–” was all that Applejack could say before some sort of collie shot through the door at lightning-speed and pounced me, tail wagging all the time.

“Oomph!”

The impact tipped my chair over and I found myself on the floor with a manically happy hound on top of me, furiously licking my muzzle.

‘Ah, canine greeting rituals. At least this time the falling over part’s done and I don’t have to untangle a leash around my prosthesis with a small yappy dog skimming around me.’

“Winona! Hoof!” Applejack’s stern voice sounded. The dog reluctantly disengaged, walked over to Applejack, and looked up at her with a pleading face.

“You okay there, Gabe?” both Armor and Applejack asked at the same time, as Armor walked over and helped me up.

“I’m fine,” I said and glanced around at the assembled ponies who were giving me worried looks.

‘Yeah, I don’t know about you guys, but getting knocked over by a dog isn’t vigorating for one’s pride, and getting pitying looks even after you say you’re okay makes it worse.’

“Really, I’m fine,” I insisted and made sure my eyepatch was still in place. Big Mac offered me a napkin and I started wiping the canine saliva off from my muzzle.

“Sorry about that, Gabe,” Applejack said.

“That’s okay, she’s just excited about meeting new people, I guess.”

Applejack looked down at the dog who looked back with an intensely expectant expression and legs tensed like springs. “Yeah, you like meeting new ponies, don’t you, girl? You don’t mind dogs, do you, Armor?”

“Well, no,” Armor answered, only slightly nervously.

“Okay then. Winona,”– Winona got a ready-to-pounce-stance, –“say ‘Hi’,” Applejack said.

A pony’s face is by default not very far away from the ground, compared to a human, which makes one of more social dogs favorite activities very easy.

Winona let out a bark and immediately ran up to Armor and started licking his muzzle, tail wagging like she was promised cake if she did it enough.

“Mmph! Alright, alright! Nice to meet you too,” he said, fending off the pooch while I idly wondered if fur allergies were even heard of here.

Winona eventually calmed enough to simply stand and look at everyone with an expectant expression. I took the liberty of hoofing the napkin over to Armor when I was done with it. The smiles from the comical scenes were slowly fading to be replaced with expectations that none knew how to address.

Missing the awkward silence until it was nearly upon us, I grabbed the first thing in my mind that could keep a conversation going and brandished it like a warding symbol. “Nice place you have here,” I said. “Everything, I mean. Beautiful farm.”

“Why, thank you kindly,” Applejack said, pleased, and with the least convincing attempt at surprise I’ve ever heard. “Want anypony to show you around?”

“We’re already doing that,” Apple Bloom said happily.

“Alright then, take some of these with you,” she said with a pleased smile and hoofed us a bowl of apples to pick some from. “I don’t feel like bragging, but it’s a big place.”

I smirked a little on the outside and some more on the inside. ‘Sure you don’t.’

“Oh yeah! Viaticum is important for any adventure,” Sweetie Belle said. Scootaloo grabbed a few and stuck them under her wings.

“Well, we should get going,” Apple Bloom said. “Cutie marks await.”

“So what’s next?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Let’s show Gabe our clubhouse,” Apple Bloom said.

“The CMC headquarters is strictly adult-free, though,” Scootaloo said and shot Armor a meaningful look.

The crusaders started pushing my wheelchair out of the house and into the orchards. I looked back at the full grown ponies behind us and said a hurried, “thanks!” before they vanished from sight.

“How strictly?” Armor asked.

“What do you mean, ‘how strictly’?” Scootaloo said.

“Only ponies approved by the Cutie Mark Crusaders supreme executive body can enter the headquarters,” Sweetie Belle proudly stated. “And standard time for the processing of an entrance approval request is three to five months, unless overruled by the governing officials by a majority approval rating of one to four.”

Armor and I shared a goodnaturedly amused look from the whole thing before he took control of my wheelchair. “So can I enter?” I asked.

The crusaders looked at each other for a second or two before Apple Bloom nodded. “Approved,” she said.

“And how about me?” Armor asked.

They looked at each other again. “Standard process,” Scootaloo said.

“Can I at least see the clubhouse?” Armor asked.

Another shared look. “We could be persuaded to do that, and–” Scootaloo paused and looked at Sweetie Belle, who leaned towards her and whispered in her ear “– expedite your approval request if you share some information.”

“And what information would that be?”

“How you got your cutie mark,” Apple Bloom said enthusiastically.

“Alright. My sister and I got ours together when we stood up to some bullies who were calling cousin Gambeson fat.”

I leaned over to look at Armor’s mark. A mail coif with little pockets for pony-ears. ‘How many variations of armor symbols have been in his family?’

“Cool!” Scootaloo said. “We should try that! We can find Diamond Tiara and stop whatever she’s doing!”

I didn’t know who this Diamond Tiara was, but that sounded a bit hasty to me.

“We already have plans for today, though,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well, alright,” Scootaloo said, relieving me from trying to persuade them otherwise. I didn’t wanna go looking for trouble my third day here.

“Was he fat, though?” Scootaloo asked Armor.

“Who?” he asked.

“You cousin.”

“Gambeson. And no, she’s never been fat. Just big and strong, and kind of mellow.”

“Like a big dog?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Or your brother,” Scootaloo said to Apple Bloom.

“Funny thing was that ten years later, pretty much all of the ponies who bullied Gambeson got a huge crush on her,” Armor said amused.

“Is she a guard, too?” I asked.

“In training.”

“Well!” Apple Bloom suddenly said. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders apologise for interrupting, but only those with entrance approval can go any further.”

We had been heading slightly uphill for some time now and the orchards had gradually become more and more wild. Not like an actual forest, but not quite like aisles at a convenience store like around the farm house, either. But here, a clearing opened up and we were in front of what obviously was the fillies’ clubhouse.

If anyone had told me it was a treehouse, I would have been a bit iffy about the idea. But taking ponies weather manipulation ability into account, the CMC clubhouse seemed like it could actually be viable for residency. Of course, I’d be counting on ponies, especially earth ponies, knack for all things plant-related to keep unwanted fungi and such out of the premises, but still.

“Okay then. I’ll go and see if anypony back at the farm would like some help with anything,” Armor said and winked at me. I didn’t respond with one of my own but after another, slightly more insistent wink, I blinked at him and he walked out of sight.

I lit my horn up, barely noticing how easy it started feeling, and slowly wheeled up towards an opening in the trees overlooking Ponyville from this surprisingly high rise.

“So this is where you spend your days?” I asked, enjoying the peaceful view.

Perhaps it was being around quality friend material and finally doing what should come naturally. Perhaps it was me seeing the beautiful sight, knowing that it’s my new home. Perhaps it was me being a little out of the way here, like I preferred it. Perhaps it was all that and more.

The Crusaders stood in silence for a little while before answering.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle slowly said. “Are you okay, Gabe?”

“Mmm. I guess. It’s just that this made me feel so… I dunno. Relaxed, or relieved.”

‘And a bit old.

‘That, and right now I could go for some Joe Hisaishi music.’

I noticed my eye was getting pretty soggy. ‘Oh, come on! It was just a pretty view.’

I paused and blinked it away before turning around to the trio, and noticed that I still held an apple in my hoof. Deciding it would be a waste to just hold on to it all day, I bit down on it and marvelled at the taste.

“Good, huh?” Apple Bloom happily asked.

“Mhm. So, you, mmh, want to get your cutie marks?” I said around the apple in my mouth.

“Yup!” they said happily.

“Alright. Let’s get down to it. How do you think I can help?”

“Well, let’s show you the planning room and we can think up something,” Apple Bloom said and walked up and started pushing my wheelchair towards the little house in the tree.

‘Oh look! Wheelchair friendly… ish ramps.’

I hadn’t seen any of the crusaders’ actual crusades yet, but Twilight had told me a little about them. “The most obvious thing I can add is the chance to try out being disability assistants. That or xenologists, or something.”

“Well we tried that with Granny, but it was pretty much just helping out at the farm like any other day,” Apple Bloom said.

“Just as well,” I said as we entered the small house and I took in the interior. “With any luck, this is gonna be temporary.”

“What? Your, uh your… legs?” Sweetie Belle asked as they sat down on a large carpet.

“Yeah,” I said and chomped down on the last piece of the apple. “I’m gonna try and make some new enchanted ones, and Armor’s uncle is gonna help.”

“Cool!” Scootaloo said. “Tell us if you want any help. I wanna see that!”

“Are there any sanitation protocols concerning these things?” I asked and held up the apple core.

Apple Bloom just shook her head and I threw the core out the door and into the bushes. ‘This thing better not ferment inside me, or anything. Or is that not horses?’

“By the way, what’s a xenologist?” Scootaloo asked.

“Uh.” I did some quick cross-references of the words in my head. “People who learn about outside things,” I said. “Like, foreign cultures and things like that.”

“Oh, yeah, what do humans do for fun?”

I shrugged. “Lot’s of things. Like ponies, I guess. This might sound a bit boring, but I like more quiet things like reading and watching movies.”

“Ooh! Spike said that that machine you have is like a supersmart movie screen,” Scootaloo said.

‘He hasn’t even seen it run.’

“Eh, something like that.”

“Can we see it sometime?” Scootaloo asked.

“Hmm, I’m not sure if I actually gave it to Twilight or just lent it to her. But yes, I suppose you can. Can you guys help me down?”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo walked up to me and let me. I set the brake, put my foreleg around Apple Bloom’s back and hoisted myself forward. She slowly back away so that I gently lowered to the ground.

“Thanks. I’ve been sitting like that for hours, now. Gimme a second,” I said and rolled over on my back.

I stretched and my back let out a loud pop. “Ah, that’s better,” I said, slowly sat up and peeled up my eyepatch. I had to sit with my hind leg in a bit like meditative position to not fall over, which wasn’t very comfortable, but it didn’t hurt or anything.

The Crusaders, and especially Scootaloo, looked on with sheepish anticipation.

I couldn’t help but smirk a bit. “Yeah, you can look. In fact, tell me if you see anything in there, like a hair or something.”

I opened my socket and started feeling around the opening. Like the last time, the crusaders looked on in awe and disgust. “Yeah, there’s a hair in there,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Where? Is it all the way in?”

“No, it’s sticking out by the side,” she said.

“Oh, good. Can you get it?”

Sweetie Belle nervously reached forward with a foreleg before stopping herself. “Uh, sorry, but, I kinda don’t want to.”

“Mm, alright, somewhere around here, right?” I said as I poked with my hoof at the side of my face.

“Yeah.”

I found the stray hair and started pulling it. The sensation of a long strand being pulled out of your socket felt so utterly wrong that I instinctively brought my eyelid down. Which, of course, just made the whole thing worse.

I shuddered and brought the long strand up to my eye. It was from my own orange mane. “Ugh, I should have brought those goggles that Rainbow gave me.”

‘I’m not doing that Simpsons reference.’

The Crusaders were looking at me with a mixture of pity, curiosity, and perhaps a hint of suspicion. I folded the eyepatch down again. “You girls look like you have something on your minds.”

“You…” Sweetie Belle started. “You’re… acting, well, a bit like a grown-up.”

‘Heh. I wouldn’t agree very often.’

“Would you say that that’s a bad thing?”

“Uh, no!” Scootaloo said.

“Oh course not,” Apple Bloom agreed.

They backtracked on this pretty fiercely, and I was in a situation that I still often didn’t recognise very readily, when people are so afraid of offending me that they don’t want to suggest anything. I wasn’t blaming them, though. There was a good, long while where my brain would sometimes involuntarily interpret the most innocent or neutral remark as a stab at me and my situation. I was coming to terms with trauma, of course, so maybe I should cut myself some slack, but I still cringed when I remembered how touchy and snappy I occasionally was.

Instead, I just gave them a small smile that came out a little more wistful than it perhaps should have. “I suppose that’s good then. I was worried I’d just be odd.”

“You’re not odd!” Apple Bloom said fiercely. “You’re just… tough, I guess,” she trailed off with a small blush.

‘Ooh! They’re thinking that I’ve been through so much that I’ve lost all my innocence or something like that. I should probably… what’s the word? Assuage their fears. I’m not a child soldier or anything.’

“Didn’t I mention human lifespans?”

“Uh, no?” Scootaloo, the trios faces full of curiosity.

“Ah, well, humans are lucky to even reach one hundred years of age,” I said. “So before I became a pony, I was a grown-up.”

“Really?” Apple Bloom said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty six,” I said.

“But you’re– oh, right.”

“So, are you an adult or…?” Scootaloo trailed off.

“Well, that’s the question, isn’t it?” I said. “What makes someone an adult? In fact, what is an adult?”

They sat and considered this for a while.

“Someone who gets to decide bedtimes?” Apple Bloom suggested.

I was gonna gently deny that, but considering how arbitrary the whole concept was becoming to me, I decided to simply say, “Perhaps.”

“But if you’re an adult, do you still want to hang out with us?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“But if she’s used to hanging out with ponies as old as us, wouldn’t that make sense?” Scootaloo countered. “But if she’s acting like an adult, maybe she wants to talk about adult stuff with Rainbow and the others… but they’re much older than she is. This is weird.”

“Heh! You’re telling me,” I said. “But yes, I do like hanging out with you. It also gives me a chance to learn about ponies of different ages.”

“Oh,” they all said in unison, sounding disappointed, their ears drooping slightly.

“We thought it was because you wanted to be friends,” Apple Bloom said.

“Uh…” I said, taken aback. “It’s… well, uh, I’m getting to know you. That’s one of the first steps when making friends, as far as I know.”

“Really?” Apple Bloom said.

The conversation was getting weird to me. “Uuh, yes. How did you become friends?”

“We just sort of became friends at the same time when we decided to discover our talents together,” Scootaloo said.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. And my sister and her friends just sort of became friends when they stopped Nightmare Moon,” Sweetie Belle said.

I mentally compared this to how I was used to making friends as a human. The images that I got was of ponies being like small, excited dogs jumping and yapping and sniffing at each other, while humans seemed more like cats, unmovingly glaring at each other before grudgingly deciding that the others’ presence was tolerated. Or maybe it’s just how this comes across right now. A bit early to jump to conclusions with a sample size of two groups.

“So you’re making us your friends right now?" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“Uh, yes,” I said.

“Awesome,” Scootaloo said and they all raised a forehoof at me with excited grins. “High hoof!”

I carefully raised my foreleg to the same height as they did.

An enthusiastic clopping sound later I found myself on my back.

“Sorry, Gabe,” Apple Bloom said.

“That’s okay,” I said, still kinda grateful for being a lightweight yet strangely hardy kid again.

“You wanna get back in your chair?” Sweetie Belle asked as they moved up around me.

“Yes please.”

Apple Bloom offered her neck for me to hook my foreleg around while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle grabbed my right side, and they carried me over to the chair and placed me down in it.

Scootaloo’s face went red when she touched my right shoulder, but it seemed like her curiosity won out against any abashment. She gently put her hoof against the small bump where my right foreleg would be, practically invisible under my coat.

“Wow, this is so weird.”

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle said, disapprovingly.

“Oh! sorry,” Scootaloo said sheepishly and removed her hoof.

Personally, I was a bit amused at her innocent wonder. “Aheh, it’s okay. And that’s nothing compared to suddenly getting a horn.”

“You can totally feel the scar, though,” Scootaloo continued before looking at me with sympathetic eyes. “Does it hurt?

“Yeah, sometimes,” I said and then, continued when I saw her scared expression. “Ah, not by touching it, I mean. It just acts up every now and then. Both of them. It used to happen a lot but not as often anymore.”

“But hey, if you’re gonna make new legs, can you put gadgets in them?” Scootaloo said excitedly. “If you can then you totally should.”

I considered that for a moment. ‘Yeah… the most nifty thing I’ve seen on a prosthesis is a cigarette holder.’

“... I should, shouldn’t I?” I said slowly.

“Yeah! That’s a great idea!” Sweetie Belle said. “You can get Pinkie Pie to put a mini party cannon in there.”

That stopped Scootaloo for a moment while I looked at Sweetie Belle in confusion.

“I was gonna say a grappling hook,” Scootaloo said. “But that’s a pretty good idea.”

“What’s a party cannon?” I asked.

“Everything Pinkie needs to set up a party,” Apple Bloom said enthusiastically. “It’s got confetti and balloons and sometimes cake.”

I considered how such a piece of engineering, or perhaps gunsmithing, might work, before filing it away for later.

“So anyway,” I said. “What have you done to try and find your special talents?”

I was willing to try and help the Crusaders even though I still didn’t really know how the whole thing with cutie marks worked. Which made it doubly awkward that I had one and they did not.

“Well, we’ve been keeping notes here,” Apple Bloom said and pointed to a map of a town that it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out was Ponyville. It was nailed to a wall with an enormous amount of papers attached to it and the wall around it.

Reading through the previous activities was a bit of an undertaking. A few of them were given, like the ones related to their sisters and their friends’ talents and professions. Other than that were things like salesponies, journalists, delivery ponies, (yes, it was called Pony Express) confectionery makers, carpenters, stage magicians, sport coaches, capers, (that one made me a bit suspicious) pyrotechnicians, (that one, too) weather ponies, scribes, and on and on the list went.

After having studied the list for a bit, and finding the titles "adventurers" and "field agents" a bit too vague to be helpful, I turned to the Crusaders. “Have you tried all of these in Ponyville?”

“Yup,” Scootaloo said happily.

I looked at the list again. “How do you study marine biology around here?”

“Fluttershy had a cul-de-sac dug out in her backyard from the river by her house. The weather ponies keep it warm there so there’s coral reefs and everything there,” Sweetie Belle said.

“... Alright, sure,” I said, and turned to the list again without really looking at it.

“Speaking of Fluttershy and her animals, why do you have them fangs?” Apple Bloom asked.

“They’re not actually fangs,” I said. “They’re just… leftovers from when humans’ ancestors had need for them. As for why I have them, I don’t actually know. Twilight said I was probably turned into a pony by wild magic on a fluke, and for some reason my teeth stayed the same shape. The doctors and Twilight all say I’m fully a unicorn, though. I guess the shape of one’s teeth doesn’t make a pony.”

“That makes sense,” Scootaloo said with a shrug. “You sure look like a pony.”

“Why did humans’ ancestors need fangs, though?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Didn’t I tell you?” I asked, a bit surprised. “Humans are predators. Well, biologically at least.”

They looked at me again, this time with wide eyes.

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah, but don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not gonna sink my ‘fangs’ into anyone’s neck. I don’t even think that’s what they’re for.”

“Why not?” Scootaloo asked.

“Because primitive humans relied on tools to hunt. So their teeth can’t have been that effective. And people who still hunt these days probably use guns,” I said with a shrug.

“What’s that?” Sweetie Belle asked.

I thought back to the equipment of a few of the more militarily themed statues in Canterlot Castle. “Think of it like crossbows that’re really precise and easy to use.”

“Do you have any movies with those?” Apple Bloom asked.

‘An unladylike amount.’

“A few.”

“It’s too bad, though,” Scootaloo said.

“What is?” Sweetie asked her.

“I thought it would be cool if Gabe could show us how to hunt, or something,” Scootaloo said.

I held back an amused snort. ‘That would indeed be pretty bangin, if I could.’

“Eeew! Why would you want that?” Apple Bloom asked, her tongue sticking out in disgust.

“I don’t mean actually eating animals!” Scootaloo said hotly. “Just, you know, show us how. Sneaking through the forest and finding tracks and stuff.”

“I think that’s just tracking,” I said. “Sadly, I’m not sure I’d be much help with that either.”

“So that must mean that you didn’t use your fangs against them timberwolves?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No,” I said. “Had a magical surge, according to Twilight.”

“Wow,” Sweetie Belle said. “I can’t remember having any real magical surges. Rarity had one when she was a filly. So did Twilight, when they got their cutie marks.”

“Seems those are pretty common when it comes to cutie marks,” I observed. “Might be something to keep in mind when crusading.”

“Why?” Apple Bloom said.

“Well, what if it’s about something subtle?” I asked. “What if you get your cutie mark when trying out something subtle like, uh… a stagehan- hoof, or something, and there’s this big bang with lights from the side of the stage in the middle of the performance? Or, uh, you try bird watching, or painting, and you knock things over?”

Sweetie Belle put her hoof to her chin. “Yeah, that’s good thinking.”

“So, what do you wanna do, Gabe?” Apple Bloom asked. “We could show you some more around Ponyville, and we have some board games here.”

“Uh,” I said and gave this some thought. “Well, I’ve made a little list of things I want to get done, learning geography around where I live now is among them.”

“What else is on that list?” Scootaloo asked.

“Learning about enchanting, training up my magic muscle, or whatever you wanna call it, and start working on my new legs.”

“That sounds hard,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Which one?” Scootaloo asked her.

“Making new legs,” she said. “I thought learning magic with Twilight was really hard, and biology with Miss Cheerilee.”

“I guess it does,” I said. “But… I dunno, when I think about it, I just get this feeling that, even though it’s probably gonna be really hard, I can do it.”

“That’s your cutie mark telling you that,” Sweetie Belle said.

I gave a small smile at that. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

‘Yeah, it feels like some sort of quasi clairvoyance, certainly not baseless confidence. Imagine if I had this, but with music.’

“Magic is weird.”

Scootaloo took a deep, calming breath in anticipation. “Oh, I want my cutie mark now so much.”

“Well, if you haven’t found your cutie marks, maybe we can see if your cutie marks can find you? Is there anything else to see of Ponyville?”

“There sure is!” Scootaloo announced excitedly. “And I know how we’re gonna get there.”

-

“Are you sure you can handle the extra weight?” I asked in an only slightly raised voice towards Scootaloo.

“Yes I am, with no problem,” she called back. “You barely weigh a thing compared to Apple Bloom.”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom called behind me, and I did a slightly better job at not sniggering at her.

The Crusaders had been gracious enough to sandwich me between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in their cart, which was thundering down the road out from Sweet Apple Acres, over a bridge and onto a road outside the town proper, pulled along by Scootaloo’s scooter, propelled by Scootaloo’s wings.

It actually sounded a bit like a two-stroke engine, though not nearly as loud. Which was a good thing. I remember the summers when all the little teenage boys and girls were trying out their mopeds on the long, straight, and lightly trafficked road just outside my window.

Several times a day, an incessant, metallic groan would sound in the distance, gradually getting louder over a span of time about one and a half to two minutes. When the zenith was reached, you had the comforting knowledge that it would be just as long before the sound faded, and that in a few minutes time, you got to hear it all over again from the other direction. All assuming that the driver was alone, of course.

It was not how I wanted to be woken up during my vacation.

Anyway, there was suddenly an alarmed exclamation from Scootaloo from the front, and the whole cart did a spectacular overturn and somersault at the same time. I found myself resting upside-down against a tree, my hind leg coming to rest on the ground in front of my face.

I would have given a more detailed description of the whole stunt, since it was actually pretty fun, but my helmet had partially spun around and lodged my horn in the internal ear accommodations, covering my eye with the cheek part of the helmet. So I can’t give a visual account of what happened.

“Snips! Snails!” I heard Scootaloo call indignantly. “What are you two doing in the middle of the road!?”

I made a little wiggle with my legs and barrel to make sure that nothing hurt but had just forgotten to remind my brain, then slid down on with my back on the ground and started pawing at the helmet.

“We met Pinkie Pie earlier, and she said that you three always have a bunch of fun with tree sap, so we figured that we’d try that!” a boy’s cringe-inducingly whiny voice said.

I rolled over and started fumbling for the clasp of my helmet and almost forgot to use my magical sense ability.

“Yeah, good thing that we didn’t spill it,” another boy’s voice said, this one pitifully vacant. “But if we had, you guys might’ve gotten it over you, and then I could’ve seen what’s so fun with it.”

I sensed the world around me again, saw the colors and outlines that made up my surroundings, and the gently, swirling glow that made up myself and the other five ponies around me. The two new ones were also unicorns, one short and tubby, the other tall and skinny, with a bucket between them.

I stopped struggling with the clasp when I noticed that Scootaloo’s wings burned like the sun.

Or actually, it was more like the glow in her wings was simply more intense, but still, it stood out.

“No, it wouldn’t!” Sweetie Belle screeched. “My sister would use you as pincushions if I got any of that in my mane thanks to you.”

I fumbled the clasp open and my helmet was practically catapulted off from my head by all the hair trying to escape. The crusaders were glaring at the two unicorn colts while picking themselves of the ground, none worse for wear.

“Oh, speaking of which,” the small one, whom I had to presume was Snails from his cutie mark, said. “Did you hear there was a new unicorn in Ponyville?”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom deadpanned, and started making her way over to me. “You knocked her over.”

Snips and Snails looked at me, their expressions more bewildered than shocked.

“What happened to you?” the tall one, Snails, said.

“Traffic collision,” I said.

“Are you okay?” Apple Bloom asked me.

“As far as I can tell,” I said and shook my head. “How about you guys?”

“We’re fine,” Scootaloo said.

“But what happened to your legs?” Snips said.

“Lost them,” I simply said.

It’s strange, really. Children could often simply ask me what’s up with my arm and leg while their parents cringed in the background at their bluntness. I would pretty much always just say it the way it was, I lost them in a car accident. Did it hurt? Mostly no. Wasn’t it hard to do things? It certainly could be. Could they see it? Maybe some other time.

But losing a limb leaves one pretty emotional about it. Or it certainly left me emotional about it. So it was a bit hard to say for certain which kind of gawker you simply didn’t mind and which ones rubbed you the wrong way.

Snips and Snails didn’t say anything mean, really. The Cutie Mark Crusaders honestly only had a mediocrum more social grace when we first met. But in this situation, for reasons I can only describe and not define, I just wanted them to go away.

‘Alright, they haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not that bad...'

“Why do you have an eyepatch?” Snails asked before his face lit up. “Are you playing pirates?”

‘… But impatience and stupidity does not mix well.’

“Oh! Can we play pirates, too?” Snips asked.

“We’re not playing pirates,” Apple Bloom said, scowling.

“Why is she dressed like a pirate, then?” Snails asked, somehow sounding like he had found a flaw in Apple Bloom rhetoric.

“She’s not dressed as a pirate, and we have got to go,” Sweetie Belle said as she rolled up beside us in the cart, Scootaloo again at the helm– wheels… handlebar!

Apple Bloom pushed me and Sweetie Belle hauled me up in the cart and Scootaloo started taking off.

“But we wanna join!” Snips called.

“Tree sap and pirates don’t mix!” Scootaloo called back as they faded in the distance.

-

“So this is one of the lakes,” Sweetie Belle said. “The other one’s got a jetty and things, but we usually prefer this one because there’s usually less ponies around.”

I smiled as I struggled down from the cart and into the sand. “Aaah. I haven’t been to the beach in forever.” It wasn’t a real beach, of course, and I would rather call it a large pond rather than a lake, but there was water, and fine, warm sand that large enough parts of weren’t partially covered in grass.

“And right there is Rainbow Dash’s crater,” Scootaloo said excitedly.

I looked at an overgrown pit that Scootaloo was pointing at and only then noticed the signs that it was a point of impact. “And why do you call it that?” I asked.

“Because she was doing something too awesome for normal air,” Scootaloo said before her expression turned a bit sheepish. “Which I guess is why she crashed.”

I slid down to the water and splashed my hoof in it. Despite it coming down from a mountain in the distance, the water was pleasantly warm, and it hadn’t passed through town yet, which, despite Ponyville cleanliness, I saw as a good thing.

‘With a pond like this, I can live without an ice cream joint or imported palm trees.’

“You wanna take a break?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Sure, unless you mind, of course,” I said.

“I don’t need a break,” Scootaloo said confidently. “But I’ll take one anyway if everypony else will.”

I sat back and tried wiggling my toes into the sand, and not worry about how much of it could get stuck in my tail. I looked down towards my rear hoof when the sensation didn’t feel like what I expected.

The crusaders followed my gaze towards the limb and the invisible force that was stirring the sand around it.

I let out a slightly disappointed, “hmm.”

“Wow, you can do that with your rear hoof too?” Apple Bloom said.

“I guess so. You remember when I told you about feet?” I said. When they nodded I continued. “Well, humans have these little digits called ‘toes’ on their feet, a bit like Spike does, and I really like feeling the sand and water between them.”

“Doesn’t it work with your frog?” Scootaloo asked,

I wiggled my hoof a bit further into the wet sand. It wasn’t the same, but it was still nice. “Hm. Kinda.”

“So what was it like to be a human?” Scootaloo asked.

I laughed a little bit at that. “That’s kind of a big question,” I said. “Should we try and figure it out all at once or narrow it down?”

“What did humans do for fun when they’re foals?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Children, that’s what we call them, well… lots of things, I guess,” I said, and tried remembering what I had done when in my youth that wasn’t that distant, certainly not around here.

“Well, when I was a little girl–” I started as Scootaloo let out an amused snort.

“It’s so weird that you used to be a filly, then a mare, then a filly again, while actually only being a filly,” she said.

I laughed a bit at that myself. “I guess so. Though we only call it ‘girl’ and ‘woman’. Anyway, we mostly played normal games, like hide-and-seek and things.”

“Yeah, what’s it like when a predator plays hide-and-seek?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Do you pounce each other and tussle when you’re found?”

“That sounds like my kind of game!” Scootaloo said. “Just like what Cheerilee and Zecora showed us about lions!” – Scootaloo crouched down with an adorably fearsome look in her eyes – “A fierce predator, stalking her prey,” – she started slowly creeping along the ground – “And then! It’s a chase for life and death!” she finished and suddenly flew around us an inch off the ground, her wings buzzing.

I laughed a bit at that. “Not really, no,” I said.

‘It’s gotta be boring to play tag or hide-and-seek with pegasi.’

“I guess that quadrupeds don’t play Irish New Years?”

“What’s that?”

“When you’re bipedal, it’s the dumbest fun you can have with a bat or appropriate stick the length of your waist,” I said, and continued when I saw their curious expressions. “Right, if you normally walk around on your rear limbs, like humans, you can take something like a shovel handle or a long enough bat, plant one end towards the ground, bend over and place your forehead to the other end of the stick, and then simply run around the bat while keeping it in place. When you’ve run a few turns, simply try and run a straight line. It’s best if you do this at the beach or something where you won’t hurt yourself by falling over.”

I smiled at them, correctly guessing that it wouldn’t make much sense to them. “It’s near impossible,” I said.

They looked at me with unfathomable confusion in their eyes. “Look, just trust me, it’s fun to do, and even funnier to watch.”

“So, uh,” Scootaloo stared nervously. “When did you lose your legs?”

“Ten years ago,” I said simply. “All at once, arm, leg, and eye at the same time.”

They were looking at me with tentative curiosity, and I knew what they wanted to ask, of course.

The hesitance to push too far was understandable for the situation, if you thought about it. If they offended me, they couldn’t just come up with a fast excuse to take off and leave me to get over any slights by myself, since that would pretty much strand me here. It was actually pretty sweet of them.

“Do you want to know what happened?” I asked not a hint of impatience in my voice.

They nodded.

“Not much to tell,” I said and looked down at the waterline. “I was in an accident together with my parents, and I was the only survivor. Or, well, most of me,” I said, the bitterness slight, but unintentional.

I looked up and saw them looking at me with miserable expressions, tears gathering in Sweetie Belle’s eyes and their ears drooping.

That made me realise that my own ears were at half-mast and I gently raised them to their upright positions.

“But it’s funny, in a way,” I said and looked down at the water again. “I didn’t choose to come here, to Equestria, and while it hasn’t all been great, I still like being here.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see their ears slowly being raised.

“And I don’t think I would have, if I had a family to leave behind. I would’ve been desperate to go back, and not… put them through what I felt,” I continued. “But they’re not there. So this feels like, I dunno…”

‘Feels like you’re ready to crawl out of your shell. Step outside and enjoy the sunshine again.’

“Just feels nice, I guess.”

The Crusaders were looking at me with cautious joy, or perhaps relief. ‘Gabrielle Desrochers, you are the most emotional pretender in two worlds. Be grateful that they’re not wringing their necks out of awkwardness-induced cringing.’

“Like moving on to greener pastures,” I finished, figuring that now was a good time for awkward puns.

I looked up at the Crusaders. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had had immediately noticeable expressions of sadness on their faces. Apple Bloom’s sadness, however, was in her eyes, deeper and older than the other two fillies’. I thought back to the residents of Sweet Apple Acres, and the distinct lack of a Mr & Mrs Apple.

She gave me a slight smile, which I returned.

“So,” Sweetie Belle started cautiously after a while. “You didn’t leave a very special somepony when you got here?”

In hindsight, I should probably have been able to figure out what that meant as it was being said, but it still threw me. “A what?

“You know,” Sweetie Belle asked, with Scootaloo was giving her a disapproving look. “A special somepony.”

“Somepony you do icky things with,” Scootaloo said.

I wondered what flavor of "icky" she meant and just how special they figured that people can be to each other. Regardless, I hadn’t left anyone like that behind.

“Nope,” I said. Kind of amused at the whole thing.

“Have you ever had one?” Sweetie Belle pressed.

“If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, then yes I have,” I said.

“Oooh!” she said, and laid down on her belly with her head on her hooves, her rear-legs and tail idly waving in the air. “Have you ever kissed a colt?”

I abandoned all plans on how to approach the subject of former "very special someponies" in my past. “Humans aren’t called ‘colts’, but yes.”

“How was it?” Sweetie Belle asked eagerly.

I didn’t have to answer, however, as Scootaloo loudly protested with a loud, “Blegh! I don’t wanna hear about that.”

“Not into romance?” I asked smilingly.

“I’m not into cutesy, mushy stuff at all,” she said.

“I don’t know,” Sweetie Belle said teasingly. “The way you talk about Rainbow Dash is pretty cute sometimes.”

“Is not!”

“Yes it is,” Apple Bloom said, her rejoining the conversation making me happy.

“Gabe agrees with us,” Sweetie Belle said.

“No she doesn’t, it’s not cute,” Scootaloo insisted.

“Here’s how cute I think it is,” I said and started talking in a mock dramatic voice. “The HMS Desrochers was sailing across the sea of cuteness, when it suddenly was caught in a kitten storm, seemingly out of nowhere.

“The meows and chirps tore through the air relentlessly, and barely audible was the voice of the first mate, ‘The cutie wind, Cap’n, it be too strong! The ship can’ae take it!’” I finished with a comical pirate voice.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had doubled over from laughter and Scootaloo herself was torn between scowling and laughing.

-

The bell over one of the doors to Sugar Cube Corner jingled as Scootaloo started pulling it, only to be bowled back by Pinkie Pie as she shoved it open like a pink tornado.

“Hey, you guys!” she said happily. “My Pinkie sense was telling me that someone would like my help over here.”

“Uh, yeah,” I said as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom made their way out of the cart.

“Say no more,” Pinkie said as she happily cantered forward to me, reared up, picked me up in her forelegs, and tossed me across her back with surprising gentleness.

“How expedient,” I managed to say as I was regaining my bearings.

“Why, thank you!” Pinkie said as she trotted in through the door, towards a booth in an empty corner of the place. “I try my best.”

“So what can I get you?” she continued as she deposited me in an empty seat and the crusaders took up positions about the table.

“Something warm and filling, and something refreshing to drink,” I said.

“Chocolate donuts,” Pinkie said. “I just finished a batch of them. I’m gonna take some over to Twilight.”

“Oh, can you get my goggles when you’re there?” I asked. “They’re at the nightstand in the room where I sleep.”

“No problem. What about the rest of you?” Pinkie asked.

“Strawberry muffin with rainbow sprinkles,” Scootaloo said.

“Apple pie,” Apple Bloom said.

“Same for me, but–” Sweetie Belle started.

“But with extra vanilla,” Pinkie Pie stated confidently and Sweetie Belle nodded.

Pinkie Pie trotted away towards the kitchen and the Crusaders turned to me to continue our conversation.

“So you’re totally fine with talking about you being… you know,” Scootaloo said, uncertain.

“Disabled. That’s a good, neutral word. And yes, most of the time,” I said, clearly not convincing them.

“Look,” I said and shrugged. “I used to be very passive-aggressive about the whole thing, but my psychologist made me realise how unfair it was to let people try and figure out by themselves how I feel about it, so I promise you, if I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll tell you outright.”

“You had a psychologist?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Of course,” I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I was traumatized, Sweetie Belle,” I continued, as kindly as I could. “I’m not ashamed to say that I needed one.”

“But you’re better now?” she asked.

“Much. Though I’m actually kind of worried about him,” I said, a hint of unease in my voice.

“Why?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well, when I first met him, I was in pretty bad shape. Emotionally, I mean,” I said. “And while I got a lot better, I haven’t seen him in years, and now I’m suddenly gone without a trace. I just hope he doesn’t assume the worst, or feel guilty,” I said.

The Crusaders looked as uneasy about that as I felt. “Another reason I hope that Twilight at least figures out how to send messages to Terra soon,” I said.

A pair of pink hooves suddenly gripped my head and yanked me over to the edge of the booth, again with surprising gentleness.

Pinkie Pie put the side of her head against the top of mine and slowly stroked her ear across my forehead with a small, “Hmm”.

“Uh…” I said.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Gabe,” Pinkie suddenly said happily and let go of me. “I don’t get any floppies, no twitchies, no achies, no spassies, not even any gurglies! It’s all gonna be fine!”

Before I could ask what she meant, she had moved our orders from her back to the table and gently bounced away with a happy, “Enjoy!”

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, Gabe, Pinkie can predict things by how and where she feel twitches and whatnot,” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh, that was the famous Pinkie sense?” I asked.

“Yeah. Or, I guess we’ll have to assume it was,” Sweetie Belle said.

“So Pinkie Pie is psychic?” I asked after a while.

“Uh, kinda,” Sweetie Belle said.

‘Kinda psychic?’ I thought as I surrounded a chocolate donut with a magic blue aura, floated it up to my muzzle, and started chewing. ‘Sure, I can dig it.’

“So…” Scootaloo started. “When you were a human, what was it like to… you know?”

“Uh, are you talking about being disabled again?” I asked.

“Uhm. Well, yeah.”

“Alright, look, I guess I made a mistake earlier when I didn’t speak up. I wasn’t upset when you touched my shoulder or anything, so let’s clarify some things,” I said and scooted closer to Scootaloo.

“Is this disgusting?” I asked the crusaders and gestured to where my right foreleg would be.

They eagerly shook their heads, not saying anything.

“How about this leg?” I asked and gestured to the stump of my hind leg. “Or my eye?”

They shook their heads again.

“Unnerving? Weird? Scary?” I asked, and they kept shaking their heads. “I’m not trying to put you on the spot. I won’t be sad, or angry, I just wanna know what you think about it.”

“Well, your eye is a bit icky and scary,” Apple Bloom said.

I nodded evenly. “Alright. Don’t worry, I think so too, sometimes. How about you two?” I asked Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

They nodded slowly and a bit reluctantly. “A little bit,” Sweetie Belle said.

“I think it’s,” Scootaloo started before stopping herself.

“Freaky?” I suggested.

“Uhm, yeah,” Scootaloo admitted reluctantly and looked down in her lap.

“But you seem pretty curious about it,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said again.

“Then you can ask about it,” I said with a shrug.

She didn’t seem very convinced, so I broke my nine hours of chocolate donut in half, and pressed them against each other to form a mouth out of pastries that might’ve been vaguely offensive if I was still on Earth. “Hey, Gabe,” I said in a cartoonish voice, making the donut halves move like a mouth.

“Yes, Sweet Cheeks?” I answered myself.

“Can people ask you about your disabilities?”

“Sure thing.”

“Do you have a right foreleg?”

“Nope.” I stopped this and looked at the crusaders, their smiles slowly growing easier.

“Unfortunately, that’s all the questions Sweet Cheeks’ got time for,” I said and slowly floated one of the halves into my mouth with a small, high-pitched, “Noooo!”

“Omeone elshe’s go’a take o’va,” I said, feeling only slightly like an animal. Unicorn magic rocks.

This seemed to have coaxed the crusaders out of their shells.

“Can I feel what it’s like, too?” Apple Bloom asked gesturing towards my shoulder.

“Sure,” I said.

Sweetie Belle joined in as well. “What happens when you try and move your leg?” she asked.

“This,” I said, the muscles flexing slightly under the coat.

“Whoooa,” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said in fascinated union

“Did you have any fake legs?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yes, though they’re called ‘prosthetic legs’, and one of them was an arm, of course,” I said.

“How did they work?”

“Well, I normally only used a leg. It worked pretty well, and if I put some effort into it, I could walk around with barely any limp. The arm, on the other hand, couldn’t do much.”

“Why?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I didn’t have much left to control it with. I had this kind of old type with wires and pulleys. I’ve seen people do some pretty impressive things with those, but it’s hard enough to have one below the elbow, I didn’t even bother learning to use one without an upper arm,” I said and slurped at the milkshake I got with the donuts.

“Wasn’t there newer ones, then?” Sweetie Belle asked.

I shook my head and swallowed a piece of pastry that I probably should have chewed a bit more. “Yes, but I never got one,” I said. “I mostly managed to get by with only one arm. For example, I had two keyboards for my computer, one of them was on the floor, and I could press the bottom keys with my foot so that I didn’t have to pause my typing every time I needed a two keys pressed at once.”

They looked at me blankly. “Just trust me, it was clever,” I said.

“So that’s how you’re gonna make your new legs?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“No way,” I said. “I have magic now, and I’m good with enchanting gems. So it’s probably gonna be magic all the way.”

Scootaloo looked thoughtful at this. “Alright then,” she said after a moment, sounding determined. “Eat up, fillies. I know where we’re headed next.”

“Aaw, you don’t want seconds?” the voice of Pinkie Pie suddenly said from the side. Sweetie Belle let out a surprised shriek.

“Well, yeah, okay. We kinda do,” Scootaloo admitted.

“Great!” Pinkie said and laid out a tray with another helping of sugar.

“And here are your goggles!” Pinkie said, placing them below my horn in a single movement.

“Ah, thanks,” I said, instantly feeling cooler by an order of magnitude. “Who’s paying for this?”

“Twilight does, but you don’t have to worry about that if you don’t want to, Gabe. You’ve got diplomatic immunity, I think,” Pinkie Pie said and bounced away, humming a random melody.

-

“So what is this place, anyway?” I said as Scootaloo brought the cart to a halt up on a ridge overlooking Ponyville.

“It’s a gem field,” Apple Bloom said as she hopped out of the cart and carried out a pair of shovels and a pickaxe (from the Sweet Apple Acres tool shed) with her mouth.

“We figure that we can help you and try prospecting at the same time,” Scootaloo said.

“Huh,” I said. “If a place was filled with gems so near a town where I come from, people would pick it clean pretty fast.”

“You mentioned that gems were really valuable where you come from,” Apple Bloom said. “But here, I guess they're not so much. Except to Spike, maybe.”

“And my sister,” Sweetie Belle added. “That’s why she got kidnapped by diamond dogs once when they were out here digging for them.”

“Oh yeah. Those guys,” I said, remembering the one who told the others to throw me to the wolves.

“Are they still around?” I asked, sniffing the air, remembering that their odor was very distinct, and remembering the benefits of a pony’s nose.

“No, Rarity showed them what for,” Apple Bloom said.

“She did?” I asked.

“Yeah, you don’t wanna mess with her,” Sweetie Belle said proudly. “She didn’t win that wrestling championship for no reason.”

I could only look at her dumbfounded. “What?” I managed to ask after a while.

“It’s true. She's got the belt lying around in a closet somewhere.”

“It’s just that Rarity didn’t strike me as someone who likes wrestling,” I said.

“She’s not, she mostly did it for the chance to make a costume for it, and to help Miss Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle said.

“So your teacher is a wrestler, too?” I asked.

“No, but her twin sister is, and when she hurt her hoof once, Miss Cheerilee entered the championship in her name and won with Rarity as her partner,” Sweetie Belle said.

I didn’t really know what to make of this. “Alright,” I said slowly. “She sounds like an interesting mare.”

“Yeah, she’s the best,” Apple Bloom said.

I shook my head to clear it, and looked up at the slowly setting sun. “So what’s the plan?”

“You got a bunch of gems at your welcoming party,” Sweetie Belle said. “But knowing my sister, they’re probably all top notch. So we can dig up some in bulk to use for practice.”

“Good thinking,” I said and looked at the fully outfitted crusaders. “So what’s my job?”

“You get to be the gem detector,” Apple Bloom said.

“Alright then,” I said happily.

I would’ve been a bit skeptical of the plan, but I reasoned, accurately, that I could find them with my magic scanning ability. I projected myself into my horn, and after another explanation that yes, I can indeed "see" with my eye closed, the hunt was on.

-

“Hyia!” Scootaloo shouted as she shoved the pickaxe into the ground again.

“There’s nothing here,” she said. “I didn’t feel anything.”

Pretty early during this undertaking, the crusaders’ enthusiasm had dipped for about ten seconds after they had looked at their flanks and not noticed any cutie marks. I was pretty curious myself about what it looked like when one appeared, since I missed it when my own did.

“I know,” I said and rolled my eye. “You kept chipping them when you dug like that so I told you to dig right beside it.”

“Oh,” she said a bit sheepishly as Apple Bloom brought the shovel down into the loosened earth, weakly illuminated by the slowly setting sun.

“Where is it?” Apple Bloom asked.

“It’s right in front of you,” I said. “Try removing, eh, two scoops of earth, I wanna try again.”

Apple Bloom took the shovel in her mouth and dug. I directed some magic into my horn and reached out for the stone in the ground.

These last few hours had been really helpful when it came to me and magic. It was getting easier to light it up, so to speak. It was feeling less and less like lifting a limb and more like simply letting it roll open.

I reached out, grabbed the rock, and pulled upwards. It came out with a small explosion of dirt.

“Haha!” sounded my triumphant exclamation.

“Pah!” sounded Apple Bloom’s disgusted gag.

“Oh, sorry,” I said.

Apple Bloom spat out another piece of dirt. “That’s okay. Good job, by the way.”

“Thanks,” I said smilingly, looking at the bounty.

I didn’t know much about gem cutting, as in nothing at all, but I was pretty sure that they didn’t look like this when you got them out of the ground back on Earth.

I grabbed the bag for finer specimen and put the latest catch in it before scanning the area again.

“Does anypony feel cold?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Like, a cold wind?”

“That’s strange, there was no wind planned for tonight,” said Apple Bloom. “Might be from the Everfree.”

Gusts of wind started flowing around us, and there was a strange rhythm to them. “I dunno,” I said as I looked up into the sky with the small amount of daylight left. “Sounds like a huge, slow propeller or some–”

That was as far as I got before a great, dark shadow swept across us and took me with it like a vortex in a sea of starless night.

My heart pounded in my chest as the wind blew my mane back like I had stepped behind a jumbo jet. I looked around, half in terror, half in a daze. Ponyville spread out below me, far, far below me. My heart pounded in my… barrel, as I gripped the bag of gems and gathered up enough presence of mind to magic the goggles down over my eyes.

My foreleg and the bag of gems were hanging out from the edge of something I realized was gripping me. I looked up, away from the direction of the wind, and in the twilight, I could just make out an enormous, scaled snout a short distance away from me.

An unsure, “uh,” was all I managed to say at that point.

That all changed when the snout in front of me opened slightly, and a giant, long, forked tongue exited and licked the front.

“Mmmm. Om nom, nom,” a deep voice sounded between lazy lip smacks.

Then the snout opened up fully, revealing a few mountain ranges of razor-sharp teeth. It let out a lazy, “aaah,” and slowly brought me towards the opening.

I had never truly panicked before, and I don’t think I did a very good job at it this time, because I tried letting out a loud scream like I was in the hand of a giant gorilla at the top of the Empire State Building, but it just came out as a hesitant, “aaaah?” in darkly humorous duet with the other voice.

I made another attempt, this time not perfect either, but it did the job. “Ah! Uh, aah aaaAAAAAAAAH!”

The other voice suddenly stopped with a confused, “aaaaouh- huh?”

A giant, slitted eye with a faint yellow glow opened and looked at me with utter confusion. “Uuh?” the voice said, followed by a startled, “Aah!” concluded by a shocked, “Oof!” as something slammed into the side of the snout and we started losing altitude fast.

Whatever gripped me was rocked by another impact and the deep voice let out a pained yelp and let go of me.

I looked towards where I was headed, made cursedly easy by the goggles, and almost passed out when I realised that the two seconds I had spent figuring out that I was falling towards a forest, it had come closer by a very worrying amount.

‘Something had obviously happened when I screamed, and right now I’m definitely gonna take my chance with something happening rather than letting things proceed like this.’

I decided to give it another shot. “AAAAAAH!”

Another dark shadow grabbed me mid-flight, halting my descent with unpleasant briefness.

I considered flailing, but a more rational side reasoned that even if it was the grip and the giant maw, it was preferable at this point.

I would later feel somewhat pleased that I had stopped screaming by then, at least.

I was whizzing through the night, realizing that I was only just above a line of trees, when a voice that should have sounded familiar, but which I will blame the wind for not recognising, said, “I got you, Gabe,” before another dark shape swiped at us and I once again found myself hurtling through the air.

Luckily, there is a beautiful life form found both on Earth and in Equestria. It is called the Spruce, and it deserved the capital S, for it was ready to catch me with extraordinarily gentleness, countless green needles and all.

It caught me in its tip and flexed what felt like a full ninety degrees before depositing me in the care of its significantly less pleasant, but thankfully not as tall compatriot, the elm.

I hit a total of three branches before I came to a brief halt, with me hanging on one side of the second final branch, and the bag of gems acting as a counterweight on the other, twirled a full turn around the branch.

I looked up at my hoof, gripping the end of the bag, but what phantom fingers make up for in stamina, they lack in sticky secretion, and I felt my grip slipping.

I looked down towards the ground. The fall wasn’t as short as I would’ve liked, but at least there was a bush without any obvious thorns waiting just under me.

I let out a dejected sigh, curled my hind leg up against the rest of me, and let go.

A smack and a thump later I found myself lying in the shrub, and just as I sat up, gingerly raising my goggles, thinking that the ordeal might be over, the bag of rocks gleefully reminded me of its existence by landing squarely on my head.

“Ow!”

I fell back against the shrub again in exhaustion.

I felt like saying something flippant, to show myself what a cool head I can have in situations like this, but whatever I was gonna say came out as a whimpering groan.

The danger had apparently passed, and if I was feeling more sprightly, I would’ve been wondering about what happened, why I had been sailing through the air, why I ended up here, and, well, really, just what happened.

I’m not sure how long I lied there, taking deep, calming breaths and nursing the bruise forming on my head, when I heard a strange combination of sounds in the distance.

I didn’t even have the energy to look up when I heard a loud whooshing sound, and I don’t know if it was intuition or exhaustion that stopped me from looking up at the source of the sounds before it stepped into my line of sight with a worried look on its rainbow-adorned features.

“Gabe! Are you okay!?” Rainbow Dash asked.

I took a moment to have another rundown of what I felt, even though I kind of didn’t want to.

‘Pain… sharp, but shallow. Chilly, tired, bruised.’

“Kind of, perhaps tomorrow,” I muttered.

Rainbow gently fished me out of the shrub and held me in her forelegs when Twilight landed beside us, immediately followed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their cart.

“How is she?” a worried-sounding Twilight said.

“She’s tired and wants some painkillers,” I muttered.

Rainbow gently placed me on Twilight’s back and the Crusaders hesitantly retrieved the bag from the shrub and placed it in the cart.

“Thanks, guys,” I mumbled through Twilight’s wings and absentmindedly tried giving them a thumbs-up.

“So what happened?” I managed to ask after a while as we made our way back through to town through the light undergrowth.

“Dragon got you,” Rainbow Dash said, sounding angry.

My eyebrows went up at that. “Really? Why?” I asked, feeling a small amount of energy returning to me.

“Dumb lizard thought you were a snack,” Rainbow said.

“That’s not an appropriate way to refer to dragons, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “But yes, he smelled gems in his sleep and took off with you unconsciously.”

“How do you know that?” I asked as we came out from the trees.

“He told us,” Twilight said and pointed to a large, squirming shape a little ways away.

As we came closer, I saw that it was indeed a downed dragon. He didn’t have Spike’s bubbly complexity, and was instead covered by sharp ridges and hard growths.

Big dragons were impressive (though I would later learn that this dragon wasn’t really full-grown), but what was truly astonishing about the scene, and which I forced myself to have a second wind for, just so that I could take it in and memorise it properly, was Armor, my companion, helper, and bodyguard.

The apparent doof of his unit, Private Armor, also known as "Codpiece", had a dragon at least fifteen times his size in a sort of armlock. The dragon’s arm was held behind his back by Armor’s forelegs, and he had gained additional leverage by bending the dragon’s neck backward and angrily biting down on an ear ridge.

“Okay, dude, OKAY! Time out, man. Time– OW! Time out, You win, dude, chill!” the dragon begged in a voice that I would’ve pictured on a beach in California, who was very worried about the authorities finding the indoor plantation in his basement.

“I think it’s okay, private,” Twilight said. “If he tries anything, we’ll be ready.”

Armor looked at me and Twilight and his expression of angry determination lessened somewhat before he let go of the dragon.

The dragon immediately rolled over and started nursing his arm.

“Ooooh,” he whined. “That was totally uncalled for, dude.”

Armor’s expression had gone from burning with rage to smoldering with disapproval. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again before any sound came out, and instead continued to just glare.

“You kidnapped a foal!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “And you were gonna eat her!”

“Man, I didn’t mean to,” the dragon said. “Like I said, I eat when I sleep, and I must’ve smelled something groovy.” The dragon shrugged, looking slightly remorseful.

There was a rattling sound behind us, we looked back and saw Sweetie Belle holding up the bag of gems.

The dragon sniffed the air. “Yeah, man. That’ll be it.”

Had I been more awake, I might’ve questioned the ability to smell gems, but like I’ve learned to often do here in Equestria, I just mentally shrugged and went, ‘Magic’.

“So what’s gonna happen next?” Armor said, only grinding his teeth during the first few words.

The dragon shrugged. “I’unno, man. I was just flying south, I wasn’t looking for trouble. Can’t I just keep doing that?”

“You almost ate a foal and honored guest of the crowns!” Twilight protested.

The dragon’s eyes went wide with terror at this. “Aw, man! The Sun Pony,” he whined before crouching down before Twilight and looking pleadingly into her eyes. “Don’t tell them, dude! The Sun Pony is, like, way tense about other ponies. And her sister is even worse, man. This one dude, he like, tried to mess with Moon Pony, and she, like, shoved his snout up his cloaca. Literally, man. I’m not even joking!”

“Well, I think your victim should have some input on what happens, don’t you think?” Twilight asked and looked back at me.

The dragon’s slitted pupils went thin as straws when he saw me. “Oh, dude! I didn’t do that, did I!?” he asked, shoved his claw into his maw and started groping around.

“May’e the’e shti’ll in he’e.”

At my current state, it took a while before I realised what he was going on about. “No, they’re not. You didn’t chew me up,” I said. “You just tried bowling down a forest with me as the ball.”

The dragon stopped groping around his mouth and slowly looked between me and Armor. “Aw, man. I’m sorry, I must’ve knocked you out of his arms,” he said and pointed at Armor.

“That’s right,” a still scowling Armor said.

The dragon looked down dejectedly. “Alright, I messed up, man. I’m sorry.”

“So you both fly and eat when you’re sleeping?” I asked.

“Sometimes.”

“Has it ever caused any problems before?” I asked,

He looked up with remorseful seriousness. “No, dude! Seriously!”

“Well, it has now,” I said and looked to Twilight. “What do you think? Can Princess Luna help with sleep-related issues?”

“I think she’s gonna be perfect for the job, and the timing is great,” Twilight said with a satisfied smile before turning to the dragon and pointing to the mountain in the distance. “Alright, you. Canterlot, now! And we’ll know if you don’t go there. More importantly, Luna will know.”

The dragon let out a sigh and took off, before calling back to us. “Sorry again!”

We watched him fly towards the capital for a moment before I let out a big yawn, my exhaustion catching up with me.

“Wow, Gabe,” Scootaloo said. “First you escape from diamond dogs, then timberwolves, now this!”

“Yeah, I thought you were gonna go through a hydra, or at least some manticores before moving up to a dragon. But they’re gonna be a piece of cake compared to this,” Sweetie Belle said.

I chuckled at that, which made the pain from my bruise flare up again. “Oooh.”

“Are you fillies about ready to call it a night?” Rainbow said.

“I am,” I said and turned to the Crusaders. “Thanks for today, guys. It was really fun, and kind of exciting.”

The trio gave me some fairly sheepish smiles.

“Yeah, you wanna hang out again, sometime?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah,” I mumbled into Twilight’s wing and tried giving them another thumbs-up.

“Alright, I’m gonna take these three home. See you guys later,” Rainbow said before looking back at Armor and smiling. "Awesome job, dude!"

“Later, Gabe,” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, we’ll drop these off tomorrow,” Apple Bloom said and jangled one of the bags of gems.

I simply waved.

Armor took me in his forelegs and we started gently hovering towards the hopefully empty streets of Ponyville.

“So what happened?” I asked, giving up on the prospect of keeping my eye fully open.

“That dragon came out of nowhere and picked you up, I followed, and the Crusaders went straight for Miss Dash’s house and called for help, then to Golden Oaks,” Armor said, his angry scowl having left the same time the dragon did.

“Were you watching over us all day?” I asked.

“Of course,” Armor said. “I was on a cloud the whole time after we went to Sweet Apple Acres. Miss Pie even provided me with a meal the same time as you.”

“Hmm, yeah. I thought I saw a glimpse of you now and then,” I said.

“How do you feel, Gabe?” Twilight asked.

“I’m bruised, tired, and kinda filthy,” I said, fishing out a twig from my mane. “But I’m fine otherwise. How about them self-defense magics, eh, Twilight?” I said with a chuckle.

“Yes, I think it might be time for those pretty soon,” she said.

“Hey, Armor,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” I said and pecked him lightly on the cheek.

I wish I could’ve seen his reaction. At the time, I think I wanted either a confident smile or a stunned blush, but I fell asleep the moment my head started falling back.

-

“Trouble sure seems to like you, Gabe,” Redheart said.

I had woken up as we entered the hospital, and Nurse Redheart was currently applying a watertight sleeve around a bandaged bruise on my hind leg while I was holding a bag of ice to my head, barely able to sit upright.

“Everyone seems so social and outgoing here in Equestria,” I said. “Don’t know why Trouble would be an exception,” I said.

She laughed lightly at that. “Well, you’re shaping up to be quite the adventure magnet, but if you’re gonna save the world like Twilight and her friends, can you do it away from Ponyville? I think Mayor Mare is gonna have a nervous breakdown if you’re gonna start doing these things as well.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I muttered.

“Alright, time for a wash,” Redheart said when she finished. “And if I was in your horseshoes, I wouldn’t bother trying to stay awake during this.”

“Thanks, Redheart,” I said as she carried me into the bathroom.

“Just look forward to tomorrow,” she said. “Sounds like you’re making a lot of progress with your magic, and now you have lots of materials to practice your special talent on.”

“Mmm, that’s a good point,” I said as I felt the relaxing embrace of a warm shower and fell asleep again.

“It is indeed,” a deep, distant voice echoed in my head. “Now, let us commence.”

Author's Note:

Man, It's good to be back. As always, cred to Topaz Moon and Eckaji for their help and feedback. The former wrote pony-stories long before me that you should check out, especially if you like ponies and high technology bumping into each other, and now the latter is writing as well, and you are encouraged to check his story out, too (it's got ponies).

I might not seem like it, but I have quite a story kind of planned for Gabe. It uses elements from the comics, especially the Reflections-story arc. The kind of recent Siege of the Crystal Empire threw a few wrenches into the cogs, but I think I can still make it work. And I hope people won't think I'm ripping off Normal Life when I get to the end of my planned story-arc, because it's probably gonna be using elements that Normal Life has hinted about using, too.

Comments

[Araw]

yay! Update! I'm just happy this isn't dead.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6958948 'Course not. It's just that school has been keeping me busy, and the events mentioned in my blog had me in a bit if a funk. But I'm serious about that thing I wrote in the author's notes. I do have a long story-arc in the works.

[Dravkwn]

Gabe can be the honorary 7th element of harmony since she seems to be a trouble magnet like the other 6.

[Syroc]

Ahh! I was just lamenting that this fic hadn't updated in a while, and now it has! And it's an awesome update! Hooray!

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959018 More like the 11th if you take Spike and the CMC into account

6959023 Thank you, and you're welcome

Let's just hope a profession leaves at least as much time for this as school does.

[Moowell]

I'm not sure what to think about the deep, distant voice in her head at the very end...

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959032 Ominous, no? I hope the suspense won't be too annoying. Let's say that things that have been foreshadowed earlier is slowly gonna start playing an active role soon, and that voice it part of it all.

Edit: Or, wait, did you mean that it was poorly written? Because your comment reminded me that I needed to edit it

[Eldrimur]

Great update. Thanks for the good work. This is one of my favorite stories on this side, and number one HiE stories I have read (read most of them).

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959153 Really? That's high praise to me. I've read some pretty bucking great HiE-stories

Anyway, my pleasure, and thanks for the encouragement

[Morphy]

6958980

A long term plan is a Good Thing(tm) to have. Writing aimlessly has caused so many good fics to write themselves into a corner with no decent way out, or they fade away because the muse left. The bit where Pinkie checked for future drama was very assuring, I liked that.

That said, did Gabe level up? Her magic was coming along quite well as noted. Without having a similarly aged unicorn to compare her with, I can't tell if she's behind or ahead of the bell curve for unicorn magic. Speaking of magic practice, time for Professor Twilight to teach Defence Against The Dark Arts! Remember, it's levioohsah.

[Dipti]

Great ta see ya back!!!!!

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959244 Oh, I've seen that before, too. I still didn't have much of a plan when I started writing this, but the planned arc has been in the works since... about chapter 4, I think. And who knows what Pinkie was doing? She probably can't tell what's gonna happen, but she can tell you that this story won't do a complete 180 and turn into a tragedy.

As for magic, Gabe is indeed progressing quickly, and she's gonna be fairly powerful, though not even close to Twilight. Maybe Trixie, though. But she's gonna have tricks up her sleeve. Keep reading to find out why she advances so quickly

I don't wanna do too much of the 'this character is this powerful and this character is this powerful'-thing in the actual story. That seems like another way to write yourself into a corner, and even if it works, I don't think it would be very rewarding. I noticed how tempting it is to go that way when writing, but I've read shonen-action before and that stuff is only fun in some situations, and even then for a limited time.

If there are gonna be magic words in Equestria, it would make more sense to have them in ancient Greek rather than Latin

6959246 Great to be back

[Xenon]

I dont know, it seems like this plot point is going to Drag On....

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959317 I was gonna defend myself by saying that it's a Slice Of Life, but those last two words started with capital letters...

[Misdirection01]

Hooray it updated! Great chapter. I wonder who the deep and rumbly voice belongs to, though. Looking forward to more.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959688 Thanks. I'm looking forward to writing more. I wonder if I should try and pull a Mac Walters and tell people that I want them to speculate about the story specifically, who the voice belongs to.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959798 Can we just handwave this and call it magic, or whatever? Because if we can't, that would mean that every single human-into-pony story would be about the human freaking out over the exact same thing, over and over. While there are some good stories about just that, it would get dull pretty quick if they were all like that.

[Morphy]

6959827

I'd also like to point out how elastic the human mind is, in a figurative sense, not literal. Ew. Does this mean we'd figure out how to handle a prehensile tail suddenly sprouting from our back? Probably. But turning into a pony isn't as bad as turning into a squid, there's common points of reference and besides, ponies are cute for the most part. I doubt I'd flip my cheese if it happened to me, but then I'm easy-going... and suddenly being released from all my Earthly responsibilities sounds a little awesome. (No more crushing debt! No mortgage! No more Comcast bill that always gets higher every month! No more soul-sucking 9 to 5 grind!)

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6959919 Sounds about right to me. And this isn't supposed to be a Harlan Ellison-story

[readsponies]

I mean, I know you like to show off your vocabulary, but you really shouldn't put viaticum in Sweetie Belle's mouth unless you're ordained and she's dying...

[Greatazuredragon]

Awesome chapter, great work.

[The Rogue Wolf]

The dragon’s slitted pupils went thin as straws when he saw me. “Oh, dude! I didn’t do that, did I!?” he asked, shoved his claw into his maw and started groping around.

“May’e the’e shti’ll in he’e.”

I know I'm a bad person for laughing at this, but I laughed anyway.

[High_Fidelity]

“What happened to you?” the tall one, Snails, said.
“Traffic collision,” I said.
“Are you okay?” Apple Bloom asked me.
“As far as I can tell,” I said and shook my head. “How about you guys?”
“We’re fine,” Scootaloo said.
“But what happened to your legs?” Snips said.

*looks around in a panic* Dangit, they escaped again! Snips! Snails! You gotta help us find them! Last time I lost 'em they got all the way to Canterlot!

[Balewood]

Woot, Happy to see an update! I had just kinda assumed the voice at the end there was Luna but after reading the comments I'm less than sure... I guess well find out next chapter tho As always loving your characterizations, Thanks for Writing!

[That One Brony Dude]

“Ugh, I should have brought those goggles that Rainbow gave me.” I’m not doing that Simpsons-reference.

I don't know the reference you are talking about. After Googling, I found this video, is it the reference you are referring to?

This one dude, he like, tried to mess with Moon Pony, and she, like, shoved his snout up his cloaca. Literally, man. I’m not even joking!”

Lol!!! Somehow, I'm reminded of Handcock, he too liked to shove heads where the sun don't shine. (Hmm... I wonder what Celestia thinks of that phraise.)

6959317 We need to stop dragging this story. Perhaps we need a trainer. Anyone know How To Train Your Dragon? Get it? "Dragon"? Because it sounds like "dragging"? **crickets chirp** I capitalized it, did anyone get the fact that it's a movie? **crickets get too bored from bad jokes to chirp** Tough crowd.

[wlam]

am I coming across as immature for acting like an adult?

I certainly hope not. That would just be kind of contrived.

“Mmph! Alright, alright! Nice to meet you too,” he said, fending off the pooch while I idly wondered if fur allergies were even heard of here.

Fun fact: people are not actually allergic to fur. They're allergic to the dander and skin flakes on the fur as well as other things that might cling to it, like traces of urine, pollen or mold spores. Having fur themselves wouldn't necessarily preclude ponies from being able to develop allergies against pets of other species. They'd probably be a lot more resistant to them on the whole, though, because they're used to a lot of these things clinging to them also. On the flip side, if they were to become allergic against house dust or pollen or any of a number of these things, it would affect them much more severely by the same merit.

“You…” Sweetie Belle started. “You’re… acting, well, a bit like a grown-up.”

Well, that settles that, then.

I mentally compared this to how I was used to making friends as a human. The images that I got was of ponies being like small, excited dogs jumping and yapping and sniffing at each other, while humans seemed more like cats, un-movingly glaring at each other before grudgingly deciding that the others’ presence was tolerated.

I loved that comparison. That got a good laugh out of me. The ponies really have this enthusiastic innocence that dogs also do, don't they? When a dog loves you, it really loves you, instantly. Ponies often seem to really be a lot like that. It's one of the things I like about the setting, the whole naive ingenuousness of it. I've never been much of a cat person.

Because primitive humans relied on tools to hunt. So their teeth can’t have been that effective.

The correct term is "vestigial." We are speculated to have lost them primarily because of our ever-increasing need for communication. The teeth were getting in the way more than they helped, while the people with smaller ones and a flatter face structure had an easier time of talking. At the same time, there's this little pointy nib on some people's ears that's a vestigial leftover of where our own ears used to be pointy. It's near the top on the inside. If you feel around a bit, you might be able to find yours.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6960298 Why not? It means provisions

Edit: Also, Sweetie Belle is the one who loves to show off her vocabulary, I'm just a writer

6960375 Hehe, I like things like this. Calling BS in a make-believe story set in a make-believe world. Who was it that said something to the effect of 'you can make your audience accept the impossible, but not believe the improbable'?

Anyway, could it be that you see your own headcanon in this? In mine, teleportation, scrying, force fields and illusions are all high level magic (perhaps not basic force fields, but still), and an earth pony at a similar 'power-level' is gonna be formidable indeed. And I would disagree that super strength, or other earth pony magics because they take a lot of different shapes in my headcanon, is useless when it comes to range. Look at Maud, she turns a boulder into a cruise-missile, she can probably turn a hoof-full of gravel into a flak-cannon

Regardless, we might not see a lot of this, since I didn't set out to write a military fic.

6960733 Thank you, thank you. I had help

6960939 What would you call me who wrote it then?

Also, this is the second time I've been starstruck when reading my comment-section. Loved Written In Dust, loved Misunderstandings even more

Edit: Third time. I almost forgot Admiral Biscuit

6961179 Darn! Too bad Gabe didn't think about doing that. Oh well, she might have another chance. In fact, she might actually be able to do just that. Who knows what features magical prostheses could have?

6961755 Happy to update, and thank you for reading. And yes, we might find out who the voice belongs to soon, unless things are not like they seem

6962050 Yes it is. And I think Celestia finds that phrase amusing, albeit a bit grudgingly. And, uh, thanks for explaining Xenon's joke, it flew right over my head

6962102 I dunno. I've seen kids trying too hard to imitate adults, especially young adults, and it's often kinda cringe worthy. And those are fun facts. I knew that human teeth had vestigial functions, but I didn't know that talking played such a big role in making them that

[wlam]

6962404

I didn't know that talking played such a big role in making them that

Talking is enormously important to our evolution, yeah. It's one of the greatest advantages we have over every single other form of life on this planet: the sheer range of communication we're capable of and the capacity for teamwork and organization that we have because of it. It's actually a more and more popular theory that politics are one of the main reasons human ever became as intelligent as we are today. In terms of the environment we lived in, we really had no use for all those smarts. With our ability for speech, though, and the complicated in-tribe jockeying for position and mates, intelligence became not only a survival tool but also a reproductive tool, with better living circumstances and a choice of better (and more intelligent) partners to have your offspring with. It's basically a kind of self-imposed selective breeding process, the way birds of paradise selected for colorful feathers instead. Instead, we just selected for eloquence and brains.

As to the other thing, in nature, it's pretty much always so that maturation rates, both physical and emotional, are proportional to the total lifespan of a species. Dogs, for example, mellow out and become less playful and energetic much faster than human children do and this is somewhat universal. Considering the long lifespan you've given ponies, it wouldn't really make any sense for them to mature as fast as humans do and then just continuously stay at a mid-30s level of emotional development or something, know what I mean? It makes more evolutionary sense for them to just be actual children longer because they need that time for some type of additional maturation process that humans don't go through.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6962691 Well, that makes sense. Like RealityCheck's and Gorgey's comment, though, I'd be more comfortable with a setting where this whole thing can be waved away easily. I didn't include this element because I wanted to explore the effect a long lifespan would have on a sapient race, at least in a scientifically accurate sense. I mostly wanted it because I thought it'd be neat and I could have an adult child as a protagonist

Not to say that I'm okay with being too nonsensical with it, I just thinks it's a better balance for me to try and keep it moderately believable, rather than try and write a hard, fact-based piece of fiction (with magical ponies), or scientific observations with a narrative structure

But I'm gonna try and keep the language-part in mind if Gabe ever finds herself making observations about that.

[wlam]

6962778
Fair enough, I suppose. It just made sense to me that way and I appreciated that the story reflected it in that chapter.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6962785 Well, good. I aim to please

[RealityCheck]

6963384

It's not a matter of strength. If you have enough strength to push a knife down with five ounces of force, you have the strength to kill someone. Even Sweetiebelle could kill with her magic--- and do it at range. She can levitate a broom, and at least 20 feet of distance. That's more than enough telekinetic strength to kill someone, if applied correctly. And the average unicorn can do it at far more than arm's length.

Pegasi and Unicorns have range, mobility and versatility in firepower. In a fight between the average unicorn or pegasus and the average earth pony, the earth pony would be dead before he could close the distance.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6965578 Oh, come one, man. That's taking things at face value. And where's the fun in that? Especially in a fantasy world

[Crystal Static]

6965980 Still though, unicorns are OP. They don't need to telekinetically hit you with something; with the proper knowledge of pony anatomy, they could sever nerves or arteries and shit with less effort than it takes to pick up a glass of water. Heck, a basic illumination spell (making light) could be used as a weapon, just adjust the angle of the light to where it all concentrates on a single point and instant heat ray. Or using a shield spell to bubble off their face so they can't breathe. Or, again using shield spells, make hard physical constructs in the shape of sharp needles right underneath the hoof of a pony that's walking, then as they recoil in pain, have another spike right behind the back of their head, so when they recoil they ruin their spinal cord, or put the spikes in the path of motion of the pony, so they run into what is essentially a barrier of blades.

And the best part, pretty much any unicorn could do those spells. The first is is just basic levitation, the second is lighting up your horn, and shield spells are just a manifestation of magic and will in the shape of a hard surface, which is a derivative of levitation.

Sure Earth Ponies have magic running through their bodies, which could in theory make it hard for magic to affect them, but it doesn't matter how resistant to magic you are when you can't fight back. The illumination spell and suffocation bubble methods would be the most effective against an earth pony because they aren't being affected by magic directly. The TK and shield spike methods would be better against pegasi.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
2:30_2/24/2016

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6968187 Interesting. I kinda wish you didn't write that, because shortly after I published the latest chapter, I started working on my notes for the next chapter, which has a whole scene that now looks like it's trying to Joss what you're saying. And I don't care all that much for Joss Whedon

Anyway, I'm working on fairly believable explanations for why being a unicorn doesn't automatically make you super-effective in combat. While I haven't established anything yet, I'm guessing that a unicorn who doesn't know how to fight but still tries to is gonna end up looking a lot like any other pony, or human, who tries to fight but doesn't know how. As in, it's probably mostly gonna end up looking awkward, especially against someone who does know how to fight, regardless of tribe. In my headcanon, being a unicorn doesn't make you a green lantern, a lot of unicorn magic could be used for combat, the same way that a lot of tools could be used for combat. If I set out to hurt someone however, I'd probably leave the allen keys and jackhammer at home, since I'm not Frank West

I'd kinda like to see Frank West as a unicorn, though. Conjuring up magic hedgerow-cutters to fight off hordes of undead ponies.

[Crystal Static]

6968635 Honestly, I was just trying to dispute the point that 'mind powers are not god', so just ignore it and go on as you were before I said anything.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
10:46_2/24/2016

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6968803 Oh, uh. Okay. I guess I wasn't sure what you were going for. (I'm still kinda not).

[Crystal Static]

6968839 To be fair, it was like 2 AM when I posted that. I get... talky... when I'm tired...

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
11:2_2/24/2016

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6968853 Alright. I'd say more, but I get quiet when I'm hungry.

[Crystal Static]

6969003 I get hungry when I'm quiet. lol

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
13:27_2/24/2016

[RealityCheck]

6965980 It's INTERNAL CONSISTENCY and VERISIMILTUDE. Otherwise known as Not-Shitty writing.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6969177 Conversely, does talking make you not hungry? That gives me an idea for a soap-opera-survival-drama, where people need to be incessantly chattering in order to keep from starving

6969244 Hold on. Are you saying that your headcanon is the right headcanon and others' are false?
Or it it just mine that's false? Because if you can't appreciate other people's take on how make believe-stuff works. Then I'm sorry, man, but you're missing out

And are you further saying that there's no verisimilitude and my writing is 'shitty' for it? Because that stands in such interesting contrast to what you say in your blog

Anyway, at least you seem passionate about it. I'm gonna sit here and pretend that that means my story affected you

[RealityCheck]

6969353 I'm saying that mine is objectively more consistent with established in-show canon.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6969395 Since I haven't read your stories or your take on Equestria, I'll take your word for it. Still, I'm gonna try and think up my own ways on how things work. I have this notion that when headcanon and tone are specifically tailored for a story, things could potentially become really interesting.

[AzureDreams]

6969416

its fiction. we all have our own little worlds. my pony world has over 23k years of history. so dont let people browbeat you

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

6983514 No such beating has occurred as of yet. A calm and friendly demeanor is proving to be the best approach in both pleasant dialogue and otherwise. As the trees are buffeted and snaps in the face of the gale, I shall be as the bamboo, and flex

[mastermenthe]

I just marathoned this story.
ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT!!!!!!

I LOVE all the bursts of relevant non sequitur medical knowledge!
I LOVE the moments of 'blink and you miss it' humor spots!
I LOVE the consciousness projection and i want the thin slice analysis magical fMRI experience from chapter one to make a comeback!
I LOVE the spot on characterizations!
I LOVE the solid personality self-persistence of Gabriell!
I LOVE YOU FOR CONTINUING THIS STORY!

I first encountered the first two chapters a year ago and had to let it wait in my to read list just to let my hype simmer down to non volatile levels because I COULD TELL THIS WAS GOING TO BE GREAT!!!!

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

7006339 Wow. I don't think I've ever had anyone express appreciation for my story quite this intensely. Thank you so much for the kind words. I've felt great love for fiction and stories before, and this might be the strongest indication I've seen that I can make others feel what I've felt when reading/watching/playing a story that I really like. It's a great feeling. Again: Thank you

Let's hope I can keep up all the things you like about it. As an example, I only have layman's knowledge of medicine, and what little I know just kind if makes its way into my observations of Equestria every now and then. I'm a bit worried that my knowledge of a lot of subjects has already run dry

Also, which part do you mean with 'consciousness projection' and 'thin slice analysis magical fMRI experience'?

Edit: Also, what kind of humor? I've never really been very sure about what people find funny in my story

[Snuffy]

7007320

I think you underestimate how good your story is, while it's not perfect thanks to a few weak parts, there are so many good things about it. I'm suprised it hasn't gotten more attention.

Edit: Also, what kind of humor?

While the story doesn't make me laugh it does make me smile. And I find myself coming back and re-reading chapters from time to time, more so I think then any other story on FiMfic.

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

7029679 Thank you, sincerely . And if you like this story as well, you might be pleased to know that the recent compliments have definitively played a role in me speeding up the writing of the upcoming chapter.

Even so, well... this whole subject of kinda weird, at least in my head. I can look at a popular movie and feel pretty confident in my knowledge about what people like about it, but making something myself... I mean, I love a lot of things about this story, and if I found this written by someone else, I'd be all over it. Or possibly annoyed that someone else is getting love over something that I could make, I dunno. And just like how I can't say for sure what you like about it, I also can't say what you thought were weak parts.

Point is: I don't wanna get too confident and full of myself just because people approve of what I've written so far. Confidence has an unflattering side, and we two are particularly contemptuous about just that. You know, Jantelagen and everything *wink wink*