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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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F is for f***ing all over the room. U is for ur anus. N is for enywhere and enytime at all. Down in the deep pussie
Grammatical errors and repeating sentences are still present. But, I can still understand it and putting words in different ways for smoothler train of though. The clop isn't exactly excellent but at an acceptable level, I suppose.
Here is my advice for grammatical stuff: Don't make it over complicate. Keep it simple yet smooth (simple so you don't make grammatical mistakes, smooth here meaning don't write two or more sentences stating one thing, if English isn't your main language, try translating it and see if there are any repeating meanings and re-arrange the sentence structure, it work for my language. Careful with spelling too, don't use words you don't know, if you need checking, use a dictionary, preferably computer dictionary or you can use google for single-word translation). Don't repeat one word or group of words too much in 1-3 sentences. If you don't have time for all of that, get a good and active editor.
I like your update speed though.
Either Malthael or Discord will probably gonna get Luna out of trouble or Luna can go kick ass in all her finery on the Prance Lord commander.
5253307 nooooo my childhood! How could you!?
5258117 like this. F is for f***ing all over the room. U is for ur anus. N is for enywhere and enytime at allllllllll. Dow in the deep pussie
5258297 whyyy- *neck cracks* ehehhe....ehehehhAHAHAHAHAHHAH! *eyes begin to bleed sickly green blood*
5258418 *Look at the bloody scene*
"Meh, I have seen it all."
*Turn and walk away with a convient badass explosion behind*
5261115 *Jumps through badass explosion and pounces on you, pinning you to the ground* "One, Two, Im coming for you" *pulls out giant knife* "Three, Four, you shall say no more" *brings knife up into stabbing position* "Five, Six, They wont find you in the batter mix" *slowly lowers knife towards your neck* "Seven, Eight, better make sure you break" *knife is inches away from your throat* "NINE, TEN! I GET TO MAKE CUPCAKES AGAIN! AHAHAHAHHAH! *Plunges knife into your jugular*
5263067 Why the hell are there corpses and remnants of an explosion in this comment section? *Points at TheIrishRave* You there with the oddly red an pink cupcake batter, you wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?
5263815 Nooooooooe~? *hides skull behind back* Cupcakes? I call them, "Amethyst Surprise!" *hands you a Suspiciously pink cupcake with an actual Amethyst on top of the pink frosting*
5264246 *Suddently, the cupcake speak up*
"Hi there!"
*Que screaming*
5264549 *Quickly Shoves talking pink cupcake into Thunderclap's mouth and forces her to swallow* NOPE! NOTHING HERE TO SEE! *runs away, tripping over a butchered corpse*
5264680 "Ooo! What a sight! Let's see what is in this body. IF it fit, I can take it over. Mwuhahahah!"
5264686 *grabs your soul* YOINK! *teleports away* AHAHAH! NOW! TO DO WHAT I LUV TO DO! *hugs ur soul tightly* :3
5264692 "Nothing is true, Everything is permitted. Reality is meaningless to souls." *Create an Immortal body, inhabit it and disappeared for 300 years*
5264700 *finds you. Hugs you again. then makes moar cupcakes out of your immortal body, cause, PINKIE PIE!*
5264709 Since I'm truly Immortal, I can't die, injuries and all the damages are healed instantly and the pain that I feel is like 1% since injuries and such means nothing (Pain is a way for the body to tell you to do something about it). And since My body is in hybernation mode, nothing happend according to me. Time keep passing and the body disappear from existance again.
5264726 Immortal? that sounds awfully like God level powers? are you a God? or an Immortal deity? *casually stabs you with knife*
5265174 "Immortal doesn't equal god with capital G. Although, I am something you should fear."
*Take out a Scythe and hit the head*
"Your soul is mine!"
5264680 Ummm, I hate to break it to you, but I'm a guy . Both in genitalia and self identification. I just have a female profile pic because it's Sunset Shimmer dressed as Danny Sexbang, which is a double helping of awesome.
5267434 AND I WILL GIVE YOU CUPCAKES! Want one? *offers you a suspiciously pink cupcake*
5265264 *Breaks Scythe* ... "I do not think so..." *looks up at you with flaming green eyes* "You claim to be immortal? That means that you are a god in some form..." *mane spontaneously conbusts into green flames* "But then again,'What is a god, to a non-believer?' *A Strong pull suddenly forces you to go away*
5258418 I am/was bored
5268346 ehehehe, Its CUPCAKES TIME! AAHAHHAHAHAHHA! *turns you into cupcakes*
5267587 That line from Auric Fulcrum? Hahaha.
Alright, back.
*Snap the fingers, everything freeze in time*
*Look back at the direction of the force*
"So, someone have been suduced by the dark side of the horse...uh...I meant force. And they want to play god slayer with me?" *Take out the supposed broken Scythe but now not broken anymore* "Not happening." *point the Scythe at that direction and remove the outside influence* *Look back to TheIrisRave* "A god or not is another very powerful being to a non-believer." *Pull out a 1.2m Long Sword with Cresent moon and 1 5 points star in the middle cross-guard* "After all, there are always higher mountains." *shove the sword through Rave* "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted." *Remove the power and immortality* "And not everyone can use such power." *Walk away and then restart time* *Convenient badass explosion start up behind*
5269714 *Badass Explosion suddenly stops, then Implodes* "Oh, I forgot to mention, I CANNOT DIE!" *I walks forward. My coat has turned black as night. My mane and tail blaze with sickly green flames. And my Eyes don't have pupils, instead they are sickly green and have flames emanating from them as well as green flames dripping from them* "I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF THE VOID, I CANNOT DIE! NOR CAN I NOT BE DESTROYED! I! AM! PURGATORY!" *flames explode outwards in a explosion of badassery that is terrifying*
5269950 *Whistle* "Nice special effect!"
"The Void have no true alignment but they sure as hell don't destroy anything willy nilly, are you sure you come from the Eternal Void?"
5270073 "as you can see, I have touched nothing" *area around explosion is untouched and has flowers growing from it* "as for My alliance. your presence...Irks me..."
5270080 "Really, now?"
"In that case. Hasta la vista, baby!"
*Terminator theme start playing and I disappear*
5270086 *teleports to you in normal form* "Wait! You forgot your soul! :3" *hands you a pink cupcake*
5270199 *sigh* "Ok" *Take the thing and disappear again*
*Terminator theme resume...then arubtly end*
*then this star to play*
5278026 Hey, you think you have it bad, I had someone force feed me a cupcake made from people, nearly had my body taken over by someone's soul, and had that soul removed by someone reaching into my body, and I'm pretty sure they groped my spleen while they were in there too. Oh and you missed a spot right over there.
5277310 *Blocks your flyswatter with the unholy bane of Arthropods (Flyswatter the size of both north and south america combined)* YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHH! *swats you with the force of athousand suns*
5278127 Wait, I forgot somthing! *runs up to you and gropes your heart* DONE! WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP! *Zoidburgs it and woops away*
5277247 HERE! TAKE THIS TASTY SOUL!!! *hands you a cupcake*
5278673 Damn it Rave! You have forced me to use the penultimate technique! Fist of the Author! And then TheIrishRave found himself in a room with no doors or windows that was filled with hungry, rabid wolverines. And he had no access to any of his supposed powers or tools. You brought this on yourself Rave.
5278795 HA! THIS IS NOTHING! *turns into a warewolf* See? My dad was a ware wolf... man was he a hairy guy... Anyway, I CALL UPON MY MOST POWERFUL ABILITY! *DEEP INHALE*
...HUZZAH! HERMORJES EX MORTIS! *GIANT EXPLOSION BURSTS ROOM APART!*
....Run little rabbit, RUN!
I have to say that I am enjoying this story and hope to see more of it. Keep up the good job you are doing.
Dragonfox
5278863 cause here comes the hunter with is gun....
5278127
My eye twitches- man FuCK dis shit
-Teleports into your story and I play poker with malthael-
Aw much better
5278863 also -takes out shotgun with silver bullets-
SUPRISE MUTHA FUCKA
5279711 *Jumps into the story too* I needed to get away from all that, deal me in.
5279848 5278863
*Epic Orbital Insertion scene with glorious music cue*
*Pod impacts the ground*
*Hatch doors slam open*
*Out steps......HIM!!!!!!!*
"This is Sierra-Z10321, Commander of Spartan VI Company Zeta aboard the prototype UNSC Super-dreadnought 'Ascension'......."
*Activates his Mjolnir Mark X Gen VII Armour* (Imagine it activates like the Didacts Armour)
"......we got Spartans on the ground sir (thunderclap)...." *Cue more Orbital Insertion Pods falling*
"...... We're not going anywhere! All Spartans......CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Cue epic firefight with the unholy abomination known as TheIrishRave*
*Mass amounts of Plasma, Hard-light, Particle Beam, Anti-Matter Beam, Laser, Rail-gun, Needler, Mana Beam and scaled-down Halo Array based weaponry are fired*
*TheIrishRave is destroyed due to concentrated firepower before IT can defend itself and what remains are stored in Containment with significant wards and barriers/shields by TOP MEN*
*Cue Multiverse celebration and ending music!*
5301755 some retard soldier activates a planet buster nuke and kill everyone.........or nought
5301755 what the absolute fuck is going on. It's like a car accident. It's horrible but I can't look away
Sexy times.
Oooooh, nobody disses the griffins and lives.
5301755
Am I missing something? I mean god damn!