Expected clop, got something even better. I like that you justified Will's thought process regarding giving Scootaloo a taste of alcohol. This makes me see him as a reasonably intelligent guy, albeit a bit of a dork. He compliments Rainbow Dash well, being down-to-earth and able to sober her up when she makes a big deal out of herself or a situation, while also allowing her to humor herself. There's a real connection here, although I have a feeling it goes deeper than what we've seen so far.
5350414 5350445 5350691 A big reason this chapter took so long to come out is I was agonizing over whether I should include clop or not. I knew that after the first chapter, most people would be expecting it, and I didn't want to alienate anyone who's reading the story for that reason, but sex just didn't fit into what this chapter contained. I worked really hard to include it without it feeling forced, but it just didn't work with the idea I was going for, and so I finally bit the bullet and went without.
But for those that read for the clop, there will be more. I simply don't want to include it for its own sake, but instead where it's appropriate.
5350722 And yeah, I know I'm terrible about how slow I write! Sorry!
5350782 I think it was a good choice to not include clop in this chapter. It was really sweet and builds on their relationship more. I enjoyed it and can't wait for more. Clop or not.
5351648 Ah, I've never read that one. But, I think my point is valid, too. I really need to work on getting this stuff out sooner. I'm the worst, I know.
I definitely like that emotional connection you built up at the end, instead of driving it into a predictable clop scene. That was a pleasant surprise.
Rainbow Dash is one of my least favorite characters on the show, but in here, I'm starting to love her, so you must be doing something right.
5350782 Actually, I upgraded this to my favorites list BECAUSE you focused on story development rather than force clop into it. I am very happy with how your taking this story so far. Looking forward to more! :D
Pusspuss and your other two stories I've read have gotten me to prefer slower stories over clop races, but I liked how the first chapter played out in TFAR. Like how Dash comes off as being pretty relaxed sexually and just a go with the moment kinda pony which is kind of her approach to everything else as life and i like that it carries over romantically as well. Prefer that version of Dash to the way some people have her as being really shy and nervous when it comes to romance. The latter can be cute but I feel the first feels more fitting to her character. The dialog with her and the main character at the beginning is also pretty cute with his whole "ugggg leave me alone, and let me sleep" stuff and really give the sense that they're open enough with eachother that they speak their minds and arent worried about offending the other.
Was a little weird having Dash in clothing, but the Rarity story was pretty funny and her reaction to the pink panties . Dash would be the best work out partner , loved the mixed feelings I got of imagining the situation of her passing out on you where half of me is like "eww it would be gross to have someone sweaty laying on top of you after running and being all hot would make it hard to sleep" and then the other half of me is like "shut up, you know youd let sweaty dash sleep on you any day of the week." Is something hot about sweaty post work out sex :P
I really thought you were going to have clop in the second chapter by how it was going but I really liked that in the end you instead switched over to a sweet note of talking about Dash being a good sister to Scootaloo and her falling asleep on Will. Whole thing had a real life situation feel to it, sweet little movie night with some friends a couple ciders.
You're Scootaloo was really cute, really hoping to see more of her as the story goes on. Liked the conversation about her having her first cider. Where you can tell she really wants to try it but is trying to be diplomatic about it. Once again like how you make all the cmc older in your stories, puts everything in the future so you can have more freedom with it and in this case you cant then have people bitching about you having a child drink alcohol . Sitting on a couch with Dash and Scootaloo watching daring doo movies, little slice of heaven right there
Somehow, Rainbow was able to grab a slice directly with her hoof. I’ll never understand how ponies can pick up things without any visible means of holding them
This is very well written. The delivery is convincing, and you're portrayal of the characters is likable. Curious to see which way this story goes. I didn't read the description very closely. Not sure whether to expect clop, or drama, or for Scootaloo to get in on the action or to stay the little sister or what and Will to be adopted as big brother. It could go a lot of different ways. But I think the way it's being written, I'll be pleased with the result either way.
How many of us have wished we could be in the position Will is in at the end of this chapter? At the risk of sounding lame, I know I have on more than one occasion.
In any case, I'm really enjoying this story. It's well written and paints a nice picture.
i love this story. Its so sweet
Expected clop, got something even better. I like that you justified Will's thought process regarding giving Scootaloo a taste of alcohol. This makes me see him as a reasonably intelligent guy, albeit a bit of a dork. He compliments Rainbow Dash well, being down-to-earth and able to sober her up when she makes a big deal out of herself or a situation, while also allowing her to humor herself. There's a real connection here, although I have a feeling it goes deeper than what we've seen so far.
I eagerly await the next chapter
Where's the action at?
One does not simply pitch a tent in anticipation then reach the ending without poon.
Well that was pretty sugary sweet. Glad you're not adding a sex scene to every chapter.
Speaking of I’ll always be here for you, I can't wait until its updated.
5350400
5350421
Thanks!
5350414
5350445
5350691
A big reason this chapter took so long to come out is I was agonizing over whether I should include clop or not. I knew that after the first chapter, most people would be expecting it, and I didn't want to alienate anyone who's reading the story for that reason, but sex just didn't fit into what this chapter contained. I worked really hard to include it without it feeling forced, but it just didn't work with the idea I was going for, and so I finally bit the bullet and went without.
But for those that read for the clop, there will be more. I simply don't want to include it for its own sake, but instead where it's appropriate.
5350722
And yeah, I know I'm terrible about how slow I write! Sorry!
[Internal Chuckling]
5350782
I think it was a good choice to not include clop in this chapter. It was really sweet and builds on their relationship more. I enjoyed it and can't wait for more. Clop or not.
5350782
I was actually referencing this.
lol
5351648
Ah, I've never read that one.
But, I think my point is valid, too. I really need to work on getting this stuff out sooner. I'm the worst, I know.
5351414 Exactly what i thought when i finished reading this chapter. You gotta build up that relationship first.
I definitely like that emotional connection you built up at the end, instead of driving it into a predictable clop scene. That was a pleasant surprise.
Rainbow Dash is one of my least favorite characters on the show, but in here, I'm starting to love her, so you must be doing something right.
Keep up the good work.
Upgraded to the favorites list. I look forward to seeing what you will do next.
5350782 Actually, I upgraded this to my favorites list BECAUSE you focused on story development rather than force clop into it. I am very happy with how your taking this story so far. Looking forward to more! :D
great work
You sir, have earned a cookie.
When I read this story for some reason my mind went here...
Why did I think of this??? Oh... Right...
Soooo started climbing the TFAR chapter ladder
Pusspuss and your other two stories I've read have gotten me to prefer slower stories over clop races, but I liked how the first chapter played out in TFAR. Like how Dash comes off as being pretty relaxed sexually and just a go with the moment kinda pony which is kind of her approach to everything else as life and i like that it carries over romantically as well. Prefer that version of Dash to the way some people have her as being really shy and nervous when it comes to romance. The latter can be cute but I feel the first feels more fitting to her character. The dialog with her and the main character at the beginning is also pretty cute with his whole "ugggg leave me alone, and let me sleep" stuff and really give the sense that they're open enough with eachother that they speak their minds and arent worried about offending the other.
Was a little weird having Dash in clothing, but the Rarity story was pretty funny and her reaction to the pink panties . Dash would be the best work out partner , loved the mixed feelings I got of imagining the situation of her passing out on you where half of me is like "eww it would be gross to have someone sweaty laying on top of you after running and being all hot would make it hard to sleep" and then the other half of me is like "shut up, you know youd let sweaty dash sleep on you any day of the week." Is something hot about sweaty post work out sex :P
I really thought you were going to have clop in the second chapter by how it was going but I really liked that in the end you instead switched over to a sweet note of talking about Dash being a good sister to Scootaloo and her falling asleep on Will. Whole thing had a real life situation feel to it, sweet little movie night with some friends a couple ciders.
You're Scootaloo was really cute, really hoping to see more of her as the story goes on. Liked the conversation about her having her first cider. Where you can tell she really wants to try it but is trying to be diplomatic about it. Once again like how you make all the cmc older in your stories, puts everything in the future so you can have more freedom with it and in this case you cant then have people bitching about you having a child drink alcohol . Sitting on a couch with Dash and Scootaloo watching daring doo movies, little slice of heaven right there
Hoping to get two more chapters down tonight
Fascinating.
fedgeno.com/its-magic-i-aint-gotta-explain-shit.jpg
This is very well written. The delivery is convincing, and you're portrayal of the characters is likable. Curious to see which way this story goes. I didn't read the description very closely. Not sure whether to expect clop, or drama, or for Scootaloo to get in on the action or to stay the little sister or what and Will to be adopted as big brother. It could go a lot of different ways. But I think the way it's being written, I'll be pleased with the result either way.
I am loving how this is progressing, not too fast and not too slow.
Its perfect!
Awesome job, awesome job!
Awwww that ending was sweet, drunkish, but sweet.
RD:“Yeah, but her dad might hurt me when he finds out!"
.....I am a horrible person for saying this but wasn't Scootaloo an orphan chicken.....(I am sorry I know I am an ass. please forgave me)
How many of us have wished we could be in the position Will is in at the end of this chapter? At the risk of sounding lame, I know I have on more than one occasion.
In any case, I'm really enjoying this story. It's well written and paints a nice picture.
Why does it have to be like this? Rainbow and Will = OTP </3
(I respect your creative opinions, just wow this story is an emotional rollercoaster. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not :(