“What in the hell was that all about?!” Applejack shouted at Pinkie as Sonata guided the poofy-haired girl to a nearby bus stop bench. Having finally wrested control of the truck away from the seemingly single-minded and surprisingly strong party planner, Applejack had pulled over onto a side street.
Pinkie did not answer as Sonata sat down beside her; she merely stared straight ahead, her eyes wide and unfocused.
Applejack furrowed her brow. “I just don’t get you sometimes, Pinkie. I know you’re a little nuts but c’mon now! How can you be so dang irresponsible as to pull a stunt like that? D’you have any idea how much trouble we’re gonna be in now?”
Still, Pinkie Pie said nothing nor acknowledged the other girls’ presence in any way.
“I don’t think she’s listening,” Sonata offered, drawing a glare from AJ, but the farmer’s expression quickly softened.
“Pinkie,” she asked as she kneeled down in front of her friend. “What’s goin’ on, sugarcube? Is everythin’ ok?”
Finally, Pinkie’s lips moved subtly as she whispered something, prompting both Applejack and Sonata to lean in closer.
“Aardvark… inflaaaaaaatable aardvark…”
“Well, I think she’s finally lost it,” Applejack tipped her hat back and planted a hand on her hip.
“What’s an aardvark?” Sonata asked.
“The harbingers of dooooom…” Pinkie whispered ominously, though she remained as vacant as before. Applejack shrugged.
“Some kinda varmint, I think.”
Sonata glanced around. “Pinkie, I don’t think there are any aardvarks here.”
At this, Pinkie turned her gaze to Sonata, the first sign of real awareness she had shown since taking control of the truck. “Are… are you sure? Not even the inflatable kind?”
Sonata laughed and shook her head. “Nope!”
Pinkie’s vision finally focused on the two girls in front of her. She shook her head wildly, her poofy hair flying everywhere and somehow managing to spray Sonata and Applejack with candy sprinkles. The former seemed not to notice; the latter simply took it in stride.
“Hey! What happened?”
“Where should I start?” Applejack said with a scoff. “The part where you made me hit a parked cop car, or the part where you hijacked my truck and wrecked any chance we had of gettin’ outta this with just a slap on the wrist?” Pinkie laughed and shook her head.
“Oh silly, I wouldn’t do that. I don’t even know how to drive!”
“I can tell,” Applejack deadpanned as she crossed her arms and leaned against a nearby lamp post. “Well, in any event I doubt we’re gonna be makin’ it downtown anytime soon… not unless it’s in the back of a police car wearin’ handcuffs, anyway.”
“What?!” Sonata sprang to her feet. “No! What about free taco night?”
“I’m stayin’ right here until that cop catches up to us-- assumin’ of course that he was able to keep up with all the crazy turns Pinkie took-- and when he does all three of us are gonna be down on our hands and knees apologizin’ if we wanna have any chance of not gettin’ in serious trouble here, y’all understand?”
“But, but…” Sonata stammered, her lower lip quivering dangerously.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Applejack shrugged, “but I can’t afford to risk gettin’ thrown in jail or losin’ my license over a late-night craving for somebody who was tryin’ to mind-control the entire school and take over the world just this afternoon.”
“Aww, AJ, that’s mean!” Pinkie pouted. “Besides, Sonni already apologized for all that stuff.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “She did?”
“I did?” Sonata blinked as she sniffed back some budding tears.
“Shh!” Pinkie whispered rather loudly as she clapped a hand over Sonata’s mouth. “Just follow my lead!”
Applejack, having heard every word Pinkie said, frowned. “Look, Pinkie, I know you’re just tryin’ to do your thing and be friends with everybody, but goin’ around pickin’ up strays always ends up the same way: one day you get bit.”
“That’s silly; Fluttershy takes in strays all the time and I’ve never seen any of them bite her,” Pinkie said as she folded her arms behind her back coyly and began rocking back and forth between her heels and the balls of her feet. Applejack blinked.
“Huh… never thought of- wait, no! That ain’t the point!” She gave an exasperated sigh. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that it’s the same thing with how you act all weird and do crazy stuff all the time. We’re almost done with high school for cryin’ out loud, don’t you think you oughtta start bein’ a mite more responsible?”
“What do you mean?” Pinkie stopped rocking and frowned slightly.
Applejack sighed. “I mean things ain’t so easy and carefree once you’re out of school and fendin’ for yourself. Trust me, I know…” She shook her head and shifted against the lamp post so that she was turned away from the others. “Mac and I have been in charge of Sweet Apple Acres for a couple of years now, and it’s… it’s hard. I love doin’ it, really I do, but there’s just so much to do and sometimes I feel like it all depends on me. I can’t afford to goof around and be irresponsible, else my whole family might end up payin’ for it, and the weight of that responsibility wears on you somethin’ powerful.
“I don’t know what you and the other girls are plannin’ to do after we graduate; maybe it won’t be quite as bad as I’m thinkin’. Rarity practically runs her own business already so I don’t worry much about her, and Fluttershy’s pretty level-headed when she ain’t hidin’ behind her hair. Who knows what Sunset’s gonna do. You and Rainbow though…” she shook her head. “Well, I just worry about you, that’s all. I don’t want to see you get out into the real world and fall apart because you don’t know when to stop goofin’ around and get serious. We can’t act like kids forever, Pinkie, and sometimes I don’t know if you understand that.”
Neither of the other girls said anything, and Applejack couldn’t help but smile softly, imagining the pensive, somewhat sad look on Pinkie’s face as the apple farmer’s wise words sank in.
“I know we never really found out if we were cousins or not, Pinkie, but that don’t stop me from feelin’ like you’re part of the family. That means I’m responsible for you too. Let’s both do the responsible thing here and face our mistakes like adults; whaddya say?”
There was another protracted silence. Applejack’s eyebrow twitched.
“Pinkie?” she said as she turned.
A rumpled piece of newspaper rolled across the sidewalk in a sudden but stiff breeze that dissipated just as quickly as it had arrived.
Pinkie Pie and Sonata Dusk were nowhere to be seen. Applejack’s shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Consarnit...”
“Are you sure it’s ok that we just sorta left her there like that?” Sonata asked as she and Pinkie Pie turned down another side street, already several blocks distant from where they had stealthily parted company with Applejack. “I mean, I don’t really get some of the stuff she was saying but it sounded important.”
“Nah, s’fine,” Pinkie dismissed Sonata’s worry with a wave. “AJ is super-nice and super-dependable and all, but sometimes she’s just super-not fun. I mean, duh, of course things’ll change after we graduate, and yeah, maybe I will have to learn to be a little more serious, but isn’t that all the more reason to have as much fun as we can now while we’re still young?”
“I’m two thousand, four hundred and thirty-eight.” Sonata said flatly. Pinkie’s eyes bugged out of her skull as her jaw nearly unhinged.
“... Wow. When’s your birthday?”
“Next September.”
Pinkie reached up and pulled a pen and a small pocket calendar from her voluminous hair, opening it to July and scribbling a note. “Place preorder for extra candles...”
“Does… does that mean I’m too old to have fun?” Sonata asked, wringing her ponytail tightly with both hands. “Should I stop?”
“No, silly! Whoever heard of being too old to have fun?” Pinkie laughed, bringing a smile back to Sonata’s face. “And right now, the funnest thing we can do is get you to Taco Bell! Let’s go!”
“Yay!” Sonata clapped excitedly, only to suddenly stop mid-motion. “Um… one question though,” she asked as she and Pinkie both glanced around at streets and buildings that were wholly unfamiliar to either of them.
“Huh,” Pinkie said after a silent moment. “Where the heck are we?”
“Where the heck are they?” Shining Armor mumbled for the fourth time in as many minutes as he drove as quickly as he dared while twisting his head to get a view down each side street he passed. After recovering from the initial shock, he had jumped back into his cruiser and sped after the three girls, keeping up with them well enough at first, but the one who took the wheel must have been some kind of professional street racer or stunt driver, because once he lost sight of them they vanished into the night. The whole thing was so surreal that Shining was starting to wonder if it had even happened or if he’d fallen asleep on duty and dreamt the whole thing.
The missing driver side mirror posthumously reminded him that was not the case.
He pulled over, slamming the gearshift into park and leaning back in his seat as he massaged the bridge of his nose.
“I should just let it go,” he said, but even as the words left his mouth he was rolling his eyes. “No, I can’t, if they hurt themselves or anyone else at this point it’d be just as much my fault as theirs.” He nodded once, reaching for his radio. “Dispatch, car Fifty-one here, over.”
The radio crackled to life a moment later with the familiar, gruff voice of an older man. “Dispatch; go ahead Fifty-one.”
“I just had a motorist drive off during a pull-over for reckless driving; possible DUI. I’ve got plates and a description, can I get a BOLO?”
“What, did a couple of college kids give you the slip?”
Shining Armor huffed. “Just put out the call please, Dispatch.”
“Sure thing Fifty-one, just a moment,” the voice laughed back.
Shining Armor took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, glancing out his window at the spot his mirror used to be while he waited. A flickering light across the street caught his attention, drawing his gaze to the poster it illuminated; a Taco Bell advertisement featuring a small, wiry dog and some kind of stuffed burrito. He cocked his head as the blue-haired girl's words floated back to him.
“We’re going to Taco Bell! It’s free taco night!”
“Nah,” Shining shook his head. “They wouldn’t be stupid enough to...” he trailed off, unwilling to finish a thought he wasn’t so sure he believed anyway.
“Ok Fifty-one, plates and description, whenever you're ready.”
“Actually,” Shining said into the handset, his eyes never leaving the poster, “nevermind, I got this. Thanks, Dispatch.”
“Uh… you’re welcome?”
Shining tossed the radio into the passenger seat and put the car back in gear, his brain already trying to figure out the fastest way to downtown.
“This isn’t over yet, girls… not by a long shot.”
Another great chapter! I loved the callback to Pinkie Apple Pie, and AJ's speech gave me actual feels for a moment, there - too bad it fell on absent ears.
Can't get enough of this story, it's great! Although I'm not sure the Pinkie Apple Pie reference works when the movie made it fairly clear the Humane 5 haven't gone through many, if any, of the same things as the ponies. But that's way too
nit-picky; great work!
Poor, poor Applejack. Hope she at least doesn't end up in trouble for this as a lot of it was beyond her control. Can't wait to see the insanity you've got planned next.
Oh dear god yes you updated this.
The quest must go on.
*intrigued by reference spotting challenge*
*is too lazy to do it*
I need moar. Plz. So good.
That's how I'd type if I didn't have a Grammar Nazi complex... But I do have one, and that previous sentence stung me. ...Totally worth it. In the name of tacos, I shall mistype on!
What? Not right now! I have to eagerly anticipate the next chapter first!
What the hell happened with Pinkie?! That was some kind of bizarre mental episode there. Seriously she needs to see a medical professional pronto.
-Pinkie Apple Pie (cousin thing)
-?Arthur the Aardvark?
-"Nope!" (Big Mac quote)
-“Just follow my lead!” (Adagio Dazzle quote)
-?"The Awakening" by Kate Chopin?
-?NGC 2438?
-?51-50 means crazy?
-?10-51 means Drunk?
-?11-51 means Escort?
HUZZAH!!! HOW MANY POINTS DO I RECIEVE?!?! (wait... that was a quote... does that count?)
Aww, Applejack is so cute when she's motherly. :) Taking care of her little cousin like that. If Pinkie wasn't on a Taco Quest, it would've been a heartfelt moment and lesson learned. Unfortunately, Pinkie is still quite busy, and can't be stopped by things like responsibility, common sense, or Shining Armor. Speaking of which, it looks a lot like a game of cat and mouse is developing. /:) How long can the pink and blue outrun the law?
Well, it seems Applejack has made her exit from the story. She's going to be alright though, Shining knows she was following the law. Maybe we'll see her get to be scolding Pinkie and Sonata at the end.
So, the twin terrors have appeared in another part of town, and if I recall there is a forecast of explosions. Hmm... Where exactly do Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash live in this world? They're too young to be on their own, but we've seen neither hide nor hair of parents or guardians. Unless you want to bring Firefly into the story. ;)
5224303
Thanks CGL!
5224448
That's true; in my head I sort of rationalized it that since so many things are different in the EQG universe (and because we know that the five of them were friends before Sunset came along) that they'd had some kind of similar event earlier in their lives. Actually, the more I think about it I kinda want to write a fic about it,
5224938
Can't fault you for that,
5226268
Ok, let's break this down line-by-line:
I didn't actually consider this a sneaky reference, but sure why not? +10!
No, although I get what you're getting at and animals are involved in the reference. +5 for animals!
I should have pointed out that the quotes I was hiding in there are being spoken by the same characters that say them in FiM, but Big Mac is awesome so +10!
Same as above. +10!
What?
I had to look that one up; very cool, but no, not even close,
No, no, and no. I'll give everyone an extra hint on this one: Shining is in car 51... he was in something else that was also 51,
THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED! You had +35 points so far, so you get a total of 70 Pirate Points! You're in the lead! (you're also the only one who has guessed at all, but that probably reflects worse on me than you, )
5226322
Funny you should mention Rainbow and Fluttershy; they're up next! (along with everyone's favorite Trio of Terror...)
Applejack, you adorable cousin you.....
5229150 I swear 51 is a reference as well as 2438
5229150 I GOT IT!!! Shining Armor's wedding was episode 51!!!
5230752
DING DING DING! Another 10 Points for the iridescent batpony!
Episode 51 of Friendship is Magic, A Canterlot Wedding Part 1, marks Shining Armor's first appearance (and first mention of any kind, ) on the show.
5234061 YES!!! I got 85 POINTS NOW!!! MUST SEARCH FOR MORE...
Holy shit Pinkie...
A few lines later
LOL Go back to sleep, Sonata.
Somehow, I read that in Clarence Odbody's voice.
5238226
Holy carp (as in the fish), I haven't seen that movie in decades,
You're getting warm; it is a reference to a character played by an old white man,
Anyone else craving tacos like an addict now?
5242198
/raisehand,
wow serious Pinkie Pie. I kinda like how she has some deepness in her.
I'm enjoying this way too much
You know somethin is off when you can predict what unpredictable thing Pinkie's gonna do.
I, won't ask.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
You're never too old to have fun.