Dear Princess Celestia,
Firstly, I would like to apologize. My recklessness was a sign of great disrespect towards you and everything you have been trying to teach me, especially the lessons I abused today. In my eagerness to apply that knowledge, I neglected true wisdom for thoughtless action, and others paid for my folly. You asked me to think about what I've done, and I have. In particular I have thought about how the law would punish me for my actions today.
My actions were done without first receiving a license from the Canterlot Construct Authority, nor did I first submit the appropriate notifications and registration requests to the CCA prior to beginning assembly and animation. That I am too young to apply for an artificer's license only underscores my violations of proper procedure.
I also violated Article 3 of the Equestrian Artifice Accords, which explicitly proscribes the use of volatile or formerly living materials as golem substrates. Given the nature of my chosen substrate, I technically violated both aspects of this law.
My punishment for these acts would be severe indeed. I would be charged for the sum total of all damages incurred by my creation, as well as an additional fine of no fewer than one hundred thousand bits. I would also have to carry out a period of indentured service to the crown for a period of no fewer than five and no more than twenty years. Given that my personal finances cannot even begin to cover the fine, my indentures would be extended to compensate for this.
The service period would be spent giving back to the society I exploited to create my unlicensed, unpermitted construct. As I am a unicorn, this would likely entail long hours at an assembly line enchanting electromantic components, performing fine-detail telekinesis in assembling those components, or other menial magical labor.
During my indentures, I would have to wear a standard-issue "penitent's ring" around my horn at all times. This would act as a tracking device, and when I was not at work, a magical suppressor. It would also allow me to perceive the city limits of Canterlot as a luminous barrier, because if I were to leave those limits, it would immediately paralyze me and notify the City Guard.
The punishment for this attempted escape would depend on how and why it was carried out. If I was forced out of the city limits against my will, the one who coerced me would be punished with a fine of not more than one thousand bits. If I attempted to leave Canterlot of my own free will, my sentence would be extended by no fewer than two years, or five years on a second offense. A third offense would result in my incarceration for the remainder of my sentence.
As a minor, my sentence would normally be much lighter. Penalties for minors are capped at a fine of no more than five hundred bits and/or thirty days of community service for most crimes, and the use of penitent's rings is virtually unheard of for young offenders. However, the laws assume that all unlawful constructs created by minors are created as a result of magical surges, either in infancy (in which case even the minor punishments are waived) or on or around the time of cutiesynthesis. Intentional creation of a construct by a minor is not even considered, as it would not normally be possible.
Such legal gray areas have traditionally been decided by royal fiat, a tradition that extends back to the Uni Carta. You chose to commute my sentence to this written report and what you described as "a surprise." You went on to state that when the time comes, I'll know.
I suspect that the anticipation is intended to be as much a part of the punishment as whatever action you take. I admit, it's working.
In conclusion, I shouldn't build a golem just because I can. Definitely not when I don't yet know the command spells needed to operate the golem, certainly not when I make that uncontrolled golem out of coal, and most especially not when that golem then catches on fire.
I hope I remain,
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Age 7
I'm honestly not sure coal counts as either "volatile" or "formerly living". I mean, technically, yes, it was once part of something alive, but then so is the oxygen we all breathe all the time and we don't consider that cannibalism. As for "volatile", well, an awful lot of different things will catch fire if you just heat it up enough But that law sounds like a regulation covering combined necromancy and treason, not amateur artifact construction
Wow. Coal. Where would she find enough of that to make a golem that can inflict hundreds of thousands of bits worth of damage?
Also, what happens when you kill it
Well, well. Here's somepony who doesn't have a leg to stand on when berating the CMC about doing some damage to things....
This was very, very funny. A solid hit, A+
5151357
Ah, didn't think of the Dicot pun. Still suspiciously similar to Dinah Alcott though.
Ah, the challenges of dealing with someone more capable than most adults and less mature than even a teenager.
5151436
Well, it's Twilight, and a guilt-ridden Twilight at that. I can definitely see her citing technicalities for reasons to feel bad about herself.
Also, after watching an animate, flaming pile of it rampage through Canterlot, she'd definitely consider coal a volatile substance.
5151607
Castle Canterlot is normally kept warm largely by Celestia's natural radiance. Still, she insists on having some backup systems in place, one of which is a truly impressive furnace.
5151651
"I was a prodigy with nigh-unfettered access to any resource I could ask for, and I still didn't manage this level of destruction!"
5151865
With great power comes great responsibility. Eventually.
5151840
There is a 97.58437% chance that that was completely unintentional.
5153083 Volatility refers to how prone a substance is to vaporizing, not how prone it is to catching afire. Coal is flammable, dry ice is volatile, alcohol is both.
That nit picked, I'm really enjoying these stories.
5155248
Well, I never said chemistry was one of my strong suits. I just meant it in the colloquial sense. Still, I'll bear that in mind in the future.
I'm just gonna say that Celly was laughing her face off.
I could so easily see a young Twilight Sparkle screwing up and doing this.
5151651
One could argue that she stands upon the leg of personal experience.
Man, it all comes down to those last two words. :)
She should have tried to classify the golem as some sort of educational procedure to teach baby Spike about hunting or something, that's what I would have done.
Ha.
That was pretty good.
5151436
I definitely think an oxygen golem would be worth banning, even aside from its being volatile. Stone and metal seem like good options. Interesting that cloth and wood are both banned.