Banal Broadway
“Thank you darling.”
Rarity passed the bits, carefully counted out, over to the cabbie. The stallion jingled them in his hoof for a moment before sliding them into his saddle bag, tipping his hat in thanks, and galloping off to collect another fare.
Manehatten only had one stadium but at its size, one was all that was really needed. Rarity remembered many of her father’s stories about this stadium and its distinctive decor. In an attempt to portray a sense of timelessness, it was designed in a style reminiscent of the ancient Roaman Empire, with tall, composite columns and ornate carvings. These particular ones showed athletic competitions and other feats of sport like glory, all sculpted in the brilliant white marble that was such the rage in Canterlot designs.
With no match today, the front doors were currently closed and locked, so Rarity trotted around the back of the building where the employe entrances most likely were. Like the front doors, they were closed, but not locked. Pushing one of the heavy wooden doors open, Rarity peered left and right, down the circular hallway that most likely ran the circuit of the building. With a quick debate in her head, the broke right and began to look for her father.
Her mind continued to race while she walked, the clacks of her hooves on the floor the only sound in the hallways. Apologizing to her father was the goal, naturally. But how to word it? She had not moved from her position that her life and her goals were her concern, not that of her father’s. Yet her outburst had been out of line….
Perhaps being honest and level headed was the best option. Just calmly explain that while she appreciated his concern, that she hadn’t made the decision to transition lightly. And maybe she could afford to go out and be a little more active at times. The look on Rainbow Dash’s face would be amusing, she admitted to her less lady like side.
“Hey!”
Oh dear. There was a guard, cantering towards her in a white shirt.
“Mam, what are you doing here? Not only are we closed, but this is an employee only area,” the earth pony said.
“Actually my good stallion, I’m looking for Magnum. I-”
“He doesn’t want strange mares bothering him for autographs.”
“I’m his daughter, sir! Not some wild stalker!” Rarity said, angrily stomping her hoof for emphasis. “Now, may I speak with my father or not?”
“What, you want me to just take your word that you’re related? Any pony could say that.”
Rarity scoffed. This stallion was beginning to grate on her nerves. “Are you saying that you don’t see any family resemblance between us?”
The guard looked her over with a raised eyebrow. “I dunno…you look kind of prissy to be Magnum’s daughter.”
Rarity’s eyes narrowed.
- - - -
Magnum prided himself in being able to focus on his work. It was a mistake that some ponies made to consider his laid back manner a sign of buffoonery. But sports were his wheelhouse and he would try- as always- as hard as he could to make sure that his team won. They lingered around him in a loose group having just finished their warm up exercises on the field.
“Alright everpony, that was a nice warm up. So, let’s move on to some drills-”
One of the doors to the pitch slammed open with an almighty bang, one of the stadium guards galloping for all he was worth. His daughter sauntered along behind him, nose turned skyward in what he could only call a huff.
Poor fool. What did he say to her?
“Ah, Magnum? Your daughter is here to see you.”
“Thank you Light Hooves, if you could give us some privacy?”
He rushed off, Magnum turning towards his players and waving a hoof towards the corner of the pitch. The team got the hint, wandering off to find other things to do. Sighing, he turned back towards his daughter. His brave, brave daughter that had come so far and changed...so, very, very much.
“Daddy…,” she began, biting her lip in that nervous way of hers at times.
Magnum raised a hoof. “Rarity...you do know that I just want you to be happy, right?”
“Of course!”
“Then why do you always throw my efforts back in my face?”
Rarity winced and Magnum felt like his heart would break but then she shook her head. “Because, it feels like you don’t trust me to know myself. I love fashion! I own my own business! Do you think that I’d be doing this if I wasn’t sure?”
“Heh...remember when you took out the loan to buy Carousel Boutique? And the bank rejected it?”
“Because I didn’t have any collateral and was entering a risky industry,” Rarity nodded with a slight smile.
“So, your mother and I co-signed the loan,” Magnum nodded with a smile.
“And yet, here we are….”
“Rarity, I can believe in supporting my daughter and still be concerned. You’ve reinvented yourself so much that it feels like you threw the foal out with the bath water! I just want what’s the best for you!”
“And while I appreciate that daddy, I am an adult mare and capable of making my own decisions. I am sorry that I snapped at you at the restaurant...that was wrong. But I’m not going to apologize for how I run my life.”
Magnum sighed.
“Look, Rarity...I need some time. I’m just tired of feeling awkward over this.”
“Daddy…”
“Please. I need to prepare for tomorrows game. We’ll talk later, okay?”
His daughter looked like she had just been punched in the stomach. But she quickly recovered, or at least was able to put on a brave face.
“Very well. If that’s what you really feel like you need. We’ll speak later.”
Watching his daughter go, it felt like weights had been dropped around his neck. Oh, if only fate hadn’t been so cruel to strike his oldest child with these issues. If she had just been born a filly! Then he wouldn’t have raised her all...wrong. She might have been more balanced in personality. But that hadn’t been the case and he had failed her...him...both.
With a sigh, he waved the team back over, returning to their training. He moved through the usual routine. Running a few lengths of the pitch to work on speed and endurance, then running between cones to work on dexterity. They were just about to break out the hoof balls for some shooting practice when the voice of a mare that he didn’t recognize addressed him.
“Excuse me, Mister Magnum?”
Rolling his eyes, he turned back towards the pitch entrance to see a light pink mare with a dark purple mane trotting his direction. He’d need to have a talk with security.
“Miss, who are you and what do you want? I’m trying to run a team here!”
In other circumstances, he might have been more concerned about how harsh that sounded. At the moment though, he truly didn’t care. He just wanted this strange pony to go away, so he could focus on his work and not how broken his relationship with his daughter was. The new arrival seemed unconcerned though, just smiling as she dipped her head in a slight nod.
“My name is Suri Polomare. I’m working with your daughter on a project right now-”
“Get on with it.”
“Well, she’s just been really upset and depressed from what I’ve seen,” she said, casually waving her hoof while chattering away at a breakneck pace. “I mean, I know I’d be if I was fighting with my family while dealing with a stuck up producer and having to do a whole new set of designs for the World Cup, m’kay.”
“The point. Please,” Magnum sighed through gritted teeth.
“Let me do the World Cup designs.”
Magnum paused.
“Excuse me?”
“Look, I won’t pretend to know why you’re fighting. But being forced to work together probably isn’t helping things. You totally need some time to breathe.”
Turning away, Magnum frowned, Suri’s words churning away in his head. The pony had to have some angle, most likely a desire to further her own career. His immediate, almost knee jerk reaction would have been to throw her out. Despite his misgivings about his former son’s change in personality, he did wish her well in her career. It was why he had tapped her for the World Cup job in the first place. But another voice argued the other side of that coin. Was it really worth piling further strain on their relationship? He’d never ask a player with an injured leg to take the pitch and play anyway. Maybe...maybe it would be best to give his daughter a break.
“Okay Miss Polomare. I’ll give you a shot. Let me give you my address so that you can mail me the designs.”
- - - -
The clock hands were moving far too slowly.
It hung just next to the backstage exit, ticking away with an almost mocking slowness. In fact, Skitch was rather sure that she had seen it tick backwards a few times. Taking a deep breath, she focused on a mental chant that was becoming her mantra.
For a home. For a home. For a home.
Truthfully, it had probably passed the point of Mantra and become a creed. The Collector had taken everything from her. Family, friends, species...in essence, her home. And she would be damned if she’d allow it to happen again. The line would be drawn here. This far and no farther. Which was why she was putting up with Quill’s nattering questions.
“So, what is it like being a pony compared to being human?”
That was...actually a fair question as it was one that she had considered more than a few times herself. Plus, it wasn’t about his inane conspiracy theories, and a willing distraction.
“It’s really different, but really the same at the same time, paradoxically enough.”
Quill cocked his head, the confusion evident on his features. “What do you mean?”
“This body,” she motioned to herself, “is rather different from my old one. Having a tail is especially a new thing for me. But personality wise? Ponies and humans have a surprising amount in common.”
Spring Fields looked up from where she was running lines, shooting a shifty glare Skitch’s way. She ignored it, instead trying to anticipate what Quill’s follow up question would be.
“Give me an example,” he said.
Skitch waved a hoof at her surroundings. “All of this is a good example. Earth had a vaudeville scene. Though, it went into decline...jeese, over seventy years ago now?”
“Are...you saying that your world doesn’t have theater anymore?”
Quill looked horrified and, for once, the other actors within earshot seemed to be of the same mind, the reading of lines forgotten. Skitch shook her head, unable to keep the wry smile off her muzzle. Theatre types. A familiar image took shape in her mind. Jerrod ranting and raving about how the latest production was going to be a disaster- for it was always a disaster- for some minor reason or another.
“No. There’s still theatre. It’s not as popular as it used to be and the vaudeville style variety show really isn’t done anymore. Still lots of people try to be actors though. And we have Broadway in Manhatten-”
“Oh, come on!”
Spring Fields had thrown her hooves, and her script, into the air. “Manhatten? What do you call your Canterlot? Humanlot? And I’m supposed to buy that the exact same kind of theatre developed on two completely different universes?”
“Yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense,” Skitch said, shrugging. “There are probably people and ponies who might be trying to work out that conundrum. But I don’t have the scientific or magical background to go delving into those answers. So, I take the world as it is.”
“You are such a fraud.”
“...Excuse me?”
“Your lies are so transparent!” she growled, stalking straight towards Skitch, her angry hoof stomps echoing against the wood of the stage. Stopping just short of Skitch, she glared all the harder at her, which made the unicorn take a step back. “You’re just taking things from Equestria and putting a different name on them! I want the truth! What do you want from us?”
Skitch’s surprise quickly gave way to aggravation. “I’m telling you the truth! You just can’t handle it! All I want is to earn enough money so that I can buy my house back and stop sponging off of Applejack’s family!”
“Oh, so it’s the Element of Honesty you’re after? Going to take her body like you did that pony’s?”
Now Skitch’s eyes narrowed, a sneer creeping across her muzzle. “You have exactly five seconds to get out of my face before I slap yours off! Applejack has been very good to me. Maybe better than I deserve. But I won’t have you insult her generosity by insinuating that I would do anything to hurt her! Nor will I have you insult the memory of the original Skitch-Sketch by saying that I stole her body!”
“You’re the one wearing it!”
“Because I was put into it!”
“Now, now, enough of this.”
Skitch felt Quill put a leg around her neck as he stepped next to her. She winced. This wasn’t going to end well.
“There’s no reason to be so distrustful of our visiting human here. Isn’t Equestria supposed to be a land of friendship and tolerance? What evidence is there that she means us any harm?”
“The newspapers!”
“Oh yes, the same ones that constantly kiss Celestia’s flank?”
“Like I care what a descendant of Sombra says!”
The rear doors to the building swung open, Pinkie and Flash walking in a moment later. Skitch kneaded her forehead with a hoof before sighing. This was going no where. “Okay. Tempers are high right now. Let’s just...call it an early night. We’ll all meet back here tomorrow around...ten am.”
Spring Fields snorted, but turned away, filing past her and then Pinkie and Flash on her way out the door. The other actors followed suit, a few shooting nervous glances as Skitch as they went. She could only hope that they’d remember and decide to stick with the plan, and loop back around to the theatre again. Once the coast was clear, of course.
Soon it was just her, Pinkie, Flash and Quill backstage. The playwright patted her on the back, making her dearly wish that he’d stop touching her.
“I’m sorry that happened to your my dear. The things that get lodged in some ponies minds.”
“Yes. The things.”
“We could always replace her. I could talk to Flim and Flam.”
Skitch shook her head. “And, what, make her all the more angry at me for messing with her career? I’ll just work around her attitude.”
Quill shrugged. “Well...if you’re sure. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?’
“Yup. Tomorrow.”
He set off, pausing only to wave goodbye for a moment. As the door snapped shut behind him, Skitch slumped to the floor with a sigh. She was immediately bowled over by the pink blur that was her curly maned friend.
“Skitchy! We have a super-duper emergency!”
“What, did Nightmare Moon come back or something?”
“No you silly-filly! Marigold Button is retiring! We need to make this play awesomeriffic to convince him to keep acting!”
Skitch stared at her friend for several minutes, before Pinkie poked her in the cheek.
“Skitchy? Are you okay?”
“Sorry Pinkie...my brain was just trying to shift topics without a clutch. You want to stop an actor from retiring?”
Pinkie’s brilliant blue eyes almost filled Skitch’s vision, as she pressed her snout right up against Skitch’s. “Please Skitchy! I grew up on his comedy! The next generation of fillies and colts can’t be denied his genius!”
Blinking, Skitch looked to Flash, who shrugged. “I’ve already told her that I think she needs to let go.”
Easier said than done. The heartbreak of fandom was a familiar thing to Skitch. From comic crises to disappointing movie sequels and prequels, she had experienced it quite a few times...and probably wasted far too much time arguing with people about those things on the internet.
Patting her friend’s curly mane, Skitch sighed but put on the nicest smile she could. “Pinkie...I’ll do my best. But I can’t guarantee anything. I’m not a great director here.”
Pinkie hugged her, her forelegs providing a surprisingly vice like grip. “Oki-doki-loki.”
“I guess we have to wait for everypony. Back to writing?” Flash asked.
“Yeah. We need to have some part of a script by the time everyone gets back.”
The half completed script was broken out and the trio set to work again, transcribing the events of the movie as quickly as she could, while Flash and Pinkie copied the words en-masse. It had seemed like they had just started when the doors swung open again and Rarity came trotting up the stairs.
“Rarity?” Skitch blinked, looking up from her work. “When did you leave?”
Rarity looked around the backstage area with a slight frown. “About an hour ago darling. I didn’t wish to disturb you while you were stuck dealing with Quill. Where did all our actors go?”
“Spring Fields and I had a fight. Used it as an excuse to make it look like we were calling it a day early. Now we play the waiting game and see if they come back.”
“What if they don’t?”
“We’ll….play that by ear,” Skitch sighed. “Any chance you could help Pinkie and Flash with copying?”
She hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Having to replace actors would be just one more problem on top of everything else. For now, they’d have to wait and see if everypony would come back and stick to the plan.
For now, Skitch focused back on turning movie to play, her quill scratching its way across the paper with the kind of frantic movements that only someone racing a deadline could produce. She only paused to look up at the clock, and mark the flow of time. Mid day gave way to early afternoon as the clock struck one thirty.
As the stacks of scripts grew, copied by the hooves and magic of her friends (and one musician), the doors began to creek open. Marigold Button was the first one through, sporting a new blue bowtie and a brown tweed jacket.
Flash voiced the obvious question. “Did you go shopping while you were gone or something?”
“What, on my salary? No, I just went home to change. Starting a new production, wear a new jacket. It’s a luck thing.”
Picking up one of the mostly completed scripts from the floor, Skitch passed it over with a flick of her magic. “Alright Mister Button, here’s the script we have for you so far. You’ll be playing Maximum Bounty.”
“And what’s the deal with Bounty here?”
“He’s a washed up, aging, corruptible Broadway producer who eeks out a living seducing old mares for money to produce his next play.”
“Ah, the hero of the piece.”
“You can do it Mister Button!” Pinkie cheered.
The doors clicked open again as another one of the acting crew showed up. She was a unicorn, with a navy blue coat, and wavy light purple mane and a single silver bell for a cutie mark. From what Skitch could remember the original script had her as a minor noble of some kind.
Whether Spring Fields would actually come back or not was still an open question. Considering her paranoia, having a backup plan seemed like a good idea to Skitch.
“You,” she pointed at her, “what’s your name?”
Blinking, she nervously shuffled her hooves before answering. “Uhhh, I’m Blue Bell.”
“Think you can do a mousy, nervous accountant?”
“Well, I think so….”
A script was shoved at her, Skitch getting to her hooves. “Let’s find out. Can you join Marigold on the top of page fifteen?”
The ruffle of pages being shuffled floated through the air as the actors found their marks. Skitch motioned with a hoof.
“Go, whenever you’re ready.”
“I assume,” Marigold started, taking on a clipped, accusatory tone, “you are making those cartoon noises to attract my attention. Am I correct in that assumption, you fish-faced enemy of pony kind?”
Blue Bell winced, almost cowering behind her script.
“I have hurt your feelings,” Marigold said.
Blue Bell nodded rapidly.
“Good, what is it?”
“S-sir? May I speak to you for just a minute.”
Marigold mimed pulling a watch from his coat pocket. “Go! You have fifty eight seconds!”
“Well, sir...it seems….”
“You have forty-eight seconds!”
“In looking at your books, I’vediscoveredthat…,” Blue Bell spat out, beginning to stumble over the worlds in a panic.
“Twenty-eight seconds, hurry, hurry, you’re using up your time!” Marigold snorted, waving his watch holding hoof.
Blue Bell turned away from Marigold for a moment, miming mopping at her forehead with a hoofierchief. “Mister Bounty, I cannot function under these conditions! You’re making me extremely nervous!”
Humming to herself, Skitch glanced over at Flash, Pinkie and Rarity. “Well, she’s convinced me. Any objections from any ponies?”
“None at all! I thought she was quite good.”
“Yeah! She was all silly and nervousriffic!”
“Better than dealing with Spring Fields throwing a tantrum again.”
“It’s settled then! Blue Bell, you’re our new second lead! Congratulations.”
The smallest of squeaks escaped the unicorn’s lips as her eyes bugged out. Then, before anyone could catch or stop her, she collapsed to the floor with a thud. They rushed to her side, just as the door opened again and Spring Fields came up the stairs.
The moment she saw the unconscious form of Blue Bell, she let loose an almighty scream. Scrambling back from the scene, she almost tripped over her own hooves in the blind panic.
“Y-you killed her! You monster!”
“She not dead! She just passed out cause I gave her a leading part.”
“You gave her my part?! YOU MONSTER!”
“Well...glad your priorities are in order,” Marigold said, rolling his eyes.
“I’m sure there are plenty of other parts. No need to call anypony a monster,” Rarity said, gritting her teeth slightly.
Picking up another script, Skitch dangled it before Spring with her magic. “She’s right you know. I think you’d be perfect for Rose Bouquet.”
Spring tore the pages from the amber aura, flipping through them to find the part. “Tell me about it.”
“You’ll be an eccentric director known for making horrible plays that inadvertently helps turn the worst play ever made into a runaway hit.”
“Really?”
“Hey, we are doing a comedy now.”
Spring pursed her lips as she continued to read, eyes zipping across the pages as she took in every word. A soft groan rose from Blue Bell as she began to stir, helped into a sitting position by Pinkie.
“Well, the play does look acceptable. But I should be playing the other lead! Why did you give it to her anyway?”
Skitch frowned. “Because I had no idea if you were going to come back! You’ve accused me of being out to hurt ponies! I’m amazed you decided to come back.”
“My career is dead for sure if I blow things off. For better or for worse, we are stuck together.”
“Sooo….that’s a yes on the part then?”
Spring Fields looked from Skitch to Blue Bell a few times, her expression still livid. But after a few rounds of this, she gave an exasperated sigh.
“Fine! The sooner we get this done and we can never look at each other again, the better.”
“Agreed. Rarity, can you-”
“Get them wardrobe? Of course darling,” she smiled, waving for the three actors to follow her. “Right this way!”
While Rarity trotted off with them, Skitch flopped into a seat next to Pinkie, the pair waiting by the doors for more of the returning cast. There were more scripts to pass out, after all. Eventually, the rest of the cast returned, filing back in ones and twos. Skitch and Pinkie gave them their scripts, and passed out the rest of the roles. Once they were all back, and milling about the backstage area, Skitch addressed the group.
“Alright everypony. First of all, thank you all for coming back. I know that some of you are still kind of unsure about me. But we’re going to get through this. Together.”
A nervous shuffle rippled through the crowd, but a few of them nodded. Pinkie pouted at this.
“Come on everypony!” she shouted, jumping forward with her usual explosion of energy. Rushing from pony to pony, she giggled, clapped them on their backs and flashed wide, beaming smiles. “If we work together, there’s nothing we can’t do! Trust a certified bonafide Element of Harmony on that! So, let’s see some smiles!”
Pinkie remained the master of her craft and her upbeat attitude proved to be somewhat infectious. More than a few of the actors seemed to loosen up, at least a little bit. Skitch could feel the fear that had been squirming around in her gut since this whole thing began, lessen as well.
“Alright! Let’s get to work then! We’ll begin with some read throughs and then well make sure that we got the wardrobe situation squared away.”
It would be a long night.
- - - -
A cheerful hum filled an apartment on Manehatten’s west side. It was one of the nicer neighborhoods in the city, made up both of old money nobles and new money investors. But it was the concentration of the former that had given it its nickname of Little Canterlot.
The continued existence of the Sombra line was not a commonly discussed thing in Equestria, but those relatives of the mad king who had escaped the disappearance of the Crystal Empire had left a legacy in the country. Through investments, both public and private, they had built a sizeable fortune.
But unlike many other noble families, House Sombra was more well known for what it didn’t do, than what it did do. House Sombra didn’t make their business public. They quietly gathered their fortune, accepted the royal accolades they earned without fanfare and made frighteningly few public appearances. Some of the rumors that swirled around the family claimed that the heads of the house lived an almost monk like existence, engaged in penance for their ancestors misdeeds.
Obsidian Noctem Quill was very much the exception. For him, there was nothing to be sorry for and he lived his life based on that idea. He trotted through his Manehatten loft with head held high and a happy tune from one of his favorite musicals on his lips. Today was going to be a wonderful day!
The sunlight of a fresh morning streamed into his kitchen through its wide bay windows, raising his spirits even further. He couldn’t wait to keep making progress on his latest production! Pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee he tossed a few pieces of bread into the toaster and then took a seat at the table.
A collection of notes on the production and its actors waited for him. He had come up with the observations last night. Most of them would were simple enough to fix with some work. Spring Fields though…. She was going to be a problem. And while Skitch might have been convinced that she could handle that mare, Quill wasn’t about to see this production be derailed by one pony’s paranoia! No. He would speak to the Flim Flam brothers. They were in charge and would be able to pull the problem pony from the show.
Freshly cooked toast popped into the air with a loud thunk, Quill neatly snatching it up with one smooth flick of magic. Munching on his morning repast as he made for the front door, he quickly threw his saddlebags on his back and set out into the city.
It really was shaping up to be a beautiful day this morning, the one thing that Celestia did well and without complaint moving steadily through the sky, so he decided to walk to the Flim and Flam offices, maybe stop for coffee on the way.
He strolled, more than walked, holding back the eagerness that threatened to burst from his seams. Soon, everypony would be able to see the truth about his family and the alicorns that had so slandered his ancestor. He wondered just how gullible the ponies he passed in the street were, to have never thought about the circumstances of a single pony that went on to become an alicorn walking away from the disappearance of a nation.
Arriving at Perfect Pegasus Production’s offices he was surprised to find them a little more bustling than usual. Flim and Flam stood at the center of a whirlwind of activity seemingly passing out instructions or papers or...something, to their employees.
“Flim? Flam?” he asked, approaching the pair of siblings. “What’s going on here?”
“Ah! There’s one of the ponies we wanted to see!” Flim grinned.
“Correct indeed oh brother of mine!” Flam nodded, pulling an envelope from a nearby stack. “Though I am surprised you’re here and not keeping tabs on your production.”
“Well, I have a problem with one of the actresses we’re stuck with. This Spring Fields? She seems a bit unbalanced. I would like her pulled from the production.”
“Nonsense! Her credentials are nonpareil!” Flim said.
“Besides, we’re completely confident in the production. Confident enough to let you and miss Skitch get on with things.”
Quill blinked as Flam shoved the envelope at him. Taking it in his aura, he examined the neat script on the front, Skitch-Sketch’s name clearly visible.
“Could you be a sport and deliver this to her when you head over?”
“Well...yes. But where will you two be?” Quill blinked.
“Back in Las Pegasus! We’ve been away from our movie projects for far too long! There are contracts to sign.” Flim began.
“Scripts to read.”
“Marketing and other promotions.”
“All in all, we’ve spent enough time in Manehatten for now. We’ll leave things in your confident, confident hooves.”
“But...what about Spring Fields?”
“Just give give that to Miss Sketch and everything should be fine by my boy.” Flam said.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an airship to catch.”
Quill blinked in confusion, staring at the envelope as the pair of producers swept past him. Running the events over and over again in his head, he came to a conclusion very quickly. Nothing about what had just happened made a bit of sense to him. Why on Equis would they just up and leave with almost a week of work left to go? Flim and Flam were known for being shrewd and very focused on making sure their productions made money. This was the time where things could go the the most wrong.
Those thoughts kept churning away in his head, searching for some kind of connection to the mare whose name floated before him. In theory it might contain some answers to what was going on. ...But on the other hoof, it was private correspondence. Could he really violate another pony’s trust?
The tearing sound of paper softly floated softly through the air, Quill realizing that he was already ripping it open. Scanning down the page, his eyes flitted restlessly from word to word. The content of the letter was direct and to the point.
Dear Miss Skitch-Sketch,
This official communication is to inform you that all official duties and powers of producer have been passed to you in the matter of The Darkness of the Crystal Empire. Such powers are included but not limited to, the ability to hire and fire anypony needed for the production, as well as all responsibilities for marketing and promotion. You are also authorized to make any script changes necessary to make a profit. We expect at least a twenty percent return on our investment.
-Flim and Flam
It was even notarized, with the stamp in the lower right corner, like any other official document. Now Quill was even more confused. A director already had a pile of responsibilities involving the actual play and making sure it ran properly. Producers had to run around and make sure it made money and was properly promoted. It was a role that involved a great deal of meetings and running around away from where the work of a director was done. Admittedly, his production was already funded quite well by Nouveau Riche but taking care of the marketing would without question pull Skitch-Sketch away from her actual job.
There was now no question in Quill’s mind. Somepony was trying to make Skitch-Sketch fail. Somepony was trying to make him fail! Somepony was trying to make sure that the truth was buried!
Cadance and Celestia.
It had to be them. And Skitch-Sketch was in a perfect position to be taken advantage of. Torn away from her home, the human would probably latch onto any kindness shown to her, and the alicorns were very, very good at being able to blind ponies with fake kindness. Now his meeting at The Palace was a rush to deliver a warning. Turning and rushing from the building, he just hoped that they’d be able to stop this plan in time!
- - - -
Coffee.
Skitch’s tongue tingled from the light searing sensation of the coffee disappearing down her gullet. The delicious dark liquid stirred Skitch’s senses and pushed back the lingering sense of exhaustion that clung to her body. She had the feeling that this was going to be her lifeblood for the duration of this little exercise, especially when it came to staying awake.
Stretching her forelegs out and arching her back, she was thankful for the unicorn magic that let her hold her coffee while she popped every crack out of her poor stiff spine.
I probably looked like a cat doing that, she thought. Adorable, thy name is Skitch-Sketch.
She had ended up staying even later than everypony else, giving the script another look over and nervously examining everything about their hidden production so far. Then, in a decision that was probably excessively self punishing in nature, just slept at the theater that night so she could get an early start tomorrow. That wonderful decision had ended with her being exhausted and stiff, when she stirred in one of the dressing rooms in the morning. At that moment, she had vowed to herself that once she got her house back, she was going to sleep in, in her bed for a whole day. At least.
Cast and crew had filed in a little while ago and were milling about while they waited to get started. Most looked pretty tired as well, though they also looked quite nervous as was their expected state considering the circumstances. Rarity and Pinkie were also present, of course.
“Alright everyone. Let’s start running through The Producers again. Pinkie, if you can keep an eye on the door again for Quill. We’ll switch over as soon as he gets here.”
“Oki-doki-loki!”
“Other than that, just stick with what we’ve been doing so far and we’ll-”
The loud bang and rattle of the stage doors flying open cut her speech off and quick. Noctem Quill came stumbling up the stairs, sides heaving like he had just run a marathon race. Waving an envelope above his head, he stumbled over to Skitch and shoved the envelope in her face.
“You...have to see…,” he panted.
Carefully putting her coffee down, she took the envelope, Skitch raised an eyebrow at its ripped open nature and her name on the front. “....Did you open my mail?”
“Suspicious…,” Quill wheezed, clutching at his side. “Just...read….”
Flipping the letter open Skitch slowly scanned down the page. Her already raised eyebrow threatened to disappear into her mane as she read the letter three times over, just to make sure she understood it properly. Only once she was positive about what powers had been given to her, did she allow herself a wide smile.
“Oh my...it seems that I’ve been given authoritah.”
“What...exactly...is authoritah?” Spring Fields asked.
“It’s like authority, but better. I’m the producer now.”
A mummer rippled through the crowd, questions flying back and forth.
“Really?”
“Why give a human-
“Who cares! We might not have to do Quill’s piece of trash!”
Rolling her eyes, Skitch stomped a hoof against the stage floor to get everyone’s attention again. Quill, however, looked utterly confused.
“Do you not understand what’s happened here? There is no possible way you can handle all the duties of being director and producer! They’re two completely separate jobs! You’re being set up to fail!”
Had Skitch been in a situation where she actually had more sleep, she might have picked a different tact in dealing with Quill. But through the haze of tiredness and the stress of what she had been dealing with, there was no desire to use kids gloves on the deluded writer.
“I was being set up to fail the moment I was attached to your disaster of a production.”
That changed Quill’s tune and fast. “Disaster? My play is a hard hitting expose about a dark section of history that you don’t know a thing about!”
“Your play is a bunch of incoherent ramblings! You are insanely lucky that Celestia and Cadance are as nice as they are! Back on my world, the kind of sheer, unmitigated trash,” Skitch snapped, brandishing a copy of his script towards him, “that you are throwing their way would you get you sued!”
“You have no concept of the depths of Celestia’s deviousness!”
“Alright then Quill. Make your case.”
Quill froze. “Really?”
“You want to prove your inane conspiracy theory? Either put up, or shut up! Spell it out, let’s go!”
It took Quill a few moments for his brain to catch up but he beamed at the chance to lay out his case. “Well, the first piece is the fall of the Crystal Empire itself. If Sombra really was enslaving the Crystal Empire, why didn’t she act sooner?”
“Well, I haven’t had the chance to really delve into that bit of Equis history yet-”
“Ha!”
“....But, just going off the top of my head. Sombra could have been hiding what he was doing until some ponies managed to escape, Celestia might have been worried about Sombra killing his effective hostages and needed time to plan. In a similar vein, she might also have been worried about the kind of collateral damage that she could have done fighting him.”
“That is total speculation and you know it,” Quill pouted.
“So was your point. But, if you got more, keep on going.”
“It’s been a thousand years since the Crystal Empire vanished and there has been no progress in bringing it back.”
Skitch cocked her head at that. “How much magic do you know? I mean...what kind of magic makes a kingdom disappear? That doesn’t sound like normal unicorn magic to me. Maybe she is, but she doesn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up.”
“And the banishment of her sister?”
“....Are you thick? What do you think would have happened if there was eternal night across the world?”
“And how do you know she would have actually done that?! Celestia’s word?”
“Luna’s.”
Pinkie stepped forward an uncharacteristic frown. “Luna thanked us for helping her. She hated being stuck as that meanie Nightmare Moon!”
“Well…fine, she might have been right on that one. But that doesn’t mean she’s not a hidden tyrant.”
“You don’t know what tyranny is!” Skitch snapped. “Cause let me tell you chuckles, nothing that I’ve seen Celestia do compares to the likes of overthrowing democratically elected governments, like my home country did in Guatemala, Chile, Nicaragua, and Iran! Spoiler alert, none of those worked out well for us!”
“...Why would your government do that?” Quill asked.
His confusion made Skitch smirk more than she probably should have, but Quills confused expression confirmed all her thoughts about his experience with oppression.
“Because,” she said, slowly advancing on him, “because while many of those governments were chosen by their citizens, they chose ones that my country was opposed to on an ideological level. But even putting the politics of nations aside your play is still total crap!”
“What? No it’s not!”
“It’s full of horrible cliches, hackneyed dialogue and plot points that make absolutely no sense! You have no idea how hard it was for me to even pretend that this was good!”
For emphasis she threw the script at his hooves, the pages popping loose of their bindings and scattering across the stage. Quill scrambled to scoop them up again, shooting a glare back at Skitch.
“Just because you don’t have any taste-”
“You have a scene in there where Cadance actually turns to the audience and explains her evil plot! You might as well have given her a mustache to twirl!”
“It’s a non-diegetic moment!”
“And had it been a non-diegetic character song, at least it might have been interesting to look at! I’d call what you did character assassination, except that you did such a completely incompetent job that no one would ever be take your efforts seriously! We don’t want you here!”
“Shut up!”
Skitch moved in for the final strike. “The fact is, we have a different play now. One written by a man with actual talent, unlike you”.
“I told you to shut up!”
“May everypony that laughs at your sophomoric efforts be a reminder of your eternal mediocrity, and pierce your heart like a knife!”
The scattered pages dropped from Quills grip, the unicorn stumbling backwards with wide eyes. Without another word, he turned and ran from the building. Skitch sighed, sinking back to her haunches.
“Wow...that was...brutal,” Flash said after a long stretch of silence.
“I have to agree dear. Did you have to be so...vicious?”
“Probably not,” Skitch shrugged. “But people like him offend me on a deep level. Because of...reasons I’ll talk with you about later.”
“While I am glad that Quill’s gone, he wasn’t exactly wrong kid. I don’t see how you’re going to direct this thing and be a producer at the same time.” Marigold said.
“I’m well aware that it’s not ideal. But the way I see things, there’s now a slightly better chance of being able to pull this off without that millstone around our collective necks.”
Marigold rolled his eyes. “That still doesn’t sound like plan.”
“Look, just focus on your roles for now. I’ll be back in a few hours, tops, and we’ll see where we are.”
“And what are you going to do?” Rarity asked.
“Live up to an ethnic stereotype and try to control the media. Anypony know where a telegraph office is in relation to here?”
“Head two blocks east, then north. Should be on the corner.” Marigold said.
Ignoring the confused stares from most of the group, she headed for the door. As she left, Rarity looked at Pinkie Pie, coughing and jerking her head towards the retreating form of her friend. Pinkie nodded and followed, disappearing out the double doors a moment after Skitch.
Rarity turned to the cast and crew with a nod. “Well then, shall we get back to it?”
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Save her, Pinkie! Save Skitchy from the path of meanie-pantsdom!
Great chapter, GreyGuardPony. I've been following since before the first one was revised. Nice hinting on Magnum's problems without hammering them in. Eagerly (yet patiently) waiting for more.
Sketch isn't a bully, she may be blunt and harsh to quill, but, not a bully. Some times, speaking the harsh truth is necessary to get through the skull of some ponies. She was in the right and was set up the second she started this adventure. Quill didn't understand that his idea's are flawed and are horrible and he would either ran out of the city or turned into a laughing stock or both. Sketch actually saved his face by forcing him off the project.
Possessive form. Apostrophe required. No other errors stood out enough for me to notice.
6347666
Thanks Lurker!
Magnum's position was a bit of a back and forth. I don't picture Equestria as having some of the issues with gender and sexual relationships that we've had, cause I do like an optimistic setting. So, Magnum does truly believe that his son deserved to be his daughter.
His daughter just started acting really different and it's kind of freaked him out.
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To be fair, breaking out a quote from Family Guy to tell someone just how useless they are is a little beyond "tough love" in my book.
She was just less than willing to deal with the Equestrian version of a Holocaust Denier.
6348346
Nice catch, thanks!
Hey, it's almost like I'm getting better at this. :P
All of the discussion about whether songs are diegetic or not reminds me about the confusion whether the songs on the show are diegetic. Basically, about 10% are definitely non-diegetic while about 10% are definitely diegetic, which adds up to, as Rainbow Dash would say, about 20%. About 80% of the songs are ambiguous. A big turnaround is between My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Equestrian Girls # 1 and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Equestrian Girls # 2: Rainbow Rocks:
The only definitely diegetic song in MLP:FiM:EQ#1 is "Equestria Girls" and the only definitely non-diegetic song is "This Strange World" but every song in MLP:FiM:EQ#2:RBR is diegetic. I set aside the opening and closing songs because if each movie would be a TV-show, those songs would be attached to multiple episodes.
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Fun fact. I had no clue that term existed until Silver Quill brought it up in one of his videos. Just had to use it!
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Mister Joss Whedon played a fun joke on viewers once:
The audience is so used to non-diegetic songs complete with instruments that he once made an episode of "Buffy The Vampire-Slayer" with characters singing with instruments that the audience assumes is non-diegetic until a character sings about being forced to sing and the mysterious invisible instruments. All of the music in the episode is diegetic. ¡Nothing like blowing the minds of the audience!
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Pinkie Pie: Oh no! Nothing's worse than Skitch-Sketch with authoritah!
Quill is like the horrific fusion of a Holocaust denier and a 9/11 truther.
6394836
And he’s still infinitely saner than the schmuck behind Spirit Science. No, that’s not hyperbole, the guy behind Spirit Science believes that Atlantis was real and that Jews are from space… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.