• Member Since 7th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 4th, 2015

Illumenarie


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Henrietta or "Henry" Trotter is a unicorn, a breed of pony that can perform magic while her best friend is a teenage girl who learns that she is part of the Homo Magica race, humans who also have magical abilities. Then one day while out running, the two find an ancient amulet that forever changes both of their lives. Upon waking up, they realize that they can communicate with each other while growing from Mal's forehead is a mysterious bump. To save her from the wrath of the humans who fear their new powers, Bumblehoof, headmare of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, takes both filly and girl under her wing, bringing the two into the once secret world of Equestria. This only happens to be the start of the adventure of a lifetime. As if anypony could handle the all-mighty powers of a living god.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 20 )

For those giving dislikes, would you be so kind as to explain why you disliked this fic? It will help me improve not just this story but any future stories I may happen to write. And for those few who like this, would you also be so kind as to comment about what you did happen to like. Feedback is wanted and welcomed. Please and thank you and happy reading.

4961511
I'd tell you why I disliked this fic, but then I'd look like a jerk.

4961618 disliking something doesn't make one a jerk. Not allowing an author to grow as a writer would make you one though. C'mon, I've asked for feedback so lay it on me.

Okay, not to be mean... but this chapter?

So much better than that prologue it isn't even funny. Not even kidding.

Still cringe on seeing what is clearly a rare but decently well-known term used like that, but a wast improvement nonetheless. (Imagine if Jedi were called Doorknob warriors, and I think you can understand why I¨m harping on the Animagi thing.)

But there's hint of a quite decent plot, the characters act according to what we know of them, things like the casual mention of O.W.L.s make it seem like this is a good mix of MLP and HP without bashing you in the head with it...

Frankly, I think you'd be much better off by deleting that prologue entirely, and renaming this chapter into one. It won't turn back the clock on the down-votes you've already gotten, but I think new readers will be far likelier to give this fic a chance if you do that.

Still, for this chapter you get an upvote and fav from me at least. Not quite sure on this fic yet, but I think I've seen enough promise for it to be worth the gesture, if nothing else.

4962144 Thank you for taking the time to actually read and give feedback. And as for this being a comedy...I do not think it is as I originally had no intention of it being such. I plan for the story line to someone coincide with the overall story of the original HP series and I do not think the original HP series is a comedy.

Names have been changed as suggested by a friend as to not mislead readers that unnamed main character is "The Boy Who Lived".

And for things being played straight, there is going to be a payoff, I promise but I won't reveal much about in the effort to not spoil things.

And another thank you for paying attention to the word 'Animagi' being used in the weird way it has been. I was using the word in its truest form with 'ani' meaning animal and 'magi' meaning magic thus 'animal magic'. In later chapters I plan on having this addressed in story. Our unnamed narrator is not all that reliable in terms of knowing what she is talking about since at this point she honestly doesn't have any idea about the world she lives in and those she doesn't know about.

As for the Metemorphmagus part. Let us just say that she is more than a mere human with the ability to turn into a winged unicorn. Again in an attempt at trying not to spoil seeing as how you've already dropped some information that may or may not be true, there is not much else I can say about it. But yes, you are correct in me needing a better name for whatever the heck she does happen to be, a name that I have yet to come up with unfortunately.

Thank you once again for taking the time to read this through and give feedback.

4962299 Thank you yet again for taking the time to read this and to give honest feedback.

And yes, I completely understand the cringe-worthiness of seeing the misused word. I also share in this even as I write, lol. But in due time with more chapters as our main character embarks on her journey, things will be cleared up and hopefully I will have a better name altogether for just exactly what she, and creatures like her, are.

At the risk of spoiling, I will add this though.
She's a hybrid known as the Centauroi but what all that means is up to be discovered.

I will however take your advice and make the first chapter the prologue. As the author's note explains, I wasn't all that certain if the current prologue was going to be the actual prologue or not at the time but simply posted what I had. I will work on a better way to incorporate her into the story itself in future chapters.

4961739
I believe you misunderstand: It is the disliking that would make me look like a jerk, it's the reason for disliking that would make me look like a jerk.

Let's just make this clear: It wouldn't help you grow as an author.

4963094 I will take your word on that then.

4962032 I hope you're trolling. Us regular humans? The Latin name for us, which all scientists and biologists use, is Homo Sapiens.

4963504

Yes I know, homo is also slang for gay.

4963512 I know that, but that's not how it's being used here. Okay?

4963520

Hey, it's not my fault you don't get a joke.

4963527 I also do not get the joke. I mean yes, homo is slang for homosexual/gay but again, as Friend of Bronies has already stated, in no way was the usage of it meant to imply homosexuality.

4963547

Eh, don't worry about it. Good luck with your story.

4963557 A-alright? Thank you? I have so many mixed feelings but know that I do genuinely appreciate the luck given.

4963573

Welcome, make sure to explain what everything is, I loosely understand what the school is, but I'm more interested in the premise of the school then what's going to happen to Twilight. I want to know who the Animagi(?) are and not what's going to happen to Twilight. I want to know who Henry trotter is not what's going to happen to Twilight. Catch my drift? I'm more interested in the AU then the actual plot, you need something to catch the readers eye. When Twilight didn't get accepted I went "oh that sucks" then wondered a out the school. Interesting premise, but still needs some work.

4963613 Great! Finally someone who is not all that interested in Twilight or at the very least, not about what happens to her in this particular fic. But in answer to your questions: all things will be revealed upon further chapters. Stay tuned and happy reading, everypony.

4963634

If your whole point was to get people not interested in her try to have it where you come back to Twilight later and focus on some pony getting accepted into the school. You've caught my eye, I'll put this on read later. If it goes well I may favorite the story.

this story has potential, I'm looking forward to seeing this grow. good luck to you.:raritywink:

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