Snow of the Soul

by BloodSweatAndTea

Shame

The atmosphere around Snowflake and Gigglebox the next morning was painfully awkward. Snowflake made many attempts to make eye contact with Gigglebox, but he turned his head.

"Oh, will you two just kiss and make up already!" Yelled the blue pony (who they had recently found out was called Rainbow Dash).

"What do you mean?" Said Gigglebox.

"Oh, please, it's painfully obvious that you two had some sort of lovers tiff last night." Said a white unicorn.

"WHAT?!" They both yelled simultaneously.

"As if I would go out with him!" Yelled Snowflake, her voice starting low, but ending in a high pitched squeak, and pointing an accusing hoof at Gigglebox.

"Likewise! She's rude, snobby-"

"How the hell am I snobby?! That tree is probably more snobby than me!" Snowflake yelled pointing at the 'tree' (it was actually a bush).

"At least I don't worked up about the smallest of things!"

"At least I don't hide my feelings!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"For f-"

"SHUT IT!!" Screamed Twilight.

"Still, I would never go out with her. Besides, I'm-" Gigglebox almost made the big mistake of finishing that sentance.

"You're what?" Asked Snowflake, cocking her head.

"I'm nothing!"

"Well, you're clearly something."

"PLEASE! Don't start this again!" Said Twilight, breaking it up once again.

The group trudged onwards, even more awkward than before.

"Still, you two would make a pretty good couple." Said Rarity, breaking the silence.

The two ponies turned their heads at the unicorn.

"Don't go there again." They said, perfectly in synch.

A few hours later, the group was just ready to flop on the ground and sleep. Pinkie and Snowflake were at the front, steadily working their way through every single Dolly Partrot song ever, Gigglebox was at the back, tired and grumpy, Rarity was whining, and the entire group just needed a sandwich and some sleep.

"Can we stop here? I'm hungry." Said Rainbow Dash.

"IN MY COAT OF MAN- oh, sure, I'm hungry. " Said Pinkie.

"I-I don't think that would b-be a good i-idea..." squeaked Fluttershy, facing away from the group.

The black mist towered high above the rest of the group, and although it had no facial features, an undeniable sense of malice was there, ever present.

Twilight ran to the front of the group, her horn sparking.

"Don't panic, guys! It's all under control!"

Her horn sparked more frequently, until eventually, her horn started involuntarily shooting beams at Gigglebox. He screamed a little, until he completely disappeared, leaving nothing but a scorch on the ground as proof that he ever existed.

~*~

Gigglebox had no idea where he was now, he didn't know where Snowflake, nor the others, were. He was just floating in a giant celestial space. He tried calling out, but he couldn't speak. He tried moving, but he had no body. He was just there.

Suddenly, he saw a white screen appear. It showed a young mare. She looked about twenty years old, and she had a bright green mane, orange eyes, and had copper colored fur. Gigglebox didn't know what this was all about, but suddenly he saw different things happening. It showed a younger version of the mare watching what seemed to be a stallion being lowered in a casket. Then it fazed out, and turned into a scene with her in the rain, she had a face of sad loneliness. It then showed her with two old ponies, taking her into an attic. It showed terrible visions of her getting beaten and yelled at.

As she looked towards Gigglebox her eyes turned completely black, iris and all. Then it showed the current age at twenty years old. It showed a stallion, this time walking away from the mare, who was lying on the ground with cuts and bruises. Suddenly, her eyes turned black again, but this time instead of cutting to a different scene, it stayed. She was lifted from the ground by an invisible force. She distorted, and changed into an ugly, big, black orb that rushed to the stallion who was completely oblivious to what was happening. suddenly, the soul consumed the stallion. Gigglebox heard the blood curdling scream come from inside the soul. Then, as clear as day, a female voice pitched in.

"Yes, I was once attractive, wasn't I?"

The voice was echo-y, and spiritual.

"But all the heartache and pain changed that. Now I am the true embodiment of sadness and fear. And I hate it! Driven by hunger, I cannot stop. Please, do not make the same mistake I made! Always keep happiness in check, Gigglebox, and this shall not happen to you!"

Gigglebox looked back at the screen and he saw himself, hanging from a noose, it showed him distort and turn into the same black orb. He heard himself scream and cry, and then everything faded to black.

~*~

Gigglebox opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a very worried looking Snowflake, her icy blue eyes screaming "distraught".

"You're okay!" She yelled, throwing her arms around his neck. She suddenly broke away, and slapped his face.

"OW! Why'd you do that?!"

"That's for scaring me half to death!"

She slapped him again.

"And that's for being a massive twat!"

"Whaddya mean?"

"You were asleep, and you were talking in your sleep. Something about failure, that you're sorry. Why didn't you just tell me? I thought we were friends!"

"Really?"

"Well, yeah! You're a good guy! Now, since you are my self proclaimed friend, I think you'd better tell me about what all of that was about!"

"Sure?" Said Gigglebox, cautiously.

"Positive. "

"Alright Snowflake, I'll tell ya. It was six years ago, and it was Hearts and Hooves day. Everypony had their 'Special somepony' "

He made quote gestures with his hooves.

"But me, I didn't need that yet. But I had a friend. Her name was Buzzkill, the two of us were great friends. The only thing is... She was the complete opposite of me. She was quiet, shy, and an all around soft spoken pony."

He paused, then continued.

"It was the Hearts and Hooves Day dance, and everypony was going, the only reason I was going to go was because me and my buddies were just going to pal around at the dance, but at the end of school, Buzzkill went up to me and asked me... If I would like to go to the dance with her."

"Aww, cute." Snowflake said.

"P-please don't, okay? I'm trying to be serious here."

Snowflake was surprised to here this from her friend. She thought he was all fun and games, but hearing his Manehatten accented voice say that was a very alien concept to her.

"Sorry, continue." Snowflake gestured with a hoof.

"Anyway, when she asked me, I couldn't help but blush in embarrassment. I couldn't just lie to her, I-I had to tell her the truth. I had to tell her... My secret."

"Well, what is it?" Snowflake asked interrupting Gigglebox's story. She wasn't that good at hiding the fact that she was a mare of gossip.

"I told her I was..." He took a long breath of air. "I told her I... was gay."

Snowflake gasped in shock. She didn't have any trouble with gay ponies, but it still surprised her.

"Which I learned didn't work out for me so well. I made her heart break, Snowflake! And for the rest of the year, she wouldn't talk to me! My friends stayed away from me thinking that I was going to try to grab them or hit on them, so I was left friendless!" He was getting misty eyed. So was Snowflake.

"Nopony deserves to be cast out like that!" Said Snowflake, outraged.

He continued.

"B-but that's not the worst of it. I would get bullied, harassed, cast out. But being me... I still kept a smile on my face." He pointed to his face with tears running down his cheeks as he tried to make a fake grin.

"It didn't take long for my dad to figure out. My dad was ashamed of me. He hated me for being gay! The only pony I knew who accepted me for who I was was my mother. She was the one who would always fight my dad for me. She was the one who would always tell me 'It's okay, my little Giggle!'" He mimicked a woman's voice.

"But... thankfully, she divorced my father. And knowing this, I thought that I would be sent to my mother's home to live with her. But no! My father was friends with the judge, he made him sign all the rights to take me to my father. Just so that he could abuse me even more!"

Gigglebox wasn't sitting in one place any more, he was up and pacing around. He had tears rolling down his face as he continued his sad story.

"After my father one the rights to take care of me, I was granted a last word to my mother. And do you know what she told me? She said in her calm, and soft as silk voice, 'Always remember to smile, my little Giggle'."

Gigglebox couldn't help it any more, he started to cry. Snowflake comforted him until he got up to resume his story.

"Ever since then, nothing went my way. My dad abused me, physically and verbally. Calling me a faggot, a colt bucker... But... I still kept the smile on my face."

He stopped to let out some more tears.

"I have another secret. I've tried to take my own life. To escape the pain and sadness I've endured in my childhood. But I just couldn't find the bravery. My dad would call me a failure, and not a son of his. He would always say, 'He's not my kid, he's a faggot!'" He mimicked a gruff voice.

Snowflake's expression quickly turned from pain to anger. She could only imagine how much it must have hurt to hear that phrase directed right at her. She paused momentarily, before a truly impressive amount of language flooded out of her mouth, some of which Gigglebox hadn't even heard before. He eventually got over the fact that it was possible to say that much in less than a minute, and continued.

"Years went by, and was still living with my father. But one night, before I left to live on my own, I finally snapped. He called me a faggot again, and I argued and fought with him. I left, with all my stuff. And I never spoke to him again. The last time I saw him was at his funeral. He was in a giant massacre, it was terrible. It was at the factory he worked at, and I guess a worker got annoyed or something, and since he was a unicorn, he used his magic to burn up the place. With my dad in it."

Snowflake was amazed at the detail of the story. She would've never thought that behind this fun, happy-go-lucky pony hid a sad, dark past.

"And by the time his funeral came, I was done with the whole gay thing. I was done with love in general. I knew that if nopony accepted me when I was a boy, I knew they wouldn't accept me as an adult. And I made a promise to myself; since I couldn't make ponies like me for who I was, I would try to get them to like me for what I can do... Which is making them..."

He stopped and let out in a low tone "Happy."

At this point, Snowflake had tears rolling down both her cheeks. She gave Gigglebox yet another hug, repeating, "Why didn't you tell me?" over and over.

It was strange, seeing the pony that had been basically nothing but brutal to him Since they first met cry over him.

But it did feel nice to know that somepony was on his side. And while Snowflake was a prick to him from time to time, she was pretty good to have around. How he felt about her hugging him was an entirely different matter, though. He never let ponies come into to much close contact with him. They'd only leave him later on.

But having the comfort of having somepony near him when he needed them was a feeling he missed. And to be perfectly honest...

He was kinda enjoying having Snowflake so close him.

She hastily wiped her eyes as she broke away from the hug.

"Sorry, I was always a sucker for sad stories. So, when are you going to tell the rest?"

"WHAT?!" He shrieked, "Oh, no, no, no! I said, I gave up!

"That's stupid."

"I don't care!"

"You basically gave up your entire identity! Who are you supposed to be, if you can't be you?"

It was almost as though she had morphed into a love advisor before his very eyes.

"STOP MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM!" He shrieked.

"NO! You gave up what makes you... YOU! And the fact that you can just do that because of one closed-minded, unaccepting pony makes me feel sick. You could give up everything in that one string of words! Did that never occur to you?"

"Yes, it did! You can pressure me all you want, but I promise, it won't do any good!"

She stood up, looking down on Gigglebox with an icy glare.

"Fine."

And she left the tent without another word.

Gigglebox took a few moments to register what just happened.

"She gave up on me." He muttered.

"She gave up on me like that."

"THAT BITCH GAVE UP ON ME!" He screamed, a burning anger everywhere around him. Cast out? Yes. Bullied? Yes. Given up on? Never. Even his dad still gave him food to eat and a bed to sleep on.

"Well, fine! Like I need to socialise with a snob like that anyway! She may not have cast me out like the rest, but she gave up on me!"

He sat down, his face red with anger.

"And to think, I even considered her a friend."

A small part of him still screamed at him 'go and find her!'.

But he wasn't going to give in to it. Not like that bitch.

He spent many hours in his tent, muttering and cursing to himself, but after time,he realised he wasn't even angry.

He was scared.

Scared that at last, he'd found someone on his side, only for them to leave him, yo give up all hope on him. Snowflake was one of his very best friends, and knowing that she was mad at him made him feel very bad about something.

And the fact that she wasn't on his side made him feel as though something was missing from him. Snow was his back-up. His right-hoof (wo)man. She was there, and she had been since they'd first met.

He ran out of the tent, and straight into the forest. He had to find her. It was either that, or lose his best friend. The forest was surprisingly empty, with very few trees. It would be easy to find her.

He screamed her name at the top of his lungs. No reply.

He ventured on. He wouldn't stop looking if all Tartarus broke loose right then.

Eventually, he reached a clearing, so he could take a break. He sat on a tree stump, to find a white pony, with wavy powder blue hair with wavy, electric blue stripes.

Snowflake.

She was sat in a tree, with the biggest of grins on her face.

"Forgive me?" She asked, still sat down.

"Yeah, I guess I was being a bit stupid."

"Nah, it was my fault."

"Look, Snowflake... I-I didn't mean to yell, I know you were just trying to help, and it got out of hoof. Now you're angry at me, and I don't blame you if you hate me now."

"No, no, I had no right to intrude into your personal love life. I'm sorry."

"No, you had every right to, Snowflake! And you're right! I gave up what made me me that day. Just because my father hated me for it. B-but you don't understand, Snowflake, you don't know how hard it is, being gay. Stallions don't want to be near me, nothing about me is attractive, and I would be lucky if I got some old fat pony to even like me. Let's face the music, Snow, I'm always going to be alone."

He got misty eyed once more. Gigglebox didn't know that Snowflake was doing the same. "That's another reason I gave up being gay. I knew that it wouldn't get me anywhere. But now I know I'm just some obnoxious, annoying, ugly, faggot, looser."

"Hey," she said to him gently, her voice soft as silk, "you're not alone. I'm still here. And I always will be, no matter what. Obnoxious? Not at all. Annoying? Slightly. Ugly? ...I don't think so..." He couldn't help but notice that her cheeks went a little pink as she said it, "Faggot? No! You're you! And a loser? Not at all. You're pretty awesome, if you ask me."

"That's just the thing, Snow! You don't understand it properly! You've got a rational head on your shoulders, and I'm glad for that, but you've never actually been through how hard it is!"

He whimpered to himself. Snowflake could hear it though, she thought it sounded horrible. She never liked it when her friends would cry. But she was also very surprised. Even though he cried in front of her before, the majority of stallions she had met would never cry in front of a mare, or if they did, they would deny it. She had major respect for Gigglebox being able to do so.

"A-are we still friends then?" She asked with a soft voice.

"Of course, Snow, of course."

This calmed both Snowflake and Gigglebox. Their friendship meant the world to one another.

For a few minutes more they sat in the tree, but Gigglebox had one question that could change the moment for the worst or for the better. He was about to ask something that could change the path of fate.

"Um, Snow? C-can I ask you something... Important?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course, Giggle, what is it?" She asked, blissfully completely unaware of the question he would ask.

"Before I said I was gay, di-did you... Like me?" Gigglebox asked quietly.

"What do you mean, 'before you said you were gay'? I still like you! We're friends!" Snowflake replied.

While he may have been changing the path of fate, it was still intent on putting him through hell.

"No, I mean... Did you... Like-like me?"

Snowflake's pupils dilated, and she instantly fell out the tree.

"WHAT?!"

She rolled around on the floor, waving her hooves in the air, completely lost for words.

"But-why did- it's just- UGH!" She yelled, and then flew back towards where they were they were camping.

It wasn't until minutes of sitting in that tree later that Gigglebox realized that he never got an answer.

Author's Note:

Ok, before I get a shit load of comments saying "but I thought Gigglebox was gay!"

...but that won't happen, since we only have one comment so far...

Homosexuals can like a particular person of the opposite sex, and heterosexuals can like a particular person from the same sex. It doesn't make them bisexual, or pansexual, it just means that this person has an exception. You will find that it actually happens very commonly. So, no, Gigglebox isn't bisexual.

And now, a quick word from GodOfBBQ.

Hem, hem.

Now just so you know I am not gay myself and I have nothing against them.

Well, we have learned an awful lot today!