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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hoho! Great chapter. I fear that Twilight will flip once she discovers about Spike and Rarity.
Too awesome ( fanboy for ten minutes or days)
Great chapter. But I feel that the signs that say 'Rainbow's transformation' and 'Flashback' are a bit inmersion breaking.
I think I just found a new favourite story. Great writing and I just love the mature spin on it!
5095906
I agree. The story is great, and it's surprisingly new. But when you do things like that (and adding color to the text) it really kills the story's mood.
5101866 True enough.
5101630
5095906
The transformations are there to give a sort of Madoka Magica feel, thus won't be there a lot. Only when the characters have their defining moment. As for the other color moments, I tried to color them in the manner of the character that's having the thought. I'll try to keep it at a minimum.
5104059 The description of the transformation scenes are fine. What makes it awkward to read is when you write "Fluttershy's Transformation" before it happens.
As for the color thing... if you're using it to show someone thinking, why not try italics?
5104059 I'm fine with transformations, and personally, I feel that changing the color of the text is pretty damn cool. It reminds me of when I read The Neverending Story and things that happened in the real world were in red font, while things that happened in Fantasia were in green.
It's just that it feels a bit weird when the text, besides suddenly turning blue, stops the story to tell the reader what should be obvious because of the change in the typography.
5199277 Afraid not. It's just deep admiration. Twilight only has eyes for Spike in this story.
Talk about foreshadowing....Twilight is worried about having a crush on her best friend and doesn't think that she is worthy enough to be anything more to Spike than to just be his friend. Rarity has obviously taken to Spike as well just for being him--not even bothering that he's from Canterlot or that he's an unofficial Prince. And because Rarity is aware that she wants Spike (as well as a immiment lovemaking session from the implications at the end [will you come by the boutique tomorrow] coming) , she's gonna make the first move. Love is a battle after all.
Twilight, it's obvious that you love him, and despite your fear of losing him to someone else, you are doing yourself a great disservice if you just leave your feelings to yourself. Who knows---this regret and minimizing yourself could ultimately turn you into a nightmare, just like Nightmare Moon.
That’s an understatement.