Epilogue: Flawless Cowboy
The sky was partly cloudy over Canterlot Castle. An excited shiver ran up Twilight's spine as she roamed the castle gardens. The Princess told her that it was near the hedge maze, among the statues.
Passing various monuments and figures frozen in striking poses, she finally stopped at a small pedestal with a new, glossy plaque decorating the base. Engraved was, "John, Sierra-117. Live on in Legend."
Her eyes traveled upwards, eventually reaching John's damaged helmet, which was enshrined in a glass block. The visor was badly cracked, and the front was slightly mangled, but it was relatively intact. She smiled at the familiar sight.
"It's certainly been a while," she began.
A long pause. The sun shone through the clouds for a moment.
"I brought you these; the girls wanted you to have them." Twilight set a basket full of various gifts from her friends at the base of the pedestal, next to the plaque. "We all wish you had stuck around; you were quite the character."
Another long pause. The sun faded.
"You're a mysterious character. You know that? I remember the first time we met; you tried to kill me. And then, the next thing I knew, I was riding on your back, after you had gotten me out of the timberwolf-infested forest. What astonished me was that I was pursuing you, but you came back. I don't think I can ever understand that logic. But, I do think I have one thing figured out about you."
She smiled at her reflection in the visor.
"You keep your promises."
The distant tolling of a clock bell caught her attention.
"Oh, dear. I've got to go; my train home leaves in a little bit."
Pulling her own gift out of her saddlebag, she placed it on top of the glass case before setting off.
"Here; don't lose it again!"
Galloping off, the unicorn turned the corner and disappeared from sight. The sunlight broke through the clouds again, reflecting off of a metal chip with an empty gap in the middle strung up on an intricate chain.
"If we don't make it..."
"We'll make it."
"...It's been an honor serving with you, John."
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What's that last bit about?
Overall, I think this last chapter and the epilogue were a good conclusion. Maybe a bit of an abrupt ending to a plot that had just started to gain momentum, but it's still better than to stretch it out for too long, which is what a lot of other stories tend to do.
My advice: don't waste time rewriting it! It's okay the way it is. Just keep moving forward and make your next story even better!
Also, have a like!
I think that John and Cortana had earned their rest and I think that they can rely on the Ponies to honour their legacy for as long as Celestia lives and remembers them.
A very satisfying ending to a great story. One of the few Halo crossovers that are actually complete too!
they died? bull$h!t
I upvoted this story a long time ago when I first read it, and I have no intention of changing that. However, I was not very pleased with the path you ended up taking. I think you lost your way half way through.
Specifically around the time you revealed Celestia killed all Humans in Equestria. What was the point of that? Did I miss or forgot something, or was it simply pointless?
I don't think this villain Snowflake really added anything to the story either. But up until that chapter I thought you were doing great.
I don't know what you were trying to do with this story, but let me tell you what I got from it: To me this story sought to answer a very simple and yet poignant question: What would the Master Chief feel if he was stripped from everything that had meaning to him and left without a goal?
The MC we know from canon is a very goal oriented person. Every single moment of his life was spent planing or working forwards achieving a goal. Now the flood is gone, the Covenant ended the war, the human race is (relatively) safe. And he has been separated from everything and everyone he knows, with nothing to do but to think about all the horrors he lived through.
And I thought your interpretation of that was great. I know you got a lot of criticism about the MC being OOC, but personally, I felt that despite the occasional fair point, the vast majority of people commenting on that simply failed to acknowledge two simple facts:
The MC isn't an automaton (Halo 4 really hammered this point in), and he has never faced this type of situation in cannon. In cannon he always had a goal, an objective. He never had time to mourn. Other than the end of Halo 4 (which hadn't been released yet at the time), where we do see him mourn.
Again, all the way up to Celestia killing all humans, the story might have used some adjustments, but the core of it was pretty great. If you are going to re-write it, I suggest the following:
- More focus on the Chief and Cortana and their coping with their situation
- Forget the thing with Celestia killing the humans. Let Celestia be in your story what she is in cannon. A motherly figure, that tries to help the Chief.
- If you need a villain, which you might, in order to keep the Chief and Cortana separate, leading up to the Chief's near suicide attempt (which I thought you handled brilliantly, by the way), don't try to make him Humane and relatable. Make him an amorphous mass of evil like Sombra, not so much a character as much as an obstacle to overcome, in order to keep the focus of the story where it belongs.
- For the love of the gods: If you aren't going to let them reunite at least let the MC and Cortana share a last moment together before they die. And why not have Cortana survive? Do the opposite ending of Halo 4, and have Cortana live on on a Crystal as some sort of Elder and influential figure on Canterlot.
4015368
Ah, but remember that John's a Hero. Marvel rules apply: if you don't have the corpse in your own hands when you personally hack it to pieces and burn them all one by one, then he's not dead. And even then, it's still only a 50-50 chance.
to the author: when the edited story goes up, please tag blog post to this mentioning the remake, so we can all find it again.
This was the second FiMFiction story I ever read, so don't go letting me down.
4015914 so true
It was an ending. A good one. But I find it a very unsatisfying story in general. John comes in, get bullied by Princess Celestia, gets mind raped by the unicorns, deus ex machina villain, double death.
It was an experience. Not one I particularly enjoyed, but a good one.
FINALLY TYTYTYTY
After reading this story to completion, I have a few thoughts. First off, I liked the ending. Having a definite end to the story is a major perk for me. The fact that Chief died in battle really was a positive ending, this way, when the UNSC finds the Forward onto Dawn, the Princess can tell them that he died like a Spartan - he died killing his enemy. His death ranks right up there with Kurt and Jorge for me. I think the whole induction of "Don't make a girl a promise you can't keep" was perfect. I know you are getting a lot of flack for it (and will continue to) for killing John and thus ending his story, but a wise man once said something that will stick with me forever;
"If you follow your hero long enough, you will stumble over his corpse."
Honestly, I thought the story was at its best when John was the 'bad guy' and the Equestrians were the 'good guys', because both seemed to fit the role. John wasn't really bad, nor were the Equestrians really good. They were just playing the parts assigned to them. In my opinion, keep the story as is. Fix any errors, if you feel they are present, but don't change the story. This story is a 1,400+ like story, because of what it is, so leave it be.
"Spartans never die, they're just missing in action."
I'm not saying he survived, but I think John survived.
but all that was a dream when cortana woke cheif up 4 years later the start of halo 4.
4016677 He had too, otherwise this story makes Halo 4 null and void.
4015605
This got edited out. Humanity now took itself out with Celestia standing on the sidelines trying to find a peaceful solution.
4016947
Strange dream for a super soldier to have...
4017769
Seriously?
Didn't that chapter get edited because people didn't like the Chief's reaction? And then got edited again?
Oy!
But still the point kinda remains. Was there a point to establish humans existed and then Discord magic made them all insane and then they all died?
Because I got the impression it was hammered on in order to justify Celestia's reaction to the Chief when he first arrived and...that was one of the few things I didn't like in the beginning of the story (as I originally read it that is).
Plus, turning people crazy homicidal isn't really Discord's style either.
4017888
The basic premiss still exists. Celestia feared that he was just as "bloodthirsty" as the humanity she knew from before. I'd recommend rereading it, it's significantly better than the prior versions. I still have some reservations with it, but they are more minor then the prior iterations.
Sorry. I had to thumbs down this. You broke the biggest rule regarding the master chief. HE. DOES. NOT. DIE!
I like this. Alot
It's better than saying "Then he lived. Thee End."
This ending is perfect.
When you think about It. The chief had nothing let. No family, no friends, no enemies. What's there too go back for?
At the most, "if" the chief goes back to earth. All he would be doing is sitting down and grow old. He would be cursed by P.T.S.D. And would've gone mad. Maybe driven too the point of sucide.
Chiefs mission is done, 'Save Hummanity' all there is to do now is play the game again.
4022594 Hahaha, no worries. I found it pretty funny too.
gasp you monster john whold have been stronger he can beat tank to the ground and kill it he can through a tank for crist sake he can restle a brute im shor he wold kill big mac by fliking him on his sholder
Well done mate.
That was a sad but great ending to a fantastic story.
Awesome job. Favorited, and recommended by me to my friends.
Well that was bullshit
loved it, manly tears were shed today
4016677 that comment and that pic... perfect!
4022653
Who said he did?
4080333 ...did you even read the last chapter?
4080346
Yes, and I also read the last two sentences.
4087332
An error is an error. I'd like to smooth out as many wrinkles as I can; it's not too much trouble for me. Didn't think it'd come off as me trying to please you; if that offended you in some way, I apologize.
Moving to the topic of the inaccuracy of John's character, I agree. I sort of let my imagination let loose when it came to this "re-imagining" of John, which I never realized was something I should avoid, since I was writing this for fun and didn't really pay any heed. I based everything in this off of memories I have from reading Eric Nylund's Fall of Reach, The Flood, First Strike and Ghosts of Onyx (the last one was mostly used for technical references, like classifications of starships or something), although I read those back in middle school, and this was started in the fall of my senior year. I'm only saying this to explain that I've read most of the books, but it was a few years back. And because I was writing this for fun, going back to reading the books again would have drained said fun out of writing this, since it's fairly tedious and painstaking. Of course, this was a mistake, and won't be repeated in the rewrite (See last paragraph).
Only bit that wasn't really my own was the long hair, since it was suggested by a FimFiction user (the reason being that he never really had time to get a haircut or anything like that, although this is probably debunked since cryo stops cell growth) and made sense at the time.
As far as his complexion, that's why I went with "ghostly." Little-to-no exposure to sunlight or UV rays for a few years will do that to a person.
Not sure what you mean by "why does he still carry guns." There is a ship that has plenty of guns on it nearby: Forward Unto Dawn. If you mean that he didn't have any guns when he went into cryo, he put his assault rifle in a nearby locker.
As far as your criticism, I've already considered it, as you are not the first to tell me these things. Not sure if you read the Author's Notes, but I did mention I'm doing a rewrite because of my lack of fondness for much of these chapters, as well as the huge influx of constructive musings and powerful points brought up to me by FimFiction users. Anyways, thanks for reading this. Hopefully, this suffices as a response.
This story is disappointing the plot is so bad that a 3 year old story has a better plot then this
My god that was so sad i thought he and cortana would at least survive
MY HEART! You've ripped it out and eaten it!
I can't think of anything constructive to say, but I finished the story and I've been with the story many chapters before it was compleated. So have a picture that more or less describes what I felt from start to finish reading this story.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/8/2/65449__safe_discord_reaction+image_artist-colon-az-dash-pekt_statued+discord+replies.png
In other words, It stated out with a surprisingly good as John was in the fugitive stage of the story, then it started taking some questionable turns as he worked with the ponies to stop the new villain that sort of came out of nowhere. Then near the ending, I sort of lost interest, but after powering through, I found it to be both genuinely sad and slightly disappointing(again because of the villain). It could have been better, but it could also have been worse.
that was fucking terrible!
Wow, I'm sorry, but, Chief and Cortana both not surviving the whole thing really rubs me the wrong way. It's a good story, yes, but I just found the ending to be...I don't know...dissatisfying.
4240799 you gotta be that guy? Not cool bro
k
This was a well written story... but in my personal opinion I have to say this was not how Chief would be like or how he would act. I'm sorry but *dislike*
please don't be mad
This was fucking terrible, you made chief act the complete opposite of what he would normally act like. I don't know why this has such a good rating unless its a bunch of cod players who know nothing about halo reading it.
Two parts of the comment section.
Part A: [youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2ovm1J_AxLQ]
Part B: [youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t6MFR-gDIpY]
5305862 ....that..that would so awesome!!!!
Thos kinda feels like it can have a sequel.
Wait...
John and Cortana died?
:(
I REVIEWED this story!
5580168 Not everyone gets off scot free in life.
Damn, half way through the story was great but the ending... yeah, no. I just really dislike it
Though sad I think the ending was kinda cool. Xd
I can't imagine a better way for chief to go out. And how his memorial would look like. Awesome dude. ^_^
Hmm. This story really is bittersweet. I'm not too confident in the later chapters, especially the ones introducing and involving the Archmage, but this is your property, not mine.
You played Master Chief perfectly in a situation like this, and who knows where this could have gone if it didn't end like this? I just feel like so much more could have been done, but alas, it was not meant to be.
In the end though, I'm just here wanting more, but more will never come.