"Dashie? Come in Dashie!" Ross said through the com. His voice was raspy from his harsh awakening. They were still a few miles from where they needed to be. This Kaiju was BIG. Ross was feeling a bit nervous. So was Twilight. He knew it.
"This is Dashie! Whaddya want Grimm?" She asked in a slightly harsh tone. She was just as tired as him. And it showed.
"Just saying hello!" He replied in a jolly tone.
"Ross, focus?" Twilight suggested. She was kind of irritated at him. He was never a serious man, and she knew that about him. She wishes he was. She didn't hear him reply, but she knew he did.
The radar screamed as a claw went toward Ross and Twilight's Jaeger. It connected at the left eye, though it did not breach the hull. Ross shrieked in pain and readied for a counterattack.
"Hurricane! What's your status?!" Octavia shouted into her mic.
"I'm gonna tear this bastard's heart out!" Ross shouted back. The blood from his left eye clouded his vision. The couple fought back with animalistic ferocity, driving the horn of their mechanical combatant through the Kaiju's shoulder. The Kaiju Blue leaked from the wound and trickled down its chest.
The beast then bit into the left knee of the couple's Jaeger. Ross screamed and Twilight began to panic.
"Marshall!! 'Shy and I can't just sit here! We're moving in to help those two!" Rainbow Dash shouted with anger. They did just that, slamming into the side of the Kaiju, toppling the beast.
"Dammit! Rainbow Dash! Your insubordination will no longe-" Celestia was cut off by Dash shutting off the com.
The Kaiju slowly stood back up and went after Dash and 'Shy. It connected and tackled them, knocking them into the water. It went to tear into the head of their Jaeger, only to be stopped by a daggerlike blade to its temple.
"Ross?! Are you okay?" Dash asked.
"No.... I need a doctor...." He said with a laugh.
"Just get back here..." Octavia laughed into the mic.
"Can do." Twilight responded in a soldier-like tone.
I was going to ask who the fuck Ross was, even after looking at your other stories, but then I saw your username.
Yeah, I was sent here by God to tell you that you can stop now.
Sorry..... I felt like doing that.... Wanted to see how that would turn out. LOTS OF PEOPLE DO THAT THOUGH! Don't they? No?
just a few things, 1) do you have someone pre-read your stories? i feel like they jump around too much, 2) maybe you could provide a little more description? there's a lot left to the imagination here. it's hard to picture the surroundings, the jaegers, and your oc. it kind of feels like they're fighting on a blank field, or some kind of giant box.
i have no idea what you're thinking about for a plot-line ( plot) and i have no idea if you're even thinking of continuing this story, but it feels alright, other than the couple things mentioned before. don't mind others hating on shipping your oc with a mane six character, that's just something that clicks in a reader's mind that either bugs them, or not.
anyway... yeah, sorry if this was too rambly, and if it was confusing... i don't do this often
4873637 Please be my proofreader? I do that myself. So please? As my first watcher? And I do plan on continuing. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your feedback is brilliant!