This was asinine. This was pure asinine. No, it was worse. This was degrading and tiresome. I didn’t deserve to be subjected to this torment. I am Smaug, the greatest and chiefest of calamities. I am the embodiment of fire and death. I deserve to be treated with respect. Acknowledged as superior to that of any who dared gaze upon my form. I...
“Does this dress make my butt look too big or too small?”
I groaned. Not even lying amongst my gold helped quell the irritation I felt. For the last several hours, I have been forced to watch my jewel try on dress after dress. All the while, she had to go on and on about her behind. It was maddening in more ways than I thought possible. “You look fine.”
“You haven’t opened your eyes yet,” she had a point.
“Because I find this whole thing tiresome,” I finally opened my eyes and looked at her. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have kept them shut and simply ignored her. Counting my gold would have been much more relaxing and time well spent. No, I had to listen to my precious jewel. Of course I had to. She was my property so I must gaze upon her from time to time.
The moment I laid my eyes upon her, I was still. The orange dress wasn’t extravagant. At least, I didn’t think so. I don’t know much of the ways of women’s dressings. Moreso how they burn quite quickly. It was fitting, but poofy in a manner of speaking. Her flowing mane was held in some sort of bound manner, resembling a tail of sorts. I felt something stir inside of me as I gazed upon her. It was similar to what I felt when looking at that young human girl. This was much stronger though. It was a feeling I kept getting every time she changed her dress and it was infuriating.
Curse this mare for the confusing emotions she thrusts upon me. She’s doing it on purpose. Hmm, perhaps it’s a ploy to aid in her escape? Yes, that is possible. You are clever, my precious jewel. Not as clever as I. Still, I could not find my voice. What type of spell can she cast with just her visage?
Celestia blinked in confusion as she gazed at me. Then she smiled that small smile of hers. “Am I that breathtaking?”
I snorted. The sudden rush of air forced her to flutter her wings to keep balanced. “All my jewels are breathtaking. I just find this whole thing ridiculous. You are beautiful. Why hide it within such clothing like the infantile races outside?”
“Because we are attending a festival,” Celestia answered.
“And you still believe that we are attending?” I asked with an amused chuckle. After leaving that infernal child’s sight, I was able to think clearly once more. I would not be swayed by the opposite sex in any manner ever. “You are truly naive.”
Celestia frowned. “You promised, Smaug. You promised that family that you’d be there for the festival.”
“And I should go out of my way to attend a festival for the race of men?” I snarled, lifting my head up high to look down at her. “The same race that drove my kind to near extinction? Those that have done nothing but try to steal the treasure I have worked for my whole life? I would rather tear out my own scales than go.”
“Then you don’t deem your hoard worthy of another’s eyes?” Celestia quirked an eyebrow. “You believe that your splendor is yours and yours alone and that others just have to assume you possess it?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you getting at?” She was always up to her tricks. Hers was a cunning mind, for an equine.
“Oh nothing,” Celestia idly inspecting an outstretched wing. She ‘hmmd’ and pulled out a loose feather with her teeth. Spitting it out, she smiled. “I am beautiful, am I not?”
“You are mine,” I said. It was hard to keep the agitation and pride from my voice. “All of which I possess is beautiful. From the smallest coin to this entire mountain for which I am king.”
“Would it not be gracious to show off this wealth?” She tilted her head upwards to look at me. “They are envious of your wealth, Smaug. Why not show them they are envious for a reason? Show them the true wealth of a dragon.”
I blinked in confusion. I did boast of having the greatest wealth in all of Middle Earth. Would there be any misgivings in showing it off? The races of Middle Earth knew I had it here in the mountain. They dared not enter, but did they know how vast it truly was? Accursed mare. Why must her words be so tempting. “They should already know of the wealth I possess. I am king under the mountain. All that dwells inside is mine.”
“That was centuries ago,” Celestia added, causing me to snort. Centuries are nothing to me. “They may have forgotten.”
“Then I will remind them,” I growled. Forgotten? Forgotten? Had the races of Middle Earth become complacent during my slumber? Oh yes, they would. I am not amongst them anymore. They had grown soft and weak without a true fire drake to instill fear in their hearts. “I will show them true riches with just one jewel. That I and I alone can obtain such riches.”
Celestia smiled. “Of course. You are Smaug the magnificent.” She bowed her head. “I am truly thankful I am allowed to dwell in your kingdom.”
I grinned down at her. “You are welcome, my precious jewel.” I am glad to have won this argument that easily. I would show off to these humans and show them the greatness of dragons this age has been denied.
“And you are my gracious host,” Celestia chuckled. “Of course, now comes the big question of how we’re going to attend. I doubt they are going to be so welcoming of you in this form.”
“No sane man would welcome a dragon into his village,” I snorted. “Lest he wishes to see true terror face to face.” I realized I rarely did get to look my victims in the eyes as I destroyed them. Pity. It gives me such a thrilling feeling.
Celestia tapped her chin with her hoof as she pondered. It honestly still surprises me how versatile her limbs are for an equine. “I know for a fact that you are a wonderful practitioner of transformation magic, Smaug the Stupendous.”
I peered at her inquisitively. “I dabble as much as the next fire drake. It is simple magic, for a dragon at least.” Where was she going with this and why did I believe I was going to hate it? “Why are you asking? You already know of this?”
“Because my dear dragon,” Celestia’s eyes twinkled with what I would call mischief. “I have figured out the perfect way to attend and blend in with the crowds.”
“And how do you suppose we do that, my precious jewel?” I chuckled. She was probably going to have us both attend as birds or some little animals.
“We are going to the festival as humans.”
______________________________________________________________________
A thrush had no business being out in this foggy, human town. It was so humid, I knew my feathers were soaked from merely flying through it all. I had a half a mind to tell Smaug what trips like this did to my wings, but I had another half of mind that reminded me that I loved living. So I just had to endure. This was going to be a long assignment. I didn’t even know why Smaug wanted me to tail some humans. He was Smaug. He could just burn this whole place to the ground whenever he liked and no one could stop him.
I wasn’t going to ponder why Smaug didn’t just kill these humans. That’s what he does, doesn’t he? Kill and plunder. So why isn’t he doing it here? They don’t have much, but I saw how the human leader of this place flaunted his shiny pieces. Smaug would want them, yet he’s spared these people. Perhaps this was Celestia’s doing, or the dragon was just lazy. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to live to tomorrow.
Thankfully, I didn’t have that much trouble finding the home of the humans my master wanted me to track. Keeping a low profile was necessary of course. There were a few hawks about and disgruntled humans. I wasn’t taking any chances. A small window was open on the side of the house. I’d chalk this up to luck, because if I was a human, I’d do my best to keep this accursed fog out. So I flew right on in and perched myself on a hook on the wall. I gave the place a glance. The forest was a much better place to live, but this would do. For humans at least.
There was a human on the bed. Normally, I’d do my best to hide. She wasn’t scary though. She was little, probably a hatchling of sorts. She was sewing a dress. It was plain and brow, like my own feathers. At least these humans had good taste. She was humming a little tune. A sweet one. It was a tune I’ve never heard before, so I just stood and listened. My head bobbed along with the tune as I got lost in it.
“Oh, hello little one.” The girl’s voice broke me out of my trance. “What are you doing here?”
I looked down at the young human girl as she tilted her head. “I’m watching over you.” I found it amusing that the race of men could not speak with us animals. There were tales the elder thrushes speak occasionally of the men of Dale talking freely with us. Those were baseless-
“Why?” The girl tilted her head in confusion. “Is there a reason you want to watch me?”
I blinked in shock. Perhaps those legends were true. “You can understand me?”
The girl nodded. “Yes, of course I can.”
“And you don’t find this odd?”
“I just rode a winged unicorn that can talk, while holding a dragon in the form of a raven.” The girl shrugged. “A talking bird doesn’t surprise me. Besides, you’re a really cute bird.” She lifted up a hand and stroked my feathers. Given my nature, I couldn’t help but flinch at first contact. She quickly pulled away. “Did I hurt you?”
The way her eyes shimmered caused me to act fast with my response. I didn’t want her to cry. “No, of course not. I’m just a bit of a coward.”
The girl smiled and continued petting me. “My name is Tilda. What’s your’s?”
“Thrush,” I answered. “At least that’s what my master calls me.”
“Is he the one who told you to watch me?” She asked curiously.
I nodded. “My master, king under the mountain, wishes for me to keep him informed on this family.” I gulped, realizing I had made a grave error just now. “And I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Don’t worry,” Tilda’s smile wiped away any and all concerns from my heart. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I sighed in relief. For some reason, I couldn’t help but trust this little girl. Before we could talk some more, which I found refreshing to talk with someone without the ever present dragon about, someone slammed open the door. Tilda quickly rushed to the front. That’s where an older human girl storm into the house. She was soaking wet from head to toe.
“Sigrid,” Tilda gave the girl a concerned gaze. “Are you-?”
“I hate this town,” Sigrid nearly roared as she stormed upstairs. I was somewhat surprised she didn’t break the railing on the stairs, given how strong her death grip on it was. “I hate these people. I hate everything about this place. I don’t even know if I can properly say how much I hate it.”
“Sigrid,” Tilda spoke up. “Should I go get you something?”
“No!” Sigrid nearly roared. “I just want to be away from...EVERYTHING!”
When the older human was out of reach, Tilda sighed. There was a loud ‘smack’ noise of someone closing something. A ‘door’ perhaps. “This town has a lot of bad people in it. A lot more good people, but still some bad.”
“Why don’t you just leave?” That was a funny question honestly. I could just abandon the forests around the mountain. Smaug would never find me, nor would he care. Yet...for some reason I didn’t. I couldn’t explain why. I just didn’t leave him. He needed me. At least, I think he did. That dragon was lazy in his own way. He needed someone to be his eyes and ears for the outside world. Of course, he could just turn into a bird. Why did he still need me? Well, I keep telling myself he’s lazy.
“Because this is our home,” Tilda said it as though leaving was never an option. “Father says the lands outside are too dangerous. There are orcs and goblins swarming about and really bad men who’d love to rob us. It’s safe here, even if some of the people are mean.”
I knew what she was talking about. There were many thrushes around that were screaming about tall, pale two legs that burned and killed whatever they touched. I didn’t want to listen to them, but they were closer than I would have liked. Something was stirring them up. Something that could control hordes of orcs and goblins and even the bad men. I didn’t want to think about what it could be.
“But enough about that,” Tilda smiled and took me in her gentle hands. “Let’s go back to my room. I never do get to talk to birds anymore.”
I nodded in agreement. A pleasant conversation is always good. Celestia had shown me that. So it wouldn’t hurt to talk with this human so freely. Smaug didn’t have to know.
Someone is going to agrivate smaug and the town is going to combust.
more please!
I now have the desire to see Smaug return with Celestia to Equestria along with Bard and his daughters... Who would conveniently be turned into ponies because world jump shenanigans.
Smaug: Bu-bu-but... MY HOARD!
Celestia: Oh stop it. You can get a new hoard. There's plenty of treasure in Equestria.
Smaug: I was King under the mountain!
Celestia: There's a perfectly good mountain nearby with a cave you can have, so long as you don't snore smoke. I hear it's also got quite the view... And leftover treasure.
Smaug: ... I'm listening.
Celestia: It's also a few hour's walk from Ponyville, where Bard's family will be living.
Smaug: And Tilda?
Celestia: And Tilda.
Smaug: I suppose a little change would be good for me. What about food?
Celestia: When we get there, I suggest you try biting a gem. I have it on the best authority that dragons find them divine.
Smaug has no idea who he is dealing with. Celestia is a master negotiator.
6236421 I got 20 bits that its the mayor and his snake assistant
I am expecting Tilda to end up telling the Thursh about the mayor's plan to rob smaug. If she can manipulate the words correctly, it would lead to Smaug gaining a lot of trust in Bard and his family.
6236915 i triple your bet sir!
60 bits on the mayor turning the town against them!
I wonder if it is possible for beaks to to the Jaw Drop?????
I dub the Hagrid the Thrush.
A good chapter, some well done dialouge and hints of things to come.
6236581 LOL, now what would the Arkenstone taste like and would he try to steal the Crystal Heart and Elements of Harmony for prime eats??? And I totally approve of Bard and his family moving to Equestria...
6236915 I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT HAPPENING since they would deserve it and it gives the whole town an excuse to move to either Dale or Equestria when Celestia returns.
6236983 This needs to happen!
6236421 Brudda. That's happening as we speak for a couple months as we wait for that particular update to come.
Of course you did oh Smaug, how could you not? She's clever for an equine, but she's still just an equine.
user-cdn.spring.me/photos/20120326/n4f71037d40a06.png
Another impressive little bit of banter, as usual. Bravo, good sir!
Oh Smaug, you got so, she has you pegged.
Awesome chapter, I fall in love with this story a little more with each instalment, I'm very pleased.
~Dollars.
Friendship is contagious, it seems. Well played, Celestia.
I would like to see bard or one of his family warn smaug about the attempt on his hord. Well and for smug to be properly grateful about it, you know after Celestia beats it into his head. Even better still, what if Bard kept Celestia safe at his home while Smaug, delt, with his thief problem. Get Bard even more brownie points.
Loving this story. Just saying
6236915 make it thirthy
I love how Smaug thinks he won the argument. You never win an argument with a women, they only let you think so.
I think I know who the Nightmare will possess.
Ya know, it's kinda sad how fast she whipped him... and the poor schmuck doesn't even know it. And I agree, this would be the perfect time for little Tilda to warn Smaug about the heist, maybe send Thrush to Tia first so she can play damage control?
I was actually thinking about this a few chapters ago, but forgot to mention it. Also where did Celestia get dresses from?(especially for an alicorn.)
For some reason, throughout this entire chapter I kept imagining a horde of the Panzer Soldats from the BO2 zombies map origins marching through Middle Earth.
Smaug seems more in character this chapter then the last one where he let the human child hold him. I just don't see him taking that kind of strain on his pride easily. I don't know, maybe I just want more subtlety in how Celestia's friendship causes him to change like this chapter did. Still an awesome story though. Definitely looking forward to more.
6238345
So very true!
This human thing means Celestia and Smaug will be the same size and species for the first time...
Oh man, some giant orange-haired dude is going to show up in the village, and see the mayor flaunting his gold jewelry for the festival, and sparks will fly! (Well, it will start with sparks...)
I have a hard time wishing for the mayor's demise, the guy was played by Sir Stephen Fry!
6239462
Well, she does have magic. Perhaps she found a trove of dwarven- Wait, I forget. Do Middle Earth dwarves HAVE females? I have honestly forgotten off-hand. Well, maybe we can say that Smaug has at some point looted the cabinets of men and taken THEIR women's dresses. And as Celestia does have magic, perhaps she turned the switch from human to alicorn equivalent?
Guh, this is going to bother me for awhile yet. I'm off to see if I can uncover evidence of dwarven ladies! *dons mining helmet* Wish me luck!
Ah Smaug, it is so cute how you think you still have control of the situation. Celestia has you totally whipped and you refuse to admit it.
6244361 I would guess she used her magic to make them. We have seen Rarity do something similar before so it stands to reason Celestia could make it happen one way or another.
As for the dwarf women, that was explicitly mentioned in the movies:
Feels like Mr. YOU SHALL NOT PASS over here has been ignored for a few chapters, but I'm sure he'll be involved in the next chapter. Right Gandalf? What? No, I don't think you should blast the author into the story. Umm, anyways, great story! Love the character development! Wonder when Nightmare moon will learn that people can't love you when they're scared of you.
6236581
Not to mention manticores, hydras, cragodials, and ursa majors.
6236581 you forgot about Tilda becoming fluttershy's best friend.
What do you mean, anymore?
Tilda, Bird Whisperer
The Kind