Loving Note had always found it easy to manipulate Zebby Skulltaka. All she needed to do was a little twinkle of her eye, a pep in her step, and a little rump swing. She’d learned all the tricks, but even then he was hard headed. Alpha Skulltaka scratched his chin in thought. “A play? Dunno, me dogz didn’t care much fer the last one.”
Loving Note rolled her eyes. “That’s because our dogs can’t coordinate to save their hides.” She smiled as she heard Skulltaka chuckled and nod. “I believe we can keep it simpler this time. Why don’t you lend me some of our ‘guests’ in order to set it up?”
“Dat sounds gud,” Zebby Skulltaka nodded once more. “I know just da ones ya can use.”
“Oh?” Loving Note quirked an eyebrow. It usually kept Skulltaka a minute or two to think of something. That was honestly the shortest amount of time it took a Hyena Dog. He may appear to be stupid, but he could be clever occasionally. “Then pray tell, what are we waiting for?”
“Just preppin’ meself,” Zebby grumbled. “Da one ah gots ain’t da best worker. Been thinkin’ of takin’ ‘er head, but thought ya could take ‘er off me paws.”
That was the blow that nailed the suspect. There was only one slave who fit the bill he was describing and she was actually looking forward to this. “Lead the way, Zebby.” Loving Note said. The only thing she had to worry about was how little Lia would fair.
____________________________________________________________________
Lia was honestly curious about this person they were bringing her to. She sounded mean. She’d have to be to rile up these dogs so much. That just sent a shiver down her spine. Sure, Lia knew a lot of scary pokemon, but she also knew they were friendly. They wouldn’t hurt her ‘cause they were her friends. This new ‘creature’ could be a friend, but it could also be really scary. Lia prepared herself. She was the sister of one of the most feared beings in the world and the daughter of one of the toughest Joy’s ever. Lia Louise Joy was not one to back down from anyone and she wasn’t going to start now.
“Unhand me you brutes,” a feminine voice called out. “Do you not know who I am? I shall remind you post haste, you simple idiotic-” Once the speaker rounded the corner, Lia was confronted by a female Seviper that was being pushed by some Hyena Dogs. She was wearing the same collar Lia wore that blocked her powers.
“Lucy,” Loving smiled. “So good to see you.”
“Loving Note!” Lucy smiled. “It is so good to see you again. These brutes are simply not even worthy of the honor of being my prison guards. I am Pike Queen Lucy! I demand the highest order of guards that can handle the greatness that is I!” She had a little habit of gesturing as she spoke.
Lia’s jaw dropped. Something familiar clicked within her. Something that she honestly never thought she’d see.
“BIG BROTHER!” Lia glomped Lucy. “I knew you’d save me. Changing your gender is weird, but that time you changed into a human was even stranger.”
“WHAT?!!” Lucy shrieked.
“So datz a guy?” Skulltaka scratched his head. “Huh, snakey things are weird.”
“I”M A WOMAN!” Lucy shouted. “THE PIKE QUEEN! THE GREATEST FRONTIER BRAIN THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN!”
“LUCY!” Lia shouted back, jumping up and down around her. “I’m such a big fan.” It was true. Lia always wanted to be as epic as Pike Queen Lucy. Well, she wanted to be as epic as her big brother and as pretty as her mommy, but the Pike Queen was her idol. She had all of her merchandise. “Can I have an autograph?”
Lucy smiled. “Of course, young one. I would be-”
Her speech was cut short as Skulltaka slammed his large fist into the ground, shaking everyone. “‘NUFF! Ah’ve ‘ad enuff of you talkin’ an’ talkin’. I’m puttin’ my fist down. You’z help Note with her play and it betta be gud. You hearz me?”
“Crystal,” Lucy glared up at him.
“Gud,” Skulltaka snorted. He softly nuzzled Loving Note as he passed. “See you’z later.”
Loving nuzzled him back. “See you, you oaf.”
Lia couldn’t help but frown in confusion. ‘Why is she smiling at the meanie? Does...does she like like him?’ She remembered how Loving kind of defended the Alpha Dog. Could it be he wasn’t as mean as he looked? She let herself ponder this as he walked on by.
“Little one,” Lucy snaked her head near Lia’s. “Are you alright? You have the air of someone troubled. I should know, for I can detect any air that has ever aired before in this world. I am a woman of many talents, the greatest of our ages in fact.”
Loving rolled her eyes. “Oh please, spare me the ‘oh great is me’ speech.”
Lucy huffed. “You’re just jealous that you aren’t as awesome as I, Pike Queen Lucy, the leading Frontier Brain.”
Loving huffed. “I’m not jealous. I could never possibly hold as much hot air as you.”
“Why you-” Lucy glared at her, before chuckling. “Maybe so, Loving.” She then looked to Lia. “Whatever was on your mind, child?”
“A lot of stuff,” Lia fidgeted under her hero’s stare. “Like how you remind me of my big brother...and why was the big meanie being nice.”
“He isn’t all bad, I’ve said that before.” Loving sighed. “He’s just really rough around the edges.”
“You sure know how to pick them,” Lucy spoke.
“I’d blame Fate in this instance,” Loving said.
Lucy nodded and patted Lia’s head with her tail. “Do not worry. You’ll be out of here in no time, the same as I. For no place can hold this much greatness forever. I will burst forth and shower my enemies with the hate I feel. Until then, let us be off. We have a play to make.”
Lia smiled. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to wait. Besides, her big brother was coming regardless.
_________________________________________________________________________
“Listen up and listen well,” Sev shouted at his soldiers from atop the train. They had finally made it. Well, almost anyways. This was the closest the train tracks took them in that direction anyways. “I don’t want to go about repeating myself. You can only handle so much awe inspiring words at a time.” He turned to look at King Trotankhamun, who stood at his side. “Would you like a few words before I go?”
King Trot shook his head. “For another time, my friend. This is your operation remember?”
Sev inclined his head. “Yes it is and that is why it shall succeed.” He turned back to his soldiers. “Now would be the time I would usually say a grand and inspiring speech about how great we are and how much victory is assured. I need not go on about it because victory is not up for debate. Each and every one of you has proven themselves worthy to be here. I think that speaks volumes of our fate. As of now, our foolish enemies lay underground holding my sister and no doubt countless zebras in slavery. This barbarity will not stand. The vices of our old home are not to come here. We will expunge this evil and every evil like it. Zebrica is our home and no one messes with Zebrica.” A round of cheer sprung up from the soldiers.
“I gotta say,” Flannery spoke up. “You’ve got a way with words.”
“Of course he does,” Milo spoke up. “How else could he inspire such chivalry in our hearts?”
“As Milo states,” Sev turned a glare her way. While he acknowledge his own mother was a ‘human’, he still hated having even one of them near him. “So please, human, keep your mouth shut.”
“I say,” Milo huffed. “That isn’t necessary. She is one of us now.”
‘That remains to be seen,’ Sev thought to himself. He dared not speak it out loud. He knew of Milo’s infatuation with the human. He wasn’t one to pick on him for his awful taste. ‘She wasn’t even Seviper themed. Only one human was smart enough to do so and could be considered sexy.’ Sev had to admit, said human had the second best behind he had ever seen….Umbra’s was the first.
She was a lot of first, come to think about it.
“So what’s the plan?” Trot asked.
Sev just smiled. “The most cunning of them all.”
___________________________________________________________________
Hyena Dogs were no strangers to the unusual. Zebrica was home to many strange creatures and magics that the world at large knew little to nothing about. It was the second most oddball place on the planet. Hooftralia was the first. What they didn’t expect to see was a snake like creature wearing a blue uniform of some kind, with a huge brown, bushy mustache, top hat, tie, and suitcase. Not to mention the assorted armored/uniformed others with the same attire.
“Hello good sirs,” the snakey thing said. “Would you like to purchase a window?”
__________________________________________________________________________
*meanwhile, in the capital*
“Gard?” Ag spoke up, casting a worried gaze at her beloved mate. “What happened?”
Gard was currently smashing his head into the wall over and over again. He eventually stopped and cast her an aggravated stare. “Traveling window salesmen.”
“Traveling window salesmen?”
“Traveling window salesmen.”
Ag was silent for a moment as she let that all process inside her head. She then facepalmed hard enough for the metal to echo across quite a bit of the castle. “On a scale of one to-”
“Twenty five.”
Ag groaned. “It’s at times like this that convince me he enjoys being stupid.”
“Oh you don’t know the half of it,” Gard said, smashing his head into the wall again.
Ag grabbed him and put him over her shoulder. “We’re going out on the town. You seriously need to clear your head.”
“I can never clear away the sheer stupidity of it all! Never!”
“How you two remain friends is beyond me,” Ag rolled her eyes as she continued on.
...I...you...Sev...this... just...and back on Earth they were actually considered... dangerous... HOW? Sev, just... Unown inspire me, for words are failing me. I have no idea what to say about this.
It's so ridicolous it cannot be unfunny!
im with Gard on this one...i even looked at the stupidity level through a Scouter...it went way the fuck past 9000 and then burst into flames....
I'm lost for words
*gasp* Another canon pokemon character appears!!!! TO THE LIST!!!!
I don't know what worse, the fact he tried some so idiotically obvious... or that the Hyena Dogz are dumb enough to fall for it. This battle will try our sanity... I can see it now...
Nice chapter... but... I am going to be 100% honest here, sorry if I sound rude BTW.
I didn't liked that Lucy had such a similar personality to Sev's. Now, I haven't seen the TV series' vercion, nor the games for that matter, but having such similar personalities seems too fabricated. Specially with the part Sev mentioned latter on.
Sorry, that is what I think.
Besides that, I liked this chapter, specially the last part.
Priceless!
That is without a doubt the second most devious and perfect scheme I've ever heard of! It would be the first, but there's a small flaw in the plan: when have traveling window salesmen EVER worn top hats?! Clearly he should have gone with fedoras, or homburgs, or tyroleans or something.
Yeah, i face-palmed too.
5824959 Actually no. Lucy's personality actually is more like Trixies. In the games, she extremely full of herself, talking all high and mighty and pretty much screams in anger at you when you beat her. Yes, she's much more mellow in the anime, but I decided to choose her game design for this instance.
5825989 Sounds more logical that way, but I still think two egomaniac characters clash with oneanother, but still, you are a good writer, so I am sure you can handle this properly.
And again, sorry if I sound roude.
Any one else think Miss Note had Stockholm Syndrome?
Oh no there's two of them.
Oh dear Arceus, Sev thought she was sexy as a human.
Oh God, please don't let them reproduce, two is taking it too far as it is.
5834734 Too late. Baby seviper is here.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/239/8/9/seviper_by_kaitlynclinkscales-d2xfl18.jpg
5825989 sev the joke is window wiper in a german accent with v instead of w who hears of window sales men silly vindow viper seviper
Wait for it.... THE LOLS!
5828730 Why whatever would make you think that
5865050 *let sigh* was that sarcasm?
5865099 Yes I find it sad that the internet does not have a font or something that allows someone to know if its sarcasam I mean im relying on my choice of words...I MAKE BAD CHOICES!
But as I said before yes it is sarcasm
5824277 I have a feeling that my windows will be broken very shortly, so yes, I need some.
...
I can answer this one! Because even stupids have use as comic relief