This account makes me feel dead inside
Going Under Lots Of Changes! Warning!
Eris was a Halfing, half pony half something else. She also has a voice in her head sense she was 5 but it wasn't bad back then. She also has almost everything pony, minus the griffon tail and rainbow eyes... Well let's see how this plays out
Author Bit
So, i got a a feeling about Mary Sue Alicorn, shes not mary sue, mary sue (or Gary Stu) means NOTHING can harm them or hurt them, well she can get harmed or hurt manly emotionally though
Page generated in 0.131 seconds
Total duration
900 users online
504,514 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Correct me if I'm wrong, but can't it be Eris' for the title?
This seemed a bit rushed, but it was still really good! Sorry, just got to see if this will work:
:pinkiesmiley:
Sorry, I just really need to work out how to do a smiley face. My iPod doesn't bing up the emoji things, so I can't post them without writing the entire code. I don't know that code, so here is my rubbish attempt at giving you a pinkie smiley face. Consider it a compliment, it took me ages to try and work out how I might do this.
YEAH THIS IS EITHER A TROLLFIC OR WRITTEN BY AN AUTISTIC 12 YEAR OLD GIRL.
Either way, WE MUST ATTACK!
rs1img.memecdn.com/attack_o_454951.jpg
4928409
My army is ready
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/229/0/4/the_great_efnw_pony_army__by_otakusquirrel-d5bgnz6.jpg
4928416
1.bp.blogspot.com/-sePoRDYIED8/To0-EX-8aGI/AAAAAAAAAPM/8B-LJ6zn8NA/s1600/200+million+army.JPG
Mine is gatherering.
4928425
We must find our other King, General Skullcoat
4928430
We must. Attack heavily, I will be behind you. (Gotta wash stuff, brb)
4928434
(Ok.)
There are so many things wrong with this line.
One, Celestia has not, nor will want, to give birth to a foal. She is immortal so that means she will live WAY longer than her own daughter, unless this Mary Sue Alicorn OC foal is immortal as well.
Two:
Don't do that. Just say it's her ancestor.
And three:
Not sure if joking... or just a ridiculous writer.
Dear Dipcord,
This may be hard to believe, but that safe sex spell I used didn't work. Now you're stuck raising the kid. Have Fun!
Sincerely, Celestia "Sunbutt" Eclipse
Way to throw Luna under the bus, Celestia.
Okay, Serious time:
You don't say?
The problem with this is that Tirek (In the show) knew Discord had been Imprisoned in stone. So Discord should have been defeated before Tirek.
+points for grammar.
1576/2538
4928416
4928425
Commander Fowler reporting in with the Western Fleet.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/dc/Grand_Fleet_Assembly_(front).jpg
three words
Didn't Think Thorugh
4928454 I have no idea!
I'm trying to be a little positive here because I know how people feel when they get utter hate comments....
The cover art is rushed and the lineart is quite messy, like it was made using a re-colored base and drawing with the pencil tool in Microsoft paint.
Though I know you are trying hard not to make it a Mary Sue alicorn character, she still is. First of all, she hardly looks anything like discord or celestia, she has weird rainbow eyes, and clashing colors. But hey, this is probably your first Oc, and that's fine. Just needs some improvement.
The grammar and pacing isn't the best either... It looks like you made it up as you went. Which I totally understand, that was basically my first fan fiction, which I deleted long ago.
But just know this is in no way a hate comment, just positive criticism to help you improve on your newer stories.
4928828 I also deleted my first fan fic. Yeah. She does not look like Discord or CelAtsia at all. And I know the difference between hate, troll, and trying to help me approve. Thanks, I well attempt to make the story better
4929147 you like what you like. And that's ok
4929334 thank you. It's easy sometimes.
*Noticed it's in the knights of the something table*
what? Meh, it's light hearted trollness. Ok. Whatever. Also my army is tiny. About a strong ten 
4929323 wanna maybe be friends...?
What the fuck did I just read?
4929323
You can't fix the story to make is decent. The premise can't be fixable.
4931944 i don't know......
4932504 that's your opinion, oh well, I'm not that old, and, no ones 1st story is perfect.
4994171
People's first stories are way better than yours. Yours is the worst possible first story ever.
So I made my way here through curiosity after seeing the writer's comment on a follower of mines' account. So I get here after discovering that apparently there aren't very many nice people on the internet, what a shock. So any way I look through the comments just to get a feel for what everyone is going on about and I find something that I find truly hilarious. Bronies are not only hypocrites of their little creed "love and tolerate" when talking to any and all Non-Bronies (Such as myself) but even when talking to members of their own community.
Now then, Pegasister5, I only skimmed your story, but I got the gist of it. It's not something I'm personally interested in, but then again, being a Non-Brony, not much on this site really does, I do read a lot of fics to try and understand the Bronies, and some fics I've even liked. Now then I think for any future fics that you may write I have a few suggestions: 1. Pacing, you may wish to slow down and elaborate more on the story this one seemed, uh, was rushed. Now this may be completely wrong on my part, seeing many of the stories I've read, but 2. Canon, keep as close to the canon as possible per the story requirements of the fic. Once again, this seems to be quite a bit of a inaccurate thing to say, seeing other fics as an example, but the closer you keep to the canon the more people tend to like it. (Even though it seems most if not all bronies seem to say "Screw the canon, these ponies need sex or violence, blah", seems to me they can't except the fact the object of their attention is a show for young girls and they need some sort of excuse). Finally 3. Characters, try to keep them as in character as possible, once again, not a typical trait of bronies but the better fics tend to be closer to the show than most. Out of Character characters are out of character, that tends to ruin things (even though most bronies once again seem to be searching for some excuse to like the show).
Good luck.
Jerec the Ascendant
4998003 thx for advice, ps it was rushed because it was just the prologue. im going to attempt to pace, thanks for a positive crtism comment! everyone else is just plain rude sometimes
4995673 oh well, some ppl just think one thing, others think another, no response needed
4928236 maybe? Idk
4929365 actually, its no longer light hearted trollness, it full out rude, i hope you "knights"see this comment, though im not sure if the Gaurdian of brittian is part of your ranks but they are not being verynice, if they are, i hope ppl on that group notice this and i hope, try 2 keep it nice if not, plz just lova and tolerance? plz, it brony motto, plzzz
5004149
That was just made up to be a shield for stupid bronies. Like you.
5046087 are you the "great and powerful" trixie, makeing ppl feel bad so you feel almighty? well if thats how u roll, roll somewhere else, im not taking that kind of attitude here, its stupid and you should feel bad about it. see ya, hopefully not here though
5046533
No. God, how I hate her.
I never said anything about 'being almighty'
You are the Guardian, the ruler of many worlds.
G-Go away, Babs. Wrong timing.
5046557 5046557 just stop trashing my story bro, just trying to even make a story a few bronys will like just 1, no trolls, just a story, but hey, Ur gonna do what Ur gonna want to do, just, bug someone else. K, k
5046578
Stop replying to my comments, and learn to accept constructive criticism. Simple as that
5046589
Feeling the helpful criticism here
that's all! 
5053160
There's a lot more CC than just that comment
5054350 'i know, its just that one comment really stung my 'omg just stop bothering me' cord, lets just notnreply after this, k
5054389
You first.
5054933 enope
5071632
You reply, I reply.
5071648
>Forever!!!!!!
5071658
You seriously dont get it, do you?
5074200 no
5145787
No, no you don't
5169976 :D
I don't know if anyone will see this but im working on the next chapter/ first chapter, Eris is finaly free and has some tricks up her sleeve to get what she wants, revenge
5199652
Are you still working on that shit? Give up already.
5200637 im trying to not make it poop (i don't cuss)