Rarijack at the Spa

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Rarijack at the Spa

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An uncomfortable incident threatens the peace and relaxation of Applejack and Rarity's spa day!

I suppose there is mild suggestion here. Nothing cloppy, though.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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pendrake72

pendrake72 #1 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

@rawrmilly...

I suggest adding a bit more, of Applejack quietly, and deeply gratefully, thanking the spa pony sisters for having had Applejack's back (or nethers, in this case) in avoiding embarrassment before Rarity.

Derec mc coy

Derec mc coy #2 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

Well, I have to say that I have never read a rarijack story before. But I like it. It made me laugh out couple of times.
But a question... liquid between aj's legs... Euh... That... You would think that if aj daydreams more, that she would now that this would happen, so she could prevent it...
Anyway. Are you gonna write a sequel to this?

goaway

goaway #3 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

but it seemed greatly more so imperative than that.

Don't really need the "so" in there.

uncomfortable explicating the scenarios

"Explicate" is more about analysing or developing an idea, but from the context of the sentence, it seems more like Applejack is having trouble explaining the scenarios to herself.

And I agree with 4818255: Applejack should thank the spa ponies for saving her flank.

But it was a cute story, and nicely told. Good job!

SirScribe

SirScribe #4 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

This story was cool. I liked it. Keep up the good work

molly wormdirt

molly wormdirt #5 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

4818309 i added in a lil paragraph at the end. :3 after i published it, i thought about how i didn't include that. it was late! my syntax is kind of amateurish at times, i suppose. maybe i need to work on my voice. but i think i did want to use explicate. thank you for all your help and attention!

molly wormdirt

molly wormdirt #6 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

4818259 yeah. it happens, i guess. x3 uhm...i wasn't planning on it. i like doing one-shots, and i'm not actually a fan of this kind of story. it kinda just came out...