Last train to hell! All aboard!

Ermahgawd, foalcon! And insinuation of futa, perchance?

Doesn't matter, it's more horse-words from AP.

(pst, guys, it's a joke. I like AP's writing)

Featured in 3, 2, 1...

more ingress = instant win

warosu.org/data/sci/thumb/0052/89/1353885724682s.jpg

That hot sauce scene!
That is why I always carry a tiny bottle of tabasco habanero on me and always wait for some innocent soul to ask to try it.

That's why I have no friends.

DAMN YOU!!!! You just HAD to post this when it won't be till possibly Monday before I can read this! (pulling my dick out in public is not considered good form, and if any of your past clop fics are any indication... it's either I whip it out... or it will tear through my jeans to get out LMAO!!! )

Seriously though, this looks DAYUM good!

There's never enough foalcon.

4775172 choo choo

4775490 Truer words have never been spoken.

Before I read this I really really hope it's just some vanilla stuff, no futa or weird fetishes :p.
Btw ever thought about Twilight Sparkle Ingress ? I feel like one with her with your style would be awesome

This hits me on a personal level.... my real name is Nick...

There's a lot of repetition of words, which shouldn't have to happen. I saw it a lot in older fics of this kind as well, it gets sort of distracting.

4775176 You have no idea how much I hate futa. And the retarded way fimiction worships it has just cemented the fact that I will never, ever write it.

There's all the proof you need that I don't write for popularity. Because if I did I'd just write Maud pie and futa and watch my follower count tick upwards.

4775450 Twoop

4775172
Not just any hell...
i.imgur.com/tjAeVwd.gif

This story obviously contains foalcon!.

You don't say? Also, period after the exclamation point. Smite the tiny error, smite it with vengeance!

Come into my comment section bitching about foalcon and be met with a swift block.

What about if the bitching is related to said foalcon but not specifically because of the foalcon? Such as the writing mechanics being off? The characters being flat? Or, like, anything else? If not, blocks ahoy!

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4776380 If they actually took the time to read the fic enough to say that the characters were flat or my grammar is off or my word repetition is getting a bit crazy (it really fucking is ) then I wouldn't have a problem.

It's the baseless 'EW THERE'S FOALCON IN THE FEATURE BOX YOU'RE ALL PEDOPHILES!' comments that earn the block.

4776195
Did it once. On a whim. Results were... awkward? Anywho, I already know you don't write for popularity. Been following you for quite a few years now, my friend. : ) Also, I saw that jab, I saw that fic and was like 'wtf is this shit!' It just goes to prove that the feature box doesn't really mean anything nowadays.

4776420
Well, that'd probably earn you a wide field of people to block if fimfic standards are to be correct. Although I don't see much of the practicality of it, since that seems like a waste of time in the end. People will always complain, and once in a while those complaints are sprinkled with constructive criticism past all the "bitching" as you put it. Plus, you're kinda preventing all those foalcon haters from commenting on your others fics or even your blogs. I dunno, it just seems like a bit of an overreaction, especially since you're putting it specifically in your description in bold. People will always complain, dude, just move past it.

4776467 I know, but!

Refer to my other foalcon stories' comment sections to be utterly amazed by the sheer rampant stupidity.

It's just so ridiculous and unfounded and ugh. It just turns my comment section into a mess.

If they're following me, I generally let it slide. Because that means they probably got a notification, opened the story up, and went all 'LOLWHAT FOALCON?! '

But if they're not following me? They didn't get a notification about the story. They just saw in the feature box and decided to go on a comment-section crusade. And it's that kind of blithering idiot that I really can't stand.

4776525
Hmmm, yeah, I can understand that. Wouldn't be the first time I've seen stupidity in the comment section. For myself personally I just either ignore it or tell them to quiet it down, but hey, you have your ways and I have mine. I just think blocking might be a bit too extreme since you're wiping away most of your critics, but hey, it's your story, so have fun with it.

4776557 That's the thing. They criticize not my ability to write, but the subject matter itself.

That's like going up to Da Vinci and saying 'you should draw goats instead of people'. Or, more appropriately, 'Humans are disgusting and you shouldn't paint them.'

Of course, I'm not comparing myself to Da Vinci. I'm writing mediocre stories about underage pastel-coloured horses, for fuck's sake. But the argument I'm getting across here is that there is no criticism. I never, ever block people for criticism. I block people for 'you write foalcon and I don't like it so you should stop!' or 'you're digusting and a pedophile for writing this!'.

If they actually try to understand it, ask questions about it, or in any way give a platform for arguments that isn't 'STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE', then I let them go.

But to call what these people do 'criticism'? The only thing they're 'criticizing' is my choice of subject matter. And those sorts of people? I have no qualms and lose not a second's comfort in never having to be bothered with their comments again.

4776586

Or, they have a massive problem with something that makes the fandom as a whole look like a bunch of creepy child molesters.

I'm just gonna save this for later

4776646 Yes, and making passive-aggressive, or even outright aggressive comments on said stories really furthers their cause.

4776586
The issue I'd take with this particular story has nothing to do with the foalcon in it. The "story" aspects (i.e Scootaloo expositing her issue with the potion) serve the sex scene instead of the other way around. Instead of sex between two characters building upon a meaningful, established relationship it just feels quick & fast & cheap--there really doesn't even need to be any story if all you want to do is write a sex scene for the sake of a sex scene. The context of the potion and such doesn't even make it all that much hotter--not any more than having it be longer, more passionate, etc would do.

When you say "I'd like people to criticize my writing" it kind of strikes me as odd because reading this story pretty much screams "this is a shameless clopfic" to me. There's nothing wrong with that, but there's also nothing to criticize there. The characters haven't gone through anything together or even really gotten romantically involved at all--they're literally just horny, so they're fucking.

Like I said, that's fine. There's an audience for that (sometimes I am part of that audience) and there's nothing wrong with just writing a story for the sex.

But asking for "criticism" on your sex scenes is moot because sex scenes are pretty much an entirely subjective matter. Either you think it's hot or you don't, and when you make it hotter for one person by including some position or way that a character reacts to it or emphasize a certain detail you're almost certainly going to make it worse for someone else who is not into all those things.

4776737 Firstly: There's a whole lot more to writing than just the setting and how characters get from point A, to point B. There are a million and one criticisms you can make regarding the technical aspects of how something is written without even going into the 'plot'.

And secondly, the first chapter was just a set-up for the second chapter. Which is why this is now a two-parter.

It will be less lust-crazy and just a shade more intimate.

4775172 Can I sit at the window? I really want to watch the descent. Also, what's on the snack cart? Can I bring my vodka?

4776770

There are a million and one criticisms you can make regarding the technical aspects of how something is written without even going into the 'plot'.

I'm well aware of them. My point is that unless they serve some purpose in a story then you might as well be writing poetry. You can have beautiful tone and sentence structure and diction and be very elegant or efficient in your communication but if you are not saying anything with all those devices they might as well be fat.

In this case, I personally thought the setup that you did have was very bare-bones and served a single purpose: to justify the two characters having sex. I personally would love to see some more seriously well written clop on this site... But I think the biggest part of seeing that expectation realized, for me, is to have a tense and well realized story, having the story either feed into the sex or the sex feed into the story.

I really don't mean to offend you or belittle either you as an author OR your work. I do respect you. I think you write well. I... just think I want something that maybe you don't?

4776952 Try 'Spooning Silver' for more build up.

The problem I have with foalcon, personally, is that the male human has to be the 'aggressor', and that doesn't sit right with me. I can't write lecherous male human. I just can't. That is disgusting to me. So without said filly being aware of sex, and wanting it, I can't write it. Otherwise it just feels like rape, or human taking advantage of young filly and urgh.

So yeah, that is pretty much just an excuse for them to fuck. Otherwise this story wouldn't exist.

Cliffhanger,...

4776038
Same here, and I'm not sure I have a problem with it.

Please use another words other than cunt Jesus christ. Any other word

4777312 No.

You'll also notice I use the words 'cunny' and 'pussy', too. Several times.

If I start throwing around words like 'vagina' and 'vulva' it ruins the established 'voice' of the story.

4776952 I was about to recommend "The Ones Forgotten" because of your comment but then I saw your name and I was like "oh shit never mind you're the author". Good work btw

Yeah so, while over here making other stories. I'm still waiting on THE OTHER UNFINISHED STORIES. YOU PIECE OF SHIT

4777427 I really hope you're just really bad at sarcasm.

4776195 You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that! Futa is way too overrated, and I personally find it pretty strange. "Hey! I have a dick growing out of my clit! Let's fuck!" Pretty much what futa is. Why not just use rule 63 instead?

4777597 That's what I'm saying! I've written gay clop before. And most of the gay stories are pretty much ignored by the majority.

But holy hell, slap a dick on a chick and let's get you to the feature box right away!

4777328 Well the words I personally find sexy are "slit", "folds", "dripping hole", "marehood", "vagina", "cunny", "wet do dang", and "the dripping grand canyon"

4777618 Well, I find anything to do with buttsex kind of a turn off. And a lot of futa stories have butt sex. As well as every single gay story, so you might see my views on those. I don't mind who loves who, I just don't like reading or hearing about butt sex. When it comes up in a story I just skip to the vanilla sex part or skip the story entirely if the whole thing is butt sex galore.

If they don't know by now, then they need there head examined. Read it later!

4776195
I remember back in the day when Futa and Herm were two different things. Now most people think they're one in the same. I'm not crazy! There's a difference!

4777720 Futa has cock.

Herm has cock and pussy.

I'm a furry. I know all sorts of shit!

Nick plopped down on the couch next to Scootaloo, who was wrapped up in a blanket and reading a book. It was a nivel he had brought with him from Earth, and one that Scootaloo had begged him multiple times to find the sequels to. It had to be her third run through that particular book.

I think you meant to say novel.

Oh and I can't wait for the next chapter.

4777733 4777720
From what I've gathered about the grand ol' internet, futa is a gal with a penis but no balls, while a herm has both genders sexual equipment, balls included... Right?

4778007 Well, actually. Herm and futa are derivatives of words that mean having both cock and pussy.

Hermaphrodite is the 'clinical' term for someone with both genders. Futa is the short form of 'futanari', a Japanese word that means 'dual form'. As in, having both a cock and pussy.

But, popular culture has that 'herm' means someone with both genitals, and 'futa' means a chick with a dick. Balls optional.

How many people so far have complained blatantly for no reason except to be contrary? I'm sorely tempted to do so, I can assure you. Especially since the feature box cuts off your description at "Come into my comment section bitching about." I want to follow that instruction, I really do.