My Little Poke': Friendship's in Battles

by shamalamb218

Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Before reading this chapter, please read the description so you'll have more background knowledge. Also, a heads-up, these ' whenever you see them, it just means the character is talking in their head. I'm saying their, because I'm most likely gonna use the same method for all the other characters. Other than that, I hope you enjoy, and make sure to check out my Proofreader/Editor, Maromar, and he also has a fic, so check that out too!

'Ugh. What kind of Ponyta were they? Are they from a different region and some trainers just freed them in Unova? No, that can't be it. Before I blacked out I saw a bit of the area. It was definitely too bright to be outside Driftveil. Too bright to be anywhere in Unova. Where in Arceus' world did that portal send me?'

Something poked me. "Hello? Are you alright?" said a fairly concerned female voice. Though I don't recognize her voice.

"I hope she's okay. She's been passed out for quite awhile now" Said the same female voice

"Ooh! Twilight! She seems new around here! We should have a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party for her!" I heard a high pitched voice say. 'I guess the voice I've been hearing the most is Twilght's. Wonder what the name is of the high pitched voice.'

"Pinkie Pie! This isn't the time to think about welcoming parties! I don't even know how you found out I had somepony here!" Said Twilight. 'Okay, Twilight isn't really that strange of a name, but really?! Who in the entire Poke'verse names there kid Pinkie Pie?! On a second note, I've never heard of a 'Ponyville' in my life. This must be a different region.'

Then I heard Twilight say this, "I'm sorry Pinkie. It's just a bit frustrating you thinking about parties when somepony's unconscience" 'I guess Twilight and Pinkie Pie are friends, but somepony? Must be fans of Ponyta and Rapidash. Mabye I should wake up so they don't get too worried and there isn't as much tension in the room.'

"Ugh" I opened my eyes. I was a lot more sore then I thought I would be.

'I must still be dreaming or something, 'cause there is no way that a pink Ponyta and a purple Rapidash can talk.'

"Pinkie! She's awake! Said the purple Rapidash. 'She sounded a lot like the person called Twilight, so that must be her, and the pink Ponyta must be Pinkie Pie. It's pretty obvious that the Ponyta's Pinkie Pie, 'cause she's, I don't know, ALL PINK! Who ever named her was SO not creative. But even though I'm thinking that, I'm actually scared beyond belief.'

"W-What do you want from me! G-Get away! Ponyta and Rapidash aren't supposed to be able to talk!" I said. But they looked completely confused, so I calmed down, but kept my guard up.

"What are Ponyta and Rapidash?" asked Pinkie in a very confused way

"Yea, what are Ponyta and Rapidash?" Twilight frowned and cocked her head to the side like a confused Arcanine; "I've read through a fair share of animal compendiums, but I've never come across those names"

"I'm not in Unova anymore am I?" I said worried

"Sorry, but I've never heard of Unova before. This town is Ponyville, and the country is called Equestria" Replied Twilight

Comments

[shamalamb218]

Please leave feedback! I'd love to know what you'd like to see in the story and feel free to make requests!

[shamalamb218]

I'm just curious about this so, here it goes. Why all the hate? If you're gonna dislike the fanfic, can you please comment on why you didn't like it so far? It would help me and my proofreader/editor improve the fic so you can enjoy it.

Shamalamb218~

P.S. For all reading this, I've had writers block and personal stuff going on, but do not fret, I am working on the 3rd chapter right now (AKA I'm working on most of it )

[Diamond dust]

You might want to ask your Editor to check the chapters again because there's still some spelling errors
about the dislikes it could be for a lot of reasons....for example those who doesn't like Pokemons crossover , or because of the spelling errors
also i didn't quite unterstood something in the description. The main Character "Yukama Jace" is one of your OCs right ? because if your readers feels like the fic is going to be a self-insert......well the result won't be pretty.

If i can give you an advice , i'd like to talk about the "heads-up ( '..........' ) " that you talked about in the Author's note .
Keep in mind that your readers are supposed to know exactly what's going on when they read a sentence , they must be able to recognize who's talking or who's thinking what , without you saying : so i'm gonna use that when a character is thinking .
So it would be better in this case to use Italics for example i'm thinking : i'm giving you an advice here
and that's all , i'm sorry if i've been mean or harsh with you

[Eyvind]

After reading the first chapter, I can understand why some people dislike this. While there are very few grammatical errors, the writing and word choice feel off. Here's an example:

"W-What do you want from me! G-Get away! Ponyta and Rapidash aren't supposed to be able to talk!" I said. But they looked completely confused, so I calmed down, but kept my guard up.

The main character got over the fact that they were talking to ponies very quickly. And they got over it because the ponies looked confused, which is odd. Your writing feels like this the whole time as well, making it difficult to stay engaged in the story.

These were just my first impressions. The more you write, the more comfortable your writing will be, so don't stop just because some people don't like it. There will always be someone waiting for another chapter.

[Pfudorappuls]

The thing i dont like about this is the chapters are way too short if you make a longer chapter then i will be happyer