At the mention of my family, my blood runs cold. I try to sink into the pillow, away from the expectant gaze of the nurse. Almost immediately, concern flashes across her eyes, and she turns to Rainbow Dash. "Miss Dash, could you please step outside for a moment?"
"Nuh uh, I'm—"
The nurse glares at Rainbow Dash. "This is a private conversation, Miss Dash, and you will respect physician–patient privilege. Is that clear?"
Rainbow Dash seems to shrink a whole two inches under the nurse's glare and slinks outside.
The nurse looks back to me with a small smile. "It's okay," she says in a soft voice, "nothing will leave this room without your permission. We need to let somepony know, but we don't have to contact your parents. Is there somepony else you'd like to talk to? A sibling, or an uncle, perhaps?"
I avoid her gaze. "Can't you just... tell a few of my close friends, instead?"
"I'm sorry if there's been a... problem, Mister Glider, but we need at least one close relative as your next of kin." She delicately places a hoof on my withers. "If you like, we can omit any details you want to speak to them privately about. Would that make you feel better?"
Her answer is a tiny nod from me, and I breathe in and out, wincing slightly. If only Uncle Gem Clover was still alive... I could tell my cousins, but, ugh, they aren't much better. I let out a groan. "Can you just... tell them it's because of... an injury? Without mentioning my wings?"
"Certainly," says the nurse, scribbling some things down on her clipboard.
"In that case, tell... Tell Madame Belle her son is in the hospital."
The nurse frowns. "Belle Ball? Head of Belle house in Canterlot?"
I nod silently.
"But they don't have a s—" Her eyes widen, and she looks back at me with her mouth hanging open.
My withers do their best impression of a shrug. "They weren't too enthusiastic about a pegasus colt."
The nurse stares at me for a fraction of a second longer before clearing her throat and attempting to salvage what was left of her professionalism. "Well, um, I'll be sure to inform Miss Belle of the situation." Her pencil scritches across the clipboard. "If there's, uh, a problem, we can tell her you aren't taking visitors."
I sigh. "I'll give her one chance. One."
The nurse nods sympathetically. "I'll be sure to warn you in advance." She makes a few more notes on the clipboard, checks a few monitors, takes my pulse, and finally lets Rainbow Dash back in.
"Hey there, champ." Rainbow Dash wastes no time in zipping up next to my bed. "How're you doing?"
"Mostly the same as I was doing five minutes earlier." I let my head fall to the side, the soft, feathery pillow enveloping me in a fluffy embrace.
A snort disturbs my attempt to travel to the world of pillows. "Five minutes earlier I had to snap you out of some sort of storytelling coma."
"Good point," I concede, then lapse into an awkward silence.
"Sooooo..." Rainbow Dash begins, "what are you in the mood to do? Want to take a break from memory surfing?"
I groan incoherently. "I dunno... I guess I am a little hungry." My stomach growls in protest. "Okay, a lot hungry. I don't suppose I'm allowed to eat solid food yet?"
Rainbow Dash pats my good foreleg. "I'll go check, be back soon!" And with that, she’s gone.
Left to my own devices, my eyes wander towards the window. I can see bits and pieces of buildings, far away. It looks like I'm fairly high up, certainly at least on the tenth floor. A shadow blinks across the window, momentarily blotting out the light filtering through it. A bird, flying in front of the sun, or perhaps a fellow pegasus soaring through the air, free from the demands of the ground beneath him?
My eyes are tearing up again. I silently curse myself, not wanting to garner the pity of Rainbow Dash, but upon reflection, I have every reason to cry. A dark hole lives in my heart now, a piece of me lost forever. Never again would I be able to escape the material world, forever banished from the wonderful emptiness of the sky above.
A life, shattered.
"Hey, Prism!" Rainbow Dash's enthusiastic voice punches through my introspection. "So, I've got good news and ba—oh man, did something happen? Are you okay?"
My attempt to blink away my tears has evidently failed, as Rainbow Dash sets a tray on the counter and immediately goes to fetch more tissues. I whimper, ashamed of my weakness, as she once again dabs away my tears.
"It's alright, dude," she whispers, "you can cry as much as you need to, kay?" She turns her gaze towards the window. "I'd be crying too."
Something inside me breaks. A waterfall of grief washes over me, and suddenly I'm sobbing against the pillow. Rainbow Dash says nothing, simply wrapping her hooves around me, and I cry all the harder. The full, unmitigated reality of my life is open before me, and all I can see is an unforgiving plain of bleakness, devoid of hope.
Rainbow Dash stays with me the entire time, holding me as best she can in a warm embrace, softly cooing and nuzzling my mane. Even as my sadness drains me of tears, I get the feeling that Rainbow Dash doesn't show this kind of compassion for anypony except her closest, most treasured companions. She certainly didn't seem the type to get all sappy unless dire circumstances were involved.
For whatever reason, this realization lights a spark of hope within me. A hope that, perhaps even after losing my most beloved asset, I had found something to replace it with. Slowly, my sobbing subsides, and I nuzzle her back, grateful for the quiet moment. A moment wherein I can simply lay my head against hers and have my tears dried.
Then I remember that she, supposedly, did this to me, and I am stricken with conflict. I desperately want to hang on to this tiny spot of hope, but at the same time, I am wary of the mare for whom it is for. Do I treasure companionship over my ability to fly? What is important to me? Has it changed, now that my old life has been forever destroyed? Must I start anew?
Eventually, I come to the conclusion that I can decide whether or not to hate her some other time. My desire for companionship trumps the doubts lingering in the back of my mind, at least for now. I don't know what happened on the fateful day that I lost my wings. I don't know how Rainbow Dash was involved, or why she blames herself for what happened. For now, this truce will have to do.
I look up at Rainbow Dash. "So, uh, did you have something for me?"
"Wha...?" She seems momentarily disoriented. "Oh, yeah! Um, the nurse said you can't have any solid foods yet, but they gave me this really tasty-looking banana-kiwi smoothie, and a bowl of strawberry jello." She extends the legs on the tray and gingerly sets it on the bed, over my stomach. "Um, the milkshake has a straw, but the jello might be a bit tricky..."
It turns out that eating without using your wings to grab things is quite challenging. I'm not entirely sure how earth ponies manage it—then again, most earth ponies probably aren't incapacitated while lying on a hospital bed, either. Still, I manage to drink the smoothie using a comically long straw without too much difficulty. The cool drink is like liquid heaven flowing down my throat, and I slurp it happily.
"So, where did you grow up?" I ask, looking to give her something to talk about while I drink this delicious smoothie.
Rainbow Dash pulls up a pillow by the side of the bed and sits down. "Well, I grew up in Cloudsdale, like you'd expect. Went to elementary school, then raced a couple of bullies and went so fast I caused a Sonic Rainboom." She smirks. "You know, normal stuff."
"I suppose you were a shoo-in for Flight Academy, then."
Her ears droop, and she averts her gaze. "I was... actually... kind of kicked out of Flight School. I never even got a chance at Flight Academy."
I almost do a spit take with my banana smoothie, but instead manage to send myself into a coughing fit. "Kicked out? Why?! You're the best flyer I've ever seen!"
Sighing, Rainbow Dash leans her head on the small banister surrounding the bed. "After I pulled off the Sonic Rainboom, the teachers didn't like me very much. Instead of going to class, I'd be outside napping on a cloud. Instead of doing homework, I'd be practicing tricks and playing with my friends. But when the tests came around, I always passed them with flying colors, so they couldn't throw me out.
"I became obsessed with the Wonderbolts, and every night I dreamed of becoming the youngest Wonderbolt in history. In my enthusiasm, I started a stunt club at school. It was perfectly safe, and I always kept an eye on all the other pegasi and taught them proper safety procedures. Then a colt got a little overexcited about the whole thing, and did something really stupid.
"Deciding that our weekly meetups in the playground weren't enough, he attempted to do a Sonic Rainboom himself and wasn't looking where he was going. Smashed straight into another pegasus. Both of them were in serious condition for a few weeks. It had nothing to do with my stunt club, but his parents wanted to blame somepony, and my teachers were all too happy to throw me under the bus." She ends her recollection with her ears folded back and a bitter grimace on her face.
"Jeez, that sucks. What did you do? What did your parents think?"
An amused snort comes out of the cyan pegasus. "My parents are great. They're also kind of... loaded. They said it wasn't my fault and that flight school wasn't really for a mare like myself anyway. They hired a tutor to homeschool me and would take me to a huge park outside Cloudsdale to practice stunts all day. My father said he didn't care what I wanted to do when I graduated, he'd always be there for me, no matter what."
Her words are like a needle driven into my heart. Rainbow Dash must have noticed my slight frown. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. Are your parents...?"
The question was unspoken, but given what she'd heard before the nurse kicked her out, I already know what she’s asking. "Unfortunately, my parents are alive and well."
She scrunches up her muzzle. "Unfortunately?"
I sigh. "My parents were... less than supportive. Honestly, I think they wish I'd never been born. Not as a pegasus, anyway." I glare at the smoothie sitting in front of me, suddenly feeling angry. "They're just a bunch of stuck up Canterlot nobles who're only useful for whining about everything. They wanted a proper little unicorn stallion who could prance around like a bitch and go to all their stupid parties and take over the family business." I snort in annoyance. "Instead, they got me. Their ‘annoying little daredevil’, they liked to call me. Embarrassed by living proof they weren't purebloods, they kept my existence under wraps, until one day I declared I was going to be a Wonderbolt, and they disowned me entirely."
Now it was Rainbow Dash's turn to gape at me. "Seriously? Jeez dude, your parents are awful. No offense."
Taking another sip of the banana smoothie, I continue. "So, yeah, I moved out of Canterlot, got a job at the weather factory in Cloudsdale, and practiced my stunt flying all day long." The thought of flying makes my ears droop again. "Guess I won't be doing that ever again, huh?"
I look up to see that Rainbow Dash has tears in her eyes again. "S-shit dude, I'm s-so sorry. Celestia, now I feel even worse about this."
Part of me wants to reassure her, but I stay silent. My life is kind of completely ruined forever now. Neither of us speaks for a while, but eventually I get sick of all the silence. I used to like the silence, back when I filled it with dreams of flying in the Wonderbolts. Now it is only filled with sadness. "So, what'd you do instead of going to Flight Academy?"
Rainbow Dash's ears perk up, and she lifts her head. "Well, my parents were willing to let me mooch off them forever, but I wanted to be my own mare. Unfortunately, it was Cloudsdale, all the jobs were taken by pegasi with degrees from the academy and stuff. My dad offered to give me a job where he worked, but... that would have ruined the whole point. So, once I took the test and got my general education degree, I got a job as a weatherpony in Ponyville. Now, normally a weather team probably wouldn't have taken a homeschooled pegasus, but Ponyville was an earth pony town, and they could barely find enough pegasi to fill the team! I gotta wonder what they did before they had a weather team. It's so close to the Everfree forest, y'know? Imagine if they just had to let the weather do whatever it wanted!"
The various egregious sucking noises produced by my attempt to finish off the banana smoothie momentarily halt. "You're eating my jello," I casually point out.
"Wha— Fuck!" While she was talking, Rainbow Dash had absent mindedly picked up a spoon and had gotten through half the jello. Sputtering and apologizing, she starts trying to salvage the rest of it as I laugh hard enough to send needles of pain through my chest.
Waving a hoof, I try to catch my breath. "Girl, don't worry about it, I don't give a crap about the jello. Go ahead and finish it."
"But—"
I gesture at the wibbly-wobbly dessert in front of me. "It's jello."
"Guh, fine," she said, reluctantly returning to nibble on the jello again. "So, as I was saying, I got a job on the Ponyville weather team, but I didn't have anywhere to live. So, uh, my dad got me a... birthday present."
Rainbow Dash pauses, as if expecting the inevitable rhetorical question. "...Birthday present?"
"He bought me a house," she blurts out, and then immediately turns away, hiding behind her wing, blushing furiously. "It's huge, I don't even know what to do with all the rooms."
I raised an eyebrow in the most incredulous expression I could manage while covered in bandages. "Your Dad bought you a house for your birthday? Are you a princess or something?" I pause. "Then again, I'm the unwanted foal of two Canterlot nobles... Does that make me the long lost prince of Belle house?"
Rainbow Dash giggled. "Well, you can be my prince."
I stare at her for a full five seconds before she realizes what she said. She runs out of the room in embarrassment, with my hysterical laughter hot on her hooves.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't normally say things like that.
... Ah, what the hell? If the need of prereaders/editors is still there, then I'll happily do that.
You? Need an editor? Honestly, the quality seems high enough for my eyes.
I'll volunteer to preread for ya, though, just to try to catch anything glaring, but I'm afraid as an editor I wouldn't be able to offer much improvement over what you've been producing already.
5033138
You always need an editor. I can be an editor myself, but you need someone else to look over what you've written because otherwise you'll miss things simply because you were the one writing it. Like that you're I missed in the last chapter that four people told me about before I was able to fix it. That's why you have editors.
Prereaders, on the other hand, are there to tell you if you've lost your goddamn marbles so you don't permanently screw up your story.
I could volunteer for Pre-Reading, good Author.
I haven't seen a story like this before. I am enjoying it immensely.
If you are still seeking a pre-reader, I could offer my services. I can also find and point out grammar/spelling errors or what have you, if you'd like.
5033160 Fair enough. I mostly meant it as a compliment to the quality you've produced so far, and that it wasn't glaringly obvious to me that you didn't have anyone looking this over already, due to the story always reading smoothly enough to my eyes.
Either way, if the need is still there (and I'm sure you'll be getting lots of offers due to the popularity of this story) I'll still offer what support I can, whether that's checking grammar/syntax or if you've "lost your marbles".
5033201
I like having lots of prereaders, because then I can shotgun-PM everyone, and as soon as two or three people who happen to be up at the insane hour I'm posting it respond back I can post it. I'll probably just fire the story off to everyone who leaves a comment saying they want to.
I'm lovin it so far.
As for editing, I'm already doing a lot of editing for other writers. I'd love to, but I just don't have the time. And it's hard for me to be a pre-reader and not want to mention all the grammar and phrasing I find.
Your story is doing wonderfully as it is anyway.
Just a small note though. Jell-o is a brand name, just like Kleenex. Spell it 'jello' without capitalizing or the hyphen to make it look normal and keep it from breaking the suspension of disbelief.
That is all. Can't wait for more!
I really enjoy your writing style, when you write about the shitty things that have happened, it's not dark, it's just sort of cold and somber, not overly dramatic. Then you switch to the lighter side, and it's a nice subdued sort of happiness, the injuries weren't forgotten during the conversation, he was just distracted thinking about his shitty parents and talking to Rainbow.
I look forward to the next chapter, and whatever other works you have planned.
5033241
I have gotten feedback from both ends on this. The problem is that "jello" isn't technically a word according to some people and is only recognized in the united states because of "Jell-o" itself. So there's a giant edit war over whether it should be "jello" or "Jell-o".
Since this is pony I'll lean towards jello since Jell-o probably doesn't exist in equestria.
If you need an extra set of eyes for pre-reading just send me a PM!
5033284
Exactly. Seeing human stuff in the pony world doesn't exactly work out in maintaining suspension of disbelief. If you really want to get technical, you could call it gelatin.
You know if there aren't already too many prereaders for you, I'll gladly help, but I'm new here, and don't know how fimfiction works, so I don't know how contacting me will work...
This doesn't need editing, your doing just fine,
Keep it up.
5033384
But of course, if I call it the technically correct word of "gelatin", then nobody knows what I'm talking about
I'm not very good at editing, but I could be a prereader if you'd like.
5033436 Yes we do!
... Ground up horse's hooves.
Is Twilight the only NICE Canterlot unicorn?
5033436
I would know either way but yeah. I honestly only learned it was actually called geletin a couple months ago. All these years and I thought it was Jello and Jell-o was named after it.
I really want a conversation where prism is talking with an earth pony and the earth pony is giving him shit about how he's not handicapped, just normal, prism gets angry and compares it to an earth pony not having legs or strength. The pony replies by saying he doesn't get it, and that at least he had wings. Earth ponies don't have anything. He never had to spend a childhood watching pegasi fly and unicorns doing magic and knowing that they could never, ever be like them, and would be left with nothing.
If you need any help, I'd gladly help with editing or pre-reading! Though its already rather well written.
5033751
I have considered something like that. What he's not thinking about is that someone being blind from birth doesn't know what they're missing and they can be perfectly happy. Someone who goes blind when they're 20 is going to be utterly devastated. Furthermore, he's a pegasus. Literally the only thing that makes pegasi pegasi is that they can fly. An earth pony can't fly, but they can do other things. A unicorn can't fly, but they can do magic. A pegasus that can't fly is useless.
This leads in to another scene that will happen later on.
5033809 godammit now I'm all exited.
And you're right I was debating wether to remove the comment or not but you responded to it.
Pegasi can still do stuff, I suppose, just very limited stuff.
Anyway, do continue!
5033870
Unfortunately I can tell you right now it will be at least 5 chapters until this happens. Probably more.
I could edit if you still need someone, most of the authors I usually edit for aren't too active.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130929012138/undeadfanstories/images/6/69/I-volunteer-as-tribute.gif
I can do either editing or pre-reading, whichever you prefer
As for the story, a very interesting take on Rainbow's past. It does answer a bunch of questions the show never cared to explore.
An editor is free right here! Also pre reading cuz this is an amazing story I luv it!
Quick! Someone less sleep-deprived than me write "Fresh Air-Prince of Belle" lyrics!
DA FEELS
why does the list of things that happen to him remind me of a story about fighting climaxing and splittering bones to fine dust... WHAT... i sometimes just want to think of all the fetishes there are now i feel kinda sick :( WHERE'S the Bucket
clickeric.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/heavy-duty-stainless-steel-bucket1.jpg
I would love to edit/pre-read but I'm not on fimfic on a reliable weekly schedule, so I wouldn't be the most efficient of people for the job. Will continue to read though, this story is fantastic
5033436
Lol, yeah. Hence, 'jello' is my prefered usage, at least in writing for others to read. :P
5033893 ffffffffffffffffffffffock.
Ah, well.
I doubt I'd be much good as an editor, given how any stories I've attempted here or elsewhere seem to hit permanent hiatus, but I would definitely be up for some prereading, especially given the turn this story is beginning to take with Prism and Rainbow...and wow, it took me this long to get that connection.
5033609 Fancy Pants was pretty cool.
could I be a pre-reader? it sounds fun to me, and I would really love to do it.
5035897
NO!
Yeah, sure
Maybe he'll accidentally invent a jet engine and strap it to his back somehow. Or somehow get robo wings. Also, can he still sit on clouds, because some headcanon says you need wings for that.
5036014 yay!
I would be more than happy to edit. I am not the best at grammar, but my spelling and simple grammar (use Rainbow and me or Rainbow and I) is good.
I can do either editing or proofreading, if you still need it.
Hearing Rainbow Dash swear is kind of jarring...
like what i see
5036928
There's one part coming up where Rainbow Dash simply yells "FUCK!" for an entire paragraph. There is an entirely valid reason for doing it.
This is getting better and better. Your writing style is improving and is very engaging. Really enjoying it. I will offer one criticism and support the earlier comment that the swearing is jarring. To each their own head cannon, though. I know you are going for a realistic gritty feel, but be wary of getting into the lazy writer's trap of thinking just because they swear they are real and gritty characters. I'm finding the characters you are portraying are pretty good, and have a real and solid feel to them. Again, I'm really enjoying this.
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
5038095
I'm getting frustrated by this. I am not making these characters swear every other paragraph. The reason it's jarring is because they're doing it at specific points. Prism glider swears when he's talking to the fastest pegasus he'd ever seen in his life. He swears again when he's angry about his parents. Rainbow Dash swears because she just realized how much she screwed up, and then she swears when she's having an overreaction to accidentally eating his jello. When they get angry or upset, they start swearing. Like, y'know, normal people.
I'm going to censor Rainbow Dash's swearing when she realizes what she did because that's probably what people are complaining about. I'm not going to censor anything else.I actually didn't fully censor that and swapped a few other words around instead to try and reduce the curse word density.
Seriously though, we haven't even found out what happened to Prism yet. I can tell you right now it's going to involve a lot of swearing.
5038211 I wasn't trying to be a pain about it. Just share my thoughts. You're right. Some people do swear more often even in normal conversation, let alone justifiably in the tragic situation you characters are in.
On one hand, your characters are behaving realistically, in regard to swearing. I wasn't saying you are doing lazy writing, I was just saying be aware of it.
Sorry if I offended you.
On the other hand.....all of my favorite literature contains almost no language. Why? Not fully sure. Gimli swearing in Lord of the Rings would have been totally realistic, and yet also unneeded, and uneccisarily coarse. Ditto for a lot of other famous books. It's not that swearing would have been unrealistic. I guess, on a social street level, most people don't have a problem is swearing. I personally do, but I didn't want to come and say "hey! Don't use language! It offends me!" As this is your story. Written your way. On the other hand, if your story had no swearing, I feel it wouldn't loose anything. I'm not telling you to change, or even asking you to do so for my sake.