~~~ Ch. I - Six Words ~~~
~~~ By Tail Spinner, Spinner of Tales ~~~
“Rainbow, I'm in love with you.”
“She doesn’t love you.”
“Rainbow, I think I love you.”
“She’ll never love you.”
“Rainbow, I really, really like you.”
“She won’t even like you. She’ll hate you forever.”
Applejack let out a long, drawn-out sigh, and looked into the mirror with wide, sad, exhausted eyes. Salty tears built in force, barely hidden for now, though they threatened to fall loose at the slightest provocation. “You know I'm right, don't ya. It don't take a Fetlock Holmes to see that she don't like ya in that way. You'd throw everything away."With a gulp, she tore her gaze from its spectral double. Sobbing quietly, she trotted into her bedroom, collapsed onto her bed and buried her muzzle in her hooves. She sniffled. “I’ve loved her for so long. Why? Why do I keep hurting myself like this? Why do I keep going after her like this, when she could never, ever love me back?”
She wiped her eyes, though it did not stem the tide of tears falling onto her muzzle. She shook her head, desperately trying to force herself out of her crying spell. Her gaze drifted to a photo on her nightstand, and she picked it up gingerly and held it between her hooves.
It was a picture of her and Rainbow Dash, smiling into the camera. Rainbow’s right foreleg was draped across Applejack’s back in a friendly hug, and Applejack was blushing slightly from the contact. She remembered that day. Sunny, warm, beautiful in all respects.
“Just like Rainbow…”
With another soft sob, tears fell onto the photo’s glass cover. Applejack brought a hoof up and gently traced the contours of Rainbow’s mane and face. “It’s not fair…” She thought bitterly, closing her eyes and biting back a whimper. “It’s not fair that she’s so perfect, so wonderful, and I’m…”
“You’re what, Applejack? Say it.”
“Me,” She lowered her head, allowing herself the whimper she had previously kept at bay. “A mare. Somepony she could never love back. She’s so perfect, so… so lovely, and I’m just me.”
She sat on that thought, and her eyes became completely clouded with salty tears. She openly allowed herself to whimper and cry now. “I’m just me… I love her, but I’m me. I’m a mare, she’s a mare, it could never work. Why couldn’t I be somepony else? A stallion? Anypony who could actually stand a chance?”
“IT’S NOT FAIR!” She screamed suddenly, at the top of her lungs as if trying to drown out the self-doubt and self-loathing at the front of her mind. With a loud cry, she flung the photo against her wall, cringing as she heard the glass shatter into a thousand pieces.
“It’s not fair…” She whispered under her breath, collapsing back down onto her bed. “It’s not fair, it’s not fair…”
There was a quiet knock on her bedroom door, and it opened slowly. “What’s not fair, dearie?”
Applejack immediately recognized her grandmother’s tone. She had come to offer her help. As if she could help the pony with this. No, Granny Smith would more than likely kick her out of her home if she told her. Granny Smith was a traditional pony, she had expressed her views many times in front of the farm mare, each time causing her to cringe inside.
“It’s nothing, Granny. I'm fine.”
The door opened the rest of the way, and the elder pony invited herself into the room. “It doesn’t sound like nothing,
sweetie. Why don’t you talk to me?”
Applejack shook her head, sniffling. “Y’all wouldn’t understand even if I did tell ya.”
“I could try.”
“Yeah, you could try…” The mare looked at her grandmother quickly before lowering her gaze to the floor. “But ya still wouldn’t understand it. Ah know you, Granny.”
Granny Smith frowned slightly before approaching her granddaughter, sitting next to her on the bed and resting a hoof on the farm mare’ back. “All right,” She said, rubbing Applejack’s back, trying to console her. “Maybe I won’t understand. But I’ll still listen to anything you need to say, sweetie. No judgement, no nothing.”
Applejack held her breath for a moment before tentatively looking up at her grandmother. “Ya… ya promise?”
“Of course, dear. That’s what grandmothers are for, after all.”
“Well…” The mare thought for a minute. Could she really tell Granny Smith about Rainbow? Should she leave out some details, like the fact that she was in love with another mare? That she was a fillyfooler?
The elder pony looked at her expectantly.
“I'm…” Applejack began, holding back tears. “I've been in love with somepony for a while. Like, completely in love. And this…”
Mare.
“Stallion.” She sighed, closing her eyes and hating herself for the fact that she’d just lied to her grandmother. “This stallion could never love me back. But I keep loving, and I keep hoping that some day… But Ah shouldn’t, should Ah?” Applejack looked deep into her grandmother’s eyes. “Because I'll just end up hurtin’ myself, again and again. And it’ll never change, because I'll never have my special somepony’s heart…”
“Ahh…” Granny Smith nodded her head slowly, leaning down and planting a kiss on her granddaughter’s forehead. “Love’s never an easy game to play, is it?”
Applejack shook her head slowly, sadly, defeated. “But… there’s only one pony I want, only one pony who I could ever want as my special somepony, but it’s just… impossible.”
“I might be able to help, Applejack…” The elder pony smiled down at her granddaughter. “But you just have to tell me one thing, first.”
“What?”
Granny Smith paused for a moment. “You’re not talkin’ about a stallion, are you, Applejack?”
The farm pony’s head shot up immediately, her eyes wide. “Wha?” She felt a cold sweat developing; her stomach churned. “No, it’s a stallion… I mean, of course it is! I would never, I can’t… I'm not a fillyfooler!”
“Is it Rainbow Dash?” Granny Smith asked calmly, raising an eyebrow as she looked at her granddaughter.
“Ah don’t…” Applejack began. “Ah mean, it’s…” After fumbling for words for a moment, she quickly broke her gaze with Granny Smith and looked toward the floor, tears re-forming in her eyes and threatening to fall. “Please don’t hate me, Granny.”
Now it was the elder pony’s turn to feel surprised. “Hate you?” She gasped, immediately taking the orange mare into a hug. “I don’t hate you, Applejack. I could never hate you; you’re my granddaughter!”
“But…” Applejack muttered weakly, at a loss for words. “I thought you… disapproved of fillyfoolers.”
Granny Smith remained silent for a moment. “I don't understand 'em.” She said eventually, but not letting go of Applejack. “I don't think it's natural. But I don't understand a lot of things. Don't mean I gotta judge ya for it.”
Applejack pulled back from her grandmother, confused. “What?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I'm an old mare, Applejack. Probably won't live too much longer.” She hugged her granddaughter. "I don't wanna spend my twilight years thinkin' about how much I hate my beloved granddaughter."
The earth mare sat dumbfounded at her grandmother’s confession. Suddenly, she wrapped her forelegs around the old pony and let out a sob of happiness. “Oh, Granny! Thank you, thank you!”
The two shared a smile. “Besides,” Granny said, laughing softly. “Y’know it wasn’t too hard to figure out you had the hots for Rainbow.”
Applejack blushed. “Granny, don’t say had the hots. I don’t think I ever need to hear that again.”
Granny Smith chuckled a bit, then finally pulled away from the hug. “Y’know she has the hots for you too, don’t ya?”
That got Applejack’s attention. “Say what now?”
“Whenever she’s over here, the way she looks at you when you’re not looking back, the way she stands just a little bit closer to you than necessary. I haven’t seen affection like that since… since your grandfather and I started dating.”
“No, that’s impossible…” Applejack shook her head, sadness returning to her tone. “Ya must be misunderstandin’, Granny. I know Rainbow, she’d never show that kind of affection for me.”
“Oh, stow it, Applejack!” Granny Smith said rather suddenly. “You’re just so preoccupied with thinkin’ the worst, that you ain’t never thought about the positives! You ain’t lettin’ yerself see the obvious!”
“She likes me?” Applejack said slowly.
“She adores ya, sweetheart.” Granny smiled again. “She loves ya to bits, I’m sure of it.”
Applejack smiled brightly. Could that be true? Could she just have been so preoccupied with the negatives? Could she have intentionally blinded herself to the truth, that Rainbow was actually in love with her, but she had just willed herself not to see it, despite all of her desires to the contrary?
“I need to go find her.” The orange mare looked at her grandmother, her eyes wide. “Ah need to settle this, once and for all! Oh, if she loves me, then I be the happiest pony in all of Equestria!”
Applejack suddenly rose from the bed and ran for the door. “Rainbow, I'm in love with ya. Rainbow, I'm in love with ya.” She said to herself as she bolted down the stairs toward the main entrance. “Thanks, Granny!” She called back up into the room, causing the elderly pony to smile softly.
“You deserve to be happy, Applejack…” Granny Smith whispered to nopony in particular. “And you don’t need anypony’s approval.”
___
Applejack raced through the streets of Ponyville, a determined smile on her face as she bolted through crowds of ponies, trying to find her way. “I’m gonna tell you, Rainbow. And even… even if Granny was wrong, it’ll still be worth it to tell you and get this over with. But that ain’t gonna happen! You’re gonna love me too, because Granny can’t be wrong! She can’t!”
Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and a prismatic burst of color shot forth from the sky, ending somewhere near Sugarcube Corner. Applejack immediately turned that way, knowing that there was only one mare in the world who could make a rainboom like that. And she was just the mare Applejack was looking for.
“Rainbow Dash!” She called out excitedly as she neared the bakery. “Rainbow Dash, where are ya? I've got something I need to talk to ya about!”
“Applejack?” A voice behind her called, and the earth pony spun around. There she was. Rainbow’s prismatic mane flew freely in the slight breeze, and her wings were extended ever so slightly. She trotted closer to the earth pony with ease, her toned legs seemingly bouncing off of the cobblestone pathway. “I was just about to go buy a cupcake… what’s up?”
Applejack froze, blushing as she made eye contact with Rainbow. All of the confidence she had built on the gallop to town completely vanished, she gulped in extreme nervousness. “Uh…” She began, backing away slowly. “I dunno, sugarcube. Ah forgot. Honest.”
“What’s wrong, A.J.? You’re blushing!” Rainbow tilted her head slightly to the side. “Had an exhausting run over here? Tired?”
“Wha? No!” Applejack shook her head fiercely. “S’ not like ya could’ve done better, anyways! It’s a darn long run! But I'm not tired!”
“What is it, then?”
“I… I can’t tell ya.”
“You can tell me anything, A.J.. I promise.”
Applejack stood for a minute, before finally speaking. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
But Applejack wasn’t sure. How could she be sure? She didn’t want to risk her friendship with Rainbow over this. Were the benefits worth the risks? She didn’t want to lose it all over six words.
But then again, those six words could change her life for the better. Those six words could make her life so much better. And in the end, she decided to trust Granny Smith. She figured that if anypony knew love, it was her grandmother.
“Rainbow, I'm in love with ya.” She blurted quickly, quietly. “I don’t…” She added, looking down. “And I understand if ya want me to leave.”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head again. “Come again?”
“Please don’t make me repeat myself…”
“I said... I'm in love with you.” She repeated, even quieter.
Nothing. No response.
“She doesn’t love you back. You messed it up, Applejack. Good job.”
“You… you love me?” Rainbow asked softly, lifting a hoof and bringing Applejack’s gaze to meet hers. “You love me.” She stated, a chuckle escaping her.
“Yes…” The farm pony whimpered, blushing heavily at the feel of Rainbow’s hoof against her muzzle. “Yes, I do.”
Something happened then, that Applejack did not expect. In an instant, she felt something soft against her lips. It took her a moment to realize, it was Rainbow.
She tasted like thunder and rain, but also sunshine and love. Love. Love! She was kissing her! She loved her back!
“Rainbow…” Applejack moaned into the kiss, quickly, desperately pressing back against the other mare. She opened her lips slightly, and she felt Rainbow’s tongue enter her mouth. It explored every crevice, and it tasted so… sweet.
Eventually, the pegasus pulled back from the unexpected kiss, and locked eyes with Applejack. “I love you too…” She said, smiling. “You’ve got no idea how long I wanted to say that.”
“Will you be my special somepony, Rainbow Dash?”
The other pony gave Applejack a quick peck on the cheek. “I'm yours, you silly filly.”
Applejack let out a squeal of delight, nearly jumping into the air. She quickly kissed Rainbow. Then again, and again, and again. “Oh, Celestia! Rainbow, I love ya so much!”
“I love you too, A.J.. I always have.”
This reminds me of the fanfiction "Appledashery" with how Rainbow is always hinting about "those 6 words." Is it by any chance related? If not, have you read the fic? You should - it's incredible.
4604062 No, in fact I've never heard of it before your comment. I'll go check it out, though.
Not a bad story but this is pretty much a by the book "gay fear and confessing" fanfic. I hope that you keep writing, but try to tread new ground.
By the way do these flames make you cry?
(Sorry, I'm horrible person)
4605083 Yes, that was indeed the point of the story. I'm gonna tread into new ground in the future, but this was my first ponyfic, and I'm still not sure what I can do in terms of writing the characters. A simple tried and true approach is what I was going for, but they'll definitely be more original in the future.
4604945 I must warn you, it's incredibly long and still ongoing. At least the author updates daily...
Holy fuck I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would.
Me when I read this: SQUEEEEE!!!!! *bounces around* OH YUS!!!!!!!
4656905
Glad you liked the line!
4656905
Thanks for giving the story a chance! I appreciate it a lot. Also, thanks for the follow, it's nice to know I've got a new fan.
You have great command of sentence structure and a good understanding of the characters. I especially liked Granny Smith's sagacity. It played well into her relationship with her granddaughter and hinted at how long AJ has been dealing with her feelings.
--<<Spoilers>>---
I agree with Zeyon. This story seems very safe, and I was expecting to get a deeper look into AJ's head. Since the conflict was almost entirely internal - Granny Smith barely disapproves and RD kisses her immediately - I think the fear and doubt could be drawn out a little more in the second act.
One formatting note: AJ's thoughts don't need quotation marks around them. Italicizing them is fine. For a while, I thought she was doing a Smeagol/Gollum thing.
This was an enjoyable read. I hope you keep writing more stories, and based on how long you've been a member of the site, you're off to a great start. I'd love to read something that's a little longer with more of an eye toward literary devices, and I think you'd do a great job with it.
4665064
Thanks for the review; it means a lot to me! I'd love to reiterate, however, that the whole "no real conflict and easy resolution" was, in fact, the point of the story. This wasn't written to be a dramatic fic. It was written at four in the morning with no sleep, and was simply intended to be a short, sweet read. Believe me, if I had intended for you to feel feels, you would have felt them.
But I'll take your advice going forward. I'm exceptionally emboldened by your praise of my story. It makes my day when people like reading my stuff!
hmm a lovely and "by the book" story (wish i could write something as simple as this for my TwiShy stories oh well i'll keep practicing )
from a rating of 10 i'll give this a 9/10. Good story but not very unique. Still very well done.
~Tobben
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Woah, woah, woah. Wait.
You're telling me that this is your first ponyfic EVER???
My Celestia, you have talent!
You, my friend, have just earned yourself a follower.