The Bet
It was just another normal space day for the space bounty hunter.
Riding his space motorcycle into a space dive bar for a space beer in space, a Czarian, the last of his kind.
White-skinned, with black markings all over his body, with dreadlocks that have been horribly maintained, and a toothy grin that can only be described as sociopathic, or psychopathic, no one can decide really, and muscly all over, the man kicked open the door and walked over to the bartender, and talked.
"Gimme a cold one."
"You're still banned, Lobo."
Lobo took out his boomstick and aimed it at the bartender.
"Am I still banned?"
"Yes."
*BANG*
The bartender's head blew up into a spray of cyan mist, right before growing back, still more annoyed than not.
"Still banned."
"Bug off, ya Bastich!" Lobo insulted the bug-like bartender, looking off into the nebula.
"Why do you insist on coming back here?"
"Because I needs me a drink, gimme!" Lobo said as he snatched a space beer from the counter and drank it up.
"You take it, it's a recalled batch."
*BRAAAAAAAAP!!!*
"Thanks." Lobo reached for a cigar, then a lighter.
The lighter was out of the required fuel however.
Then the beer gurgled in his stomach.
Lobo found a match, and had a thought.
"'Scuse me fer a moment." Lobo set himself aside, set the cigar to the burn notice, and the match even closer to his burn notice.
*Prr**FWOOSH!!!*
With the cigar now lit, and several costumers now on fire from the released pressure, Lobo turned towards the bartender, and gave an ultimatum.
"Listen, wot's it gonna take ta unban lil' ol' me?"
"I can do a challange, name one."
"Hmmm..." Lobo looked out the window of the Space Bar, and saw a planet he hadn't seen before.
Had water, so that'd help with life.
"Tell ya what, if I go ta dat planet fer a week, an' not make a friend, I win!"
"Why're you saying not make a friend?" The bartender asked with a raised, erm, whatever the shielding that was over his eyes right now.
"Why not?"
"Alright, but if you do make a friend, if it's male, he gets free drinks for life, and cannot share with you. If it's a female, you have to give her the old mating session."
Lobo almost took a step back. There was such risks involved.
But so much reward too.
"Throw in a free case, an' ya got a deal!" Lobo blew the smoke from his cigar out of his lungs, hocked up some phlegm, spat into his hand and held it out.
"...You're lucky I need to be filthy to live." The bartender shook hands with the bounty hunter, got on his prized motocycle, the SpazFrag 666 and Lobo went out to do his new mission.
Step 1: Go to planet.
Step 2: Be himself.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit.
There was no way this plan could fail. If it did though, he always had Al's Diner.
He loves Al's, and Al loves him.
Luna was bored.
Really bored.
She wanted something new to come.
Maybe a new mate too. She needed one that could satisfy her for hours on end.
But alas, some stallions had limits that Luna did not have.
Perhaps it didn't need to be a...
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"Hmmm?" Luna looked out her window in the nighttime, and saw the most unusual sight.
Some kind of creature, flying on some kind of device.
Luna had to meet this creature, for he must have come from the stars themselves.
It flew past the castle, and was heading for a place Luna knew would not like this creature, much at least.
Ponyville.
-Sunrise-
Twilight Sparkle opened the windows from her bedroom, stretched her wings, and smiled widely.
"Today is going to be a great day!"
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"What was that?"
Pinkie Pie burst open the doors of her home and looked out.
A few early-moriningers here and there, as always.
"GOOOOOOOD MORNING PONYVILLE!!!"
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"What the..."
Pinkie gasped.
It was one of those thingies she had never heard of before, but it had somepony riding it, so it must be a new pony.
It was time to prepare another Pinkie Pie Party for the creature.
Fluttershy let the morning hit her face. Her eyelids fluttered, and then opened slowly. She took a soft smile and got up.
It was going to be another long day taking care of her-
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"EEEP!"
Fluttershy looked out the window, and saw something billowing smoke.
It was too far to see, but it was flying.
"Oh, I hope that's not Pinkie Pie, that sounds really dangerous."
Applejack had already had her day started when the rumbling engine sound came.
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
Applejack looked at it, but decided that this thing was not too important right now, and went back to work feeding the pigs.
Rarity looked out the window from her home, and smiled.
"Today is going to be a magnificent day today!"
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"Hmm?" Rarity looked out, and saw something out into the distance.
Whatever it was, it was loud.
"Hmm, I hope that it being loud doesn't mean it's an uncouth pony."
Rarity decided to just start her tea. She needed something to help her relax a bit.
*BRRRBRBRRRRR*
"What the!"
Rainbow Dash flew to her window, and saw something riding a fast metal thing.
She narrowed her eyes, and thought that A) This thing was dangerous, and B) It was fast.
She took it as a challenge, and flew out alongside the motorbike itself.
Lobo looked out to the side, and saw the mare racing her.
He chuckled.
"What so funny?"
"Nothin', jus' gonna race ya, an' win, 'cause I'm the best dere is, ya Bastich!" Lobo reved up his engine, took a drag of his cigar, and flew out, spouting obnoxious gas into Rainbow's face. She coughed repeatedly, and shook her head.
"Oh! It! Is! On!" Rainbow began to fly by the loud thing, and race it.
Lobo saw her come back, and scoffed.
"Well, she's a wild one."
"Hey ugly! How about you not try when I'm the fastest-"
Lobo lifted his butt to the side, and let out some more pressure from the tainted beer.
"Oh, dat was a wet one, AHAHAHAAAA HA HA!!!"
"DUDE!"
"See ya later, Nancy Girl!"
Lobo revved up and took a nosedive.
Rainbow did the same thing.
The two were neck and neck, equal rivals to the unofficial racing they had been doing.
It was close, and then Lobo stopped.
"Hah nice try, you-"
*SMACK*
"You were sayin'." Lobo said as he cleaned out the earwax from his ears.
"Rainbow Dash!"
Lobo looked out to see five other Nancy ponies, gathering around the one that hit the pavement.
He hovered down to the ground, and turned off the engine, and got off.
He walked over to the group and smiled.
"Oh, umm, who are you?" The Purple one asked.
At that moment, Lobo was done with his cigar, and needed another one.
He still had indigestion, and a couple matches.
"'Scuse me fer a minute."
"It can talk?"
Lobo lit the match, and did a crazy thing.
*Prr**FWOOSH!!!*
The flames hit the tip of the cigar, and an unlucky stall.
"MY CABBAGES!!!"
Lobo took a drag, and smiled.
"MMM, nice methane kick, right?"
All the mares did was stand there, looking in disgust and shock.
'Dis is gonna be easy!'
Lobo Comes to Equestria
By Awes-AGK
"Nice fraggin' try, ya narcissistic Bastich!"
"Can't... breath!"
Needless to say, for those brief moments, I was hurt badly, and I was not gonna talk anytime soon.
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Lobo...
I thought Lobo was going to shoot Dash with his boomstick... I WANT MORE!
WHY HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS SOONER?!
I guess you could say that Lobo is now the...
*puts on sunglasses*
MANE MAN
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!11!1!!!
What's this a crossover with?
4555487 Erm, DC Comics (Lobo) with FiM.
That's what the story title says.
4555496 I'd never heard of Lobo before. That's why I asked.
4555610 Basically, Lobo is a parody character, who act's like a super machismo badass biker. He's like Deadpool, but without any angst or self-restraint.
Also, he's an alien.
4555617 Oooo~
Seems like a fun guy.
You can never escape the cabbages
I'd like to like it, but the formatting and grammar...