^Equis^
{275AD}
11:00
[John]
All things considered, I am not surprised Luna convinced Celestia to hold off my coronation. I don't really care. Celestia is slowly giving me more tasks to handle. Nothing too severe yet. It's hard to believe I have been here for over two hundred years. I wonder how humanity is doing; is Cortana still alive? I miss her; I miss all of them.
It's Sunday so I'm not doing anything today. I'm just on my way to get lunch. I reach the dining room and I see Luna there; great. I try to be civil but it's never easy. “Good morning Luna. How are you?”
“We are well. Thank you.”
“Luna, you don't have to speak in traditional royal speech around me. You know that, right?”
“We shall speak in any way We choose.”
“Fine. You know, we don't get to talk much. I have been here for hundreds of years yet you won't carry a conversation out for more than a few sentences. Why is that?”
“If you must know, We don't like you.”
“I figured that out back in 52. It's 275; time to tell me why.”
“We do not like you because We choose not to.”
“That's not good enough of an answer. Tell me why?”
“Why must We have a reason to not like you.”
“Because you are a princess and an immortal. You cannot just choose to dislike a subject or a fellow royal. You must have a reason. What is it?”
“Why must I tell you?”
Perfect; she is slipping. This shouldn't take much longer. “Why won't you tell me?
“I..We choose not to.”
“Tell me why you don't like me.”
“NO!”
“What do I have to do to make you tell me?”
“Leave this world and never return!”
“You know I can't do that!”
“Then drop dead!”
“Can't do that either!”
“Then let me help you.”
Luna then shoots me with a powerful blast of magic that launches me through the wall. She shouldn’t be that powerful. I pick myself up off the ground and I see that I'm in the training ground again; the surrounding guards all look worried and snap to attention. “At ease soldiers! All is well, just 'sparing' with Princess Luna.”
Speak of the devil, she walks right out and glares at me. This doesn't look good. Not that I'm worried or anything.
“Guards! Seize him!”
Some of the guards stir a little and a few move forward some. “Stand down. Disregard all future orders from myself and Luna till we finish sparing.” The guards all stand down and back off. Good, less liabilities in case this gets bad.
“NO! Get him!”
“Luna, have you forgotten? They serve me as much as you. If you want to fight, you are on your own.”
“So be it.”
She fires another blast at me. I dodge it easily enough. I can't shoot back because I would kill her; or at least incapacitate her. Looks like I am bringing fists to a gun fight. She fires many blasts of magic at me and it is getting harder to dodge. I can't get close enough to hit her either. Of course, she can't hit me if she doesn't know who to shoot. I activate my hologram system and send out many holograms in many directions.
The system that this is equipped with allows basic control of the holograms. I have them chase Luna around while she shoots her magic at them; taking flight while she does. It doesn’t take long before she realizes that she is fighting holograms. But she keeps fighting to avoid the real me. Little does she know that I'm invisible and using this as a diversion to get behind her.
Once she touches down again I pounce; grabbing her around her barrel, pinning her wings, and one hand on her horn. “YIELD!”
“No! Get off of me!”
“No. Yield. Now.”
“NO!”
She twists her neck around to try to aim her horn at me and fires a beam of magic. I create an electromagnetic field around her horn again and polarize it so that it would create a strong pull on her magic; forcing her to use her energy at full power. I aim her horn upwards so that no one is hit by the powerful magic blasting out of Luna's horn.
“Aaaaauughhhhh! STOP! STOP! I CAN'T!”
“YIELD! NOW!”
“OK, OK! I YIELD! NOW STOP! PLEASE!”
I let go of her horn and body; she collapses not a moment later. She burned off a lot of mana from that. I pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her inside. I set her down on the dining room table and sit in my chair. “Now. You ARE going to tell me why you have a problem with me; then you are going to get over it. Understand?”
“Yes John. I. I understand.”
“Good. Now talk.”
“You... hugh, You're just.... I. I can't.”
“You have no choice.”
“Gahh. You are too powerful, too strong, too... too perfect. You end up on a world completely alien to you and help us in our time of war. Then you make our world better. You are so powerful that our magic has almost no effect on you; yet your weapons are more powerful than any on this planet. You are winning my sister over from me and you are taking the throne as soon as Celestia gives the order. Your knowledge far exceeds what our best and brightest could only dream of. You are impossible and there is nothing I can do about it. There, happy!?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Now, if you came to me about this sooner, we could have discussed it and we could be able to get along by now instead of you trying to kill me again.”
“Sorry about that. Perhaps we could start over?”
“No.”
“I'm sorry, what?”
“No. You and I have known each other for over 200 years; I think that is a bit too long to just start over. I do forgive you however.”
“Thank you John.”
YAY, YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!! Glad that there is an update. Only problems was the flow was off and was too mechanical and lacked description, etc. Otherwise good!
OOOOO this is an interesting story!!! wonder whats next???
Fu yeah!
I love this story.
5155077 Fu indeed
well nightmear was avoded
5156111 for know it is but it still could happen depending if nightmare is something that doesn't come from Luna.
5156675 point taken
5156675 ert so can i have a free hug?
5156809 yes another person wants a hug! and yes you can have one of my free hug's. *hug*
5157008 why thank you *hugs back*
5156111 Nighmare Moon will happen.
yes !
5157131 How is that a good thing?
Ah, you are back I see.
5159024 I never left, just took a while.
Brought a fist to a gun fight? Pfft... All of those Halo people that have actually played Halo and went bat-shit crazy on the covenant know that punching Zealots than shooting a Needler at them is more fun than you would have when you first shoot your pistol.
5160855 True, but that's besides the point. He can't shoot her at all.
5192465 well, there are a few points I connected. That was before I got the author to get back to his story. At the time ss was inactive and I did borrow a few things. The punch after the moon being one of them. Good job noticing that.
You need to do a complete overhaul on the last 2 chapters, cause they were just horse shit! ANd why would Luna hate him after 275 years? For being OP? Celestia is also a complete douche, and Luna wouldn't have done anything like that until after NMM transformation!
5337400 I understand that my story has been less than perfect for the last few chapters. I could easily explain that with the excuse that, if you look, chapter 12 was released along with the others and chapter 13 was mostly done at the same time. During that time, i was not quite ok. I was very 'out of it' as it were. I could do that, normally I would. but not this time.
You're right that it is not as good as it should be. I can, however, explain Luna and Celestia. Or at least try to. The ONLY reason it took as long as it did for the fight to break out is that I am, regrettably, rushing the timeline forwards to the 450's because that is the big time point. I would have done it sooner, but hindsight, as they say. Celestia is a different story; I would like to explain that one, but i would need you to elaborate first.
Now, I would like it if you wouldn't refer to my work as 'horse shit' as it is very upsetting and blah de blah blah. I know you don't care about that but you should. Seeing as you do not have any stories posted, I will assume, as bad as an idea that is, that you are not an author. If you are, all the better. Don't dismiss this with a simple 'stop being a (insert derogatory noun here)' statement and actually think about it for a moment. If you spent ALL your free time on a story (or other creative hobby) like i do, (and I do, ask Req) yet after posting it someone calls it shit; you would be unhappy at least. (Considering my situation, that is the last thing i need but that doesn't matter here)
Luna hates him because he is better than her, I should have had the fight earlier but i didn't. Celestia, I don't want to make her look bad because i have plans for her so if you could explain that, I will try. Now, I am not a very good author, I get that. But I am trying hard. If it is any consolation, I should finish a chapter sooner or later.
5338317 Yes, I am not an author, but I understand that you put alot of time into it. However that doesn't mean put out bad chapters which are unlogical, just work on them more. I know it is rough when someone calls your stuff bad, but when you also see it as bad, then dont start complaning to people who support your story, just improve the damn chapters, cause this had so much potenial... I am just upset you didn't realize what I good idea you had, and then here you blew it, so sorry about dissing you when you deserve it. You should really think about the way you take criticism too, I mean I'm a reasonable guy, but if you get a hater that wont leave you alone, and you explode on him, like me. You will lose fans. Just please, please change the awesome story that you ruined
P.S. I wrote this half awake, so contact me if my BS rambling didnt make sense
5339760 don't worry, you made enough sence to get your point across. I didn't blow up at you and I didn't say my bad chapters were ok; only that I know they are not the best. As to actually ruining the story, far from it. This story has so much left to be done, and I plan to get better. You see, the only reason I responded as I did is because you have been reading this from the beginning yet at first sigh of a leak, you are ready to jump into a life boat and leave. Leaks can be patched. You see, the actual problem I have is a minor chronic depression caused by social deficiencies that shifts in severity over time; lasting anywhere from a day or two up to months on end. Nothing too serious, but I have difficulty with everything during those times. I am not blaming or using it for an excuse; it's just an explanation. 12 and 13 were written during the beginning of that period of what I have to deal with. Any useful help is appreciated, but just calling it shit won't fix anything. Sometimes explaining is harder but you get a better end result. If you tried to make food and you were told it was shit, you might stop cooking. If you are told why it is shit, you can fix it and be better.
Now, as for the story itself, what was it that was wrong with celestia in the first place. Like I said, I need her to be better than bad so my plans will work.
Also, please wait till tomorrow to respond.
5361568 Dude its in his armor it aint magic
5361519 he can't teleport half way across the planet. It is low range line of sight only. He can fly far though.
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
MOARRRRRRRRR
5377039 Can't till next weekend; sorry. My editor has no internet till next week.
5377776 And you cant make one and wait for the editor becaaaaaause?
5378839 well, i actually did do that. He can't get to it till the week starts and i won't get it back till mid week. Then i have to check over everything one last time before submitting it. I only release chapters on Saturdays soo, yea. It will be there as soon as i can get it in. Either this Saturday or the next. Probably this one.
5378839 i did send it. Won't get it back till mid week at best.
5378889 k
Just realized that Chief is immortal
5391273 Wow, I can't figure out if that is even my fault. You read the whole story right? I think I said it enough. Where did I go wrong? Was the passing centuries not clear enough?
quickmeme.com/img/f3/f35a6dcd1622c6429d6fc015577a483cfd23ed14daa721b80f5d7fccb40fbf81.jpg
5392229 nah, it's just ignorance by my part.
Too bad that the element barers are dead
Oof now LUNA lost her sanity.