Not bad at all! Looking forward for me!

I got to admit, finally someone made a clopfic about him. Hopefully we'll see more interesting in this story.

Oh god yes.

Would have more hot if they had penetration. Oh well, still hot! Maybe you could make another chapter where she rides him like Applejack rides... Her Brother? I don't know where I was goin with that.

"10/10 Amazing storytelling" ING
"Makes you want more after its done." Gameinformer
"Fucking A plus plus" Me

this is messed

upvoted

But that's a Berry Punch tag.
You know, a mare?

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A mare who also is mentioned in the chapter as his sister.

Hard Knock is the other tag in this story.

Quite good clop, all in all. And humorous to boot. Now that's a rare one. Only complaint is that that a couple of mistakes could have been hammered out better, but they didn't sidetrack off the overall enjoyment I had with this story, so all in all an excellent job.

4519513

Would you mind telling me what mistakes you are referring to in general? Grammatical errors? Punctuation mistakes? Or logical inconsistencies within the story?

That would help me to look out for them in the future.

4519597
Grammar mostly, with the odd misspelling here and missed comma there, along with some missed capitalization sprinkled here and there. I'm better at pointing out mistakes in Gdocs rather than fimfic, so sorry I couldn't help you much.

Twilight's looking at his dick? This is going to be boring... get stamped!

there was a comic strip involving rainbow dash and this dude in the hospital it is nsfw though

Loved it. I found it funny. Great job.

“Is she serious right now? What am I, a fricking science project?!” thought Hard Knock in silent outrage and his own embarrassment forgotten, “You want the dick? You get the dick!”

Never laughed so hard reading a clopfic

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There is no need to tag the mane six or Berry Punch because this story is not about the mane six or Berry Punch.

I call BS.
We all know Twilight would've been all over that. It's always the nerdy ones.

Good story, though. Got me to laugh, and I enjoyed it.
I'll be thumbing up and favoriting.

4520088
I thought it was always the shy ones.

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quickmeme.com/img/69/69293d206d09232b86b38a916141ab92e7a0715af57c398230dff9f355b2e189.jpg

4520334
I do believe the kinks have just been doubled.
But remember...stay out of Twilight's basement.
...
And Fluttershy's shed.
For the love of God, do NOT go into Fluttershy's shed!

4519932
You do realize the fic is incomplete, right? They could very well be prominent characters later.

Very Lulzy, awkwardly touching.

Just hope Hard Knock gets better :/

4520594

You might be right, but... I don't know yet.

I see tagging problems is so many stories that I just assumed.

Though, this is tagged "romance" which is usually between only two ponies, so I'm still thinking it is has the wrong characters tagged.

MOAR
No Seriously, write more. Have Twilight pull a Rainbow and sneak into the hospital...for Science of course.

This was really good. Looking forward to more!

4521143
I am in full support of this notion.

A word of advice, though. I saw a few grammar mistakes, odd phrasings, and misspells; but those are always present. My main problem with this is one that I also had trouble with earlier on: comma misplacement. Remember: commas should only be used when bringing up a new point or breaking a sentence.

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYY!

I'm going to favorite this because I only want updates on the next chapters, and because this was funny to me as well as enjoyable to read

I'm not a big fan of clop, but a friend convinced me to read this. I think ima favorite this to track updates. I could see it evolving into more than clop.

Slapping her right in the face.

That was fucking priceless.

This story, made my day even more. Dick slaps, are justified here.

First clopfic I've read, and it's awesome! Can't wait for the next chapter! I have a couple ideas for it if you'd like, actually

One of the funniest clopfics I've ever read

My god... you have a good ol' fave my friend!

"I clop to it all the time!
-IGN
"This shit was fucking hot, 10/10! "
-/mlp/
"With a bag of nacho cheese Doritos in one hand and some Dew in the other...this was the best 20 minutes of my life, better than my 420noscopeillumanattedankswagmlg COD match!
-TheDerpyBrony
"My god...I...came!"
Savior 2014

This needs a second chapter where Rainbow rides Hard Knock for all he's worth!

I don't usually read clop, but when he slapped twilight in the face like that, I couldn't breathe from 10 minutes of laughing XD

You want the dick you get the dick!! 'Dick slap'! Lol so funny when he slapped Twilight with his dick.

Closing the curtain would not let this happen, but fuck the curtain. Twilight gets slapped by the D.

Sweet. Can't wait for more!

god that shit was funny, cute, hot, and well written
you are a master

As the days passed, so did his anger relating to his suddenly well-behaved sister.

His anger did what? It's not described in the sentence beforehand

Hmmm. A very nice story. Read a comic just like it a week ago on Derpibooru. That pairing is surprisingly hot. I really liked how well you did the character of Rainbow Dash. One critique I'd like to add is that your perspective is very unfocused. You should stick to one or the other when writing. Now you were mostly in Hard Knock's head, describing things from his perspective, but quite often changed to RD's. It's just pretty confusing for the reader. That's pretty much my only gripe though. Loved the setting, the comedy was gold. Straight A from me.

I hope this isn´t going to be to short, i really like it how funny is was in some parts of the story.
I know nobody is perfect, but i have to laugh a bit because of her cute try to give him a hoofjob

Somehow you done something right because normally i am no one for scene´s like those, to early in a story.

This fic... was kinda cute actually. And Twilight getting bitch-slapped?

I love Best Pony but holy crap that was hilarious!!

This is on my read later list. The premise makes me think about the comic "A Dash of Help".

10 out of 10.10 out of 10. 100 out of 100. Best clopfic ever.

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I think you mean, Dick slapped, my fellow reader.

I'm quite impressed with this one.

You have my interest.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I say! Another chapter is in order Pweeeese!!!

10/10MLGFICWRITEROMFGSOGUUUUUUUUUD

Really, this was an amazing clopfic, I'm so happy that it's incomplete! Can't wait for the updates! :)