love you until forever

by camskye

the blood, the gore, and all in between

Discord awoke very slowly as his mind began to process the following events,
all he could remember was the feeling of scorching fire climbing up his arm and falling...
lots and lots of falling...
Then it hit him, his arm, he looked down at what remained of his lion paw and gasped,
The two bones that connected at the elbow where gone, ripped apart., a morsel of flesh still hanging to the bone.
At first he was worrying about the arm, and the infections he could get.. Butt then he remembered what he was,Who he was.
He was Discord! lord of chaos!
So discord snapped his talons and tried to heal the arm,
but nothing happened,
he tried again and again nothing happened.
it was gone... For good.
Discord then began to realize that he was now physically handicapped.
His life was literally over,
And it hurt, Discord then began to scream,He screamed and screamed until his lungs could endure no more.
And then... he cried,.
____________________________________________

Fluttershy had just gotten back from the market with rarity and was walking towards her cottage when she heard a shrill and terrifying scream coming from the Everfree forest,
She stopped and looked towards the direction and could just barely make out the silhouette of a creature sitting in the forest screaming and crying holding something in his hoof.
From Fluttershy's point of view, it looked like a stallion with an oddly shaped head,
"I better go help him!" She cried before dropping her basket of food and running of into the forest.

Author's Note:

Yes I know that this is probably going to kick me in the *flank* (so to speak)
*hides behing couch*(straps on helmet)
okay im ready...
COME AT ME INSULTS!

Comments

[camskye]

: (scars discord for life then leaves him to die in the everfree )
LOL!

[Evia The Unicorn]

Hmm, okay, um, I don't know how to say this....I like the plot, you you seem to have to add for detail, my friend. Celestia wouldn't just shoot him out of the blue, you are rushing the plot a bit too much. Not trying to criticize, but you also need to capitalize a lot of names. Please remember that only when a new character says something, that's when you indent it. You should also indent it by pressing "tab". You should try making the chapters longer, and more slower in events. Have them talk more, and use italics when revealing thoughts.
Although, if you can do all that, I would say that this will turn out to be a good story, I can't wait for what happens next!

[camskye]

Thanks for your feedback!
One of the reasons I was really rushing the story is because I dont want to become one of those writers that takes forever to get to the point,
Sooooooooooooo
yeah...
anyways!
happy shipping!!!!!!

[CloverStarshine]

Celestia is mega troll!!!!