SHIFT

by A_guy_from_Earth

Not the Most Pleasant Evening

“Hooray!!! Hooray!!! HOORAY!!!”
“Twilight, what happened?” – Spike asked and, having got out from chamber, saw happy alicorn that scampered around the library hall.
“They are arriving here! They are arriving!!!” – she exclaimed.
“Who’s arriving?”
“Shining Armor and Cadance! They will be in Canterlot this evening, and now they sent me an invitation letter! They wrote that they would be very happy to see me!”
“Wow, it’s great!”
“Yes!.. Oh, listen, maybe you can go there together with me?”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Aren’t you happy to see Shining and Cadance?”
“I’m very happy. To be honest, I even don’t remember exactly whan I saw them the last time…”
“Then why you reacted like this?”
“It’s just the offer was sudden… rather sudden.”
“Oh, okay then.”
“So, when we need to start the preparations?”

Twilight looked at wall clock:

“You know, we have to start them already.”

Little dragon nodded, and librarians entered upon.

In five hours train took them to Canterlot. And in thirty minutes after this they were in the castle and looked for guests and princesses.

“What do you think, where they may be?” – Spike asked.
“In lounge or in cabinet.” – Twilight answered, - “The question is which room did they occupy…”

After this they walked about a minute, untill they got to the gallery that connected two largest towers of the palace. There were several doors in it, and near one of them an old councillor sat.

“Found it!” – alicorn exclamed and together with assistant approached old pony and asked him to let them in.
“Pardon me, princess Twilight and Spike, but princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadance and prince Shining Armor asked to not disturb them a while.” – councillor answered, - “I understand that you are wanting to make a pleasant surprise, but now they are having very important business conversation. Wait for twenty or twenty five minutes, please. In such term they should finish it.”
“If so, then okay. Thank you very much!” – answered pony and dragon and went away.

To pass the time they decided to walk through the castle.

“I just can’t wait to see them!” – Twilight said.
“Yep, the last meeteing was a long time ago.” – Spike agreed, - “Princesses Celestia and Luna will organize whole little holiday in honor of this!”
“That’s not the word! Oh, I want to tell them so much, and we have only few hours…”
“Yeah…”

Twilight was already about to list what she’s going to tell, when librarians heard a conversation between two guards:

“And what the hay we have to do with this?”
“Yeah, for some ponies holidays really come sooner than for everypony else.”
“Is he alive at all?”
“Alive, nothing would happen to him… He’s just got titrated.”
“Titrated? Dammit, he got overtitrated, and at least twice!”
“You may be right. But enough of this. We need to take him out of here.”

Surprised and still trying to understand whole point of the words what they heard, pony and dragon rushed there, and soon were at the necessary corridor. There were two guards – one from Luna’s subdivision, – and a body between them. The body was cladded in armor, showed almost no signs of life, and reek of alcohol what it spread seemed to be able to serve as weapon of mass destruction.

“What is going on here?” – exclaimed Twilight.
“P-p-prin-ncess?” – guard from regular subdivision got confused, - “Well… um… How to say it better…”
“A little incident has happened.” – blurted Night Princess’ guard.

Alicorn looked at the body.

“Yeah…”
“You see…” – began guard in golden armor, - “He was ordered to watch the kitchens and cellars. Now these preparation has started and… he gave up the slack, in short.”
“Sugh things are very, very rare, but they occur sometimes.” – added another soldier.
“Well, then take him… to some dry, dark and cool place.” – alicorn said.
“Will do!”
“Then one more question: “titrate”? Why?”
“You see, Your Highness, it’s… a local slang, if it’s possible to say so.” – answered guard from regular subdivision, - “This phrase is used among guards since ancient times, when alchemists worked in the palace. As ponies say, when they wanted to drink a mug of cider instead of work, they said that they “are going to titrate”. And that’s the origin.”
“I s…” – Twilight began, but then her expression abruptly changed, - “Oh, brotherrrrr…” – after it she quickly returned to normal, - “Thank you, sirs. Good bye.”
“Your Highness…” – soldiers bowed.

Librarians went away, and guards began to drag their fallen pal to chambers. Spike began to mentally feel for Shining Armor.

When they returned, princesses and guests finished their conversation and left the room. Rapturous Twilight, having seen her brother and Cadance, literally jumped on them, and with this almost knocked them down. Luna with Celestia managed to move away from Twilight’s trajectory, so weren’t injured.

Seeing smiling ponies and little dragon, rejoicing the meeting, rulers of Equestria looked at each other and said:

“Well, in that case we’ll leave you alone. We will wait for you at the banquet in two hours!”
“Thank you! We will be there!” – answered ponies with dragon.

Royal sisters sedately nodded and went away. And Twilight, Spike, Cadance and Shining Armor actively began to share their experiences and exchange news. For their surprise, those two hours were enough for them – and all the remained stuff could be discussed during the banquet. They all were glad, except Shining Armor – he was shocked for a long time after the moment when his little sister boxed his ear without, at first sight, any reason at all. But soon he learned that she had reason for this, but she didn’t tell it, although he even begged her. Twilight only whispered it to surprised Cadance. Princess of love, having heard it, nodded with consent.

It would have remained a mystery to despaired Shining Armor, if Spike didn’t interfere. He explained everything in very brief and gentle form. Unicorn understood everything and forgave his sister. And Spike since that moment became one of his best friends.

Soon the invitation was brought to them, and ponies with dragon went to the banquet hall. When they arrived, all other were already there. As it appeared, it was small, quiet modest, but pleasant dinner: princesses and prince, their good friends as guests and some attendants – about thirty ponies in total.

The last incomers greeted everypony and took the places in front of princesses Celestia and Luna, which were prepared for them. The table was already set, so it was poossible to pass to the main act. Spike was about to take the first snack, when rulers of Crystal Empire stopped him.

“Spike, wait!” – Shining Armor exclaimed.
“Yes?” – little dragon turned to them.
“We suposed that you would come, Spike,” – Cadance began, - “so we prepared something special for you.”

She nodded to nearest waiter, he slightly bowed, left the hall and soon returned with big tray, covered with lid. He put the dish in front of dragon and took away the lid with his magic.

It was one of the most beautiful things that Spike had ever seen: whole composition, made from different gems – rubies, sapphires, diamonds, emeralds, topaz, turquoise, lapis lazuri, opals… and all this under sparkling sprinkles. He even let a tear. To eat this magnificence was ashamed.

“We know how you like them, so brought a little present!” – said Cadance.
“It’s just great!” – exclaimed Spike, - “Thank you! Thank you!!!”

And,having jumped down from the chair, he ran to princess and prince and hugged them.

After this banquet went as planned. Gathered began to reduce amout of food, gradually eating less and less and passing to the conversations. Spike wasn’t an exeption – except that he, unlikely many other, left empty plate after the eating. “Crystal plate” appeared to be not only beatiful, but also incredibly tasty.

It would seem that there were no signs of trouble, but it brewed, and it was very serious. The reason of this problem was the regularity that habitats have the strongest influence on organisms that live in them, especially if you are speaking about planetary scales. In particular now the most important fact was that native world of shift-suit inventors, Kniyrokh, is poor in such element as sulphur. Life on Kniyrokh had carbon base, but was able to perfectly adapt to the lack of yellow non-metal – in the compounds where all other beings used it, it was just replaced with other similar elements. So, because of this for all species that originated from the planet sulphur was rather harmful substance. It wasn’t a poison for them – more likely it was a pathogen, that cause negative consequences when the limit of concentration appears to be exceeded. Like selenium for people and ponies. Kniyrhe made shift-suit primarily for themselves, so devices remained to be tuned to their biological characteristics. And the sprinkles what was used for “crystal plate” decoration was pure chalcopyrite. That means compound of iron, copper and sulphur. Ususlly Spike would digest this without any consequences, but now there was shift-suit in him, and after the meal sulphur level in his organism increased five-fold. Nanites had to made great efforts to adapt to host’s sulphur level, but at the moment, when concentration had been grown rapidly, because of frequent contacts with molecules just began to act up.

At first there were no signs of this, but then critical mass was reached, and the mad things began to happen…

Spike listened to the conversation between Twilight and Luna with Celestia when he felt that something went wrong in his stomach. But had no time to realize what exaclty happened with him… As result stentorian rumbling spread throughout the hall. All gathered turned to little dragon. He started to get redder.

“Are you all right, Spike?” – worried Twilight.
“M-me? Why, yes!” – dragon answered, - “It’s just because I ate rather big amount of gems. I think…”

“Well, okay then…”

Junior librarian was ready to nod, when his organism kicked over the traces again. But now the problem was much more serious: his flames began to break free. Firework at the festive event is always good, but only if this event isn’t held inside a building. If you do it inside, you can just stand up and get down to the dungeon. So he had to hold the flame. But it’s necessary to put the charge somewhere, and he won’t be able to suffer even for thirty seconds.

Feverishly looking for the way out, he didn’t find anything beter than to take silver teaspoon from own cup and… put it in own mouth when no one sees. There flames found the application and melted the teaspoon. Spike was very glad, but his appearance didn’t match with his mood.

“Spike, are you sure that you are all right?” – Twilight asked again.
“It’s just because of I didn’t get used to…” – little fragon muttered with watery eyes and letting out hardly noticeable trikles of smoke from his nose, ears and mouth.

Twilight with expression that said “if you say so…” continued the conversation. And Spike, having waited a little, when all other returned to their business, took the cup and quickly spat out the melt in it. Cup covered with cracks inside, but as metal hardened very quickly, there were no damages on the outer side. Spike sighed and put the cup back.

After this his rioting organism took a break, but then it continued and decided to pass to motor tics. Left dragon’s paw began to clench and unclench uncontrollably, striving to grab someting. Before gathered looked at him, he grabbed his now independent paw and began to hold it under the table.

At first he was able to do it, but tic slowly became stronger and stronger. His paw shuddered, and because of this whole his body shuddered. Soon he hardly managed to hold his paw, and terrible thing had happened: the paw broke free. And grabbed the first thing what it met on its way. To his dismay, he found that this first thing appeared to be Twilight’s tail. He closed his eyes and prepared to hear a lot of outrages, but… nothing happened. Twilight was so fascinated by the conversation between her brother and other princesses that paid no attention to it. Rioting paw squeezed pony’s tail for a minute, then tic suddenly disappeared. Twilight showed no reaction. It remained unnoticed, so Soike breathed with relief.

But it was only the beginning. After tic other trouble occured: he felt stong headache. It seemed to little dragon that his head became cast-iron, and then something hit it like a huge bell. All what he saw became blurred, and all the sounds that filled the hall became just irritating noise.

Hardly managing to sit up straight, Spike made an effort and tried to focus. He looked at the plates what remained empty after the moment, when dish from Crystal Empire was brought to him. And right in his face one plate rolled up into a tube. Pottery! Into a tube!

He was so shocked that came to senses and began to thing as quickly as it was possibe despite his state. He looked around. All ponies were busy with their own conversations and paid no atention to him. He grabed the plate and hided it under the table. But then he realized that he won’t be able to hide it till the end of the banquet. Looking for ways out, he thought about several variants, but only one of them seemed to be reliable to him. So when no one looked, Spike ate the ceramic tube.

It was unbearable. To restrain these impusles became harder and harder with every minute. Little dragon for the umpteenth time asked Higher Powers of the Universe to help him and stop this torture. But instead of freedom only new excruciations waited for him.

This time his digestive system mutinied. But now he wasn’t able to supperess it…

Princess Luna, to numerous requests from guests and especially from her sister was telling about her already legendary searches for samples for herbarium in the forest. In the Everfree Forest

“…I don’t know what came over me then and why I decided to dot his, but now it doesn’t matter. The main thing is that it happened. So, then, I'm walking through the forest, being absolutely confident. I have already mastered magic, have already mastered flying, so there is nothing to fear. No matter that I still had a lot to learn – I knew how to do it, and that’s the main. So I without any worrying walked further into the forest. Soon I found silver maple. Great start to my collection! So I stopped, took a book from my saddlebag and with magic placed the leaf between pages. Then I put it back and continued my walk. Then was red oak, then – chestnut, then – hazel, then – tulip tree… My herbarium was getting bigger and bigger. I saw timberwolves’ pawpints on my way, glowing eyes stared at me from bushes and treetops, owls already began to fly, and I’m alone in the dusk on the ground. But nothing from it scares me! I’m bold, I’m skillful! So I went further. But the track gradually became narrower, and fallen leaves began to hide it. I started to look around, but rarely and only because I didn’t want to step on sharp stone. To leaves and sticks I paid no attention. I continued my walk. It became really dark. And then I stepped on very dry stick. It was absolutely silent for a moment, but after it… He appeared. The Guardin of the Forest. Even Celestia now is four times lower than average Guardian, then what to talk about me and then… So, he stood up, stared at me with evil eyes and roared. That sound was terrifying. It was like…”

And at this very moment whole hall shuddered because of thunderous growl that made everypony to shiver.

“…well, something like that.” – Luna continued imperturbably, - “Thanks, Spike!”
“Y-you are w-w-welcome…” – muttered little dragon.

For his luck no one guessed that in fact it was burping.

Princess continued her story, and dragon grabbed own head. How fool you sould be if fortune favors you like this?.. But it was not up to joy: first salvo appeared to be insufficient, so the second one already started to brew. But it was much weaker, so Spike managed to let it out insensibly. Gases rushed upwars, and little dragon breathed easily.

But Luna’s tale was interrupted again with another wild scream. But not from Spike – from one minister, which found big dead spider in her plate. Poor arthropod, having breathed “dragon’s exhaust”, didn’t withstand and went to the hereafter. And as it now couldn’t cling to the ceiling, it fell down. And, as appeared later, right to the plate of venerable pony.

The incident soon was over, and this occasion joined collection of Canterlot after-dinner stories. After some time Luna finished her story, guests finished to laugh and divided into small groups again.

Spike felt that chair under him began to burn. One more such occasion – and he will sink into the ground with shame.

But it still happened.

Despaired dragon suddenly felt that motor tics returned – his legs and tail wanted to dance something cool and dashing. “That’s going too far…” – Spike quietly growled, - “To dance a cucaracha in face of others…” He tried to control himself, to not let this happen, but didn’t succeed – impulses were stronger. To preserve the decency, there was only one way out.

“Excuse me, please, but can I go out?” – asked little dragon.

Ponies got surprised, but allowed him to do this. Spike nodded and quickly rushed away from the hall.

He realized that only reason of these events was stuff that he ate. So, when he finally got to restroom, he had to drink several liters of water to make himself a lavage. He didn’t come out for an hour. It felt like his body was minced again and again, but troubles ended when the organism was cleansed. Only necessary thing to do was to clean the mess: after all the procedures ceramic throne was completely melted. It would be easy to guess the very reason of this, so he crushed the rests of household ceramics and flushed the crumb away in the remained samples. The pipes he just sealed with powerful mind command. Only then he returned to the hall.

The banquet mewanwhile already finished, and guest began to went away. Worrying ponies met Spike and aked him what happened to him. Little dragon answered that he ate too much gems at one time, so his organism just couldn’t digest all of them, and now he learned that overeating is really bad thing for sure. Ponies got calm, smiled and hugged him.

The time to say goodbye had come. Cadance and Shining Armor will remail in the palace and leave in the morning, but the last train to Ponyville will leave soon. So Twilight and Spike said to everypony “See you!” and rushed to the station.

Soon they were on the road. Only then Spike really and finally sighed with relief: that nightmare ended.

“Dang it!”
“What the matter?”
“Our host moved to other settlement, to other akiras.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Ugh… Look! The signal just disappeared! It seems that it got suppressed completely.”
“Really? Well, if so, then it’s a problem…”
“And how we are supposed to work now?”
“Dude, chill out! Wait for several hours. It may appear again. Maybe host just went there for a visit?..”
“Okay, I’ll believe you…”

After seven hours:

“You were right, pal.”
“Of course I was!”
“Don’t walk tall! And, by the way, one more thing: we got almost all the markers.”
“Really? Excellent! Soon we’ll detect the exact one!”
“Yeah, soon…”

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