• Published 23rd May 2014
  • 16,468 Views, 323 Comments

A Four Letter Word - RealityDowngrade



A meek cosplayer is thrust into the position of the Boogey Man with all the powers (and chains) that come with it.

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((7)

Princess Celestia sat impassively, the breakfast tray of fresh, steaming apple turnovers with an almond glaze, one of her favorites, left untouched. “How could you have been so reckless Luna?” she said, her normally impassive and motherly tone tinged by the clipped words coming from her clenched jaw. “Did it even occur to you how reckless, how stupid it was delving into the mind of an alien creature is?”

Reaching for one of the spare, swan folded napkins Luna, with deliberate sloth, levitated one of the turnovers to herself. Raising an eyebrow she said, “Your chain of informants are, as ever, a credit to your resourcefulness," she replied, taking a nibble. "What you have been told is true, and while I did, potentially, put myself at risk, I hardly think it is inappropriate behavior for a Princess of Equestria to put the good of her ponies before her own," she frowned, "rather than send a hoofful into the muddied rain to do her bidding as she lounges in the archives.”

Reaching for, now, a third turnover, her appetite, now, Celestia cringed, ears flattening into her mane. True, it was a grand and sweeping over simplification, to put it kindly, she'd seen the rumor spread across all of Equestria, and many others, and often times at her own request. She'd be damned if her little ponies should ever fear to speak their minds. But, it was just another thing entirely to hear it from her own sister, even if it was only said in the heat of anger. She really had been more than a little over-protecting since she'd returned, and her powers had long since returned to their peak as well.

Placing the half finished pastry down, Celestia wiped away the crumbs sticking into the white fur of her lips. Then, taking a small breath, she stood up, eyeing her little sister, descending her throne. “Perhaps,” she said, her sister holding her gaze easily, “but please," her voice cracking, "be more careful," embracing her sister, tears pooling under her eyes, "I can’t lose you again.”

"Nor I,” Luna whispered, pulling her sister in tighter.

***

Having placed many of the wards herself, and overseen the majority of the others, Princess Celestia sat drinking a cup of red zebrican tea, secure in the knowledge she was currently looking down into the fourth most secure structure Equestria had to offer from the encircling observation deck. Of course, a number of these wards had been recently added a few centuries thanks to Starswirl, who'd ever had an a penchant for delving into the extreme ends of practical and theoretical magical application. But, he had been quite an exciting fellow, and a good friend.

The sound of hoofsteps took Celestia out of her reverie as the head of the Mage guild stepped forward and bowed quickly before the princess, causing the mass of grey that branched sporadically across his head to fall before his eyes. Brushing it back with a chestnut hoof, he stood to attention.

“There’s no need to stand on formality with me Brainstorm,” Celestia smiled.

“Perhaps,” the wrinkled earth pony replied, his salt and pepper mustache curving up at the tips, “but humor a young pony if you would.”

Celestia chuckled, he was making jokes. That was a good sign.

“So, tell me, what you have learned today?”

“A-hem, Dear Princess Celestia,” his old voice crackled, “today, I have learned that life, as we know it, does not require the basic six thaums of magic to keep a spirit bound to a sapient body.”

“Excuse me?” Celestia said, her levitated cup almost lowering a full inch in surprise.

“Well, yes. We initially thought our machines and frameworks had somehow malfunctioned, but even after we went through the process of manually recasting every spell we found no magical tether keeping our bipedal friend’s spirit to his body. It’s really quite fascinating.”

“But it has a spirit?” Celestia asked, stepping closer to the observation window, her tea gently floating behind her, gazing down at the cube of glowing yellow-quartz.

“Of that we are quite certain, but that's just the thing, one of the earliest faults that caught our attention was the prisoner's weight. It fluctuated, in fact, it sometimes managed to not exist at all, the body itself fluctuating between full spirit and full body. How this creature is able to accomplish this feat we have no idea, but we suspect that it doesn't know it can do so itself."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Well, when it was first brought in here, there were no spiritual wards aside from the standard anti-astral-projection spell. If it had known any better, it would have fazed through its holding cell back during its transport to Canterlot after it awoke. We've since added the appropriate measures, and this was all after we'd begun to discover its dietary requirements. It finished off its first rations of dried fish quickly enough though, suggesting it still eats, or believes it needs to eat. So, we’ve begun to lace his water rations with Horseshoe Bay pineapple juice, and expect our little friend there to become quite chatty once we establish communications with him.”

“Very good, please keep me informed of your progress Professor,” she said, exiting the sterile room in flash of golden light.

“As you wish Princess,” he smiled, trotting back to his colleagues.

***

Pausing to take a sip of the sweetened water they left in the mug beside my tray of long-since eaten bread, hay, and muffin, bar the hay, and I really hope the bread and muffin were wholly edible. I supposed the tray wouldn’t refill until, it too, was completely emptied, but I simply wasn’t going to eat grass. They had to notice eventually, right? I mean, I ate the fish, that should have told them something at least.

That, however, wasn’t my biggest concern. No, for the past twenty minutes a single irritating and increasingly painful thought had crept past the glowing stream of strangely static sounding fear this new city's populace had decided to grace me with, repeating itself in-time with the twinging sensation in my midsection as I paced the small cell: there wasn’t a bathroom in here.

Not so much as a bucket and I desperately needed to go.

Flicking my hand out, a small swirl of nightmare-sand swirled out. I thought about sending a message to them, or something, but when I tried to press it against the wall it just wouldn’t budge. The only thing I could potentially do was add more pressure, and I definitely wasn’t risk that, not with those ponies out there, circling my little box, I wasn't going to chance letting and shards or shrapnel bury into them.

“Arrgh,” I moaned, “I just wanna pee!” and began to slam my head into the nearby wall only to jerk forward as it continued its arc. Standing, looking, now, upside-down at the rest of my body with a shadowy-head, it didn’t take but three seconds to gape at my stupidity, argue with myself that I was a prisoner, remember Pitch had been able to turn to shadow on the reflective tiles of the Tooth Palace, and then fly across the floor and walls to find the nearest God-damn bathroom.

It took an agonizing three minutes to find one, having to stay near the surface, and upon reaching an all too familiar row of white porcelain urinals, I prudently stepped towards a stall door, grateful to have found the place empty.

Unbuttoning my pants I let a sigh of relief, but almost stopped mid-stream as the stall echoed around me. ‘Huh, they have pretty good acoustics in here,’ I thought.

Even with the fear, now louder than ever pounding into my thoughts, that glowing room really had messed with my head, it occurred to me that if they were going to blast me or turn me to stone they would have done it already. Sure they might not know if it’ll work on me, I know I didn’t, but they’d have at least tried if they really felt like they had to.

Maybe it was the fresh air, or maybe it was something in the water, but things just didn’t seem so, well, dark. Maybe I was being just a little too hard on myself.

Another thought, a smile beginning to crack the side of my face, and I started to hum a few bars, testing the acoustics of the blue and white tiled room. The echoes were melding into each other with a decided note of perfection, clipping off just at the ends.

Whispering a hushed, “You know you make wanna,” and listened to the walls echo ‘ahna-ahna-ahna’.

With a half-cocked grin, all the fear just didn't seem so important for some reason, and I sent the frat-house tune bouncing across the walls as I busied myself with the first few lyrics, repeating them until I heard a soft reply of, “shout.”

I was already losing myself to the song, and figured it had to have been just an echo; it stood to reason that pony hooves were, while many things, not stealthy, but then it got louder.

“Shout.”

Pausing, the tank finally empty, I buttoned my pants. Leaning my ear to the edge of the stall I finally added, “Don’t forget to say yeah yeaa yeah yeaa.”

“Saaay you will,” came the very real, and un-echoed, harmony in reply.

Heart pounding and dream-sand, now, biting up my left calf, I gingerly leaned forward to flush. Wondering if I should just vanish into the wall, I steeled myself with a surge of righteous indignation, sand clearing, and I thought better of it. There had been no bloody toilet in that cell, and as a matter of fact I should be giving those guards a piece of my mind!

Sliding back the lock, a sneer locked and loaded, I took a step out, only to see a group of five royal guards, two of whom were decked in purple rather than gold; all of them were sporting a pair of wings.

I wanted to chew them out, I really did, the perverts, well, maybe not, but when I looked into their faces and saw the utter joy plastered on them, my anger began to fade, leaving me in semi-circle of confused faces.

Rolling my eyes, I knew what I had to do. Taking a steadying breath, I pointed to the nearest one and sang, “I want you to know…

***

The Operating Theatre was in full panic.

An emergency scroll had been sent out, and within fifteen seconds Celestia had appeared in a flash of golden light. Moving to the princess, Brainstorm began apprising her of the situation, explaining that all there scans were reporting an utter absence of matter or movement within the holding cell. Celestia, quick to react, trotted to the nearest parchment, writing a request that her sister call a recess on the Night Court and begin scanning for any new clusters of nightmares within her little ponies. Within moments the scroll vanished in a blaze of green-fire.

As the minute passed, Celestia busied herself with a few older scrying spells, hoping to find some sort of trail, when a swirl of mystic fire leapt from her horn, revealing a scroll bearing the silver seal of Princess Luna. Unrolling the parchment, Princess Celestia scanned its contents, gave a single nod, and blinked from view, leaving behind a flurry of golden sparks to fall from a hastily made teleportation spell.

Moving to the, now, singed edges of the scroll, his curiosity, as always, getting the better of him, Brainstorm read:

Fear not, I battle with the prisoner within the confines of the Night Court.

“Oh dear,” he trembled, running a hoof through his mane to steady himself. Now was not the time to let his emotions get the better of him, not if he was going to remember where he last left his camera and tripod. After all, if somepony was going to record a battle with the princesses firsthoof, he’d have to act quickly before the opportunity was lost to him.

***

Dark dream-sand coiling behind me in scattered pockets as I stared daggers at Princess Luna and the squad of night-guardponies behind her, wracking my brain for my next move. It wasn't fair, their military uniformity only bolstering their sense of fluidity, their flawless execution of every last one of their actions, their deep voices. They were so well trained, but that didn't mean it made losing any easier, or that I wasn't going to try and win anyway.

A flash of golden light filled the room, briefly blinding me, a nod of my head brought a small wave of sand to doming over my eyes as I blinked away the spots. Pulling it back, I nearly quaked at the sight of the small slag-filled crater beside Princess Luna where a ferocious looking Celestia stood steaming at the ready. I’d barely kept up with one princess, having rallied the guards to her with alarming speed. There was no way I’d be able to take them on with Celestia at their aid.

But that flash, that golden- no, bronze, brass. Metal.

That was it.

With a silent command, the sand fell to the floor, stretching out to the walls behind me, bisecting the room. Another thought, and the it began to vanish beneath the stone floor, leaving me seemingly unarmed.

“You really shouldn't have given me that little break,” I breathed, a mad grin pulling at the corners of my mouth.

Stretching my hands out to my sides, I brought them together for a resounding clap, the sand blooming above me, curving into a massive bell to rival the likes of any church tower.

Luna wordlessly scoffed, while Celestia glowered, eyes slitted.

Not wanting to leave them in the dark, pocketing my right hand, I gave a flick of my wrist and the 'bell' swung. No ringing peel, the bell remained silent, but shook as a thick sliver of sand reverberated away, sounding a very literal ding.

Celestia’s horn flared, a protective sphere of golden light quickly forming around Luna and herself.

“Fuddy-duddy,” I mumbled, letting the bell swing back, the second visible reverberating sliver sounding a 'dong'. Ignoring her little light show, I wasn't going to win the sing-off if I didn't keep my concentration, I continued to call out more slivers from the ringing bell, each adding an individual voice to the growing song, and none of that mystical musical accompaniment from the aether nonsense either, just the power of voices.

The high ceiling only helped to spread the sand's echoing words, the reverberations eventually shaking into satyrs, their Mr. Tumnus vibe only slightly marred by their claw-like fingertips, but it still felt right somehow. And then, they began to leap, moving in time with the song as I fell into it. Wisping trails for sand flowed behind them like broken after images, trailing their music behind them, filling the air, turning to garland as their fingertips traced upon the walls behind me, sparkling darkly under the gleam of the crystal chandeliers.

And then it was over, the lasts echoes fading as the sand scurried into the shadows of my coat, the beginnings of a headache trying to rub against my eyes, but in the gathering silence I knew, if nothing else, I'd won their attention, and it was all the sweeter when it shattered to the guard’s hammering applause, Princess Luna’s face, silent, and red with envy, and Princess Celestia’s shifting gaze. I love winning.

Bringing up my hand up to cough politely, I gave a pointed look to Princess Luna, who, in turn, gave a small dip of her head and in a decidedly offhanded tone said, “Hmm, well done, but be forewarned: you will not fair quite so easily the next time a melody takes myself or our subjects.”

I nodded, glad that something had managed to go right today. I know I was certainly more than ready to admit how much better I'd thought they'd done. I mean, losing always stings, but it always stings a little less when the opponents can win with such beauty of form and movement.

Luna then dismissed both hers and the last few dregs of her sister’s guards before turning Celestia, and with an imperial tone said, “I am sorry, but I did not expect him to execute something of that caliber. I know how you enjoy your vocal acts of harmony, but I also know when to call a draw. Perhaps next time we shall have a chance to properly best him together. Now come,” she said, walking towards me, and, by proxy, the door beyond, “there is much we have to discuss.”

Keeping pace just behind and to the left of the princesses, we began to walk through the halls. Celestia continued to glare at me out the corner of her eye, and nearly ended up stumbling into a maid Luna had stopped to request the chefs, quote, ‘initiate a midnight protocol for three’, the mocha pegasus nodded, and took wing down the passage, having gone left where we went right.

Another two halls of white crystalline-light were passed before stopping in front of a thick set of simple wooden-doors. With a gentle push of her hoof, the doors parted for Luna as I followed behind, and began to gaze at the elegant splendor of the room within. I felt decidedly under-dressed in what I could only assume was an eating-chamber for the likes of ambassadors to enjoy a more private setting with fellow ambassadors and royalty alike to discuss matters of state. From the crown moldings to the soft yellow light of the multiple chandeliers, the room permeated the air with an all soothing aura meant to keep tempers and words as cool as the snow-white marble of the walls.

The central space, taken up by a low crystal-topped table, which looked as though it might comfortably hold ten, had but three chairs. Well, low, wide benches with a high back, circling it. Waiting for the princesses to be seated before taking my own, I clasped my hands together and placed them on the table, fearing I would busy them with sand otherwise.

In the short silence that followed, a buttermilk unicorn with a taffy-pink mane pushed in a wide cart so steaming with chocolate treats the smell alone had me wishing for a drink to wash it down with. Silently placing a small brown cake dripping with syrup and crowned with peels of white chocolate, it was followed quickly by the appropriate silverware and a goblet of ice-cold milk; he wasn’t even out the door before both princesses had taken at least five bites between them, with Celestia quickly working on her fourth.

Gently picking up my own fork, my heart nearly leapt from my chest as my hand began to pass through it before the stem gently pushed out my fingers, seemingly content to remain solid, for now. A little shaken, I found my concern slip away as the first small bite passed my lips, gently melting across my tongue and caressing my taste-buds.

I must have blurred out a little then because the next thing I knew I was hearing what sounded like Luna speaking before I caught “-nd so, with the melody already in full swing, and with him at the lead no less, I let the harmony continue. But, upon its completion, I found something had begun to stir within me, a new song springing to my lips mere moments after. He, on the other hoof,” Luna said through a mouth-full of chocolate, magically pointing to me with her fork, “seemed to take it as a sign of attack and-”

“My pardon, but,” I interrupted, causing both princesses to turn to me, “I… just, didn’t like the song.”

“Yes, well,” Luna continued, unperturbed, “he, quickly losing the guardsponies around him as they joined into my superior melody, began to call on his black sand, bolstering his own with the sounds of both string and brass instrumentation behind him. The melodies, while differing, melded surprising well. The songs began to ebb and flow against one another, tensions began to mount, and that’s when your message to put my Night Court duties on hold came through. This, and I should thank you for that, surprised him enough his melody began to falter, allowing my victory to end with a mighty crescendo. Then, ordering the guards to keep an eye on him lest he begin again while I was distracted with your message, I wrote a reply, he made plans to regain his points, and that’s when you showed up.”

Seemingly content with her story, Luna began to scour her plate with magic until every last crumb of cake and drop of chocolate was compacted into a single morsel. Gently placing the precious orb upon her tongue, leaving behind a sparkling plate, she slowly chewed the last of her dessert and then began to empty her goblet of milk.

Celestia, having finished her own cake long before, sat still, her mane gently flowing over the left side of her face, leaving her half-lidded cyclopean-gaze to slowly shift from her sister to me. “Today’s events would certainly seem to suggest that there is far more to our current situation than I had once thought,” Celestia said sedately, “but, before we discuss anything further, I would ask you to tell me how you escaped your observation cell.”

“I just turned into shadow ma’am,” I replied, reaching for my drink to swallow the lump in my throat, “but I really did have to use the restroom.”

A single eyebrow, at least, the only one I could see, rose on Celestia’s face as she gave a quiet ‘hmm’.

“Perhaps,” Celestia said after a few moments, “now that we are all in something of a cordial mood, you might tell us why you have begun to spread nightmares across the dreams of my little ponies.”

Shrinking into my shoulders at the accusation, and feeling all the more ridiculous for having my legs nearly splayed out beneath the low table before me, I began to speak.

From sleeping in a hotel bed to terrorizing the dreams of ponies, the princesses remained silent. Their only question being how I could know so much of their land if I were truly an alien. I answered, and their reactions, if anything, were too muted for me to notice, save for a slight turn of Luna’s head upon hearing Equestria was nothing short of a writer's imagination back in my world.

By the end of it I was completely drained, holding up my head with little more than the concentration it took to keep my breathing under control as the princesses quietly looked to each other.

Blinking, unsettlingly, in unison, it was Princess Celestia who first turned to me and said, “While this unfortunate turn of events saddens me, you have both our word that what happened to the first pony you encountered was not our doing, nor any of the others you have suspected. We would never tamper with the minds of our little ponies, and neither would anypony under our command.”

‘Heh. Nothing. I’d spent the better part of a month spreading nightmares to children for nothing,’ I thought, instantly, as Celestia continued.

“A unique position has opened before us, and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for not realizing this sooner. I can only hope you might find it within yourself to forgive me,” she said contritely, lowering her chin to me. “I cannot quite fathom how this all must appear to you, but I should hope we might begin anew. While we cannot promise you a way home in all good faith, both Luna and I give our word as Princesses of Equestria that we will search for a way to send you back home.”

“Indeed,” Luna sedately intoned.

“And what about my powers?” I asked quietly.

Celestia and Luna gave each other a pointed glance before Luna said, “It has been our experience that, with very few exceptions, once power has bonded to a pony, it will seldom leave without great repercussions to the spirit, soul, or body, and often times to all three. However, both Equestria and the lands beyond hold many powers and secrets that have yet to be revealed, but, as our sister has said, we can only offer an attempt to be made.”

I nodded, never expecting so grand as offer to begin with.

“Well then,” Celestia said, her smiling tone melting away the tension in the room, “if we are to have a fresh start, then I suppose introductions should be made. Hello, I am Celestia, Princess of Equestria and guardian of the day.”

“Greetings,” said Luna, taking the cue, “I am Luna, Princess of Equestria and guardian of the night. And who might you be?” she politely asked, an inviting smile on her face.

“Umm,” I mumbled, a bit embarrassed, before straightening up and saying, “Hello, my name is Wayde Molan, and, I think I’m the Boogeyman, and… I don’t think I’m a guardian” I finished, lamely.

“Wayde Molan,” Princess Celestia said, her tone, once more, taking a serious bent, “we welcome you to Equestria, and expect to see you bright and early tomorrow morning to begin working off your debt to Equestria and The Crown. My sister,” she smirked, “will show you to your lodgings,” and disappeared in a flash of golden light before her sister could give so much as a sideways glance.

Blinking away the spot from my eyes, I heard a long winded exhalation from the Princess Luna’s seat. Looking towards her gauzy outline, I watched as she got up, starry-mane gently trailing behind her, and approach me before taking a seat on the floor beside me.

Taking a quiet breath, she looked up to me, and said, “There is much that might be said in regards to how you’ve handled your time in Equestria, and while I would not presume to claim a complete understanding of who you are, I would like to believe you are someone who wishes to do good in the world.”

I just stared, not knowing what to say as a knot of guilt and pride began squirming in my stomach.

“Please just know that both I and my sister do, indeed, wish to help you.”

I nodded as silence filled the room.

“Now, if you would kindly follow me,” Luna said, getting to her hooves, “I’m afraid I've still some courtly duties to attend to before night’s end.”

She waited, watching me nod and get to my feet before turning to the door.

Through long hallways filled with elegant vases, busts, paintings, tapestries, and windows of stained-glass, I was quickly brought to a regular sized, for me, wooden door, gilt in gold. Pushing the door open Luna gestured for me to step. “Please make yourself comfortable,” she said warmly. “The facilities are on the door to your right, the left leads to a luggage closet. Now if you’ll excuse me, I hope you will have a good night.” And with a flash of cerulean light, I was alone.

Stepping in, I began inspecting the spacious room. The high ceiling and large balcony suggesting this was probably meant for anyone with a good set of wings. In fact, it was far more spacious that I was really comfortable with, but with the heavy plum-colored drapes and tapestries depicting cloud covered forests and mountains with a strangely Celtic theme adorning the walls, it gave the room an impression of openness rather than simple largeness.

Shrugging off my boots, I decided to shuffle my way to the rounded canopy-bed across the shimmering oil-colored carpeting and into creamy sheets of the bed, which, now that I was in it, felt more like a futon than an actual bed, but that was fine, especially with how warm the sheets were quickly becoming.

With a yawn, I sent my sand to spiral up the posts and pull down the curtains ringing the canopy. They swiftly went to work, their rubbing upon one another sounding like gentle rain, and soon the thick sheeting was unfurled. Curling into a ball, the darkness doing little to impede my vision, I began the arduous task of finding a comfortable spot in a bed that wasn't mine. It would be forty-five minutes at least before I would get any sleep, and with the likes of tomorrow staring down at me I’d need as much sleep as I could muster to help stare it back down. After all, who else was going to do it?

Author's Note:

Must admit, I feel a little unsure of this chapter, but you can't ever go entirely wrong with good acapella, so there.

Credit to movie Beer For My Horses