Come on, give it a try
Princess Cadance
Over the years and with so many couples I’ve brought together, I’ve learned a thing or two about keeping my cool. Oh yes, I wanted to squeal and gush over this pair. I wanted to spill everything to Applejack and make her see that Discord was the one and only being for her. However, I knew that wouldn’t work though. That would be incredibly stupid and only would succeed in sabotaging Discord’s efforts. I had to keep my cool and ease her into it.
For that, I needed to know more about Applejack. Oh, I knew quite a bit from Twilight’s letters. They were formal, but lacked the certain ‘spark’ you can only get when in close quarters. It’s why I prefer to meet up with my ‘clients’ before I do anything. So, in all the time Discord was running about acting like a child, I was gathering Intel. I don’t mean to brag, but intelligence gathering is a strong point of mine. How else am I supposed to pair up two beings? I would use it to spy on Chrysalis to figure out her schemes, but she’s a ‘go with the flow’ kind of mare so that’s useless. I just spy on her for other reasons.
Personal reasons………
Okay, I spaced out there for a moment. Back to the present. My Intel told me she was an athletic, hard worker. Since I wanted to keep her mind off work and away from anything too distracting, I decided to get her to take a run with me around Ponyville. Simple enough. I may have been born a pegasus, but I’ve got earth pony strength now that I’m an alicorn. Makes adventuring so much easier that way. Now I can run for days on end. I once did when Chrysalis and I had to outrun her blood thirsty Uncle. ‘Just because we broke his skull throne, doesn’t mean he had to try and kill us. That was rude. Not to mention his three headed dog. It’s not like he doesn’t have enough followers and skulls all over the place to make a new one. Come on, mister blood god, use your head.’
I shook my head clear. I didn’t need to be thinking about past exploits. The bloody fields of carnage and death were fun, but I needed to be in the ‘zone’ right now. That zone included wearing tight clothes and sweatbands. Oh yes, the clothes weren’t ‘too’ tight and allowed us to breath, but they so clearly showed off our curves. I personally got this red and black set for myself after seeing my little snuggle wuggle drool at the very sight of me in it. ‘Oh it’s been days since we snuggled. I need a snuggle marathon after this.’
Yes, it made us look sexy as we exercised. I was hoping Discord, while keeping to the shadows, would see it. I would give anything to capture his face at that moment.
Thinking of sexy, I hoped Shining is doing alright. He’s a competent ruler and can hold his own, not to mention he’s a real down to earth pony. The Crystal ponies loved him, so there wasn’t anything bad that could happen. Still, this is Equestria. Bad stuff happens everywhere and at any time. Maybe Chrysalis decided to stop by and help. She’s such a good friend like that. ‘And if she took over, then I’ll get an epic battle in my home city. It’s a win/win.’
“So Cadance,” Applejack’s voice broke me out of my clothing thoughts. “How’ve ya been?”
“Good for the most part,” I admitted. “It’s a little boring, but I have Shining and so many adoring subjects. They are such a lovely bunch. I’m sure you’d love a stay there.” I hoped she did. Her pies were to die for. My subjects needed those pies!
“Maybe,” Applejack nodded. “Ah sure did like it up there, but ah never did get the chance to really enjoy it….” She frowned. “Say, ah never did ask why ya wanted us to show the game inspector around instead of a tour guide or somethin’. Ya know, somepony who actually knew the Empire.”
I shrugged. “Hey, you’re national heroes. I thought the inspector would be impressed by that alone. That and I really thought Twilight went over the Empire with you guys. I sent her so many books about the place, it isn’t funny.” Which is true. I wanted Twilight and her friends to be as prepared as possible before their arrival. As well, I thought it would have been an excellent time for some catch up between me and Twilight.
“Nah,” Applejack shook her head. “She was more focused on our routine. She really wanted to impress that inspector with it.”
I sighed. “Of course.” Well, they impressed her alright. Impressed her with how awful a guide can really be. I seriously still can’t believe they just grabbed some random pony because she had the same bag. Didn’t they get a description of her, or, I don’t know, a photo! ‘Calm down, Cadance. That was the past. You won in the end.’ “So I take it that you and Discord are familiar with each other?”
Applejack frowned. “Unfortunately.”
“Oh I wouldn’t say that,” I smiled. “When I sat with him, he went on about how fun you were to be around.”
“Yeah,” Applejack snorted, rolling her eyes. “Fun isn’t a word ah’d use in this case.”
“Why?” I asked. I was going to needle this mare for all its worth. “I thought he was fun to hang around.”
“He is not fun,” Applejack shot at me. “He’s more annoyin’ than a hornets nest and far more destructive. Ah oughta kick his flank all the way to Tartarus for how he’s been treatin’ me.”
“If that was true,” I pointed out. “Why haven’t you yet?”
Applejack was silent and I noticed a twinge of red on her cheeks. “Never got around to it.” She held her head high, flicking her tail in annoyance. “He ain’t worth the effort.”
Oh she had it bad. She had it really bad. I giggled inwardly at the display. It was still budding, so it wasn’t love. However, with my expertise I’d be hearing wedding bells and little hooves/paws scampering about in no time. She just needed a push.
“I think he could be,” I held up a hoof to stall her rebuttal. “Hear me out. I’m just an observer, an outside party. Yet, when I see Discord talking to you, or about you, he seems so happy.”
“Yeah, ‘cause he likes messin’ with me.” Applejack snorted and looked away.
“That’s his way of showing you he cares,” I retorted. “He doesn’t act like we do, or follow normal codes of conduct. He never will, no matter how much we try to change him. He is the god of chaos for a reason and he does care for you deeply.”
“Deeply?” Applejack turned to look at me skeptically. “Ah barely know him.”
“Do you really?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay,” Applejack conceded. “Ah know him a little. He ain’t that bad of a varmint as ah thought, but he’s still pretty much a nuisance. The sooner he’s off my farm, the better.”
“Oh? You wouldn’t miss him or his antics at all?”
Applejack didn’t answer for a moment. “Maybe a little, but that don’t mean ah like him as much as he ‘thinks’ he likes me.”
“I can assure you. He really does care. I’m the god of love for a reason, Applejack. I can sense these things and no form of magic or gadget can hide that from my gaze.”
“So what?” Applejack scoffed. “He’s madly in love with me? Give me a break. This is just some game for him.”
“This isn’t a game to him!” I said with force, causing Applejack to flinch at the harshness of it. My wings had flared in my anger. I calmed myself down, unfurling my wings. I get a bit aggressive when someone tries to call out love itself. “I’m sorry for that.”
“No problem.”
“Discord is not playing a game. He may not ‘love’ you, but he wants to. He may be exaggerating certain feelings, but he wants to care for you. He wants you to care for him.”
“Then why don’t he go after Fluttershy?” Applejack scowled. “She likes him fine enough.”
“Because he doesn’t love her in that way,” I shot back. My wings were twitching in irritation so much that I thought I was going to rub my fur off. “He cares for her deeply, more so than most beings will ever care for another, but that love is not one you share with a mate. He loves her as a friend, as family. He can’t move past that and I don’t think Fluttershy wants to either. That love they share is wonderful, but he wants to share another with you. Please, give him a chance.”
Applejack didn’t say anything to me. Well, not at first anyways. She seemed lost in her own thoughts. I could tell she was mulling it over, obviously conflicted about this whole thing. I hated seeing ponies like this. Romance, while beautiful, can be rather tough and sometimes it can hurt. The whole experience can be a bit too much for some, or it’s far too rushed and they’re overwhelmed. Well, that wouldn’t happen here.
I put a comforting wing around her. “I know this is all so sudden and you’re nervous. I’d be nervous too if some stallion just sprung this on me with little to no provocation.” Little lies couldn’t hurt.
“Ah’m not nervous,” Applejack said before sighing. “Okay, ah am a little. Ah like him, okay. He’s not that bad now that ah’ve actually spent some time with him. It’s just…. Ah don’t know if he’s gonna stick to this. He’s Discord. He hops around from one thin’ to another. He could love me today, but he could also love Carrot Top or Berry Punch tomorrow. Ah ain’t the most ‘interestin’’ pony, well, not to someone like him. Ah’m just a farmer.”
“Well ‘just a farmer’, I personally think you’re very interesting.” I quipped. “You don’t have to be Pinkie Pie levels of spontaneous to interest him. You just have to be you.”
Applejack furrowed her brow. “What’s that supposed to mean? Compared to Pinkie, ah’m borin’ fer the likes of him. Hay, ah don’t even like the same stuff as him. We don’t have anythin’ in common.”
“And that’s why he wants you,” I stated with conviction. “He likes the differences. You two play off each other so well. Haven’t you heard the phrase ‘opposites attract’?”
“Yes,” Applejack grumbled.
“Then please, give Discord a chance. I personally promise to stay and look over him for a while. I’ll make sure he doesn’t overstep his boundaries. If he isn’t the one for you, then I’ll deal with him myself.” That was the truth, but I knew otherwise. I hoped she’d take that. Then I wouldn’t have to sneak around so much and risk this whole thing.
Applejack sighed and nodded. “Okay, ah’ll take yer word fer it. Ah’ll give him a real chance…but don’t expect anythin’ from it.” She grouched, blushing.
‘Tsun, tsun, my little dere dere.’ I thought with inward laughter. “We’ll see.”
And then a plastic duck landed on my muzzle.
“What the…” Applejack said, before one landed on her head. All of a sudden, there was a storm of them falling to the ground. “Dang nabbit, Discord!” She yelled as she sighted a couple strange, flying carriages. She took off after them.
I sighed. “Oh how love can make even I sigh in agitation at times.” I took off after her.
___________________________________________________________
*Rainbow Dash*
“DO A BARREL ROLL!” Pinkie shouted from the monitor.
You know, when I was a little filly, I wished upon a star that I’d have an interesting life. It really wasn’t until two years ago that it really took effect. Now, I wish I had worded it a bit differently. I gripped the wheel and span my carriage to the side, avoiding a majority of the duck rain. Some of them still hit me, but they were small and made of plastic. Honestly, this whole thing seemed really-
“Quack.”
I turned my head to see a plastic duck with a monocle and top hat. “How did you get in here?”
“That’s your bonus duck, silly.” Pinkie explained with an upbeat smile like she usually did. “As you progress through this race, you can find them and gain neat stuff like extra lives, deleted scenes, or cool new gadgets.”
I stared at her for a minute, trying to process how she knew all of this. I know it’s Pinkie Pie, I shouldn’t question it, but sometimes….. “Wait a minute, did Discord design this track like a video game.”
“Well duh,” Pinkie said. “Those are the best kind.”
I smirked. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m awesome at video games. Oh, he’s losing big time. I don’t have the all time high score in ‘Lunar Escapades’ for nothing.” Yeah, I like to fly and all that, but when I’m not exercising or reading, I like to hit up the arcade and play a few games. Well a few is selling it short. I’ve won them all. I’m a gamer as much as a fan of Daring Do…Okay, scratch that. Almost as much. I mean, really. What can be cooler than Daring Do? She’s epic! She got me into writing after all.
I even write stories about her occasionally. ‘I so ship her with Ahuizotl.’ Of course, those ship fics would probably never see the light of day. I’d make sure of that. “Alright, duck. Let’s see what you’ve got.” She tapped the duck and it popped like a bubble. Just then, a grappling hook appeared on her flying carriage. She grinned and pressed a button. The grappling hook shot forward and hooked onto Discord’s carriage. A bolt of electricity went through the cable and into the other flyer. Pulling back, it sent him into a spin that ended with a loud crash while propelling her forward. “GET ON MY LEVEL, NOOB!” I laughed. I was so going to win this.
That’s when I heard something behind me. Something big. Something loud. I turned my head and SWEET CELESTIA! A GIANT ROBOT LIZARD!
Yes, apparently Discord used ‘hax’ and made his carriage into a large robot lizard. It was something I’d see in a monster movie, it was so terrifying. Its roar cut right through me and rocked my very core. The spikes on its back lit up and I knew this wasn’t going to end well for me.
Then it fired a beam of energy out of its mouth and my world turned white.
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Well. An interesting one. And a good one.
I love this pairing and the way you wrote this story, you know how too keep me interested
Or AJ could say, "There's no way I'll give him a chance...not after what he did to Granny Smith and Big Macintosh..."
This story is pure crack, and I love it.
With all of Cadance's adventures, you'd think she'd get on well with Khorne.
so cadence is a stalker and discord has family issues with khorne
5582810 She does, he just got a bit miffed when she destroyed his throne.
BONUS DUCKS!
I love how Cadance starts bragging about how she's a master-spy who needs to play it cool, but by the end of her conversation with Applejack her shipping instincts have overtaken her and she's practically shaking AJ by the shoulders, screaming "just go out with him!"
Of course, the big reveal this chapter is that Rainbow Dash writes Daring Do fanfiction shipping her with Ahuizotl. Please, please, please have Cadance read this fanfiction! I don't know what I crave more, that Cadance feels compelled by the shipper's code to try setting up her own mom with her mom's archnemesis, or if Cadance has to have a very uncomfortable conversation with Rainbow Dash about who her real father is. (Maybe Mi Amore Cadenza isn't Bitalian, it's South Amareican?)
He created a Godzilla cart, all is right with the world.
oh good, I thought I was the only one
We all do, Dashy, we all do.
I linked your story in a video i did about shipping, all praises of course, hope you don't mind
5627443 I'm flattered.
Care to send me a link?
5627728 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDtqXBtLChY no problem, your fic comes in near the end when i talk about odd couples ;3
I died of laughter at "tsun, tsun, my little dere dere." Too good!
Huh, that perspective change was a little jarring. You switched from first, to third, then back to first in the same paragraph.
you put the 'do a barrel roll' joke in! YES!
Opposites attract. That much is fact. Its also a pretty good song.