The Great and Powerful Writing Seminar of Obnoxious Awesome-isms!

by RavensDagger

Day Three

DAY 3

Generic yawned as he waited, standing in his usual position close to the stage. This time it was Twilight, not Trixie, that was horribly late. The crowd of ponies milled about and fidgeted, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their teacher.

With a fizzing pop, Twilight teleported right onto the stage. Immediately, she bowed her head and set her horn aglow. Dozens of thick tomes and manuscripts appeared and toppled onto the ground on either side of her.

“Pfft, showoff,” said Trixie, looking away and blowing a raspberry.

“Sorry I’m late, everypony! I was busy planning for today's course. We have a lot to cover today, so lets get this seminar started!”

Twilight’s eagerness was contagious. Many in the crowd began to smile and clap as she quickly went about stashing the piles of books in preparation. While Twilight readied herself to begin, Generic recalled that today's seminar was about grammar and punctuation.

Clearing her throat, Twilight began, “Okay! Let’s start with homophones, then move on to comma usage, semicolons, colons, apostrophes, and of course the differences between dashes and ellipses! Then we can tackle parentheses and brackets!”

Generic could already feel his eyelids getting heavier. Trixie interrupted on behalf of the crowd. “You’re playing some sort of joke on Trixie, right?” asked the showmare, doubt written all over her face.

“Oh, ‘your’ and ‘you’re’! That’s a great place to start! Thanks, Trixie,” said a overjoyed Twilight. “‘Your’ is possessive, like, ‘your cape.’ ‘You’re’ is the shortened form of ‘you are’. As in, ‘you are nice!’” Twilight beamed at Trixie, who simply rolled her eyes.

“Now let’s look at ‘its’ and ‘it’s’!” She wrote each word on the blackboard with a floating piece of chalk as she spoke. “They are very similar to the previous pair. ‘Its’ is possessive, like, ‘the cape and its stars.’ ‘It’s’ means ‘it is.’ For example, we could say that it’s getting kinda weird standing here talking to myself while you all glare at me...” Twilight trailed off and shrunk back.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that if you’re going to try and teach, you at least make the effort to find entertaining examples.”

Twilight shifted her weight uncomfortably. “Well, I’m not all that good at finding examp-”

From nowhere, a pink blur appeared on stage shouting, “Oh, oh, I am, I am!” The blur stopped a few hoofsteps away from a recoiling Twilight and revealed itself as a very pink pony.

“Pinkie?” said Twilight in surprise.

“Yeees, Twilight?” said the exuberant pink mare as she leaned in close, tilting her head to one side and smiling widely.

“Y-you want to help?”

“Why, of course I do, silly! You’re my friend and you need help, and Pinkie Pie is all about helping her friends!”

Twilight frowned with determination. “All right then. Let’s do this.”

“Oh dear. Trixie does not see this ending well.”

Ignoring Trixie, Twilight went on. “Okay, ‘weather’ and ‘whether’. ‘Weather’ is the current climate, and ‘whether’ refers to a choice between two things.”

“Yup!” exclaimed Pinkie. “Like, I wish that the weather today had a few more chocolate milk clouds! But, whether or not that will happen isn’t up to me.” Pinkie brought her hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “Or is it...”

“Ugh, even the pink one is insufferable,” scoffed Trixie. Pinkie stuck out her tongue at the sneering unicorn.

Ignoring them, Twilight looked at her list. “Next is ‘then’ and ‘than.’ ‘Then’ is used for denoting a point in time, while ‘than’ is used in comparisons.”

Pinkie continued in her sing-song tone. “Clarity was a better friend than Two Wheel, but then I killed her.” Every eye turned to the beaming pony.

Twilight stared, coughed, then moved on to the next homonym. “‘To,’ ‘too’ and ‘two.’ ‘Too’ is a synonym of ‘also.’ It can also illustrate an excessive degree of something. ‘Two’ is the number.”

Again Pinkie gave her example in a bright, happy voice. “I was going to the store with Clarity because it was too hot outside and we really needed some ice cream! On the way, we were talking and laughing when suddenly she said that she loved juggling chainsaws! I said that I, too, loved doing that! So, I went to pick two of them out of my emergency chainsaw stash!”

The crowd was becoming restless, hissing with worried muttering and murmurs. Twilight continued, apparently unfazed. “Now, we’re going to cover ‘there,’ ‘their’ and ‘they’re.’ ‘There’ is used in reference to any location that is not ‘here.’ ‘Their’ refers to something that multiple ponies own, and ‘they’re,’ in the same way as ‘you’re’, is a shortened ‘they are.’”

Pinkie’s cheerful litany began again.“‘There’s one!’ I said, before picking up one of my chainsaws and giving it to Clarity. We had to fiddle around with it for a while in the park before it started working, but then, before we could use it, Clarity turned to me and pointed at the other ponies in the park. ‘They’re looking at us funny, Pinkie! We have to end their lives!’” She began to mimic the terrifying gestures her friend had apparently made. The yellow pegasus, who had taken her usual position near Generic’s own, fainted with a squeak.

“And... The last one on my list is ‘effect’ and ‘affect’. An ‘effect’ is the consequence of an action. ‘Affect’ is to cause something to happen.”

"Clarity’s rampage greatly affected the ponies watching! Clarity's terrible crimes had the unfortunate effect of making me have to kill her." Pinkie shook her head sadly, as if she was describing a mere scolding.

“Alright!” chattered Twilight in the heavy silence that reigned over the crowd. “One subject done, only a few to go! Next is... how to use commas. Now this one is fun! In dialogue, these are often used to show very short pauses. There are a lot of ways to use a comma, though. For example, you can use it before a conjunction that separates two independent clauses.”

Pinkie piped up again. “Derpy loves cupcakes, but she loves muffins even more!”

“You can use one after an introductory word, phrase, or clause that comes before a main clause.”

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, and I love everypony!” She smiled at the crowd intently.

“You can use them around any non-essential words, phrases, or clauses in a sentence.” Twilight kept blithely listing rules, ignorant of the confusion clearly plaguing the gathered ponies. Even Trixie was quiet.

“Applejack bucked the tree, the last in that section of the orchard, before wiping her forehead and bucking Big Mac.” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“What in tarnation!?” came a voice from the crowd.

Twilight kept listing. “They can be used between items in a series...”

“Oooh, that one is fun!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. She began counting off imaginary items. “Hammer, chair, bag, mouse, teddy bear, heavy explosive ordnance package, extra butter, soda, salt, cupcake mixture, bricks, fuses, and keys... Oh, and swizzle straws!”

“You can use them around quotations contained within dialogue, and around a phrase within that quote.”

"’What do you mean, ‘He created the soup from broiled rocks?!’ cried Tom, ‘That can't be true!’” The inflection of Pinkie Pie’s voice changed flawlessly to an adult male’s as she spoke.

“And finally, they can be used before an afterthought or contrasting phrase.”

Pinkie Pie pulled a thick pair of glasses from nowhere and perched them on her snout. “For Equestrian technology, the War of Night was vitally important, far more important than previously thought.”

“Phew! Alright, that’s another section over with. Are there any questions?” Twilight finally looked up at the audience. Not a single pony so much as twitched as they all stared at the happily grinning Pinkie Pie. Even Generic was staring at her wide-eyed. “Perfect, onto the next part: semicolons! These can be used to connect two independent clauses. Never use a semicolon with a conjunction such as ‘and,’ ‘or,’ ‘but’...

“The first use for the semicolon we’re going to look at is when connecting independent clauses. That is, two clauses that could stand on their own, but are in one sentence.”

Pinkie brightly continued her run of examples. “There is a toothless alligator in my bathtub; he has nice eyes.”

“You can also use them to connect two sentences that contain internal punctuation.”

“After hiding the Dalek underneath the stage, the Master knew he had to find a better place soon; his nemesis, Doctor Whooves, would be sure to find it if he didn’t!” A brown pony with an hourglass cutie mark suddenly turned around and charged out of the crowd, leaving a billowing trail of dust behind him as he disappeared into the distance.

“Finally, semicolons can be used as a kind of super-comma, similar to parentheses and brackets.”

“I think that the three cities where it is easiest to buy laughing gas are Ponyville, Manehattan, and Canterlot; or Las Pegasus, Baltimare and Fillydelphia.”

Twilight shifted her weight from one tired hoof to the other, trying to make herself comfortable as she pulled out yet another list. This one, thankfully, seemed short. The faster she finished, the faster the pink pony would leave. “This is a quicker one. Colons. You can use them after an independent clause that precedes a list.”

Pinkie Pie smiled and thought a little before giving her example. “Einstein could remember the names of all the people he had stolen theories from: Candy Muncher, Princess, Moon Essence and Lola.”

“Thank you, Pinkie,” said Twilight absentmindedly. “You can also use a colon to add a second complete sentence that explains or complements the first sentence...”

“Twilight didn’t want to investigate why Pinkie can hover with no means of support: the last time she investigated Pinkie’s strangeness, her house blow up.” The beaming Pinkie floated briefly upwards before dropping back to the stage.

“... When you want to put emphasis on a name or description following a complete sentence...”

“He recognized the beautiful alicorn that was, apparently, everypony’s best friend: Mary Sue.” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“... To separate titles and subtitles...” Twilight took a deep breath as her list continued.

“How to Bake Cupcakes, Chapter One: Picking the Right Friends.”

“... and the last use for colons, everypony, to end a salutations.”

“Dear Trixie: Blah blah blah.”

“Thank you, Pinkie. Your help is invaluable!” Twilight gushed. “Now, let’s move on to apostrophes. They’re usually used to denote possession.”

“Fluttershy’s bunny is named Angel, and he will become one if he keeps mistreating her.”

“But, if it’s a nonspecific possession, there is no apostrophe.”

“The super duper awesome party balloons.”

“If a word is plural, you don’t need an apostrophe. If it’s plural and possessive then you put one after the ‘S.’”

“The ponies’ clubhouse was pretty awesome with all its laser guns.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, but continued. “In a possessive and plural name, the apostrophe comes after the ‘S.’”

“The Cakes’ shop is called Sugarcube Corner. They serve the best, and only, caramel-chocolate-truffle-fudge-flavoured cupcakes in Equestria!”

Twilight let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks again, Pinkie. You’re wonderful!” Twilight floated the list away and pulled out another, this one twice as long as any of the previous. “Next topic is dash-”

“Enough!” Trixie, who had been waiting with increasing impatience in the wings, leapt centre-stage. “The Great and Powerful Trixie cannot take this anymore! You!” she pointed at Pinkie Pie. “You are obviously out of your mind. The ponies who came to see Trixie perform are now fearful and confused. Trixie demands that you return to your seat and remain quiet!”

“Hmmm,” Pinkie thought. “Okie dokie lokie!” With a bounce, the pony skipped back to her place at the front of the crowd. The ponies cleared plenty of space for the crazy mare.

“And you!” Trixie now pointed at Twilight accusingly. “Could you possibly come up with a more boring method of teaching? Ponies are here to learn how to write -from the Great and Powerful Trixie, nonetheless- not how to use dashes properly!”

Twilight’s ears bent back and her eyes widened. “I’m... sorry, Trixie, I only wanted to hel-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know just how much of your work has actually made it onto Equestria Daily?”

Twilight looked down at her hooves, her mane obscuring her eyes as she mumbled something inaudible.

“What? Trixie could not hear you.”

“None of it, alright?! None of the things I’ve written have made it! Oh, sure, they say that there aren’t any spelling mistakes and that everything is good. So who cares if my shipfic has been written by a dozen other ponies already?! Who cares if my ideas aren’t original?!” Her eyes welled up with tears.

Trixie frowned at her, then did something that absolutely nopony expected. Walking gently towards the sobbing Twilight, Trixie caught her in a tight hug. “There there. Trixie will make everything better. You remember the topic for the fifth day?”

Twilight lifted her tear-streaked face. “Um... dealing with subject matter?”

“Exactly. Now, Trixie is going to do her best to help you with that. I won’t be here tomorrow, in preparation for the fifth day, alright?” Trixie wiped a tear from Twilight’s cheek. The obnoxious unicorn’s sudden display of kindness and empathy caused the crowd to stand in stunned silence. “Now, do not worry! The Great and Powerful Trixie will take care of your problems with no more than her presence!” Fireworks and streamers ensued.

As it became apparent that the lesson was over for the day, the crowd began to leave. Generic was pensive as he trotted home. Twilight’s emotional state had made it clear that there was a lot more to writing than just getting your grammar right. He resolved to return once more the following day to learn more.

---

All information for this chapter taken from TheWattsMan’s excellent guide:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OyC8lSdAHOPZeWDvejKhQZ8qMwiYn1g6ux-XKok_IKk/edit

Comments

[Sonic Baconboom]

Interesting. The fifth day should be good, then.
First?

[Eustatian Wings]

To bring up a previous topic, we were talking about content vs. presentation.

A little voice at the back of my head said, "It's all presentation! You could write an awesome story about the most boring topic ever."

I don't know if it's gonna be awesome, but 1600 words later, I think it might just be possible for execution to save a bad idea. I would like to present a description-driven CMC slice-of-life, or at least what I have so far of the first draft.

"Watching Paint Dry"
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19048/Watching-Paint-Dry
password: wip

Concept was really easy. I mean, silly ponies --> Cutie Mark Crusaders --> Sweetie might actually watch paint to prove a point --> AB thinks that's stupid --> Conflict!

Then it needs to be spoiled. So, at the end of the day AB walks back to the clubhouse and SB actually fell asleep. The paint is dry, but it wasn't watched. Since it's an SoL, the resolution simply serves to mark when the story is over, and the middle of the story can be filled with whatever, um, filler strikes my fancy and relates tangentially to the conflict.

So I'm gonna split to two story threads, to create a) a fuzzy sense of time and b) provide contrast to keep the story interesting. For contrast, SB watching the paint is lonely and quiet. So, let's put Scootaloo in the story to keep AB company and provide mutual noise. This is the theme that will help me decide what to include and what to cut. (Especially during revision.) The paint-watching will result in SB a) noticing her environment (try going somwhere and doing absolutely nothing for a set period of time) b) getting lost in thought -- but only a little because that risks getting boring.

Also, that suggests that the clubhouse will almost rise to the level of character (I don't think I've done that good a job so far; it'll be a focus point of revision). At the very least it should move and have a history. Ideally, it should want something, but that's tricky for something inanimate.

AB and Scoot will get in trouble. Start with Scoot making a mess with the paint, and see where it takes me.

While drafting, I discovered AJ and RD inviting themselves into the story. (RD's part isn't written yet; it basically consists of her showing up into SB's solitude and crystalizing the theme of loneliness vs. family.) While I won't show it - it occurs after the end - the story is thematically moving towards a friends and family dinner at the Apple house. The CMC and Rainbow are invited. Stealth AppleDash ship? I actually don't know myself.

And, that's the behind-the-scenes look so far. Some may argue that all that added stuff is more content, but it all of it came from free association between "let's watch paint dry" and my imagination of the characters and their world. Others may argue that counts as execution of the idea.

As I see it, concept is born through execution.

[RavensDagger]

406060

I conpletely agree. Especially that last little line. "concept is born through execution." Very true mate, and you can look at this from different angles aswell. Without execution there is no concept.

(intresting concept by the way. Watching the paint dry...)

[Eustatian Wings]

406934
First draft is done. 3100 words, which is, wow. I wasn't sure if I'd hit EqD length. The next step is to check stuff against canon, specifically the treehouse. Such a fun prop.

I'm also eagerly awaiting tonight's installment. Yay.

[Unknown-Brony]

406934;414128
I see that all the chats here are only between you two
And how easily you bring the subject of getting into EqD!
But, it was fun