Chapter 9: City of Iron
Chapter 9: City of Iron
“Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death.”
The sun was shining way over our heads and everyone was smiling, even if Ace kept her distance. She walked along with Stitches as Snake Eyes and I took the lead. Tallie was alert as ever with the ghoul so close but occasionally she would glance at Ace, then to me, then move her stare back to the tobacco-scented ghoul in his funny hat. Seriously, what was up with that hat?
“Snake Eyes, what is that thing on your head?” I really had to ask. It was fairly high on my list of things to ask about, right above Tallie's necklace.
“This 'thing' just happens to be the hat I have owned for the better part of two hundred years, amigo,” he said seemingly offended.
“Doesn't look like much...” I nickered, Tallie giggled a little on my back before going back to alert.
“Well It used to be like yours.” He pointed at my hat, I raised an eyebrow at him, seeing as his hat was mostly patches and was deformed, “The years may have not been good to it, but I've had it since I can remember.” So sentimental value. I get it.
“So you're two hundred years old, huh.”
“More than two hundred, that's for sure.”
“So what have you been doing for the past two centuries?”
“This is going to take a while...” He started.
“Well, I kinda like history and it will pass the time to get to Iron City.” Tallie groaned and slumped across my back. I could tell she doesn't much care for the past.
“Fine, I was in my MWT Security Command Bunker under Fillydelphia when the bombs dropped. I can remember I had just got back from...” his voice trailed off before he trailed off, a thoughtful expression on his face, “...I don't remember, anyway, I had just got back from wherever I’d been and was checking in on the security systems when the ground shook. The camera feed from Manehatten went dead, and and as I began to check the others...I got frames here and there before slowly all the other city links went blank, was like watching picture stills of the carnage that was going on, hard to get anything more than knowing that something bad, horrible even, was happening, but I just didn’t know what.” he said as a forlorn look crossed his face, “then the shaking got worse, much worse. It was on the magnitude of a large earthquake in the nearby vicinity and the camera feed from Fillydelphia did not last long. I remember it ceasing just before I was rendered unconscious.” Knocked out, got it.
“So you spent two hundred years knocked out?”
“Don't be silly, boy,” he scowled, “I'm getting to it!” He cleared his throat, “I don't know how long I was out but when I came to I found myself ghoulified. Apparently the Fillydelphia bomb landed almost on top of us and the radiation had started to penetrate, I was the only one in that bunker to survive. I spent about a year inside trying to get everything back online. It took me a while to actually leave the bunker, it would have been longer if I hadn't figured out that the bunker's power plant needed a vital part that wasn’t stored in the bunker. I left the bunker to a hellish landscape...” he looked off in to the distance as he reflected.
He sighed before continuing, “it took me a comparatively short time to find the part amongst the ruins, but I found it, fixed the generators and brought the security system back online. This included the surveillance camera feeds to the cities. The majority of them were just static, those ones I turned off, some were confusing, like the Canterlot one which was completely pink, or the Mustang one, which looked like it was covered in frost.
“Some cameras were still active though, like the one on the Tenpony tower in Manehatten, which was being used as a base for some crazy DJ. The other ones which I can remember are the Neighgas one and Celestia's Paradise.”
“So how long did you stay in in your hidey hole?”
“A couple of years, I felt disconnected and spent a lot of time just taking in the limited views from the camera feeds but sure I got bored and began to venture out to explore the ruins while using the bunker as a base. Remained that way for about fifty years before some mercs decided it was a good idea to try and take it. I snuck out and left them a surprise,” he grinned, “you'd be surprised how much of an explosion a bunker's power plant can produce when it gets overloaded.”
“So you stayed in Fillydelphia for fifty years, then what?”
“Then I traveled throughout the Capital Wastes, seeing what the damage was to the once glorious lands of the Equestrian Capital. It was not pretty. Tenpony Tower refused me entry, Ponyville was infested with raiders, Canterlot was absolutely uninhabitable and Appleoosa had become a slaver den. I left the Capital Wastes after a while and headed south to Dise, the closest thing I ever found to an actual living city.”
“What was so great about it?”
“The city was still alive. Even though the casino owners were at each others necks. One of them, The Black Salamander, took me in and let me study cybernetics with them. Great ponies with great minds. I stayed there and studied for fifty long years.”
“So if this city was so great, why didn't you stay there?” I asked as Tallie paused from her snoring on my back to stretch out before continuing to snooze away her boredom.
"I intended to, but this big fight broke out and I suddenly felt the rush of danger and adventure, and I must say, amigo, it felt great,” he smiled, “I started to make my way out here to the Ponave after that. I still miss Dise, but the adventures I had on my way here were fun. Like the time I evaded an Enclave search party after I stole a component from one of their surface research outposts. That was loads of fun and almost got me killed several times. The last adventure however, did not end so well...”
“Oh? How so?”
“Well, it required you to rescue me.”
“Ah. Right. What were you doing up Black Mountain anyway?”
“The comm relay fascinated me and I needed it to send a message back to a friend in Dise. I managed to send it before the alicorns jumped me. Dunno if they received it or not... oh well. That's life, eh, amigo?” he chuckled.
“I bet you must have met all sorts of wonderful people along the way,” I said with a smile.
“You'd think, but most ponies were just asking for a hunk of burning lead from my trusty revolver.” He levitated out his revolver, one of the nicest I had seen with an extended barrel and a snake curling around the thorns of a rose inlaid on the grip. The thorns were clearly made to aid in aiming it, all in all an impressive piece of hardware. He spun the cylinder and the resulting click made Tallie jump. She growled at him, which was much less of a fearsome growl but more of an adorable squeak. Snake Eyes chuckled as he lit a cigarette with his new lighter.
“Good thing we are so close to Iron City, I'm almost out of tobacco.” I rolled my eyes, this wasn't exactly helpful when it came to cultivating Tallie's trust. I wondered if one of her parents smoked.
“Well point of the matter, you need a new hat. So you could replace that one and just chew it I reckon, its probably absorbed enough smoke and its certainly rubbery enough!"”
“Eh, maybe,” he nickered. I could tell he was rather attached to the hat. I guess with all of his adventures he would have had to repair it quite a few times.
He stopped. “What's going on over there?” he asked as he squinted towards the side of the road at two NCR troopers, one with a large headset and metal saddlebag, the other with binoculars. They were watching a pegasus flying high above them. I couldn't help but be curious about what they were doing.
“Looks like he has a radio,” The one with the binoculars said to his companion as they tracked the errant flier above us, “don't need to use the megaphone this time.”
“What's going on, amigos?” Snake Eyes said. They rolled their eyes and ignored him.
“Come in pegasus, you are currently breaking NCR air restrictions. Please land and submit to mandatory checks,” the radio pony said into his head set. The pegasus stopped, looked at the NCR and stuck out his tongue.
“Not going to happen, losers,” he laughed down his radio.
“Doesn't look like he's cooperating.” Radio pony said.
“Try again.”
“This is your last warning pegasus, land now or suffer the consequences.”
“Uh-huh, what are you gonna do, fine me? Psh, get lost,” said the pegasus before making a spectacle of himself, looping and 'swimming' through the sky, clearly enjoying himself in the clear sky.
“Not quite,” nickered the binocular pony, “right, he's had his warnings. Are we in range?”
The radio pony nodded, switched channels and cleared his throat, “Camp Celestia, come in Camp Celestia, this is patrol Alpha 259, over.”
The radio crackled with static before a mare's voice sounded. “This is Camp Celestia, we read you. What seems to be the trouble, 259, over?”
“Celestia, we've got a rogue pegasus, possibly a smuggler, over.”
“259, this is Celestia. He’s not coming up on radar, has he been warned, over?”
“Celestia, 259, confirming he has been warned twice, over.”
“Copy that, 259. Interceptors have been dispatched, over.”
“Acknowledged, nothing further. 259 out.”
The NCR troops put their equipment away and started counting down from ten. Ace cocked her head at them then looked to the rest of us. Stitches looked warily at the troops. The pegasus stopped and laughed down at his audience.
“See, you can't do shit to me. I'm untouchable up here.”
It would seem he spoke too soon as three pegasi thundered over the horizon, leaving long smoke trails in their wake, each wearing large helmets with re-breathers and jet black visors, NCR emblems had been stenciled on the sides, along with small customizations, a large machine gun mounted under each wing. They were approaching fast.
The cocky pegasus stopped cold and watched in shock as the NCR interceptors barreled towards him.
“Three...” the NCR troopers on the ground said in unison, “Two...”
The pegasus snapped out of it and tried to fly away as fast as he could. The interceptors were faster.
“One.”
The large machine guns of the interceptors opened fire turning the rogue into a cloud of red mist and falling bits and pieces. The interceptors thundered over head and turned back to the horizon.
“Camp Celestia, this is Phantom-1. Interception complete, target neutralized, heading back to base, over.” The lead pegasus barked into the radio. The troopers gave a quick “whoop!” before they started to walk away. Ace put her hooves to her mouth to stifle a gasp, and Tallie hid her head in my mane, shaking with fear while Stitches just shook his head and sighed. Me? I was almost foaming at the mouth.
I ran up to the nearest trooper and grabbed him, turning him around and shouted “WHAT THE FUCK?!” in his face. He shoved me off and wiped the spittle from his snout, red with anger. Tallie clung to my back.
“You have just assaulted an NCR trooper, son. Choose your next words wisely and I might just forget about it.”
“Why was that pegasus shot down?!” I bellowed. The trooper was not amused.
“Because he broke air restrictions. Nothing is authorized to fly without NCR permission, which he did not have. He was warned, now stand down.” he growled. I stared daggers at him. He huffed and walked away.
I took a deep breath and let out a ragged sigh. I needed to keep calm. Less for my sake but for for my friends'. Tallie continued to shake on my back as Ace gave me one of her looks before looking down at Iron City. That could have gone better...
--- --- ---
We approached the ruins of what was once a small town around the monstrous concrete walls of Iron City. I mostly spent the last leg of our journey wallowing in regret at my outburst, seeing as Ace had refused to talk to me when I tried to engage conversation. She simply shook her head and whispered “Not yet.”
The ruins were swarming with ponies, mostly pulling apart the remains of houses and office buildings, some singing as they worked, others telling jokes. All of them smiled at us, and most waved as we walked along the main road, lifting all of our spirits. Even the heavily armed ponies, with their black, white and gray camouflaged uniforms smiled at us. Iron City seemed to be a happy place, certainly the happiest place I had seen so far. I could feel the relief surge into me, a nice respite from the last few hours.
The large gates in the concrete walls spanned the large four lane road, flanked on each side by two large bunkers in the wall, both with large machine guns protruding out. There was a flag on the top of the wall of a large hammer crossed over a sword on a gray background.
“Woah. Awesome!” Tallie said as she stood on my head to get a better look at the huge walls that spanned for kilometers around the intact city and the gun emplacements situated at ten meter intervals.
We passed through the large iron gates to a security checkpoint where a large pony in a camouflaged uniform and black beret approached us. Tallie slid back down my neck to a rest on my back and peeked over my head at the pony.
“G'day folks, welcome to Iron City, the friendliest place around!” laughed the large pony with a great rumbling. “My name's Chief Thunderhoof Facecraker. Most just call me Thunderhoof or Chief. How's it goin'?”
“Great!” Ace smiled, “my name's Ace!” She trotted ahead of me and shook his hoof.
“Well ain't that splendid!” The Chief laughed before looking us over.
“That's Snake Eyes,” Ace pointed at our ghoul friend, “Stitches, Clover,” we nodded and smiled. Tallie shuffled a little bit further down my back and peeked out around the side of my head, “and little Tallie.”
“Aww, ain't you just a cutey,” the Chief said, looking around me at Tallie. She let out a little squeak as she darted behind me to duck her head into my mane. “A little shy, eh?” He laughed again, “anyway, what's your business here in our fine city?”
“Clover and I are here to see Mr. Ponave,” she explained, “Stitches is here for some clinic to help out at and Snake Eyes is here...to do Snake Eyes types of things, I guess.”
“Which are?” The chief straightened up and looked serious.
“Trading, sight-seeing mostly.” Snake Eyes said, causing the Chief brighten up.
“Well then, you'll be wanting the marketplace, mate. I think you lot might want to see the mayor, get the real layout of Iron City, y'know? I'm just in charge of security so watch what you do and keep your safeties on, I didn't get my name for no reason.” he laughed. “You'll find the mayor in the Town Hall just east of the security checkpoint.”
“Thanks, Chief.” Ace said, giving him a little salute.
“A’ight, laters.” he said before walking through a door that led deeper into the security checkpoint.
The sentries at the last set of gates into the town moved aside as the doors started to open and wished us a good day as we passed through. We walked out into a large cobblestone square with ponies bustling all around us, some shouting and laughing as they haggled at stalls set up along the long sides of the square while others lounged around eating at cafes and carts filled with food that made my mouth water. I could see several dirt covered ponies emerge from a large building with smoke stacks, the only clean part of their face was the goggle shape around their eyes, all laughing as they finished their shift and eased the tool-belts as they anticipated their downtime. I could hear the faint sound of a rhythmic drum beat over the noise from some place nearby.
Three of the largest buildings, the smoke stacked one, a large warehouse, and an office building all displayed the letters MWT proudly on their sides, each letter recently polished. The red bricks they were built with were all clean as well. The city was alive, and more than that...it was bursting with life lived. I could feel a weight ease itself from my shoulders, if only for a moment."
“Dusty!” Ace called out as she ran over to the familiar blue bulkiness of a one-wheeled robot. Except there was something a little different about him...
He turned and we immediately saw that, instead of the happy face of the cowbuck robot, it was a rugged face in a large hat with corks hanging from the brim.
“Dusty?” He asked as Ace screeched to a halt in front of him. “Nah, mate, I'm Rusty, Dusty is my brother. How ya doin'?” he asked, cheerfully enough.
“Robots can have brothers?” Ace asked with a slight frown.
“Well not really, but Dusty and I were two of the only Ponitron V3s programed to have our own personalities. An innovation that started with our father, Crusty,” the robot explained.
“That is confusing...he doesn't even look like a pony...” Tallie muttered from her perch on my back.
“Yeah, I guess I don't,” Rusty laughed, “new design, the one wheel made us more maneuverable.” I could see how he got his designated name, some of the large blue panels had been tarnished with the tinge of rust. “Anyway, you need anything?”
“Yes, we would like to know where Mr. Ponave is,” I said.
“Oh that's easy. He's on the top floor of the MWT office building, mate,” he said, pointing his talon at the building with the antenna that towered above the town.
“While you and Ace do that, I’m going to the clinic, and see if I can't find a place for me.” said Stitches, “Make sure you pop in and say goodbye before you leave, won't you?”
“Sure thing, Stitchy,” Ace laughed, “see ya later!”
“As for me, I'm going to have a snoop around,” our mustachioed friend said. We nodded before he disappeared into a tide of ponies. I thought there would be a wide berth around him, but it seemed no one noticed. In fact, looking around, I could see a few ghouls scattered around the parts of the town we had seen, getting on with their business like any other pony.
“Shall we?” Ace asked, having cheered up enough to talk to me. I could feel the faintest sigh of relief from Tallie as she relaxed a little more.
We trotted to the large building as a pony in a large hat and coat left. He tipped his hat to us and opened the door for Ace. I nodded and he was on his way, heading for the market square. I watched him until he blended in to the crowds and then followed Ace in to the building.
The building was almost empty, save for a few uniformed ponies walking about who gave us a smile and a nod as we passed. Ahead of us was a small iron elevator, the lights showing that it still worked. I pressed the button to call it down.
“Where we goin'?” Tallie said, dropping her head down in front of my face.
“Into the elevator to go to the top floor.”
“Where's the elevator?” She asked, looking up. I knew she couldn't have encountered an elevator before when she almost fell off my back with a small shriek as the doors open, I guess griffins have little use for them. She got over her fright when we got inside though, her fascination screwing up her face in concentration. I even had to pick her up so she could press the button."
“Never been in an elevator before.” Ace said, looking around. “Never even really heard of them before neither. How do you know what it is?” She had a good point. All the buildings on the Apple Plains had been to small for them.
“Books I guess,” I shrugged.
The doors finally opened and we exited the lift in to a bland, gray corridor with a doorway at the end. I poked my head through to see a large room, wall to wall with large computers and machinery. Half a pony protruded from under one of the larger machines.
“Yo,” a mare said as she wheeled herself out from under the machine, “what can I do ya fer?” She wore an oily green jumpsuit over her light yellow coat and a cap over her long blond mane. She was covered in dust, grime and oil splats. Nonetheless, she was hot. Really hot.
“Dayum...” Ace whispered, voicing my thoughts.
“Whut?”
“Uh, I mean...”
“What she means,” I said, helping Ace out, “is that we are here to see Mr. Ponave.”
“Ah, well, uh... you can't see him yet,” the mare said, sheepishly. Sending weird vibes at us. Wait... she couldn’t be...could she....?
“Don't tell me you're Mr. Ponave...” I said.
“Whut?! Hell naw. Why would I want t' be that old coot?”
“Well you said we can't see him and got all weird about it.”
“That's cuz I haven’t finished fixin’ up the equipment. That storm did a real number on the machines and I've been barely getting it online. Most of what you hear on the radio is all prerecorded. Other than the news, o’course. S’just embarrassin' is all,” she looked away a little ashamed.
“Oh, its okay,” Ace said, trying to sooth the mare. I was starting to feel a little awkward...
“I know it is,” the mare said, brightening up, “gimme a jiffy and I'll get this fixed.” She ducked back under her machine and started tinkering with her tools. Ace bit her lower lip as she stared at the mare's flank.
“Gently...gently...” the mare muttered from under the machine, followed by a large crash that made us all jump. The lights on the machine flickered on and the machine started humming. “That augh’ta do it,” the mare said and pulled herself out. She trotted up to the intercom on the wall and held down the button. “How's that, Mr. P?”
“Everything is running smoothly, thank you, Gigs.” The familiar voice said through the intercom.
“Oh, also, there's two ponies and a griffin here to see you.”
“Is that so...well I am rather busy. Who are they, and what do they want?”
She turned to us and raised her eyebrow. Ace was still staring at her flank. I tapped her head, and she snapped out of it. “Right, um, sorry, I'm Ace, and this is Clover and Tallie.” We let out a small giggle at Ace's expense, “and we’re looking for information.”
“Did'ja get that, Mr. P?”
“Sure did, but I've never heard of you before, and I really am very busy.”
I gently moved Gigs out of the way and pressed the microphone button, “maybe you haven’t heard of my name, but what about the 'Crazy Courier'?”
“Wait, are you telling me you're that crazy courier I've been blabbing so much about?”
“The one and only.”
There was a long silence before Mr. Ponave spoke. “Gigs, show them up please.”
“Alrighty then. Come on, folks,” Gigs said as she trotted to a door on the far side of the room. She opened it to reveal a flight of fancy stairs.
“I thought we were on the top floor,” Tallie said from Ace's back.
“Well the elevator only comes to this floor, we gotta walk the rest of the way up,” Gigs chuckled.
“Is Gigs short for anything?” Ace asked, almost falling over as she got a good look at Gigs' flank while she walked ahead of us.
“Sure is. Gigabyte Board of the Board family at your service,” she said with a small bow as we approached a large oak door. “Here we are. Now, if y'all would excuse me, ah've got work to do.” She trotted back down the stairs.
“Damn, she's hot.” Ace sighed as Gigs was out of earshot.
“Even when covered in engine grease?” Tallie asked.
“Even when covered in engine grease,” Ace confirmed. “No, especially covered in engine grease.”
“Good to, uh...know...” I nickered. “Come on.” I pushed open the door into a fantastic looking room. On the walls to each side of us stood bookshelves that stretched up for meters until they hit the high ceiling. On the back wall was an assembly of computers and recording equipment, neatly packed together around the huge windows and the large red velvet curtains. This was a room I could get used to.
My attention shifted to the large chair that was currently facing away from us and the smooth elderly voice talking about the day's events, ending with a public service announcement and the title of the next song.
The large chair turned and we were greeted with an elderly gentlecolt, smiling through his large mustache. He wore a black fedora with a little piece of paper with 'press' written on it, along with a nice white button-up shirt, the top undone, framing an untied bow-tie. He picked up a pipe and lit it, taking a few puffs.
“So,” he started, “you are the Crazy Courier whose been going around killing raiders and other bad cats out there?” I nodded, “then, son, I would like to shake your hoof.” He got up and did just that.
“What you did for the people of Rust was beyond great. You reopened the trade route down the I-10 too with that whole hostage thing.” I cringed a little, but Ace was looking through the books with Tallie, not listening to our conversation, thankfully.
“So what brings you to me?” He asked as he eased back into the leather chair.
“I need information.”
“Well, information is power, and I am a very powerful pony. What do you need to know?”
“The pony that shot me and killed my brother,” I started, trying not to think about Shamrock. Whoops, too late. I tried to shake it off, “his name is Double Down.” I felt a cold dagger stab at my heart with the thought while Trailblaze chuckled softly in my head.
“Double Down, eh? Owner of The Star Casino on the Strip?” I nodded. “He's a real piece of work. So he shot you and your brother?” I slowly nodded again, my right eye twitched a little as the cold dagger twisted a little inside, “well I bet it isn't just a package you want to deliver then. Let me see what I can do.”
He took a panel off of his desk to reveal a large map with several lights on it and buttons along the side. He pressed one labeled 'The Star' and waited.
Tallie and Ace had taken their attention from the books and bookshelf climbing to come over and check out the map. Tallie slowly reached out a wing to press an inviting button, before Ace pulled her away.
“Don't touch,” she whispered. Tallie didn't know what was going on at all.
There was a slight crackle and a pop before the light over the strip winked on. A stallion's voice sounded from a speaker on the desk, “Ring-a-ding-ding, bossman.”
“There's a pony here that needs information on Double Down. Care to oblige?”
“Uh, sure thing boss, but DD's been a little on edge lately, who is the client?”
“You remember I told you about the Courier who came back from the dead?” Ponave leaned back on his chair and put his hooves together.
“mmhmmm...” the voice seemed bored.
“Well, he's the client,” he smiled.
“Hot damn. Is he there?” The Stallion's tone went from bored to excited.
“Sure am,” I said.
“Damn, C, you got a whole mess of trouble coming your way.”
“Oh really?” I arched my brow, I guess it's troubles turn to find me.
“Yeah, man. DD's sent for hitponies and mercs from far and wide, way over the Great Diving Range. Even out as far as Manehatten and beyond.”
“How many are we talking here?” Ace asked. She had a mix of seriousness and worry playing over her face.
“No idea on the numbers, all I know is that there was only one refusal. Some gal by the name of Hired Gun all the way over in Dise. Told the messenger to 'fuck off' apparently.”
“Obviously a fake name,” I huffed. Who the hell would call themselves 'Hired Gun'? That was just asking for a bullet to the brainpan.
“On the Apple Plains, when someone does right by you, you buy them a drink... dunno how that would work in this situation.” I turned to Ace “Looks like we best keep an eye out.”. She looked about as worried as I felt, and I had just heard there was an unknown number of ponies out to get me, I was not exactly feeling very safe.
“Sounds bad.” Ponave nickered. “What was it you wanted to know?”
I turned and narrowed my eyes. “Simple. I plan to take Double Down to an early grave and I need to know what I'm up against.”
“Sounds easy enough...” The informant said, “gimme a week and I should have some solid intel.”
“A WEEK?!” Trailblaze screamed, sending tendrils of pain slithering through my brain.
“A...week?” I mumbled.
“Yeah, you spooked DD pretty bad. He's got all sorts of cool cats running around. I won't be able to pin down what he's up to for a bit. If you just lay low for a little, he should chill out and I can get the info you need with minimum risk, you dig?”
“Yeah, I understand,” I said, my head throbbing with pain. Trailblaze was tearing me up something bad.
“A’ight, that all? What we got cooking down here?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Okay then. Later boss. Stay classy.”
Ponave pressed a button cutting the comm and the light on the strip winked off. He put the panel back on his desk.
“I think Hired Gun is an awesome name,” Tallie huffed and crossed her avian legs.
“Listen, kid. Iron City is one of the most secure places in the Ponave. The Iron Defenders are highly trained and brave as lions.”
“Iron Defenders?”
“The guards of Iron City. Two hundred years ago the warehouse down there used to house Coalition Military equipment and training simulators. Our guards are all trained up on them and they're as tough as nails. You wouldn't believe how much the NCR wants to get its hands on this stuff.”
“Why haven’t you handed it over?”
“Because Iron City is a peaceful friendly place, we start picking sides and someone's going to come after us.”
“I see.” I turned to Ace, “any ideas on what to do for a week?”
“Under these circumstances,” Ponave said, “I will see that you are provided with one of the suites in the Miner's Pick hotel, free of charge. Its the least I can do for the Heroes of Rust, in the meantime look around town, there's always stuff going on.”
“What about our friends, the ones we arrived with?” I had no intention to leave my new friends high and dry without a place to stay.
“I'm sure I can arrange for their accommodation as well, two wasn't it? Right, I will see to that immediately. Oh, also be sure to see Hammer down in his Bazaar in the marketplace, he sells the good stuff.”
“The good stuff?” Ace asked, perking up.
“Yeah, weapons, armour, bullets, anything an adventurer needs. You know, I used to be an adventurer like you...” he let out a deep sigh.
“What happened?” I asked
“I took a large caliber hollow-point bullet to the stomach, tore me up something bad. Still hurts from time to time,” he sighed.
I walked to the window, looking down at the city below, the ponies had disappeared having finished their shift change. “This city has been growing for two hundred years, son,” the old pony told me, “the mines are still going even after that.”
“Mines?” It seemed highly illogical that there were still mines out here after two hundred years.
“Yep. This started of as a small mining town, mining iron out of the hills but every so often a new iron vein was found and mined for the MWT and Equestria. Hell, this office was once Applejack's for when she came out here.” He pointed to a painting of an orange pony in a large cowpony hat above the door, she looked happy as she kicked a tree as apples rained from above. “Yep, the people of Iron City look after this town with great pleasure. Even the public restrooms are spotless.”
“This place has survived Zebra invasions and balefire bombs. The latter of course was thanks to Mr. Horse and his lasers. He's probably long dead now... most of the iron we dig up is put into the foundries and forges in the factory district to turn into anything we need. Guns, pipes, just about anything. Even the scrap yards come up with something useful now and again. Only thing we can't make is anything big, like armour plating. I dunno why, but the Foremare won't allow it.”
“I wonder why not.” I raised my head to the sky, watching the white fluffy clouds gently coast along the endless blue. Oh, If only I were a cloud... My eyes dropped to the large buildings on the horizon. “What's out there?” I asked.
“That would be Mustang, a place of complete mystery. Scavengers go in but few come out. No one knows what happens to them, the ones that do come back say that the only dangers were the weird radiation and the raiders in the rad free zones. Its just a spooky place I guess. I honestly would not recommend going out there.”
“Well, Ponave. It was nice meeting you,” I said and smiled at the old man. He returned my smile but frowned and seemed in deep thought. “Problem?” I asked.
“I'm sorry, it must be my age but I can't remember your name...”
“That's because I never got around to telling you personally. My name's Clover; this is Ace and Tallie.”
“Clover, Ace and Tallie. Got it,” he nodded, “don't be stranger now, come on back and have a chat whenever you like.” With that, we left him back to his broadcast.
Ace, Tallie and I walked back down the stairs and in to the machine room. Gigs had changed out of her grimy jump suit into a more casual outfit; her hair still wet from a recent shower. I could see Ace's hind legs quiver. Gigs looked even hotter than before, even if she was pigging out on a hay sandwich.
“Y'all leavin'?” She asked between mouthfuls, “well, y'all take care now, ya hear?”
“Uh...yeah...sure...” Ace stammered.
I almost had to shove her back down the hallway and into the elevator. Tallie immediately clambered on top of Ace's head and pushed the button that would take us back down to Iron City.
--- --- ---
We walked out into the square, there wasn't many ponies out and about anymore, mostly just stall vendors, some shoppers and a pony sitting at a small drum set on the street, playing a rhythmic beat that caught my ears. I trotted over to him.
He wore a dark green wool hat and patched green shirt, with a big gray beard covering his neck. His drum sticks had been taped to his hooves as he played his tune. I couldn't help but smile at the bearded pony. There was a small, cap filled tin just beside him. I couldn't help but drop a few more caps in. He smiled under his beard and kept on playing.
Ace's face brightened up as she looked at one of the shops along the square. “Wait here!” She said, darting off into the shop doorway.
“What's she doing now?” I nickered. That mare was crazy.
I sat on one of the nearby benches lining the square and listened to the drumming. I saw Rusty shamble alongside an older mare who sported a large computer chip on her flank.
I remembered that I still had a recording to watch. Ace was nowhere to be seen inside the shop, so I loaded it up on my Pipbuck and watched the screen fuzz and load.
*
I was sitting on Sparky's head set on a bench in a wagon, his comrades sat beside and opposite us, all chatting and laughing. We were sitting opposite a griffin with an assault rifle. Black Sword sat between him and a huge pony with guns almost as big as me, he was asleep under his yellow cap.
At the front sat a pony with more armour plates than the rest of us and a full helmet with a skull face painted on the front of the black visor covering his face. He was talking with a griffin in similar armour. I could overhear them talking about grenades and explosives.
“Grenadiers...” My host sighed.
“Well they better not set anything off, or its my ass in the fire,” a pony in a huge set of armour said behind his huge collar. He looked almost as big as the pony beside Black Sword.
“Relax, Scattershot, we're trained professionals,” the grenadier griffin smirked.
My host looked out the back of the wagon at the one beside us. Inside sat a gathering of weird looking ponies with long ears. One playing a guitar as the rest sang along. I couldn't make out the song but the chorus was loud enough.
“And if that don't work?!” the guitar one yelled.
“Use more gun!!” The rest shouted, followed by chorus of laughs and whistles.
“Damn mules...” Sparky sighed, looking back at his comrades.
“You know mules are the best engineers the Coalition has, right?” A pony in glasses said from beside the heavily armoured Scattershot. This pony had a large machine gun on his battle saddle and was covered in ammo belts. He adjusted his glasses. “Probably got more skill than you do, Sparky.”
“Zip it, Sweet Water,” Sparky snapped.
“Oi. Calm down, Sparky.” the griffin in front of us barked.
“Sorry, its just all the redeployments are getting to me, where the fuck are we going now, anyway?” My host asked.
Black Sword spoke up. “We're headed for an emergency gathering up near Iron Town. The Zebra attack's got the General spooked. We’re to meet the Commissar and someone from Equestria.”
“Equestria...” Everyone moaned.
“Why did they have to drag us into this mess by annexing us?” The grenadier pony asked, I could make out a name stitched into his collar, Pvt. Valentine.
“Because they needed our resources.” Sweet Water replied. “They’re paying through the snout for them too.”
“Never the less,” Black Words interrupted, “we have our objective. Shouldn't be too long now, we're coming up on Dingle Berry warehou-” he was cut off by the assault griffin's shushing.
“Anyone else hear that...?” He whispered. I couldn't hear anything but my host did, seeing as he looked up out of the back of the wagon. I could see a large black shadow approaching us.
“Fucking dragon!!” Sparky yelled as the mule wagon exploded into flames. Mules, engulfed in fire, screamed and clambered out the sides, rolling in the dirt in a futile attempt to extinguish themselves. “Pile out! Go, go, go!” We jumped out the back and started running for cover. As I looked back to see figures on the horizon.
The recording fizzed and crackled with static and I only caught glimpses of ponies running towards the warehouse, some cut down while they ran. The screen burst into static as Sparky approached the doors.
It cleared once more. There were bullets flying all around; I could see some Coalition troopers lying dead on the ground. Sparky was firing an assault rifle through a window on the ground floor at the incoming Zebras.
“How the fuck did they get this far?” Valentine called out, pausing to reload his grenade launcher.
“Never mind that!” Black Sword yelled, “we've got a dragon to kill! Thunder, switch to flak ammo!”
“Gotcha!” The towering pony said, his battlesaddle clicked and whirred as large shells started to snake into his large guns. “Auto cannons online!” He yelled while approaching the large doors and began to fire his cannons. The sky around the dragon erupted in black clouds.
“That's not going to be enough, Sir!” Sweet Water shouted over the thunderous roar of his machine gun.
“Right, Sparky, get your launcher up to that window.” Black Sword shouted, pointing up to the cat walk. My host nodded running to the stairs and across the catwalk. He pulled out a tube and it extended into a launcher. A targeting reticule flicked over his eye and he traced the dragon with it. It slowly beeped before steadily speeding up until it became a long single tone.
“Got a good lock!” Sparky shouted down.
“Fire at will!” Black Sword yelled before going back to barking down his radio.
There was a loud hiss and a 'whoosh' as a rocket flew from the launcher and started following the dragon. It flew through the black clouds and impacted into the dragon's side. It roared and banked left before stopping.
“Direct hit!” Sparky yelled, followed by a small 'whoop!'.
“Nice hit!” The assault griffin shouted, grinning. He stopped grinning when the dragon started hurtling towards the warehouse. “Move!”
Sparky scrambled and tripped on the catwalk, sending the camera flying to the ground as the dragon landed beside his window. He was too late to move as the window erupted in fire, I could hear his screams of agony as the flames washed over him. The dragon stopped and fell to the ground as detonations danced across its side.
“Sparky!!” The grenadier griffin yelled. Sparky was little more than a flaming pile of bones. I could hear a loud roar nearby.
“Hauler's here! Let's go!” Black Sword shouted. Someone knocked the camera, as it was now facing the doorway. A long black machine was waiting for them, griffin-manned miniguns firing at the zebras from each side. Two ponies sat side-by-side in the cockpit, working the pedals that kept the rotor on top spinning. A door on the side slid open as a griffin waved the Coalition troops in.
“Come on! Come on!” He yelled into his headset.
The ponies scrambled in and fired from the open doors as it took off. All except Sparky.
The recording fuzzed, went to static and died.
*
I felt a pang of sorrow for the fallen engineer. To be fried like that... must've hurt like a bitch. I really regret trampling through his remains like I did. I leaned my head back against the bench and watched the clouds lazily float across the sky. I closed my eyes and listened to the drumming.
I heard hoofsteps and opened my eyes to see a bottle of Golden Harp wrapped in a brown levitation field floating in front of me. I swiped at it with my forelegs, with each swipe, the bottle would bob out of reach. I looked over to see Ace standing in the doorway. A grin on her face.
“You want it?” She asked, “It's the last one they got.”
“Yes, please.” I said, standing up, still swiping at the bottle.
“Well, ya can't have it.” She popped the cap off and took a swig. “Oh, that's the good stuff,” she sighed smiling at my torment.
“That's just mean., I pouted. Tallie laughed and continued munching on a pack of biscuits, crumbs falling from her beak.
“What is?” Stitches asked as he trotted up behind us with Snake Eyes and a pony I hadn't met. He looked a little odd without his helmet and fore arm bands.
“Oh, me tormenting Clover by drinking his favorite drink,” Ace smirked. I knew why she was doing it. I only hoped that made us even.
“Charming,” Snake Eyes nickered.
“Clover, this is the mayor of Iron City, Steel Pick.” He pointed at the black pony. Except, he wasn't black, he was white but covered in soot, except for around his eyes where the goggles resting on his head, had been.
“Howdy!” He said, cheerfully. “You're friend here said you have someone who needs a home?”
I had completely forgot why we brought Tallie with us, to find her a home. I turned to Tallie. She was oblivious to what was going on, concentrating on the last of her biscuits. I looked back at Stitches.
“But...”
“Clover, we have to. Have you considered the amount of times she could have been killed on our way here?” Snake Eyes said. “This is the safest place in the Ponave. She will be safe here.”
“It's fer the best.” Steel Pick said. Stitches nodded in agreement. I looked at Ace, she looked sad but nodded.
“Tallie...” I sighed. “This pony here is going to give you a home in Iron City.”
“W-what?” she said, her eyes went all big and watery as she dropped the packet of biscuits. I could feel my heart tearing itself apart.
“We can't take you with us. Its just too dangerous.”
“But I don't wanna stay here!” She bawled. I tried to hide my sadness as best I could. I had looked after her, given her hope when she had none, and now I was giving her up.
“I don't want to do this, Tallie, but I have to. Besides, we'll come see you loads. We're here for a week anyway.”
“But I...” She looked into my eyes. “...O-okay.” She sniffled and climbed off Ace's back. I picked her up and put her on Steel Pick's back.
“Alrighty then, you can see her tomorra afternoon.” he said.
“Why tomorrow afternoon?”
“Because,” Stitches interjected, “she needs to go through checkups and vaccinations at the Iron City hospital.”
“Quarantine,” I grumbled. Stitches reluctantly nodded.
“Well then if y'all don't have any questions, just come find me. I'm either at the mine or my office.” I slowly nodded. “Alrighty then, ah'll see you folks later. Come on, young'un.” He said and trotted off. Tallie gave us a feeble wave from his back. I watched as they disappeared down the road. I looked down at my hooves and Ace put her foreleg around me.
“She'll be fine,” she whispered. I knew she would, but I still felt that I had just torn a part of me away. I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached. My head was starting to pound while Trailblaze laughed. “Here.” Ace handed me the rest of the Golden Harp bottle.
“I don't feel like drinking...” I muttered. Ace gave me a small hug and finished the beer.
“Know what might take your mind of things?” Snake Eyes asked. I raised my eyebrow. He pointed to his and Aces saddle bags, which were filled with all sorts of things we scavenged from the raiders. “I just happen to know where to offload all this junk.”
--- --- ---
“Welcome, comrades!” The red pony with the golden hammer on his flank bellowed as we entered his store. “Welcome to the Bazaar! What can Comrade Hammer do for you today?”
“Hi!” Ace beamed, “We need to sell a bunch of stuff! Weapons and ammo mostly.”
“Then you have come to the right place. Let’s see what you have!” Ace displayed all the guns and parts we had scavenged on the counter and started haggling. I couldn’t muster any interest and decided to take a look around.
The walls were covered in all sorts of gear, from gas masks to camping equipment.
One of the walls of the bazaar was covered in weapons and ammo boxes. I took my sweet time checking out everything. They had guns custom fitted for earthponies, with mods such as shock absorbers on the grips of revolvers and stocks on rifles that allowed for easier maneuverability. Some had been fitted for the talons of griffins, like pump action shotguns and scoped battle-rifles. Two particular guns caught my eye, they were twin SMGs, side loaded, adjustable stock, custom sights and a silencer on each. The grips were made for griffin talons but maybe an earthpony could carry one in his mouth?
Other guns looked like they were built for something completely different, the stocks were weird and the sights looked a bit off.
“These weapons,” Snake Eyes said, creeping up behind me, “are built for Diamond Dogs.”
“Diamond Dogs? I thought they went extinct.” Or, at least, all got transformed into Hellhounds.
“Not all of them. Some of the miners here are Diamond Dogs. I met one earlier who claimed his great-great-great-great-great grandpappy was one of the mine operators back during the war.”
“No shit...” I whispered, still admiring the gun. My attention was drawn to Snake's hat and I looked over at the far end of the store where clothes were on display. I shoved him over to the hat racks.
“Pick a hat.” I said, nudging him. He took off his hat and looked at it.
“But I-”
“You are getting a new hat, that's final.”
“Fine.” He grumbled and looked over the hats. He tried on many, an orange one made out of wool with flaps and fuzzy bauble, a green military cap, a black fedora with a green band around it, all sorts of hats. He eventually went bright eyed at a black desperado hat. He tried it on and looked in the mirror.
“There's something missing...” I said, looking around at the rack of clothes. My eyes caught on a thick looking poncho with a cool pattern. I gave it to Snake Eyes and he wriggled it on. He looked into the mirror and grinned. He drew out his pistol like a flash and pointed it at the mirror.
“Go ahead, make my day,” he growled before laughing and holstering his revolver, “me gusta,” he chuckled.
Ace had finished clearing Hammer out and joined us, bags full of caps. “Looking pretty badass there, Snakey.” She laughed.
“I guess I do, eh?” he said, turning in the mirror. “How much does this cost, anyway?”
“Two hundred and seventy three caps.” A smaller red pony said in the doorway. He had a golden sickle on his flank. “Greetings, I am Sickle, of Sickle's clothing and amenities.”
“I thought this was the Bazaar” Snake Eyes nickered, taking the poncho and hat off.
“Yes well my brother, Hammer, takes care of weapons, armour and other gear. I mostly cater to the civilian. Is there something I can help you with sir?” He said, turning to me. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable.
“Honestly, I don't feel like shopping. I'm going to get some fresh air,” I said and walked out the door while Ace and Snake Eyes were still looking through Sickle's wares. Stitches was tinkering with his new energy rifle on the Bazaar's work bench.
I walked out into the evening air. The sun had started its descent and everypony was clocking out for the day and heading home or to the Iron City pubs and food houses. I sat on the bench I had sat on earlier. The drummer pony had packed up and disappeared; all I could hear now was the hustle and bustle of the city. I couldn't help but think about how sad and alone Tallie must have been feeling I had an urge to seek out the mayor and spend the evening with her.
“Forget about her!” Trailblaze boomed through my head, forcing me to hold me head between my hooves. “We could be marching right up to Double Down's door and kicking him into the dirt! But you're just sitting there, wallowing in pity and despair.”
“Shut up,” I muttered as I sat cradling my head.
“Never! Why are you sitting here?! We don't have a week to wait! You want to avenge your brother, don't you?! Then lets go.”
“Go away!” I growled.
“Do you really think that Double Down will wait? Do you feel that lucky? Luck didn't stop that bullet to the brain from killing you. Luck didn't stop you suffocating from your collapsed lung. If I went away, you would be dead! Do you think you have enough luck to get Double Down if we wait?!”
“Shut up!” I whimpered.
“Clover, what’s the matter?” Ace asked as she trotted to me, her saddlebags full of things she had bought.
“N-nothing!” I shouted and ran into the nearest public restroom slamming the door behind me.
Ponave was right, the restrooms were spotless, cozy even with the red velvet walls and fancy mirror. It was as if the bathroom belonged to a restaurant. I plugged the sink and ran the water, shoving my face under it.
As I rubbed my face and stared at my reflection while water dripped from my mane and nose I took a moment to steady myself, my ragged breaths slowly steadying.
I put my hoof up to the mirror as I gazed at the reflection. “What is going on?” I asked myself. “I used to be happy. Now...now I have no idea.” I dropped my hoof and sighed, “I will get to the bottom of this. I'm not going to give up.”
“Do you really think that?” The reflection asked. My coat Slowly started to turn black, black smoke started to seep from my scars, my eyes turning a glowing red, my mouth twisting into a deformed grin. “Do you really think you were happy?”
“You! You're just in my head! I'll close my eyes and every thing will go back to normal!” I yelled at him.
“We both know that is not true,” Trailblaze hissed, seeming to melt off the mirror and bleed into existence. “I am much, much more than that.”
“You're just a figment of my imagination! You aren't real! This is just a nightmare, I'm just going to wake up and everything will be how it was!”
“I fear that this isn't a nightmare, friend. I am very much real and I am here to stay, and I will be here long after you're gone,” he whispered as the laughter danced at the edge of his words.
“You can't! I am in control, not you!” I yelled, taking a step forward.
“You can't control yourself forever. Each day you will feel me chipping away your soul until I am complete As you slowly lose yourself.” he smirked.
“You need me to stay alive! I don't need you!” I took another step.
“I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE!” Trailblaze howled, I fell to the ground and scrambled to the wall.
“NO!” I yelled, covering my hears with my hooves.
“And I know that they will never be able to separate you from me!”
“They won't if I can stop this madness right now!” I pulled out my pistol, held it in my hooves and pointed the barrel at my head, working my fetlock onto the trigger. “THIS ENDS NOW!!” I yelled.
“Maybe for you!” he laughed. Tears were now streaming down my face as the overflow from the sink lapped at my hooves.
“If I die, I take you with me!” I whimpered.
“You're the only thing standing between me and complete control.”
“Just leave me alone!” I screamed.
“Can't you see? You can't escape me. You are me!”
“NO!” I yelled. “I know that deep inside-”
“I am you, you are Trailblaze!” He roared.
“NEVER!” I yelled and threw the pistol at the mirror, shattering it and ending this nightmare. I curled up on the floor and began to cry as the puddle from the overflowing sink encircled around me.
“Clover?” Ace said while she knocked on the door. I couldn't say anything, just sob. She opened it and saw the carnage.
“Clover!” She gasped before sitting down beside me and holding me in her fore legs, not saying a word as I cried my eyes out. She gently stroked my mane as I stared at the mirror, gibbering like a lunatic. We sat in the puddle for I don't know how long before I fell silent. She gave me a squeeze and helped me up.
“Come on, lets get a drink,” she whispered and walked me out of the bathroom. Two armed guards stood to greet us. They did not look happy.
Ace dropped a bag with 500caps written on it at their hooves. “He's had a tough day, this should cover the damages.” The guards looked at one another, at the bag, back to Ace and smiled.
“Thank ye kindly,” one of them said as the other picked up the bag and trotted off. I spotted a pub across the street. By the looks of it, it was relatively empty.
And I needed to get drunk.
--- --- ---
The bar was just as I had suspected, almost empty. Save for a few ponies in the booths watching the live performance. A unicorn sat on a stool at the stage and played the guitar. Snake Eyes and Stitches had gone up to the hotel where we had rooms.
Ace sat and listened to the music with a glass of whiskey. Me? I sat with my head on the table, amongst several alcoholic beverage containers. Pint glasses, bottles, shot glasses, you name it. Ace was gently patting me on the back as I mumbled and grumbled.
“I'm a monster,” I grumbled.
“No, you're not and you have proved that to me. I was wrong to think you were becoming one,” she reassured me. I didn't know if she meant it, but it made me feel a little better. Though that could have been the copious amounts of alcohol raging through my system.
“You just don't understand,” I sighed, “there's a demon living inside me and I need to cut him out, but I just don’t know how.”
“We all have our demons, Clover,” she said surprisingly clearly considering she was almost as drunk as I was. “You just have to fight them. With your hooves. And booze,” she giggled. I looked up at her and saw her smiling at me. I couldn't help but grin like a schoolcolt. “There ya go!” She giggled before giving me a light shove. “I'm drunk,” she snorted. Well, no duh.
“This next one goes out to all of the lucky ponies out there.” The musician said, and stared to play.
“Dust whirls on the plain,
Making patterns as we walk down lovers lane,
Seems that each new step is somehow preordained,
I've not traveled this way before.“
I don't know if it was the lighting or the amount of drink in me, but Ace was stunning, the way her hair fell across her face and the way her eyes sparkled.
“Green clouds in the sky,
Seem forever but we know by-and-by,
they fade just like caravans passing by,
Love seemed like that before.”
Ace continued to stare into my eyes, smiling. She slowly blinked and giggled a little, I couldn't tell if it was the booze making me see these things but I hoped not. I felt butterflies in my belly and my heart fluttered gently.
“Since I found you there's no doubt left in my heart,
I've cleared all the raiders away,
I see it clearly so we don't need any chart,
No prospectors, no mercs,
No brahmin-baron jerks.”
The butterflies in my stomach were threatening to erupt. I reached out a hoof and brushed the hair from Ace's face. Fuck it, I thought. I closed my eyes and leaned in.
The Star's lights in the night,
Shining down upon our love as it takes flight.
Our lips locked. She didn't pull away and kissed me back. Fireworks exploded in my head, this was the first truly happy feeling I had felt in a long, long time.
Of course, the night was still young...
Footnote: LEVEL UP! New perk: “Horrors of The Mind:”
Compared to what goes on your head, reality is a breeze. You have a increased resistance to fear effects and intrusions into your mind.
BONUS!!!!
The broadway rendition of the Clover and Trailblaze confrontaion:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14AfafdGHZ6fmppiv5W4ijp777MRFgBCEGpBnszyAR7M/edit?hl=en_GB
Have a question for me? ask away!
http://afriendlyhobo.tumblr.com/
Special thanks to Kal and Errantindy (welcome back) for the edits and everyone on the protodoc!
And Kkat for creating the world I have so gingerly implanted myself into.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
575 users online
1,086,696 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yes, an update
123597
Chapter 10 has been done for almost over a week, its just my editors were on holiday, understandably.
Holy SHIT... Hired Gun?! Omg... TOaC AND Heroes?! This is gonna get awesome, real quick.
123669
(pst, the line where Flare says someone asked about a job in some desert to the north west? yeah, ToaC reference.)
123690 AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
more would be nice but no rush.
Me gusta? Me gusta. xD
Though I felt he gave up his hat WAY too quickly. If I had walked around for 200 years with a hat you would have to pry it from my cold dead corpse before I gave it up.
Otherwise, I'm willing to bet Clover and Ace will wake up tomorrow with at least one of them having some form of regret. Whether that be just a particularly bad hangover or something more remains to be seen.
Also, GOGO meta-hobo!
30680 hahahaha thats good at least someone got a laugh lol (srry about the l8ness i was bord and goen thru random comments lol.)
Im gonna miss Tallie if she truly is gona stay at iron city.
Okay. *cracks hooves* Let's do this.
Where... to... start? Well, I guess I'll go with the characters this time, Clover namely. It's a nice change of pace to have a main character who is a more-than-competent survivor from the get-go, one that's well-versed in weaponry and essential Wasteland skills. I also have to applaud you with your manner of developing Clover. It wasn't perfect perhaps, but was it done very well? By all means yes. From grieving the loss of Shamrock to his first experiences of death, from the Trailblaze takeovers to the relationship he builds with his companions, you've pulled it off very well. Clover is obviously the star of this show, and because of that I'm not seeing quite as much development with Ace, Stitches, Snake Eyes, or Tallie. That isn't to say you've delved into them a bit; we saw bits and pieces of their histories (more so for Snake Eyes), but compared to Clover, they aren't quite as fleshed out. We're only so far into the story, however. I'm hopeful that you'll pull it off a little more, especially since you're investing a bit into Ace toward the end of this most recent installment.
Atmosphere. You're getting better as the story continues to progress. I didn't get too much of a feel for the Ponave Desert nor the locations the main characters went through on their journeys. I didn't get too much of a feel for the locations, but once we hit Lipton, it went right up there, if you get what I mean. There was a slight deviation with the Black Mountain Pass where I felt there wasn't sufficient fleshing out of the atmosphere there, but otherwise, you do well.
Spelling and grammar are a little erratic in this story, but you were the one who mentioned that in the opening after all. It isn't enough to detract from the story by any means, but just know that it's there.
Keep it up, friend. Let's see where you take us next.
Cheers,
Adder1
130963
That comment is possibly the best comment a Side-Fic author could ever hear. I love you so much right now.
131378
Yup, my editor will be dealing with 5-7 after he finishes 10.
131385
Uhh... Thanks, i guess! You, sir is now one of my favorite authors ever!
131386
Glad to hear it!
Honestly, I have to ask what you think of the characters, I'm kinda having a little planning crisis and I need as much input as possible...
131393
So far? (I'm at chapter six(seven?)) It is somehow making me feel like something wasn't explained about the characters but i can't exactly put my finger on it... But it can always be just me, you know? I'm something you can call a speed-reader, so it isn't common, but i actually can miss a part of the text while reading it... but your writing style, it is ... something easy to follow (but when an action scene comes, it goes too fast... even when he's at cover, the narrative doesn't slows down). That is all for now... i'll try to tell more when i reach chapter 9(10?).
Uhh... So... All the character development until this point is... Fairly well... But you'll have to do more than givin' little hints on characters that ain't Clover or Snake... Ace as far as i saw, is fairly good, and she is very good at shootin'... that basically covers it all about her... oh, yeah. Almost forgetin' after this chapter? She... uh... may have changed her side of the 'fence'? And Stitches? A medic with a rather 'strange' knowledge on guns... Otherwise he's just too obscure to know anything for sure.
If anyone has a question for me, just ask here: http://afriendlyhobo.tumblr.com/
I'm loving the creepiness of trailblazer
144490
*cough cough* Trailblaze *cough cough*