Mad as a Hatter

by squitxl

Top of the Hat

(Present Canterlot)

The ponies of Canterlot went about their day like any other. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was out of place. It was just a normal mundane summer day. On this day a certain taxi cart sped down the streets heading to one of the exits. Today was a dangerous day to be on the streets.

"Ah, I'm feeling like today is a coffee day." The Hatter reaches his arm into his hat and pulls out a mug. On the mug was an emblem that resembled a smile sewn together with buttons for eyes. He took a sip and went back to looking at what Canterlot had become. "Nothing beats personally seeing what the world has become." The abnormally fast cart brought a few looks from the ponies walking by. Besides the speed all they saw were two ponies pulling and a silver unicorn sitting in the back having a drink.

---

Back in the castle Celestia was briefing the captain of the guard while Luna and the elements were in a smaller waiting room. Luna calmly drinking tea her choice of tea. The girls on the other hoof were trying to grasp the situation.

"How could that monster do such a thing, he darkened my coat to a light gray." Rarity was told that she had to wait until Celestia spoke to them, so she couldn't go to the closest bath. "At the very least the coloring isn't patchy."

Twilight spoke among the group then went to muttering possibilities and back again. "The princess said he was under Discord, but all his magic did was a create a big smokescreen. Whereas Discord did so many more problems." She then went to mutter "and was what he did even magic?"

"If he hadn't done that I would have got him in an instant." Rainbow Dash was brooding over not being able to grab him when he was still in her sight.

"Ah'm just glad he didn't make us run another maze, last time didn't turn out that great." Applejack was levelheaded about the whole ordeal.

"He didn't act like a meanie like Discord did, maybe he isn't a big baddie." Pinkie chimed in bringing the rest of the occupants to give her a strange look, with the exception of Luna.

"Pinkie, Celestia said that the Mad Hatter isn't sane, just because he didn't hurt anypony doesn't mean he won't in the future." Twilight gave a good point.

"He seemed pretty angry when the princess was talking about Discord." Fluttershy quietly stated.

Twilight muttered something to herself then sighed. "Putting that aside, I can't understand what those cards had to do with his magic." She took a moment to remember that Luna was in the same room. "Princess Luna, do you know about the Hatter's magic?"

Luna stopped her drink of tea and set it down. She gave a good stoic look at the room's occupants then sighed. "The Hatter...acts differently each time I see him." Everypony in the room had a look of confusion. "Celestia and I met the Hatter shortly after Discord took to power. He showed up like a mysterious prince, but he didn't act like it." Luna looked out a nearby window, eyes filled with nostalgia.

Twilight was the first to break her trip down memory lane "Aren't you exaggerating? He couldn't have changed that much."

Luna's eyes honed in on Twilight like a hawk. "While he always seem to act differently every time I saw him, there was once one time where I knew he spoke from the heart. Maybe if I had accepted his offer this would have turned out differently." Luna lowered her head in a downcast manner. The rest of the room's occupants looked between each other confused.

---

(After the meeting in the Everfree)

A Mad Hatter walked through the castle with grace and a upper class atmosphere. The mare guard, Sweet Aegis, was barely able to keep up with him. Each time another guard came walking the opposite way Sweet would look more guard-like and less like she didn't know what she was suppose to be doing. He must be searching for something, Sweet thought to herself as she gazed after him. Should I be leading him to the exit or tell one of the other guards?

Hatter finally stopped to find himself at a dead-end. "Well, I'm absolutely lost..." He'd been strolling through the castle taking so many turns it's a surprised he hadn't hit an end sooner.

"You mean you were just lost the entire time?" A scowl plastered onto Sweet's face. "You could have just let me lead you to the exit instead of getting us sidetracked."

"Thou!" A shout came from the entrance of the hallway. A small huffing indigo alicorn came to a stop as the two turned to meet the filly. She looked like she had gone for a few hours of running, or she was trying to keep up with the Hatter speeding down empty hallways looking for a exit. Luna took a deep breathe and collected herself "thou said that thoust just arrived, wouldst thou be needing a placeth to stayeth?" Luna looked like a mix of anxiousness and interest. Sweet looked between them waiting for a answer.

"You're nice..." Sweet squinted at him and twisted her head confused while Luna was just plain surprised, but slightly confused. "But someone already gave me a place to stay and it would be nothing but rude to him to take your offer." Both of the mares had their mouths agape.

"We are a princess and thy going to turneth me down?" Luna looked offended that he would even suggest it.

"Well, yes. I'm not going to be rude to the first friend I made after getting here." A dark glare covered Luna's face. Hatter held a innocent and neutral aura about him. Sweet couldn't do anything besides back up and hope something wasn't going to happen. "Also, does a princess really get talked down to by a room full of stuck up snobs?" Hatter tilted his head and looked down at Luna as she went from anger to shock. While this was going on Sweet had went to her "happy place" and just zoned everything out.

"How dareth thou!" Her rage came back even greater than before. Hatter's eyebrows rose, his head went back slightly, and he braced himself. "Thou talketh down to a princess liketh thou knoweth everything? Thou knoweth nothing, ye art just a just a commoner!" As she finished tears were running down her cheeks. Hatter tried to think of something to fix the situation, but just frowned.

---

(Hatter POV)

"Wow, you made her cry. Do you also want to burn down an orphanage?" Hat just had to rub it in.

I just wanted to show her that the chumps in there were using her and her sister. From the look of it those snobs didn't even want Luna there. They just wanted to have a headpiece to keep them in power. I focused on Luna to see most of her anger had subsided. I'm not a great thinker so I just did something that would comfort me as a child. With one quick motion I scooped the small mare and brought her into a hug. She was only about a foot smaller than Sweet so there wasn't any real lifting, just having her standing on two hoofs. Her body went stiff from pure shock. I'm sure Sweet's jaw has hit the floor already.

"Oh it has, it's very cartoony." Hat responded.

You can see even when I'm not looking? Mentally I was intrigued, but I tried hard not to physically show it.

"Seems I can...is it strange that I just thought you weren't blinking?" I could feel Hat look deep within himself to find the answer to his own question. Only to have him shrug it off and forget it.

I felt Luna's body go from stiff, to trying to push me away slightly, to limp and crying deeply into my shoulder. I don't know if it's uncomfortable for a pony to be on two legs, but I tried not to think too deeply about it. "It's alright, just let it all out." I tried to remember what the reason for getting yelled at was, even though the conversation wasn't more than a few minutes ago. "Whether anypony likes it or not this path you've chosen is to be a princess, and a princess has more power than some arrogant nobles." Luna sniffled at that and we looked into each others eyes.

There was the sound of a cleared throat from the side. We both looked over at Sweet and then back at each other. Things started getting weird quite fast. I let her go and she took a few steps back. She rubbed her eyes to clear the tears. "Princess if you ever need someone to talk to, like when your sister is too busy, just find me." I bowed before her, hoping to come off as gentlemanly. "It would be my pleasure to have your company." Luna looked at me deeply, her eyes red from the tears.

"Princess..." A deep, stern voice came from the end of the hall. All eyes went to a stallion guard that looked like he'd seen the darkest of the world. His eyes went from the princess to me. Those eyes...I didn't see myself ever talking to him again after this. "I believe 'tis timeth for thy guest to goeth. " His monotone voice made me want to shove a pie straight into his face and see what would happen.

Luna wasn't deterred by him in the least. "I will leadeth them out myself-"

"That won't be necessary. I believe the guardeth next to him was ordered to escort him to the princesses then to the exit." I could tell that was a stab at Sweet. I noticed her look down disappointed in herself. My eyes went back to this guy, he truly was a prick.

"Don't start a fight here, you'll only make it worse." Hat trying to calm the internal fire for this guard.

Kill him, he stands between our plan. I started to collect myself. He won't see it coming when his life is snuffed out. I'll just walk up to him and... I'm thinking about killing this shitty guard with what exactly? How am I suppose to kill him when all I have is a hat and the suit on my back? Well brain, do you have some super secret plan that I don't know about?

Drive his own blade through his chest. Does my brain not think things through?

So you're saying to walk up to a guard who looks like hes been fighting battles for most his life and just take his sword? Wow, it's like I've see a new world. Everything is just opening up for me. I laid the sarcasm out pretty hard. I had already figured out this wasn't my brain I was talking to, nor was it some split personality. It is some evil spirit putting dark thoughts in my head.

"I'm able to pinpoint the location of it" Hat may be a great guy who is just a copy of me, but as I said there's only me, a suit, and a hat. A hat that just happened to have something inside it. "Oh, I guess I thought I had it sealed off."

I just have to ignore the voices in my head so I can waltz right out of here. "Thank you princess but your guard is correct, I only need to be lead by the guard given to me." Luna looked surprised or slightly hurt, couldn't really tell. "I hope we can have another get together again." I started to walk back the way I came past this depressing guard. He gave me a cold and hateful look. I really wanted to punch his guy. Sweet came close behind and as we past the second turn I stopped my disguise. "Your coworker has quite the bedside manner." I looked to Sweet with my anger finally on the surface.

Sweet looked slightly fearful of me. "Let me lead you to the exit." I watched as she went past me still looking at the way we came from. I turned and followed after her.

After a few minutes of silence she continued. "He's one of the highest ranking military here. Yet, here he is watching over the princesses instead of out protecting us. Why do you think that is?" She didn't even look towards me. I had a feeling like this was rhetorical.

"Because of the higher ups would rather use him to rein the princesses in." She turned her head and raised an eyebrow. I just shrugged it off.

"While I want to believe you're wrong, but that seems like the only possible explanation." She hung her head low in a depressing behavior. I had a feeling she didn't like how things were being run. We walked in silence from then on.

---

(3rd POV)

The two had finally reached the exit of the castle. Hatter spoke up first. "Finally out of that damn confusing place." He turned to Sweet who seemed done for the day. "You know Sweet If you ever need help or just want to talk things out you can always come to me." He pointed his thumb at his chest in an overly cliche pose. Sweet only tiredly looked at him. "I'm going to be living at this really flashy place to the north west." Sweet changed to a look of questioning but didn't say anything. "TTFN ta ta for now" Hat gave a wave and walked down the path. A warm and fulfilled smile spread across her face.

Author's Note:

Sorry about the wait, but I've trying to figure out what to write. I lost a small part of the story when I saved over what I wrote with a backup, but it was nothing major. Hardest part about this chapter was the bit where the mane 6 were talking to each other. Next chapter will be back in the present. (yay)
Still no editor, so tell me about all the mistakes I've made. I'll read the chapter over again in the morning, going to get some sleep.

Comments

[Pizzaro]

Great chapter! Hope the next one comes soon.

[Psycho Pwny]

Looking good! Don't worry about the wait--as long as you don't stop. This is a really neat concept!